Thursday, April 13, 2023

New Squirrel Just Dropped

There are a couple of kinds of clickbait that I'm constitutionally incapable of resisting. We've already talked about animal videos here. And I'm a sucker for the military parent returning from duty away from home to surprise their kid. This week, another headline showed up in my field of vision, and sucked me right in.

Look at this gorgeous little ripper!
Three words, my friends: wooly flying squirrel.

Kristoger Helgen is the chief scientist and director of the Australian Museum Research Institute in Sydney. His description of Eupetaurus cinereus, a newly discovered species of Himalyan squirrel is pretty great, and very scientific - he calls it, “one of the strangest ways to be a mammal.” [For what it's worth, Helgen says the same thing about Inland Dave.]

In the early 1990s, a researcher named Peter Zahler from the Wildlife Conservation Society found a single example of a wooly flying squirrel in remote Pakistan. Since then, the scientific community has sought to confirm the existence of an animal thought to be extinct.

It got a little weird for minute. As The Washington Post writes, "Helgen and Stephen M. Jackson pored through preserved specimens that had been collected in the wild and placed in museums around the world. They compared skins, skulls, teeth and penises."

Okay, man. Whatever. 

All that obsession with rodent genitalia paid off, though, as an international collaboration eventually determined that three unique species of big-ass flying squirrels are confirmed to exist. These sumbitches are more than three feet from nose to tail, weigh more than five pounds, and are capable of soaring from one mountain plateau to another. They also poop prodigiously, more than 900 pellets per 12 hours. Badass.

I know what I'm doing next summer.

20 comments:

rootsminer said...

We got to get Rob a job. He's plotting becoming a flying squirrel who leaves behind a bounty of poop behind.

I've been doing a lot of brush clearing in the field attached to the dwelling we call Gifthouse lately. I've found several holes leading to underground dens around the property. Yesterday while I was mowing, I caught a glimpse of an orange furry creature (cat colored, but not a cat) heading towards the hole. I did not manage to ID the critter, but the posterior view of its' top half resembled a beaver.

Whitney said...

No jokes there, nosiree

rob said...

worked on a specific pattern of play with my jv girls this week. we have a talented attacking midfielder and a pair of speedy wings, so we worked on diagonal passes to the outside and getting the wings to get the ball to the end line and pull the ball back to runners in the box. that stuff never translates to games right away. except it did. won, 2-0, this evening, with the second goal a textbook version of the thing we worked on in practice. now the kids think i know what i'm talking about. gotta stay one step ahead of them.

rootsminer said...

Congrats coach.

And Whit- you are right. I tried to find a joke in my comment somewhere, but there was nothing.

zman said...

No one laughs at rootsy's beaver.

rob said...

played a team of russians in men's league soccer last night. many of them are former professional figure skaters who own and/or work at a local elite training center. they're athletic, strong, skilled, and did i mention russian. our team is way over our heads every time we play them.

last night, though, we held our own for the most part. lost, 6-2, but only 1-0 in the second half. mid-way through the first half, one of them fouled the shit out of me, then argued the call. i laughed, and it aggravated him. i could've chosen not to escalate the situation, but it seems i still have some vestiges of the competitive fire i used to have. so i continued to mock him - "big strong tough motherfucker, you, eh?", and so on.

he followed me around the pitch for a few minutes, bumping me, nudging me. while i continued to make fun of him. the ball went out of bounds for a goal kick for my team. i started backing up, and fortunately caught sight of him coming up from behind me. i braced myself, and leaned back into the contact - his chest hit me squarely in the back, but because i was ready for it, no damage.

the referee was nonplussed, and called a foul on the big(ish) russian. at which point i laughed again. and the russian yelled at the referee, who issued him a yellow card - which means in our league that you have to leave the field for two minutes.

the game proceeded without incident, for which i'm grateful.

small victory for the little guy. suck it, putin.

zman said...

I assume you were wearing a Ukrainian flag for a shirt.

OBX dave said...

Rob Russell, Special Liaison for Eastern European Affairs sounds pretty dashing.

rob said...

only in my heart, zed

Whitney said...

Nice, Robbie. Love that shit.

rob said...

you would've recognized me from such virtuoso performances as getting our softball team forfeited for chirping at the umpire while drinking on the bench, among others.

Whitney said...

Some of my favorite memories.

An unrelated Robbie chirp that will go down in (my brain’s) lore…

“Who you gotta blow around here to get the ESPN feed on the TV?”

“Uh… you’re in the Fox box.”

“Ah… my bad.”

Mark said...

Good stuff, Rob. I too am far less (over) competitive than I once was but it still bubbles up from time to time. Always a nice reminder that I'm not completely dead from an athletic competitiveness standpoint.

rob said...

the russians also have a forward who's 6'6", 280 lbs (if i'm being kind to him). he's not very quick, but he's got nifty feet. i found myself marking him more than once. said to him, "this isn't a great matchup for me". he chuckled.

mr kq said...

I "bubbled up" (fantastic term) a wee bit on the W & OD trail this week after an oncoming Dbag roadie (tall skinny dude) had something to say to me. Passed a pedestrian in front of him, plenty of room for this former DC bike messenger to maneuver back in my lane. Turns out he wanted nothing to do with a 240 pounder in cycling tights. Numbers approximate.

Mark said...

Have yourself a day, Austin Reaves.

rob said...

and rui hachimura

rob said...

anyone ever do any bourbon trail tours in the louisville area? planning a trip with friends.

Mark said...

Been to Louisville but never did the bourbon trail. Though the serve good bourbon (and lots of it) basically everywhere in that city. If you stay in the city, get dinner at Proof On Main and hit the Muhammad Ali Museum.

Danimal said...

I get to Louisville on occasion but have never done the trail, sadly. So many good ones.
Along w/Mark's rec, I'd also suggest Jeff Ruby's Steakhouse.