One could draft a fairly extensive compilation of Randy-worthy soccer players from around the globe. The best player in the world, for example, stands but 5'7". Well, he's listed at that, anyway. The legendary Diego Maradona? He's 5'5". Closer to home, the underrated and recently-retired Steve Cherundolo topped out at 5'6". (And USWNT defender Megan Klingenberg is a mere 5'2".) Indeed, the most democratic of all the world's sports makes room for players of all shapes and sizes.
But we come to celebrate a pair of lilliputian talents who have risen (pun!) above in the last few weeks. Both play in leagues outside their home countries, and both shoulder outsized burdens for teams with longshot title aspirations, and both wear the number 10 jersey of the conductor of the offense.
It was huge news at the beginning of the year when Italian National Team member and Juventus star Sebastian Giovinco signed with Toronto FC of MLS. He's the first player of his caliber to make the jump from Europe to North America in the prime of his career. The 5'5" Giovinco (formica atomica, in Italian, and the Atomic Ant to his English-speaking fans) is only 28.
Giovinco hasn't disappointed. Through this weekend's play, his 16 goals are one behind Columbus Crew forward Kei Kamara for the league lead. His hat trick last week led Toronto to a 4-1 win over Orlando, and helped Toronto move to 4th in the Eastern Conference. His combination of skill, speed, balance, and power make him arguably MLS' best player. See for yourself:
In England, Liverpool is widely considered to be on the outside looking in at the Premier League's elite teams, with Steven Gerrard now in America, and no major signings other than Christian Benteke to show for the transfer period. Dynamic Brazilian little guy Philippe Coutinho's performance this season will go a long way towards defining the Reds' fortunes.
The 23 year-old is already playing his fourth season in the EPL, and has shown flashes of brilliance interspersed with periods of indifference (sorta like my professional career, now that I think about it). He's capable of unleashing remarkable strikes from long distance, as evidenced by his 86th-minute game winner in Liverpool's season opener at Stoke. Check it out:
No less a talent than Kaka has tabbed Coutinho as Gerrard's Merseyside heir. Chelsea defender John Terry picked Coutinho as his EPL Player of the Year before the season began. Big, big shoes to fill for a guy who stands 5'7". In the program.
Bite Me, Randy Newman.
Wednesday, August 12, 2015
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27 comments:
We all failed in not acknowledging Mayhugh's admission that he sings about his Murano to the tune of Canyanero. Shame on us all.
Also, loving and rapping along to an old (and bad) Fort Minor song is the most JJ Watt thing ever. He's kind of a douche, no?
i didn't fail anything. said i'd pay top dollar for video of it. the rest of you? yeah, failures.
Mayhuge, do you have a CVT or a traditional automatic transmission? I'm leery of CVTs but they're spreading quickly so maybe they aren't as weird as I think.
The backheel goal by the Dutch keeper is pretty damn fantastic. Search PSV vs. ADO Den Hagg
Rob, you need to search out the new Wheaties beer the next time you are in Minneapolis.
Dave, go wagon or the Tesla Model X.
I need some new music recommendations. Fire away.
wheaties beer? that sounds awful.
the new jason isbell is the best thing going, music-wise.
Rob, I think Squeaky was making was a Jenner joke.
Squeak, I'll post some new music for you soon. Of course, to you, it's probably all old and passe by now.
And you guys don't understand the pressure of expectation big people have on them. Randy Newman, wail on. (If only because satire is all too rare in popular music.)
My wife doesn't work for the cops anymore. She does sales for a large food company. This benefits me greatly as she often brings home free samples. In the last few weeks she's brought home empanadas, blue point oysters and poke tuna. She just texted to inform me she's bringing home duck bacon today. Score.
First day of school down here. Back indoors you little bastards!
Mark, that is awesome. I am mentally applying that tagline to each of the gazillion back to school Facebook posts and what-not occurring over the next few weeks.
Chicago Bandits in GHWBush airport! My last couple two trips I have seen professional softball teams. Winning.
Travel trip #51: this is an obvious one for many, but if you are the master and commander of your travel schedule, always build in an extra day for jic purposes. Hopefully that day won't be needed at which point you change plans, come home early, and take day off.
Annnnd then right on queue, "mechanical issues" on plane designated to take you home.
Cue, queue.....whatever.
We have broken 30 miles on foot in Orlando. Thank you, Fitbit.
Epcot is fun, but you can get dangerously drunk. Had a beer in Morocco, a 22 oz beer in a collectible plastic mug in Germany, and about eleventeen margaritas in Mexico. My friend's family has 13 y/o twins. They were ordered to keep doing the Tour of Mexico ride with the wee ones while the parents had margaritas in La Cava de Tequila. We also ate dinner in Mexico, then watched the fireworks there. I felt only slightly better than the 2 y/o boy I saw earlier that day who vomited a massive lava stream of mint ice cream out of the side of a stroller, and then rolled out of the stroller on top of it, rolled into his side, and then vomited again on himself and the barf pile.
squeak - just spoke to jeff thomas. he says, 'hey to squeak'.
posted on twitter today:
@HillaryClinton
How does your student loan debt make you feel?
Tell us in 3 emojis or less.
this election already sucks cat barf, and we're 15 months out.
Zman - mine is CVT. Many of Nissan's models are CVT - I saw Car & Driver or some other credible publication called the Nissan Altima the most boring car to drive because of the CVT. I have to admit I don't really notice it.
if you sing that comment instead of reading it, it's kinda like being in the car with mayhugh
the bills signed ik enemkpali. of course they did. you go, rex.
I heard he really gets after the quarterback. Oh!! Thank you, thank you, I'm here all week.
The appeal of Epcot is largely the chance to get dangerously drunk. In fact, their most popular event of the year is built around that. I highly recommend the Epcot Food & Wine Festival. A nice way to drunkenly spend a fall afternoon.
we'll be at that very festival in october. it's most excellent.
TR, I love your Epcot story!
It's easy to fall prey to the commercial aspect of Disney, but the sheer scale of the "properties" and the general organization are impressive.
With that said, it's all about lines. Bathroom lines, food lines, ride lines, bag check lines, bus lines, boat lines, fast pass kiosk lines, etc.
Wife and I went from "one and done" mode (the first night) to "take the boys back one more time when they're 11/9 or 12/10). There's definitely a wee bit of magic in these parks.
Agreed, TR. Disney knows what they're doing.
Rob- what dates will you be at Epcot. Depending on the weekend I might be able to make it over.
will be in orlando 10/29 - 11/3. not sure yet which day(s) we'll be at epcot. that'll depend on my daughter's dance schedule. her dance studio does a workshop at epcot with disney dancers.
mark, that is the best news ever. empanadas, oysters, and tuna? instead of being shot at . . . awesome.
i think we are going with the cr-v. only number five on the list, but it looks like we are getting a good deal on a 2014. anything feels like a sports car compared to a 2001 subaru wagon.
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