The Twelve Days of Gheorgemas: Day 9

On the ninth day of Gheorghemas, Big Gheorghe gave to me . . . 

Nine Games Worth Notice

A Moment of Rest

Seven Things for Reading

Six old and new musical experiences

Five roadsters you can and should buy right now

FORE! An overdue update on LIV & the PGA Tour

Three Ways of Coping

Stories from two three strokes

And much needed hip mo-bili-ty

College football is in the midst of a sea change that includes mega-conferences and greater player empowerment in the form of approved payments and the transfer portal. Add to that the first year of the 12-team FBS playoff, and this season has been unlike any other. 

I’m old enough to remember when discussion of a playoff of any sort was off the table. A playoff would somehow devalue the regular season. It would be onerous for the, ahem, student-athletes, because it would require several more games and extra physical and perhaps academic burdens. This was always transparent nonsense, since FCS and D2 and D3 football and every other NCAA sport conduct playoffs; it was simply a way to preserve the FBS bowl structure, a patronage setup that enriched a select few and has long been indefensibly quaint or quaintly indefensible -- whichever you prefer. 

As in most areas, however, concerns and resistance magically melt away when the amount of money available usurps that of the old regime. A two-team selection became four and now 12 as TV contracts worth billions will be distributed mostly among the power conferences and schools. As for a devalued regular season, viewership and interest appear to be just fine. 

Anyone who has checked out on college football due to the present money grab is 1) rare and 2) hasn’t paid attention for quite some time. All that said, here are nine games for perusing that helped define a compelling season: 

Memphis 20, Florida State 12. Sept. 14. Florida State’s preseason No. 10 ranking was already a memory, after losses to Georgia Tech and Boston College to begin the year. Coach Mike Norvell’s loss to his former program, the one that landed him the FSU gig, and a drop to 0-3 cemented the fact that there are structural problems in Tallahassee. Memphis limited the Seminoles to 37 yards rushing and less than 250 total yards, this after both Ga. Tech and BC controlled the line of scrimmage. Florida State finished 2-10, its only victories against Cal and FCS Charleston Southern, while Memphis of the AAC went 10-2. The Seminoles’ notoriously entitled and impatient booster base would like to make a change, but Norvell signed a contract extension after winning the ACC last season. His buyout is $64 million if he leaves, according to USA Today, and he would be owed 85 percent of that if he is fired. Expensive lesson. 

James Madison 70, North Carolina 50. Sept. 21. Most power conference programs have unsightly losses in their history. Goes with the territory. Some, however, are more damaging and telling than others. Venerable coach Mack Brown’s second stint at Carolina featured both successes and hiccups. But the Tar Heels’ performance against JMU, just two years into its status as an FBS program, was irredeemable. The Dukes hung 53 points on Carolina in the first half, with receivers running lonesome open for big plays, and totaled 611 yards. Brown himself called it “embarrassing.” Fast forward a couple months and as the Heels prepared for their finale against rival N.C. State, Brown said he planned to coach next season. UNC administration responded with ‘no thanks’ and said it would look elsewhere. Brown coached the finale, a disappointing 35-30 loss that again displayed the 6-6 Heels’ inability to finish, along with the harsh truth of major college coaching, that the Reaper eventually comes for them all. And when a school that made its athletic bones with basketball then went out and spent money to hire Bill Belichick, it conveys all you need to know about which sport calls the shots in college athletics. 

Vanderbilt 40, Alabama 35. Oct. 5. If you wanted a Sign of the Apocalypse, or simply an indication that college football has changed, you could do worse than this result. One of the biggest upsets in SEC history caused a scramble through the record books and made a folk hero of Vandy QB Diego Pavia, who had 309 yards of total offense and stared down the No. 1-ranked Crimson Tide’s every challenge. It was Vandy’s first win against ‘Bama in 40 years and first ever against a top-five team. The Commodores were 0-60 against the top five previously, with 50 of those losses by double figures. Nick Saban said prior to the game that Vandy Stadium was the easiest road venue in the SEC, which successor Kalen DeBoer might dispute. Turned out that three losses, including the loss to Vandy and especially the late thump job to Oklahoma cost the Tide a playoff berth. 

Oregon 32, Ohio State 31, Oct. 12. Terrific showdown in the newly distended, geographically incongruous conference membership world. No. 2 vs No. 3. Seven lead changes, 963 yards of offense, big plays from primo players. Outcome wasn’t decided until Ohio State QB Will Howard, trying to get his team in position for a potential winning field goal, took off on a run in the final seconds but slid down as time expired. Howard passed for 336 yards and two TDs, while Oregon’s Dillon Gabriel, an Oklahoma transfer who replaced NFL draft pick Bo Nix, threw for 341 yards and two touchdowns and ran for another. The Ducks used that game as a springboard to an unbeaten regular season and No. 1 ranking, and moderated coach Dan Lanning’s tendencies to go for two, go for it on fourth down and let his imagination run untethered. 

Indiana 56, Nebraska 7. Oct. 19. The Hoosiers opened eyes with a 6-0 start and top-25 ranking under new coach Curt Cignetti but the schedule was tame. Nebraska was supposed to provide a test. They resemble the Cornhuskers of old in name only, though they entered 5-1 overall. They had some quality pieces, and were the only program in the nation not to have allowed a rushing touchdown. Indiana notched five rushing TDs, 215 yards on the ground, and forced five Nebraska turnovers. Cignetti has overseen an amazing turnaround with the program’s first 11-win season and a berth in the playoff after being picked to finish 17th in the 18-team Big Ten. The former JMU coach and one-time Nick Saban assistant doesn't lack confidence and provided one of the great press conference sound bites, at his intro presser. A reporter asked why he thought he could transform the Hoosiers’ dismal fortunes. He responded, “I win. Google me.” 

Colorado 34, Cincinnati 23. Oct. 26. Not a hugely dramatic result, more a sign of progress from the most visible guy in college football. The Buffs cleanly dispatched Cincy for their sixth win, making them bowl eligible for the first time since 2016 – not counting the COVID season of 2020. Coach Prime’s second-favorite child, or wherever Shedeur Sanders ranks in Dad’s present hierarchy, completed his first 15 passes and was 25 for 30 for 323 yards and two scores. Two-way star and future Heisman winner Travis Hunter had nine catches for 153 yards and a TD, and broke up four passes on defense. The Cincy win was part of a finishing stretch of five wins in their last six games and a 9-3 overall record. A year ago, Colorado
started quickly in Deion’s first season but faded to 4-8, prompting some to wonder if he was all sizzle and no substance. He’ll have to replace Shedeur and Hunter, though it’s increasingly apparent that he wants to and is able to build a program. 

SMU 48, Pitt 25. Nov. 3. Who better to navigate the terrain of conference realignment, payments to players and easy player transfer than a Texas school with deep-pocketed donors who’ve had their noses pressed up against the window of Big Boy college football for 30 years? SMU took advantage of ACC discomfit, talked their way into the league and ran through it on their first lap. The Mustangs figured to be immediate contenders but their deconstruction of previously unbeaten and 18th-ranked Pitt confirmed that they are going to be a chore. They led 31-3 at halftime and cruised. Their transfer-heavy and presumably well compensated roster is upper tier, and head coach and offensive tinkerer Rhett Lashlee has a name that sounds like he could be the wealthy heir to a Memphis real estate fortune or a successful attorney with a dark secret on “Days of Our Lives.” 

Arizona State 28, BYU 23. Nov. 23. The Sun Devils’ march to the Big 12 Conference title game in their first year in the league featured this resume’ builder against 14th-ranked BYU. Coach Kenny Dillingham inherited a mess two years ago in the wake of the Herm Edwards failed experiment. After going 3-9 in the last year of the Pac-12 as we knew it, ASU was picked to finish last in the Big 12 but went 10-2, its best record in 25 years. The Sun Devils were led by all-purpose back and Super Mario Bros. character Cam Skattebo and a roster dotted with transfers. A Phoenix native, Dillingham (34) is one of the youngest head coaches in D1 and was previously offensive coordinator and QB coach at Oregon, Florida State and Auburn before landing his hometown gig. 

Michigan 13, Ohio State 10. Nov 30. We live in interesting times, when a coach who has won 87 percent of his games and 90 percent of his conference games is vilified because he is 1-4 against one particular opponent. Of course, it makes no sense. Sports, man. That it was a mind-blowing result in one of the nastiest, most heated rivalries in football is gas on the fire. The second-ranked Buckeyes face-planted, at home, in a game in which they were 21-point faves. Michigan entered 6-5 and had mostly scuffled along after losing coach Jim Harbaugh to the NFL and a slew of players from their national championship team. The Buckeyes and their $20 million roster couldn’t much run or pass and missed a couple of makeable field goals. Michigan threw for a grand total of 62 yards and two picks, yet won. The post-game dust-up at midfield, complete with pepper spray, wasn’t a good look, either. The only thing that might redeem OSU coach Ryan Day – emphasis on “might” – is a natty. No pressure. 

Honorable Mention: Several Miami games, which highlight the value of a top-shelf quarterback, even just a one-year rental. Washington State transfer Cam Ward, whose NIL deal was reportedly in the $2 million range, elevated Miami back into the national discussion. Texas-Texas A&M, which drove home the absurdity of shelving rivalry games because of competing conference interests. And for the Longhorns, even in an era of transfers and roster overhaul, there is still great value in continuity, development and an emphasis on line play. Texas' offensive and defensive lines are veteran groups that have been together for a few years and the cornerstone of what may be the nation's best overall roster. Boise State-Washington State, in which the Broncos and primo back Ashton Jeanty (259 yards, 4 TD) dusted the former Pac-12 member near the start of an 11-game win streak that landed them in the playoffs. The bar is higher for non-power conference schools to make the playoffs, but the expanded field provides an avenue if the stars align.

I've Been Doing It Wrong My Whole Life - A Gheorghemas Resolution

I hate what I do for a living but I'm stuck doing it because I don't know how to do anything else and, more importantly, I'm a total coward.  I cannot imagine not knowing when my next paycheck is coming, or not having health insurance, or being at all entrepreneurial.  I can't think of anything else to do but work these shitty mind-numbing jobs making PDFs, moving commas around, and explaining the same thing over and over to people who will never understand it.

Oliver Ackermann is the opposite.  He's the frontman for A Place to Bury Strangers and the founder of Death by Audio, a company that "handmakes effect pedals in an underground warehouse in Queens, NYC."  Click on this link and check out all the different pedals they make, watch the videos for each one and marvel at how cool the physical pedals are, their shapes and graphics and retrograde Radio Shack meets Buck Rogers aesthetic, and the crazy ways they manipulate sound.  Here's an example if you're too lazy to poke around their website.

So cool, right?  You know why Ackermann created this company?  Here's why, in his own words (and I added a few extra seconds before the origin story just so you can get a fuller gist of his essence).

He was squatting in a warehouse and wasn't making any money, which seems to be another way of saying he was homeless and unemployed, and he wanted to go backpacking in Europe with his girlfriend, so he started an audio equipment company focused entirely on guitar pedals for noise rock/shoegaze musicians and 20-plus years later it's an international business.  How the hell does this happen?  How did he even have a girlfriend to go backpacking with?

If you have the time you should watch the full Ackermann interview, the new A Place To Bury Strangers album can be converted into a synthesizer provided you have some foundational know-how and a soldering iron.  And he has some amazing combover game.

This guy inspired me to say fuck it, to make a Gheorghemas resolution to quit working for the man, to stop shaving my head and grow a powerful combover, and to launch a niche business so preposterous that it cannot fail.  2025 y'all!

Twelve days of Gheorghemas: Day Eight

On the eighth day of Big Gheorghe gave to me…a moment of rest.  

Between Christmas, year end work, and the gift of a gastrointestinal bug that has swept through the Marls household this week, Day Eight of Gheorghemas has been a bit delayed.  In an effort to avoid holding up the festivities any further, Big Gheorghe and I decided to mail this one in a bit.  

I had planned on offering 8 more fearless predictions for 2025.  However, based my track record from last year, that seems a bit futile.  So I was thinking, what should be my schtick for Gheoghemas? Zed is the car guy, Dave is the blind book guy, Squeeks is the music guy, Whit is the sentimentalist.   Mrs. Marls advised that maybe I’m the curmudgeon guy.  I told her that I thought that our man on the Outer Banks already had that covered much more eloquently than me.  

So where does that leave me?  Maybe I’m just the lazy one, and maybe, just maybe, that is ok.  It could be just what we need.  How do we take things less seriously?  Maybe by taking a step back.  The traditional Judeo-Christian day of rest is day 7, but maybe here at Gheorghe the day of rest is day 8.  

So that is the gift for today.  License to mail it in every once in a while, sit back and take a rest, smell the roses, maybe even take a nap.  

Merry Gheorghemas!

Doors Closing, Opening, and Sean Duffy is Somehow Involved

If you're true Gheorghe Head, you might recall my entry into the rarified air of sports franchise ownership. I return you today with a bit of bad news that's offset by some good with respect to FC Pinzgau Saalfelden.

In a nutshell, we're out of money. So the Club is dissolving. Seems our ambition didn't match our preparation and performance. Bummer.

But out of the ashes of the Mountainous Blues comes a new opportunity that brings more than a tiny bit of serendipitous benefit for me. As a part of the FCPS dissolution, shareholders are offered a small stake in Carrick Rangers FC, a club based in Carrickfergus, Northern Ireland that currently plays in the Northern Ireland Football League (NIFL) Premiership. Rangers are currently in fourth place in the league, and the top three finishers are entered into European competition (most likely the Europa League or Conference League). 

So I seem to have traded up from the Austrian third division.

Likely more interesting to our readers is Rangers' location. When I first heard the town of Carrickfergus in connection to the club, it sparked an association in my mind, but I couldn't place it. And then, as I looked at the new Adrian McKinty book waiting on my desk to be read, it clicked. Detective Sean Duffy resides in Carrickfergus, just 11 miles from Belfast, hard on the the north shore of Belfast Lough.

From disappointment a bright and wondrous bit of news to end the year. Come on you Rangers!

Filler for the Filthy Animals

 I swear that Day 8 is on its way. Unfortunately, the new work gig comes with a ton of year end responsibilities that are cutting into drafting time. 

In the interim, I thought I’d leave these here for a little Christmas Day enjoyment. The first is a clip we have all seen a million time at this point…

That right, Ziggy Stardust and ol’ El Bingo belting out Little Drummer Boy/Peace on Earth. By reports, Bowie only agreed to do it because his mom loved Crosby. Bowie also refused to sing Little Drummer Boy so they penned Bowie’s Peace on Earth portion. Put them together and you have gold, Jerry.  Gold!

The second clip is one I was unaware aware of until this year. Maybe I’m late to the party on this one, but as Blah-Blah-Blah once said, I was very amused.

Yep, that’s Ferrell & Reilly reenacting Bing’s 1977 Christmas special. Wait for the end for a few extra fireworks.

Merry Christmas Gheorghies! I’m thankful for each and every one of you…even Dave.

Just a Castaway, Still DOGG

We keep on fillin' it up, on our way to destiny. Today, while we eagerly await the eight, we offer up a collab we didn't see coming, but like Snoop and Martha, it works a lot better than we had any right to expect. 

Speaking of Snoop, here's Calvin Broaddus and Gordan Sumner blending styles.

Car Filler, alternatively titled "Steve McQueen and Jerry Seinfeld Walk Into a Porsche Dealership"

As I have written here before, Jerry Seinfeld is widely known as one of the world's most prominent Porsche collectors and owns one of the world's largest collections of Porsches.  The crown jewel of his collection is a 1970 Porsche 917K.  Only 25 of these were made--the car was created solely to race at LeMans, and the rules at the time allowed you to use a bigger engine only if you made 25 copies of the car, ostensibly making it a production vehicle as opposed to a prototype.  You can learn more about it in this (long) video.

Seinfeld's 917 is extra special because Steve McQueen owned it and used it in the movie LeMans.  You know Steve McQueen, the coolest goddamn motherfucker on the silver screen.

 

And it can be soon be yours, assuming you have an extra $20 million or so.

Pre-8 Filler

I’m hoping to pen day eight later today but in the interim,  I saw this tidbit that seemed to warrant mention on the internet’s leading blog for Sciuridae information.  I also wanted to post it in a font that Dave could read.

According to the good folks over at Smithsonian Magazine, in response to environmental changes and the most recent sign that the apocalypse is upon us, squirrels in California have taken to carnivorous behavior.  You can see video of the little killers below  

Somewhere, Bob Ross is gently weeping.

Music Making History: How A Song Saved A Theater

It's not often that my obscure musical interests intersect with the type of content that fits here at GTB, but this one seems appropriate.

If you have 15 minutes to spare, check out this video about a St. Paul, Minnesota community coming together to save a historic building.

 

There's a bit more of the story that can be found here.

It's vital in these times to remember that the strength of a united community can make good things happen.  

I'm grateful for the little community and its ability to foster friendship and dipshittery.

Cheers, Gheorghies. 

 

Gheorghasbord: Sporting News

Spanning the globe to bring you some of the most obscure sporting content you could ever want, Gheorghie-style, while we eagerly await Day 8. 

Obviously, we're aware that the girl from Ipanema went to Greenland. Now the good people of that island (the world's largest, dontchaknow) are hoping to head back this direction. The island's football association, KAK (I don't know, either), applied for membership in CONCACAF, hoping to find a place to compete. The Danish territory would prefer to play in UEFA, but that federation's rules limit access to sovereign nations, leaving Greenland on the outside looking in. 

Greenland would not be our region's smallest nation, surpassing both Monserrat and Anguilla, among others. I'm all for it, if only to see the US men and women compete in this spectacular setting:

Way back in the 19-oughts, a fellow named Fred Merkle made a notorious baserunning era to cost his New York Giants a win over the Chicago Cubs. The loss ultimately cost the Giants the National League pennant and the rookie's mistake was forever known as Merkle's Boner. The meaning of words may change from time to time.

Last week, in the ultimate match of the chess world championships, China's Ding Liren made a beginner's mistake against Indian prodigy Giresh Dommaraju, which cost him the defense of his world title. Said Ding, "I was totally in shock when I realized I made a blunder." It took Dommaraju a moment to realize his good fortune, though the announcers caught it right away:

The final moments of the #DingGukesh World Championship Match in 11 Languages! ♟️ pic.twitter.com/U9stJrrzPi

— Chess.com (@chesscom) December 12, 2024

Didn't think we'd see Ding's Boner, but here we are.

In less agony of defeatish and far more whimsical news, we were thrilled to see the new design for the trophy awarded to the winner of the Pop Tart Bowl. Miami and Iowa State square off on December 28 in Orlando for a trophy that features a fully operational toaster optimized for Pop Tarts.

You'd better believe the Teej has ordered one of these for his abode.

And finally, let it be told that Dolphins linebacker Anthony Walker Jr. is a both a mensch and a tremendous giver of gifts. The 8th-year pro out of Northwestern gave each of his teammates a replica of their high school football jerseys for Christmas. That alone is a really thoughtful and cool gesture. As a bonus Easter egg for me, the jersey Da'shawn Hand receives early in the video below (green and gold with a W at the top of the shirt is none other than the kit of the Woodbridge Senior High School Mighty Vikings from Woodbridge, VA, your boy's alma mater. Best high school east of the Mississippi, according to our principal.

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The Twelve Days of Gheorghemas: Day Seven

On the seventh day of Gheorghemas,

Big Gheorghe gave to me . . . Seven Things for Reading

Six old and new musical experiences

Five roadsters you can and should buy right now

FORE! An overdue update on LIV & the PGA Tour

Three Ways of Coping

Stories from two three strokes

And much needed hip mo-bili-ty

Let me start by saying this has been a GREAT year for reading, the greatest year for reading in quite a while for me-- and this is not due to any particular book but instead due to some excellent technology (and an excellent platform to help utilize the technology).

Without further fanfare, the tech:

1. The Kindle Scribe

Last spring, I traded in my puny and feeble original Kindle and I sprung for a gigantic Kindle Scribe. This is out of character for me but it was on sale. Normally, because I am environmentally conscious (and cheap) I never buy new tech when I have serviceable old tech (this is why I still have an Android phone from 2020 and I can't join the morning basketball confirmation group chat so my wife has to have it on her iPhone and let's just say that those guys send a lot of GIFs and she's not very happy about it).

But this Kindle Scribe is awesome, so awesome that my friend Ann creates a new name for whenever she sees it-- Kindle Max, Kindle Grande, Kindle Ultimate, Kindle Colossal, etc.-- because I make all other Kindle users look lame and pathetic.

This Kindle is my version of a midlife crisis purchase-- this is my big pickup truck, fast motorcycle, and expensive sports car rolled up into one gadget. I can't express how virile, potent, and utterly dominant I feel when I pull this thing out at the beach, and the regular-sized Kindle users hide their devices in shame. And you can make the font really big! You can write notes on it as well. It's the bomb-- and as my eyes get worse and worse from grading high school essays, this thing is a real boon. Highly recommended.

And, if you get a Kindle Scribe, then you're going to need to frequent this platform:

2. BookBub

I fucking love BookBub. You CAN get free books for your Kindle on Libby, the library app, but then you only have two weeks to read the book and there is often a long wait (and Libby doesn't have everything). But BookBub is a free service that recommends the best digital books that are on sale. Usually for $1.99. And there's an algorithm and some shit to check off, so you get recs that are in your wheelhouse, for the most part.

As a result, I am stocked up on books on my Kindle. If the apocalypse comes and I break my glasses, like Burgess Meredith in that great Twilight Zone episode "Time Enough at Last," I will be just fine. Because you can make the font so big! I wouldn't need any glasses!

Dammit. I wish I sprung for a Kindle Scribe . . .

Anyway, BookBub culls Amazon for deals and sends an email every day with recommendations that are on sale. Right now I am reading The Long Island Compromise by Taffy Brodesser-Akner, which I purchased for $1.99. The meaning of the title is worth that much alone (it's filthy).

I actually need to stop purchasing digital books and start on the massive backlog of books I've already purchased, books including but not limited to: The Witch Elm by Tana French, The Physics of Life: The Evolution of Everything by Adrian Bejan, Spin by Robert Charles Wilson, The Truth and Other Stories by Stanislaw Lem, Growth: From Microorganisms to Megacities by Vaclav Smil, The Rise and Fall of the Dinosaurs by Steve Brusette, and Embassytown by China Mieville.

And now I should recommend some actual books . . .

3. Magpie Murders and all of the Hawthorne mysteries.

Anthony Horowitz is the master of the meta-mystery. If you need more information than that, you could read my individual reviews about these books or listen to a We Defy Augury podcast episode I did on this topic.

Or you could just trust me.

4. Everyone Who Is Gone Is Here: The United States, Central America, and the Making of a Crisis by Jonathan Blitzer

This is the ugly story of how we helped to destabilize a lot of governments in Central America and how much of the border crisis is related to our meddling. Not fun, but required reading.

5. The Day of the Triffids by John Wyndham

A fast-paced classic post-apocalyptic tale. Totally entertaining.

6. The Fifties by David Halberstam

Comprehensive and smart. The fifties were more dynamic than you might imagine. I've heard Halberstam's The Breaks of the Game is one of the best sports books ever written-- he reports on the 1979-80 Portland Trailblazers and widens the lens to all kinds of issues-- so hopefully I'll read that one in the near future.

7. The New Me and Banal Nightmare by Halle Butler

These two books really amplified my understanding of listless millennial women . . . and both are funny as all hell.

Happy Georghemas and Happy Reading!

Large font fucking rules!

The Twelve Days of Gheorghemas: Day Six

On the sixth day of Gheorghemas:

Big Gheorghe gave to me…

Six old and new musical experiences

Five roadsters you can and should buy right now

FORE! An overdue update on LIV & the PGA Tour

Three Ways of Coping

Stories from two three strokes

And much needed hip-mo-bili-ty

Music is what cures the soul, at least for me.The ability to go put a record on the old turntable (or fire up Spotify) and just mellow out after a stressful day or week is my usual form of therapy these days. This year I got to check out 13 shows. 

As most of you know I have an eclectic taste in music. Six of the shows had something different going for them than the other ones, except for the Swedish death metal band I took my son and a few of his friends to.

Started the year off with seeing Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit at Radio City Music Hall with some Lammies (Zman, Juan Carlos, AReed) and a friend of AReed’s. The friend did something I had not witnessed at a show before. When we got to our seats he took off his sandals and did not put them back on until the end of the show. He repeatedly went to grab beers and hit the restroom during the show in his socks. But whatever floats your boat. First time seeing Isbell. Great show with great friends.

The next two shows brought back memories of one of my favorite shows from our college days, Primus and Fishbone at the Boat House. Two different shows this year but each show had a bonus. First up was Primus playing with A Perfect Circle and Pussifer. Awesome show where the bands would play 4 song sets and then switch to the next band. This repeated three times. The stage had all three drum kits setup on an elevated stage with lounge seating for the other bands to hang out and listen while the other bands played. Primus still has the goods. If you look closely at center stage you can see Les Claypool wearing a pig mask playing upright bass for the final song where all three bands were on stage together.

Second show was Fishbone opening for Madness. I did not have this show on my radar but you know who did, Whit. He happened to be in town for a day or two and thankfully dragged me out to see the show. It is always great to hang out with Whit. Show was good. Madness was on point and can still bring it. There was this musical interlude before the encore.

Funny thing is the family already had plans to see the Red Hot Chili Peppers in VA Beach for our son's 16th birthday. Why RHCPs? Son’s favorite guitarist happens to be the man in the band. Fun fact, I first saw them back in 1989. Never thought a child of mine would want to see the same band I saw 35 years before. And based on the bands use of drugs, never thought they would make it that long. 

Since the show was in VA Beach I knew I would see Whit prior to this show. But it was great to have E and him join us, although sitting in the parking lot for an hour to get out of the lot was painful. Two shows with Whit! RHCPs still sound good 35 years later.

Next show was a change up from the usual rock, punk, funk wheelhouse of mine. I went full bluegrass and took a flyer on Billy Strings. His band was not a typical band setup, he played without a drummer and the drumming beat was not missed. Great show, great long jams. You got to go and see him if you get the chance.

My son has been spoiled when it comes to seeing concerts. He has seen bands at big venues or festivals. I kept trying to get him to go see shows at smaller venues but always got the teenager “I am too cool to go to a show with the old man” push back. I finally got him committed to two small venue shows.One pushed to next year (J Mascis aka Dinosaur Jr. fame) and the other is a post-punk band from Leeds, Yard Act. I had been wanting to see them after the first album but missed the chance.

I had no idea what to expect but the 7 piece band delivered in the cozy 500 person venue. They were loud and full of high energy. It is not too often you see back-up singers dance in unison as part of a post-punk band. But it worked and got him to see the light on how awesome small venue concerts can be.

The last show of note I will bore you with was MJ Lenderman & the Wind. If you like dad rock with some pedal steel guitar and extended versions of the songs, then jump on board. Hell, Rolling Stone Magazine ranked it their third best album of the year. Another small venue show that rocked.The extended jams scratched my jam band itch while still giving off the indie rock vibes. It might be hard to see him in a small venue going forward but worth a flyer if you have the time. It will be interesting to see what happens with his primary gig with the band Wednesday, another indie emo darling.

Back to that Swedish death metal band, Opeth. I have never seen a death metal band, so I wanted to see how bad the GA section would be. Turns out the upper balcony GA section at the venue only had seats and everyone sat through the whole show. Not very death metal to me.

Maybe we need to have a G:TB concert outing. Someone pick a show. Or just go see a local show. It is good therapy. At least for this guy.

Merry Gheorghemas!

The Twelve Days of Gheorghemas: Day 5

On the first day of Gheorghemas

Big Gheorghe gave to me...

Five roadsters you can and should buy right now

FORE! An overdue update on LIV & the PGA Tour

Three Ways of Coping

Stories from two three strokes

And much needed hip mo-bili-ty

I'm the car guy here and I haven't written much about them this year, so for Gheorghemas I'm giving you five very cool, very unusual classic or near-classic roadsters that are available right now for less than $25,000.  For the uninitiated, roadsters are convertibles with two seats, ideally they are rear wheel drive so you can slide them around.  The most enjoyable are often underpowered but very light and nimble so you feel like you're going fast even when you aren't and you can't get yourself into too much trouble (with the law or with trees and houses).  I love roadsters and you should too.  Hopefully one will strike a chord and you'll buy one and let me drive it.  I know the only chord these will strike with Dave will be dissonant, and I eagerly await his screen against cars in a post about books, pickleball, sports injuries, and/or body hair.

1. 1992 Pitcrew Eunos Roadster 

There's a joke among car guys that Miata is an acronym for Miata Is Always The Answer, which should be your response to when people say "What car should I get?"  Mazda sells it as the Eunos Roadster in Japan which is a little too close to Eunuch Roadster for my taste, and probably why it's a Miata here.  There is a very special Eunos Roadster for sale at Japanese Classics in Richmond.  Some genius took a 1992 Eunos and made a few go-fast mods, grafted onto it what appears to be the front end of an AC Ace, then remodeled the interior with steampunk flair (including some Heuer stopwatches, looking at you Danimal) and slathered the whole thing in British Racing Green.  

Your local Mazda dealer should be able to service it, my 1993 Miata got over 30 MPG as a daily driver and was a total hoot to drive, you won't see another one, the removable hardtop is a sweet perk, and they're asking $22,495 but I'm confident you can do better than that if you try.  Good luck finding more smiles per mile, practicality and uniqueness at that price point.  It's divine.

2. 1985 Morgan 4/4 1600

Much less practical than the Eunos but similarly green is this 1985 Morgan 4/4 1600 available at Duncan Imports' Christianburg VA location.  I've written about Duncan Imports before, and I've written about Morgans many times.  I'm not going to pretend that this is a purchase you make with your head--it's all heart--but it has a Ford engine so you can convince yourself that at least part of the car should be easy to service.  Just look at this thing though!

It has a hood strap!  And a Dog On Board sign!  With enough scuffs and dings that you won't worry about getting rock chips when you drive it.  Smiles per mile off the charts and you will rule your local Cars and Coffee.  They're asking $24,777 but the interior should be reupholstered so use that fact to chisel them down.  Seems like Mr. KQ, rob and Marls should go thirdsies on this given their love of fragile British sports cars and relative proximity to it and each other.

3. 1970 Siata Spring

I've never heard of this manufacturer before, let alone this model, and that doesn't happen often so you're practically guaranteed to never see another Siata Spring at your local car meet.  Like the preceding two cars on my list it's a green two-seat convertible, a formula that always piques my interest, and they're only asking $8,500 for it.  The car is located in Hillside, NJ which explains why they photographed it in front of a dumpster.  Bring in by my house after you pick it up and we'll go for a spin.

Unfortunately it combines the most awkward aesthetic features of an MG TD and a VW Thing, it has a Fiat engine, the engine is mounted behind the rear axle, and it has no seat belts.  But it takes 25 seconds to hit 60 MPH so maybe you won't need seatbelts?

It's in remarkably good shape and I doubt anyone wants it so complain about the rusty underside, offer $5k and see what happens.  This might be a great shuttle to and from the beach for our man in the OBX. 

4. 1984 Fiat Spyder

Another Italian car?  Powered by a Fiat engine?  Yes and yes!  One of the cleanest Fiat Spyders I've ever seen is currently available at Classic Auto Mall in Morgantown, PA.  The color combo is divine--Azzurra Blue over tan leather and cherry wood--and the rock guards on the headlights are fantastic.  

This car is so nice that as I'm writing this zdaughter came over and said "Ooh, that's a cool car!  I like the color.  Let me see the inside.  Ooh the steering wheel is so cool!"  So that's proof this thing is legit because she knows her stuff.  The Enkei wheels are too 1998 for my taste but the car is only $16,500 so budget another $1500 for more suitable rims.  Leverage that grievance while you're trying to get them down to around $13,000.  Most Fiat Spyders were mechanical and electrical basket cases so they wound up abandoned and unloved, you typically see them rotting away in a garage half covered by a tarp or under a tree behind a service station.  They are not valuable so no one spends the money to restore them, which means this one was doted on and loved for 40 years.

5. 1969 Datsun 1600 Convertible

You may recall that I learned to drive in a 1986 Nissan Sentra.  The family stable also included zstepfather's beige 1984 Datsun-Nissan Sentra, a rare and not-at-all-coveted car with dual badging from the crossover year where Datsun rebranded itself.  A much much better Datsun is the 1600 convertible.  Just look at this magnificent beast--you know I'm a sucker for pastel yellow convertibles, and this one could fit inside Whit's WCSAGD Impala.

Look at that hood scoop!  And the chrome scallops around the headlights!  And the dog dish hubcaps!  It's in Jefferson, GA which is about 30 minutes outside of Athens, so couple the purchase with a trip to a football game or a concert.  They're asking $12,000, the ad says "Runs very well" and they're throwing in a new top.  And it's a '69.  The whole thing drips charm.  One of us needs to buy it, probably whoever else drips too.

6. BONUS ROADSTER - 1991 Lotus Elan Turbo

I know Day 5 calls for five things but this is Gheorghemas and it was my understanding that there would be no math.  So there are six roadsters today.

There are two versions of the Lotus Elan.  The first was made from 1962 to 1975, is rob's WCSAGD, and is considered one of the all-time greatest roadsters, serving as the inspiration for the aforementioned Miata.  The second was manufactured from 1989 to 1995 and is also an awesome roadster but was considered heretical by Lotus's tweedy cultists because the powertrain was sourced from Isuzu and, even worse, it's front wheel drive.  To those cultists I say "Lighten up Francis."  

The 1991 Elan for sale in Springfield, MO is a beaut.  Just under 16,000 miles, red over black, it's a study in perfect proportions.  It appears to be shrinkwrapped over the wheels--there's practically no overhang.  As a result almost all the weight is between the axles, exactly where it ought to be, resulting in what was lauded at the time as the best handling front wheel drive car ever.

It just barely scrapes under our $25k limit at $24,900, but good luck finding another British roadster with modern electronics and a reliable engine in crisp condition at this price point, let alone one that won't fishtail in sloppy weather.  Less than 5,000 were made (and only 800 had the turbo engine like this one) and less than 600 were shipped to the US so you probably won't see another one at the Dairy Queen.  Parts may be scarce but I suspect the boys in Norwich will take care of you, and you should be able to get the Isuzu bits online.  

Now go get a roadster!

The Twelve Days of Gheorghemas: Day FORE!

On the foreth day of Gheorghemas

Big Gheorghe gave to me...

FORE! An overdue update on LIV & the PGA Tour

Three Ways of Coping

Stories from two three strokes

And much needed hip mo-bili-ty

Let’s start with this. Please pass along to your local media, friends, family – it’s important. The PGA Tour and the PGA of America are two separate and distinct entities. They have very little to do with one another, yet I still to this day see major news outlets confuse the two. It’s a gear grinder. 

For my well-being, I include each org’s logo here. Incidentally, the PGA of America in recent months revamped theirs. One of the reasons apparently was to help the world differentiate the two entities, spurred on largely as a result of the LIV/PGA Tour reporting. 

Old PGA of America logo, the one you are more likely to be familiar with…

PGA TOUR: The PGA Tour is the principal organizer of professional golf tournaments in North America….included in the PGA Tour includes the Champions Tour (old guys) and Korn Ferry Tour (think “Double AA”). To become a member, that is a player on the big boy Tour or Korn Ferry Tour, the player must qualify to do so. Those on the PGA Tour represent the best players in the world. Pro Golfers as opposed to Golf Professionals. The PGA Tour puts on tour events, they also own and operate a few properties – TPC Sawgrass the most famous followed by TPC Scottsdale, but also TPC Potomac Farms (formerly "TPC Avenel", & TPC Boston to name a few. If you see a property with “TPC” on the door, that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s owned and managed by the Tour…they have quite a few licensing deals out there, many more than ownership. They are headquartered in Ponte Vedra Beach, Florida, in state-of-the-art new digs that were scheduled to open right in the middle of COVID. The reported spend on this building, one of two, was $90M. Its twin sister, situated door, opened a few weeks ago.

The facility is amazing, really. Only a couple of months ago I was able to finally get the 5-cent tour. Among the highlights are the best gym you’ll see anywhere, an EDR to match, and a control room that contains most of the camera controls for its tournaments. Huh? Yeah, next time you watch a Tour event, know that the great majority of the cameras are being operated from this building by guys and girls standing at their desks hundreds of miles away.

The newer and separate building that just opened will house all PGA Tour Media productions. They are not effing around. Why do I include this info? If you’ve been paying attention and I know that you have, you’ve added up the fact that the plans for this campus were born well before the existential threat of a competing tour came to be. 

Professional Golfers’ Association of America – a non-profit membership organization, one of the largest in the country with upwards of 30,000 members, comprised of Golf Professionals who work daily to drive interest and participation in the game – Golf Professionals as opposed to Pro Golfers. Should you walk onto the premises of a golf course, several staff you’ll encounter are members of the PGA of America. The PGA of America do own and operate a few big golf tournaments, but only a few including the Ryder Cup when held here stateside, the PGA Championship, Sr. PGA Championship, and Women’s PGA Championship. They own no properties, not anymore anyway. Up until a couple of years ago, they did own Valhalla. They are headquartered in Frisco, Texas.

(As an aside, the PGA Tour was born from the PGA of America back in Palmer’s and Nicklaus’ haymaking years. You can learn about that here)

Now that we’ve cleared that up….what’s up with the latest LIV/PGA Tour news? Not much, not much at all, at least that’s fit to print. We’re almost a year and half post Commissioner Jay Monahan’s announcement that LIV & the Tour were going to merge whereby a “framework” agreement would be hammered out near year-end ’23. That hasn’t panned out to plan. Once 2023 came and went, the Tour took on an equity partner, SSG – Strategic Sports Network. SSG is fronted by Fenway Sports Group/John Henry – some of you know them as the owners of the Boston Red Sox, Fenway Park, Liverpool FC, the Pittsburgh Penguins, the New England Sports Network (NESN), and a NASCAR team among other cool little toys. Lots of swingin’ d*cks in this ownership group including Bron Bron, Steven Cohen of the Mets, Arthur Blank of the Falcons and others. With a $3B commitment and an initial $1.5B infusion, the Tour has / is restructuring such that its players will become equity stakeholders in a new, for-profit entity. Dollahs will also be invested into other facets of the Tour including, allegedly, the possible acquisition of golf properties. The news release at the time stated that PGA Tour Enterprises, “allows for a co-investment from the PIF (Saudi Arabia’s Public Investment Fund, chaired by His Royal Highness Prince Mohammed bin Salman – pictured here while watching a homosexual, or possibly an adulteress being stoned to death…feel free to add you own captions) in the future, subject to all necessary regulatory approvals.”

The greatest accomplishment to date in the opinion of many is Monahan’s retention of his livelihood. Regardless of what his opponents say or believe, the guy is a survivor. To refresh your memory:

-Well prior to LIV becoming LIV, it is reported that the Commissioner ignored multiple calls from LIV (LIV was hoping to formulate a more friendly relationship that avoided a scenario where the two were competing with one another)

-October ’21 – plans laid out for a new golf league with Greg Norman as its CEO

-March ’22 – LIV announces its 2022 8-event schedule – PGA Tour denies its members permission to play. ‘Twas expected the Tour would grant waivers for those wanting to play. Wrong – the tour viewed LIV as a rival series and therefore felt they were within the rights to lay down the law – “No LIV for you!”

-June ’22 – Mickelson commits to LIV – others include Dustin Johnson, Sergio, Kevin Na, Ian Poulter, Lee Westwood

-June ’22 – LIV holds first event in London – 6-9 people see it on TV

-Monahan resorts to referencing the Saudi’s and their involvement in 9/11 as a deterrent to his players jumping ship

-LIV finishes it’s 8-event season with abysmal ratings - @ 80,000 viewers on average

-PGA Tour ups its purses for ’23 schedule to better compete w/LIV

-June ’23 announces its merger w/LIV; proclaims a framework for the two orgs will be in place by year-end

-Announcement sets off a shitstorm among Tour Players, especially those who were tempted to go to LIV for a big payday but chose not to out of a sense of loyalty. Suckers.

-“Framework Agreement” progress lacking…progress

-Dec ’23 – Jon Rahm hops over to LIV (theory being, from LIV’s perspective – “you’re going to slow play this….okay….you slow play, we take your best player”

-Enter SSG/Fenway Sports Group in January ’24

-Tour has lost Farmers Insurance, Wells Fargo, Honda, Shriners Childrens Hospital, Royal Bank of Canada (RBC Canadian Open & RBC Heritage), Sanderson Farms, as title sponsors – all have chosen not to renew their commitments (at roughly $14M/year per title sponsor – ouch!)

-PGA Tour rendered diluted, viewership drops

-Since then, Monahan’s pay has continued to rise, reported $23M in ‘2023 ($14M in ’21; @$7m in ’20)

-Quietly, a small RIF is underway within PGA Tour HQ (Reduction in Force), with several middle level folks losing their job

The key bullet above – SSG/Fenway Sports Group. Take a guess - who employed the Commissioner prior to going to work for the Tour back in ’08? Good guess. Look at the big brains on GTB!

So where do things sit? No one outside of a few situated in Ponte Vedra Beach knows. What is known is that viewership is down, purses are up, subsidized by Tour coffers, title sponsors are fleeing, and one would think more will decide not to re-up come their turn. Committed to is $3B by SSG – How will they get a return on their investment, because they’ll be expecting one. And I’m guessing the $200M’ish their new office space cost was not paid for in cash.

Having watched 15 minutes of LIV play on the telly, in total, I’ve had my fill. I just can’t. I will say that I do have interest in seeing an event in person. At the right venue, it looks like it could be a good time. But those venue options are very limited. Any great club or resort in the US is simply not going to entertain hosting a LIV event at least in the short term. 

What could work – a fall series of LIV events, or a series sprinkled in throughout the year. I’ve seen on the YouTube from a couple of golf podcasters a theory that the Tour may intentionally be letting some of these sponsors go, freeing up time in the schedule to make way for non-Tour events. It’s an interesting theory, plausible. Incidentally, I write this while on a road trip taking me to a few properties, one of which has been a long-time PGA Tour venue, an important one. I shared this theory with the client – he has heard the same. Also, the puppeteers had allegedly been waiting for the election to come and go before determining next steps and any announcements. The Depart of Justice will need to weigh on this in the near future. With DJT now at the helm, an announcement is expected to come fairly soon. We shall see.