G:TB HQ has been inundated with calls and emails wondering what happened last weekend in the first round of the G:TBCS. We'd like to tell you - we really would. But just as we were set to go live with the first round results, we received a phone call from the 860. The voice on the other end of the line was muffled in an attempt to disguise the caller's identity, but we recorded the following exchange:
Caller: Is this G:TB?
G:TB: Yes. Who's this?
Caller: Nevermind who this is. Just consider me a voice of caution. It's not in your best interest to continue with your little playoff.
G:TB: Whatever.
Caller: It'd be a shame if something happened to your website. We know people. Just ask The Big Lead.
G:TB: Cowherd? Is that you, you douchebag?
We heard a few barely audible curses and then the line went dead. Within minutes, the phone rang again and the soft, sexy, and yet completely professional and exceedingly rational voice of Leanne Schreiber offered a rueful apology for anything that theoretically may or may nor have transpired in the preceding 10 minutes. Ms. Schreiber also pointed us to ESPN's College Football Playoff applet, which in addition to being really addictive and perhaps the best thing ESPN.com has ever done (after playing with it for a bit, imagine how much fun that would be on the field), also renders our little playoff absurdly redundant and Luddite.
In the end, the real culprit (in addition to the bullyboys at tWWL) is a complete lack of caring. We went from fully vimmed vigor regarding the stupid system to complete apathy in the space of 3 days. And, that, my friends, is the fault of the BCS. The only remaining game that matters in college football is still 26 days away. College hoops is on hiatus now, the NFL only plays one game on Saturday this weekend, and nobody cares about the NBA and NHL. The next 2 weeks are a sports dead zone. We'd still be talking about last week's games and making plans to spend all day Saturday stuffing our faces and getting grossly inebriated if there was a playoff. Instead, we're chasing Bobby Petrino's slime trail and digging through Les Miles' trash. A pox on all the NCAA's houses.
In the end, the real culprit (in addition to the bullyboys at tWWL) is a complete lack of caring. We went from fully vimmed vigor regarding the stupid system to complete apathy in the space of 3 days. And, that, my friends, is the fault of the BCS. The only remaining game that matters in college football is still 26 days away. College hoops is on hiatus now, the NFL only plays one game on Saturday this weekend, and nobody cares about the NBA and NHL. The next 2 weeks are a sports dead zone. We'd still be talking about last week's games and making plans to spend all day Saturday stuffing our faces and getting grossly inebriated if there was a playoff. Instead, we're chasing Bobby Petrino's slime trail and digging through Les Miles' trash. A pox on all the NCAA's houses.
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88 comments:
The one thing I've learned about blogging is that when you start a multi-post concept, you rarely finish it.
I know that I lost a lot of public trust when I only published #6-10 in the Top 10 Games of 2004.
And I didn't do the Giants any favors when I only posted part 1 of Tom Coughlin Must Go.
that's a fact, jack. er, jerry. it's compounded by the fact that i rarely finish anything i start in life in general. i'm an awesome ideas guy, but i could use someone with some executing skills in my life.
but the cowherd stuff is completely true.
Looks like the terrorists won.
My "What's Now" list made it all the way to the finals before derailing. I blame the government.
leanne schreiber won. and i'm okay with that.
What was in the finals of "What's Now"?
There better be at least one Red Sox in the Mitchell Report.
i'm quite sure that at least one former sox player will be in the report. you think we'll see any pinstripes? posada's head is unusually large and misshapen.
giambi obviously notwithstanding.
Much like the retarded All Star Game, I would hope we see at least one representative from each team.
I also eagerly await Ron Santo's star turn in "Mad Max: Beyond Fukudome".
hofstra, continuing to do wonders for the caa's rpi.
reports coming out that clemens is named in the mitchell report. please, please, please make it so.
(note to teejay: this is not an anti-yankee thing. it's an anti-fat bastard thing.)
As much as I'd liek to see Clemens in the Mitchell report, I don't know if I could take Simmons' pompous rants afterwards.
ooh, good point. i'd just plan to ignore them. and, frankly, it's a near-certainty that a sox player or two will be implicated, so that should tone him down. hell, he's a huge nomar fan, and i see #5 getting tagged, too.
As I believe you know Rob, I have never liked Clemens, even when he was on my ballclub. I know you don't want to think about this, but what if Papi is on this list? How does the Nation react?
see mlc for my take on papi. i don't know about the nation, but i'd react by putting my head in an oven.
Most spectacular names that could be on there, in order of shock value:
1. Schilling
2. Jeter
3. A-Rod
4. Papi
5. Any of about 20 other guys
jeter tops that list by a mile in terms of the bombshell impact.
Yeah, Jeter in this Report would be fucking ridiculous. However, of these supposedly 80 names, we're probably going to get 40 donkey middle relievers.
I put Schilling first b/c he's been so outspoken--he's a couple touchdowns ahead of even Palmeiro in that department.
Pudge Rodriguez is a given for this list, yes?
you'd sure think so. i think it'll be heavy on mets and former mets, too, because of the radomski connection. shawn green always looked guilty to me.
and whitney might cry if piazza gets fingered. well, so might piazza.
I'm picturing George Mitchell fingering Mike Piazza while Whit looks on teary eyed...and it's horrifying.
Courtesy of Deadspin and the collective sleuthing of the interwebs, the supposed list:
Brady Anderson
Manny Alexander
Rick Ankiel
Jeff Bagwell
Barry Bonds
Aaron Boone
Rafaeil Bettancourt
Bret Boone
Milton Bradley
David Bell
Dante Bichette
Albert Belle
Paul Byrd
Wil Cordero
Ken Caminiti
Mike Cameron
Ramon Castro
Jose and Ozzie Canseco
Roger Clemens
Paxton Crawford
Wilson Delgado
Lenny Dykstra
Johnny Damon
Carl Everett
Kyle Farnsworth
Ryan Franklin
Troy Glaus
Rich Garces
Jason Grimsley
Troy Glaus
Juan Gonzalez
Eric Gagne
Nomar Garciaparra
Jason Giambi
Jeremy Giambi
Jose Guillen
Jay Gibbons
Juan Gonzalez
Clay Hensley
Jerry Hairston
Felix Heredia, Jr.
Darren Holmes
Wally Joyner
Darryl Kile
Matt Lawton
Raul Mondesi
Mark McGwire
Guillermo Mota
Robert Machado
Damian Moss
Abraham Nunez
Trot Nixon
Jose Offerman
Andy Pettitte
Mark Prior
Neifi Perez
Rafael Palmiero
Albert Pujols
Brian Roberts
Juan Rincon
John Rocker
Pudge Rodriguez
Sammy Sosa
Scott Schoenweiis
David Segui
Alex Sanchez
Gary Sheffield
Miguel Tejada
Julian Tavarez
Fernando Tatis
Mo Vaughn
Jason Varitek
Ismael Valdes
Matt Williams
Kerry Wood.
They couldn't leave poor Darryl Kile off the list?
mo vaughn? maybe if cheeseburgers and strippers are considered performance enhancing.
Not that this list should be even remotely trusted, but there are the two Boone boys as I suspected. Though it didn't take a genius to assume those models of fraility and inflated numbers might be on something
TJ...you wanna go ahead and apologize to the Giles family?
Not yet my friend...I do however want to apologize to the Bayless family for being stuck with such an awful, awful son.
I'm watching Skip on mute now cause I'm forced to listen to a hearing on line. I'm toying with the idea of an on-line petition to beg ESPN to fire Bayless and Stephen A. I bet I could get 100,000 "signatures."
Gee, you think the Orioles had an inkling Miggy was going to be in this Report...I think they would've traded him to anyone yesterday for a six pack of Clipper City Red Sky and a ESPN the Mag subscription.
The naming of names is so pointless...it's all sizzle and no steak. Nowhere will they assert that this list contains all of the offenders or that it even attempted to.
A lot of juicing going on in Houston
At 2pm, George Mitchell will also be announcing that he is not interested in the Michigan job...
El Guapo? No! Say it ain't so!
Why have they even bothered to include Ozzie Canseco on this list?
And who the hell is Robert Machado? I mean, there's a pro surfer named Rob Machado but I can't think of a reason why he'd be on this list.
I think Darryl Kile's name should be left on there. Cautionary tale.
Actually, the resuscitation of Bonds' and careers is overshadowed by a fair number of guys on there who have seen their careers impaired by injuries, so there's a cautionary tale as well.
Not sure it takes Dusty Baker and his pitch counts off the hook, but it's interesting to see Prior and Wood on there, knowing what a train wreck their injuries have made their careers.
Wil Cordero has the two-fer, juicer and wife-beater. Nice.
Mark, that's a misprint - it should just read "Roberto".
"Hey guys, I'm on this 'roid list....relax..."
Such a shame to see a good guy like Joey Belle on there.
Joey's got to be awfully ashamed of Albert for tarnishing the family name.
And I have to disagree with Whitney on Kile. Cautionary tale? Really? I think there's enough cautionary tales on that list to give Kile's wife and kids a break.
As for Wood and Prior, its a near certainty that they (among many others) will claim that the use of PEDs was only in an effort to rehab their injuries.
As for Roberto, 'roids are quite possibly the only drugs he hasn't consumed.
Don't you suppose the use of such drugs frittered away at Kile's ticker? Don't you want kids to know that hey, using steroids may be worse for you than getting your name on some report? If I were Darryl Kile looking down on this, I might.
And the minute you start taking people's names off the list you set some kind of shady precedent.
You're right Whitney, nobody has ever mentioned that steriods are bad for you and could result in long term damage to your heart. It's about time the word got out. They should do PSAs about it and stuff.
And another good point about setting shady precedents. MLB has never, EVER done that with regards to steroids.
Okay, Mark, he was a Cardinal so he should be left alone. We get it.
All of the PSAs in the world can't hold a candle to a real-life tragedy spurred on by steroid/HGH/whatever use. Hits home 1,000,000 times more powerfully than some friggin' commercial.
And because MLB's track record is so hideous, they should never aim for higher roads to take? It's the fault of Major League Baseball (read: Bud Selig, Don Fehr, every owner, etc.) that the sport is in this mess, and I sincerely hope nobody thinks that George Mitchell's report takes the crosshairs off of them and puts them more completely on the players. But it's time for airing all of the dirty laundry, and there shouldn't be exceptions.
Thank You Whitney. I'd also like Tony LaRussa's DUI conviction overturned as well.
I agree that MLB should strive for a higher level of self enforcement. However, I think you're naive if you think that this is all the dirty laundry or that MLB isn't going to use this report as a means to try and close the book on the "steroid era".
I won't disagree with you there -- huge differences between what I think they should do and what I think they will do.
They are a herd of mindless jackelopes, fucking up our game one blunder at a time, from steroid ignorance to the Expos debacle to Spider-Man on second base to the winner of the All-Star Game getting home field advantage. Dunderheaded, pitiful performances, all of them.
It's on!!! It's George FUCKING Mitchell!!! AT LAST! We're all winners...
the report is 310 pages, not including exhibits. this may take me a while.
whew. no papi.
no jeter, either. clemens, though, in graphic detail. this thing is painstakingly done.
Yes. It is long. And distinguished.
fernando vina? that might make for an interesting angle for the wwl.
nook logan. wtf?
No one ever said they were guaranteed to make you good. Or even remotely good.
Nook Logan weighs 113 lbs. He's doing them wrong.
I would never accept a personal check from Rondell White.
Newly minted Nat Paul LoDuca has a cancelled check in them there exhibits...
Racist.
That was directed at TJ, not Geoff. But if the shoes fits...
Does the postal receipt in there lead me to believe that Kevin Brown had his roids mailed to Dodger Stadium? That, my friends, is genius.
Racist? Scotch Irish actually...my mother was from Wales.
This is only the second most embarrassing personal check Denny Naegle has had appear in court documents.
Kent Mercker? Awesome! I've officially caddied for someone in the Mitchell Report. I'll be signing copies of the report at the Cosi on Wilson Blvd.
Hal Morris? Really?
You think anyone files a defamation suit? If not against baseball/Mitchell, against the purveyors of the early report? We at G:TB need to list the real report, not just the first edition of guesses. (El Guapo was a giveaway.)
One of my co-workers is perusing - here's who we have so far:
BRIAN ROBERTS
jack cust
Todd Hundley (saw that one coming)
Hal Morris
Rondell White
Roger Clemens
Pettite
Knoblauch
Greg Zaun
David Justice
Mo Vaughn'
Denny Neagle
Ron Villone
Ryan Franklin
Todd Pratt
Kevin Young
Mike Lansing
Kent Mercker
MIGGY TEJADA
Mike Stanton
Jerry Hairston Jr
Paul Lo Duca
Fernando Vina
Kevin Brown
ERIC GAGNE
Matt Herges
Brendan Donnelly
NOOK LOGAN
Gregg Zaun, huh? I guess we know where he got the extra "g" from.
By the way, the Hundley notation was all his...and I removed the 12 exclamation points he put after Nook Logan's name as we covered that already.
Don't forget FP Santangelo and Glenallen Hill...
And Larry Bigbie and Brian Roberts. Teej, you need to include the complete list, dummy.
benito santiago, in addition to sheff, bonds, giambi x2
Hey Whit, you're "working" from home, why don't you get to work on this complete list.
this is soooo the tip of the iceberg. how many guys are breathing huge sighs of relief right now, and how much ribbing will these morons who got "caught" take in the locker room from those who did 'roids and didn't get named? think a few guys on this list might whisper in a few reporters' ears?
Leitch did the work for us:
Below, a complete list of players mentioned in the Mitchell Report.
All the players listed in the section 3B: "Information Regarding Purchases or Use of Performance Enhancing Substances by Players in Major League Baseball" (section 3 is "Radomski¹s Distribution of Performance Enhancing Substances to Major League Baseball Players")
Lenny Dykstra
David Segui
Larry Bigbie
Brian Roberts
Jack Cust
Tim Laker
Josias Manzanillo
Todd Hundley
Mark Carreon
Hal Morris
Matt Franco
Rondell White
Roger Clemens
Andy Pettitte
Chuck Knoblauch
Jason Grimsley
Gregg Zaun
David Justice
F.P. Santangelo
Glenallen Hill
Mo Vaughn
Denny Neagle
Ron Villone
Ryan Franklin
Chris Donnels
Todd Williams
Phil Hiatt
Todd Pratt
Kevin Young
Mike Lansing
Cody McKay
Kent Mercker
Adam Piatt
Miguel Tejada
Jason Christiansen
Mike Stanton
Stephen Randolph
Jerry Hairston
Paul Lo Duca
Adam Riggs
Bart Miadich
Fernando Vina
Kevin Brown
Eric Gagne
Mike Bell
Matt Herges
Gary Bennett, Jr.
Jim Parque
Brendan Donnelly
Chad Allen
Jeff Williams
Howie Clark
Nook Logan
Section IX. B."Alleged Internet Purchases of Performance Enhancing Substances By Players in Major League Baseball"
Rick Ankiel, Paul Byrd, Jay Gibbons, Troy Glaus, Jose Guillen, Jerry Hairston, Jr., Gary Matthews, Jr., and Scott Schoeneweis, and former players David Bell, Jose Canseco, Jason Grimsley, Darren Holmes, John Rocker, Ismael Valdez, Matt Williams, and Steve Woodard."
I consider myself a diehard baseball fan, and I've NEVER heard of this guy:
Bart Miadich
If this report proves anything, its that there are a TON on MLB players whom I've never heard of and couldn't identify if they walked into my office right now.
as the dust eventually settles on this report, baseball's reaction and ability to cleanse itself will be more important than the names. all but one, and i don't say this because i want it to be so, even though i do.
i think this thing sticks to clemens and he and bonds become the poster boys for the "steroid era". and that fills me with gleeful schadenfreude.
i also think this report gets mcgwire into the hall of fame, because there's no way clemens will be kept out, and if he goes in, the voters have no reason to keep mcgwire out. unless they want to look like complete hypocrites.
oh. right.
i didn't really understand the post, but i feel obligated to comment because so many other people have.
lemming
Actually, he prefers to be called "Lemmy."
So, apparently, Ike Turner died yesterday, which I would not have know except for this classy NY Post headline:
"IKE 'BEATS' TINA TO DEATH"
wow. that's...that's...wow.
That, my friend, is the NY Post.
that's an interesting advertisement for g:tb. good to know, i guess.
don't forget to tune in to the appy state/delaware championship game tonight.
My boss just called en route to Chattanooga. Very fired up.
He informed me he will be sitting next to Helmet Head, the shaved-head-Delaware-helmet-painted-on guy, so I should look for him on TV.
ESPN2, for the casual I-AA championship fans.
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