Thursday, February 03, 2011

G:TB's Content Has The Same Ratio As Taco Bell's Meat!

You may have heard that an Alabama law firm is suing Taco Bell for false advertising. They claim that Taco Bell's meat is only 36% beef. The rest is filler. You can read about it in detail here at Gizmodo.

Here's a headline and excerpt from a typical story on the topic:

Law suit claims Taco Bell Beef has only 35 percent meat

This ratio of approximately 35% real content and 65% filler struck a nerve with me, it seemed mathematically significant . . . the numbers had a resonance to them, they reminded me of other significant ratios, like the Golden Ratio or the Pareto Principle.


Inspired, I did some research . . . I read Gheorghe: The Blog. That's right, I read the whole thing. Every post. Every long rambling epic by Igor. Every YouTube introduction by T.J. All Mark's picks. The Bills, the baseball cards, the Redskins, the Wizards. Every Gheorghe-mas. Even the CAA basketball stuff. And I counted the words in every post. And I fastidiously tabulated them into two categories: filler and meat.


You are not going to believe what I found (judging by the photo above, I found that Taco Bell uses bunnies for meat, but that is not the case, I just liked the picture). Take a deep breath. Now exhale it slowly. Sit down. Now read the following sentence. The content of Gheorghe: The Blog exactly mirrors the content of Taco Bell meat! We are 35% legitimate content and 65% filler.

We need a name for this magical ratio, which obviously guarantees success in low quality faux-Mexican food and low quality faux-blogging. I like the sound of The Golden Ratio, but obviously that is taken. How about The Meaty Ratio?

I tried to find a YouTube clip of the scene in Cheers where Norm waxes poetically about The Hungry Heifer's "bef" and "loobster"-- neither of which could be legally called by its actual name because of the high filler content-- but I couldn't seem to locate this scene. Perhaps T.J. can find filler for the filler.

-----
Here it is. The exchange begins somewhere around the 7-minute mark of Part 2, but I included all 3 in case you want to see an episode in its heyday.





58 comments:

T.J. said...

Question though, how many levels of filler can we go into before filler limbo? I don't want to be stuck in filler limbo with that annoying foreign bitch.

T.J. said...

Also, this post?

Epic.

Dave said...

eventually the blog will fold into itself, and absorb every "unique visitor" who has ever read it. that day will be very gheorghe.

Dave said...

and don't get used to all this posting-- it's exams now, so i have a lot of down time (i.e. time when i should be grading exams).

Igor said...

Norm: Yeah, Cliffy had himself the "Ton O' T-Bone". For less than four bucks you get 24 ounces of USDA Choice "bef".

Cliff: Bef? No, you mean beef.

Norm: Beef? Don't be ridiculous, Cliffy. That stuff is "bef". You see it's a Hungry Heifer trademark for a processed, synthetic – what – meat-like substance.

Cliff: Oh, no.

Norm: What do you expect for four bucks? You see me complainin' about the "loobster"?

Mark said...

My dream week continues tonight. Luxury box tickets to the new Magic arena for Magic-Heat.

zman said...

How do you determine whether something is meat or filler? Is there a bright-line rule or do you know it when you see it?

Igor said...

They can actually measure the content of the substance for how much is beef and how much is synthetic material. Better leave it to the scientists, Zman.

zman said...

I meant with regard to G:TB posts. For instance, there's no real meat to my Bills rants. But they're long. So what are they?

Dave said...

is that cheers dialogue from memory, igor? if so, i am impressed (in that same way i was impressed when rain man counted the matchsticks).

your bills rants are 87% lean, zman. not bad in the world of g:tb!

Squeaky said...

The Comb-over Ratio?
The Fold Into Itself Ratio?

The sad thing is the percentage need to qualify or be labeled as a beef taco is 40% beef in the mixture.

http://www.goo.gl/1P2xZ

T.J. said...

Cheers clip:
http://bit.ly/ibcTCR

Squeaky said...

Goalies rarely fight in hockey but it happened last night.

Best one and done goalie fight.
http://youtu.be/Y5sdOh7Bcvs
26 seconds in and replay at 1:35

Dave said...

i can't get youtube at work but get that cheers clip into the post! then it will truly fit all the requirements of filler.

Igor said...

That's not actually the correct clip, but I will try to track it down.

Dave said...

how about your dialogue?

Igor said...

I cheated, but I would have been pretty close without the help.

zman said...

Can anyone explain why buying a house is a good deal? The math doesn't seem to add up comared to renting. For example, property taxes are terrible (at least in the NYC suburbs). But I'm not great at math so I may be missing something.

Igor said...

I'm not a genius at this, so take it with a grain of salt. But for a very long time, real estate was the best, most consistent investment going. The price of your house could reasonably be expected to rise while you lived there. Then, when you go to sell, you have a chunk of equity that you can drop into the next place, lowering your mortagage payment substantially. This worked very well for us homeowners in the late 1990's and early 2000's.

These days... who knows? If we truly have reached the nadir of the market, it may once again be a wise investment. Your first mortgage (plus property taxes) may not campare as favorably with rent, but in time, it may save you.

Igor said...

Also, Cheers clips are in this post now.

T.J. said...

Zman, I'll send you all of my work propaganda...

zman said...

Please do. Homeownership makes no sense, at least in this part of the country.

Dave said...

can't wait to get home and see the clips.

you do get to write off property taxes and mortgage interest, which starts to make the math difficult to figure, and you may get lucky with the real estate market, but there are times when i wish i had rented-- although it is cool to be able to do what you want to your place (e.g. new kitchen and greasetruck studios)

Dave said...

plus, i consider paying my taxes my contribution to society (besides brilliant posts like the one i wrote today).

Dave said...

and aren't the taxes figured into the rent you pay, anyway? so your paying the taxes for someone else and not getting the benefit of writing them off. i think they say it's better to buy if you know you're going to stay put for a while, otherwise closing costs will kill you.

T.J. said...

Tomorrow we should post an entire Night Court episode.

Igor said...

And a mortgage calculator.

T.J. said...

Feinstein had some fun ripping Danny Boy today...

Igor said...

This Egypt stuff is getting out of hand, eh? In the spectrum of "skirmish" to "civil war," which end is the current state of affairs closer to?

And is everyone moving out of Cairo and headed out towards Bumfuck? That's what I'd do.

zman said...

I'd move to East Jabib. Lower property taxes.

TR said...

Zman - since my wife and I will have closed on 3 purchases and 3 sales by y/e 2011, you may find my advice wise. Or you may read it as the ramblings of a moron. You'll be right either way.

Home ownership makes sense if you want to plant yourself in one spot for a decent amount of time. Unfortunately, the rule of thumb that staying 5 years meant you would capture enough appreciation to cover the frictions of selling went out the window during the bubble's burst.

Zman, the majority of your concern are attributable to the fact that you can't wrap your head around paying so much for real estate and taxes to live in NJ. I suffer the same thoughts myself. If you want to torture yourself, look at prices in prime suburbs (or more downtown-ish areas) of nice cities like Dallas, Austin, Charlotte or Atlanta. It will make you scratch your head. Especially in Texas, where there is no state income tax (as opposed to 7% in NJ).

I guess my point is that NJ sucks. That wasn't where I planned to go with this missive, but that's where I'm at.

T.J. said...

All real estate is local. I swear I've heard that before somewhere...

TR said...

So if you're gonna make it in NJ, you have to be tough. JerseyTough.

zman said...

You're right TR, you don't get much bang for your buck in NJ (at least with respect to housing ...). But I've done some back of the envelope calculations and it seems like I can rent in the burbs for less per annum than it would cost to own a comparable house, including property taxes and the associated deductions. Housing prices are just fucked up in the tri-state area and I expect that they have to normalize at some point. Throw in the fact that it's hard as hell to sell a house these days, and that I expect my employer to throw me out on my ass in 4 years (along with 90% of the rest of my pledge class), and it just doesn't make sense.

So I'm moving to Florida to live income-tax-free in Mark's basement

zman said...

JerseyTough sounds like a nickname for some Scotch-addled jackass Knick fan.

Igor said...

We just got a contract on the house we're selling. Knock on wood, it will go through... and we are selling it for 80% of what we purchased it for in 2005. Punt in the groin.

And yet, we owned two houses in DC/Arlington from 2000-2005 and did well enough there that we are still in the plus after this bloodbath. Groin massage.

The lesson: don't ask me. Good luck.

Squeaky said...

Zman, you are in a good position of leverage buying a house. You have no contingencies (no house to sell before buying new one). So if you do go down the buying route find one with no furniture in it that you like and then low ball them.

My Jersey two cents.

zman said...

"So if you do go down the buying route find one with no furniture in it that you like and then low ball them."

AWL.

Greg said...

You can't have basements in FL because the water table is too high.

zman said...

Weird. Broka had a water bed in his basement.

Dave said...

TR is right, you have to be really fucking jersey tough when they give you that property tax bill. i own 1/7200th of an acre (back of the envelope calculation) and i nearly shit myself when i saw the bill.

also, the youtube is sucking right now and i can't stream the cheers clip.

Dave said...

google "open letter to roger goodell" or even "letter to roger goodell."

Danimal said...

zman...
i've got a place, for ya...
valentine, nebraska...a nice starter home for about $100k....let me know if interested....seasonal work only; population 2800. you could be the hip kiddie from the city

Igor said...

I did. I got this:

http://www.behindthesteelcurtain.com/2010/10/21/1765463/an-open-letter-to-roger-goodell

and a few like it.


Don't see yours...

T.J. said...

Yeah, Dave, what are you talking about...there appear to be a thousand open letters to Mr. Goodell.

Dave said...

weird-- does google know pages you go to? because when i google it, it is number one (and on the bottom of the page).

what the fuck?

also, no one told me there's a new cake album out.

Igor said...

I think New Jersey has a different Internet.

Dave said...

okay, just went on safari for a fresh google and googled it, it comes up on the first page through yardbarker and on the second page through gheorghe.

wtf?

Dave said...

went on yahoo on safari and it comes up fourth. but it's different in virginia? or wherever?

zman said...

It probably varies based on the number of hits/links and since we're suck a jackass blog even one or two hits/links will make a significant difference in our ranking for our jackass subject matter.

Cake has a new album. I've only heard one song but it's not bad. Predictably, a trumpet is involved.

Squeaky said...

Cake album is decent. They step outside their normal box here and there but nothing to drastic.

And it's no longer available, Cake album, but you can stream for free most of the weekly indie releases at http://www.spinner.com/new-releases#/1

Squeaky said...

@KennethColePR - the fake PR handle has been killing it all day.

zman said...

My building is getting wired for Fios on Monday and Tuesday. I am tremendously enthused. I may record the phone call in which I cancel my Time Warner account and post it here.

rob said...

i should have picked coastal carolina as our team of destiny.

T.J. said...

I just cut my hair Dave-length in honor of that epic post last week.

rob said...

i've seen dave, and i've seen the pictures of your hair, and you've got a few eigths of an inch to go.

rob said...

gheorghe at the auto show saturday night. who wants to go?

http://www.washingtonautoshow.com/public/schedule-events/events/gheorghe-muresan

zman said...

I think I posted that a few weeks ago. The DC auto show isn't as terrible as you would think. Assuming you think about auto shows.