Thursday, January 08, 2015

We Just Needed An Excuse to Use Disco Clam in a Post

We haven't met Jennifer Viegas, yet, but we like the cut of her journalistic jib.

Viegas, a reporter for Discovery News, dropped this lede in a story headlined 'Disco Clam Freezes Prey with Toxic Snot':

"The disco clam, so named because light flashes from its mirrored “lips,” turns out to be the disco ball from hell. New research has found that the clam’s impressive light show attracts prey, which may be rendered immobile by noxious, acidic mucus produced by the busy bivalve."

But she didn't stop there with the barely disguised innuendo in service of scientific knowledge-dropping. Check out this passage about forbidden (wo)man/bivalve love:

"At first it was thought that the clam might be trying to woo mates, but that sentiment might have been felt more by researcher Lindsey Dougherty of UC Berkeley. She was thrilled when she first encountered the unique clams in a dark, underwater cave during a dive in Indonesia.

'It was on that trip I first saw the disco clam, and immediately fell in love,' reminisced Dougherty in a press release."

We can't really blame Dougherty (or Viegas, for that matter). Ctenoides ales is a funky, funky beast. Dig its light show stylings:



Viegas has been on fire over the past month, riffing on whale longevity, black widow potency, the Large Hadron Collider (!), vomit, and clairvoyant animals. Consider her on the G:TB radar. We can never have too much entendre-laden science writing.




40 comments:

zman said...

The beard on that clam is so big that they should have called it a disco mitt clam.

Marls said...

Rick Dees is working on his comeback song now.

rob said...

your tribe -5 on the road against conference newcomer elon tonight. the phoenix are interesting - don't know much about them, but they played both duke and missouri reasonably close. w&m's coming off its first consecutive 25+ point wins in caa play. ever. tony shaver called them out for being soft against odu, and they outrebounded their next two opponents by nearly 40 boards. i like the hot team. give the points.

Mark said...

Rob- my apologies. I misread the comment featuring 'tattooed warrior'. It was Marls.

TJ- don't let the seemingly abrupt sea change of season 2 of The Wire throw you. Just trust me.

Elon used to be nicknamed the Fighting Christians. That immeasurably better than The Phoenix.

zman said...

Mark is correct about The Wire. Stay the course Teedge. It's a great show. Some people say season 2 is the weakest but I disagree, I think the whole series is evenly good.

Mark said...

I think people are down on Season 2 because its such a huge change from Season 1 on the surface & we're not used to that with TV dramas. It's really good though and you appreciate it more as you go through seasons 3-5.

Danimal said...

Rick Deeze.

mayhugh said...

Season 5 has the weakest overarching plot and setting. It's hard to rank the rest, though I think I liked Season 4 the best. Season 2 start was a bit jarring, but you settle into it.

I just started Parks & Recreation - 2/3 thorugh second season and it is humming on all cylinders. Glad I hung on after most of the very short season 1 was essentially an Office rip-off.

Danimal said...

I gave up early on Parks & Rec b/c of that very statement. Have seen some recent episodes and must say I like it, though haven't dove in entirely.

Now, next week when the wife goes away, she wants me to start Downton Abbey which she watches. I may do so as she is m'lady. (we're 6 or so episodes in to Game of Thrones). Howevahhh....in the words of Bon Jovi, it's my life, it's now or never. I ain't gonna live forever. I just wanna live while I'm alive.

So don't a few of you watch Downton Abbey? Feedback? Shall I obey m'lady or go awol.

Danimal said...

Also - I am experiencing my first ever allergic reaction, to what I am unsure. The left side of my neck and face are littered with what look like zits of a large size, or as I now call them, Z.O.U.S. Lookin good.

mr kq said...

KQ's a big fan. I have watched 2 series in my life -Sopranos and Roots.

4 into season one of Breaking Bad though so I've got that going for me. Which is nice. Wire next in approximately 2024.

rob said...

mr kq's gonna spend his social security check on wire streaming.

Marls said...

Roots? My God you're old. Maybe we can all chip in and get you a Thorn Birds DVD.

Marls said...

It's called puberty Dan.

T.J. said...

Mr. KQ only has a Betamax player.

zman said...

Downton Abbey is cool at first--good acting; sets and costumes that make you feel like you're really watching something taking place in 1920; relatively entertaining stories. But after a while it turns into a latter day Little House on the Prairie--death, despair, dishonor, misery, illness, poverty. But as Jack Twist would say, I wish I knew how to quit you Downton. zwoman and I just started the latest season.

Marls said...

Mrs. Marls is a big Downton fan. She tells me to shut up when I ask how Master Bates is doing.

Dave said...

season two of the wire is awesome-- i learned everything i know about stevedores from that season.

Dave said...

i love saying "stevedores."

Dave said...

also, next time i see him, someone remind me to beat zman's ass for watching "downton abbey."

T.J. said...

do you say out loud what you type? is that like your thing?

Dave said...

anytime i type the word "stevedore" or the words "beat zman's ass," i say it out loud.

zman said...

I hope you wear your Crocs when you come to beat me.

zman said...

Master Bates has it rough sometimes.

mr kq said...

Kunta Kinte was a bad mofo.

zman said...

I dunno, he was pretty soft on Reading Rainbow.

Marls said...

Butterfly in the sky...

Mark said...

Agree on Season 5 of The Wire being the overall weakest but I still loved it due to some major moments that floored me. Season 3 is my favorite.

The wife and I are halfway through Season 2 of Homeland and thoroughly enjoy it.

I've also made my way thru the first 3 seasons of Sherlock and 2 seasons of Black Mirror while running on the treadmill. Both solid shows, though Black Mirror has some pretty, pretty, pretty fucked up episodes. Not all of them but enough of them.

rob said...

flight delayed in minny due to blowing snow. odds i sleep in the airport tonight: rising. odds i drink too many surly furious pints: near certain.

zman said...

Homeland season 3 will piss you off to no end. I'm more than halfway through season 5 of Sons of Anarchy and it's enjoyable. Sort of a Sopranos on motorcycles with less outstanding acting.

Mark said...

I've heard that about Homeland. I've also heard Homeland season 4 is really good.

You'll hate the series finale of Sons. It's a really enjoyable show for the gratuitous sex and violence (even for a cable show) but it loses steam towards the end. As much as I enjoyed the show, I was ready for it to end.

Shlara said...

Guys--you have to read these tweets. You don't even have to know Wizards coach Whittman to find this hilarious

http://hoopdistrict.net/story-randy-wittmans-farting-mastery-wzzntzz-epic-reax/

zman said...

Season 4 is good if you can pretend seasons 2-3 didn't happen

Dave said...

hey gheorghies!

i am going to watch "black mirror" tomorrow night-- someone at work just recommended it today, and now this second rec has tipped the scale . . .

rob said...

gheorghies, hello. the travel gods smiled upon me, and i just landed at dulles. brought the weather with me from the midwest, apparently.

Mark said...

Dave- you'll enjoy Black Mirror though you might be scarred by the first episode.

Danimal said...

Downtown Abbey it is. I look forward to meeting this Abbey woman.

rob said...

the local youth soccer club (of which i'm a board member) just unveiled a new logo. interested in the gheorghies' take on it:

http://loudounsoccer.com/crest/

T.J. said...

today is one of those days where I would like to be able to physically pull Facebook commenters through their monitors, so that i may beat them to near death only to then have them tarred, feathered, drawn AND quartered...then run over by a steamroller a la Naked Gun final death scene

T.J. said...

thanks, robot Aziginanjar Djaya, for those kind words about GTB