Well, it's a shitty Friday outside, and I'm only here for a half-day, so I thought I'd provide you with the most riduclous story I've seen this week on the interweb. Apparently, a chiropractor in Columbus, Ohio claims he can treat anyone by "reaching back in time to when an injury occurred." I guess these crazy claims finally warranted the attention of the state's regulators, and the chiropractor in question, Dr. Emmet Brown, has some 'splaining to do. Below, the charges against him, and the good doc in his own words, because I couldn't even make shit this stupid up:The Ohio State Chiropractic Board, in a notice of hearing, has accused James Burda of Athens of being "unable to practice chiropractic according to acceptable and prevailing standards of care due to mental illness, specifically, Delusional Disorder, Grandiose Type." Burda denied that he is mentally ill. He said he possesses a skill he discovered by accident while driving six years ago.
"My foot hurt and, knowing anatomy, I went ahead and I told it to realign and my pain went away," Burda said Thursday.
Burda calls his treatment "Bahlaqeem." "It is a made-up word and, to my knowledge, has no known meaning except for this intended purpose. It does, however, have a soothing vibrational influence and contains the very special number of nine letters," Burda's Web site says.
Here's hoping the Libyans finish what they started this time...
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31 comments:
What a shame, I was eagerly awaiting an on-air brawl between Mr. Leaf and Mr. Irvin:
The NY Post reports Ryan Leaf turned down the opportunity to be a draft analyst on NFL Network's NFL Draft coverage.
man, i'm really starting to wish espn had a viable competitor.
OK, was it Stephen A. screaming at Sal last night that bummed you out? Is it all the new Mobile ESPN commercials that make me want to kill someone?
ESPN's is the anti-christ...I used to refer to them as the MTV of Sports, but that comparison is now obsolete.
MTV wishes that it could be as moronic and non-essential as ESPN has become. Other than live sports, the occasionally funny commerical (Albert vs. Croc Hunter, awww yeeuh) is the only thing redeeming about the Worldwide Leader.
All you smart W&M types need to get together in a think tank (read: TJ's basement) and figure out a solution to this.
Any think tanks run by GTB will be held two block up at the Irish Times. Bring juke box money people - they added the Best of Eddie Money recently.
TJ,
Have I ever regaled you with my Eddie Money/Heroin story?
No you have not, but I would love to hear it...
I'll get to it once I wake up this morning. The weekend was a little rough for a heroin story this early on a Monday.
No worries, I am dragging through an extended hangover due to a surprise 30th birthday party for this old guy Saturday night. Excellent work by the FFMD.
Chris Shelton of the Tigers is hitting .556 on the young season. And he looks like Sloth from Goonies.
Without further delay...A friend of mine worked at Gulfstream Park (Horse racing, same company that owns Santa Anita) down in Ft. Lauderdale. In order to attract large weekend crowds, the park would have free concerts each weekend during the season.
Most of these concerts would feature semi-washed up rock acts that could get a large number of 40-50 somethings in the park (Cheap Trick, Allman Bros, Eddie Money). My friend booked the concerts and took care of the requests that each band/artist had. Alot of this was typical trailer stuff (food, alcohol, etc.). She often didn't get the requests until the day of the event.
The day that Eddie was scheduled to perform was just this type of scenario. She went to the store to get some liquor and other assorted items for Eddie and his backup band. Eddie had a seperate dressing room/trailer than his band. My friend delivered the stuff to Eddie's band and then was making her way to Eddie's trailer. For whatever reason, as she entered the trailer and was about to go into Eddie's private dressing room she neglected to knock. Upon entrance into Eddie's trailer, she walked in on Eddie fully rigged up with a syringe in hand as he was just beginning to shoot himself up. My (horrified) friend then blurted out "Uh...sorry.", dropped Eddie's liquor on the nearest couch and ran out of Mr. Money's trailer. I've never been able to listen to Night Moves the same again.
Uh, isn't Night Moves a Bob Seger hit?
Yeah, my bad. I'm glad that my error with regard to artist was the most significant part of that sotry for you.
Yep, I'm a nit-picking dickhead. Welcome to GTB.
And you spelled story wrong in that last comment. Are you mainlining heroin at work?
Uh, yeah. What do you think people do all day in Florida?
TJ...I hope you're sitting down. We lost "Proof" from D12 last night.
Is that the really obese brutha?
Nope. Proof is the skinny guy who I beleive Mekhi Pfiefer portrayed in 8 Mile.
How did he die? Shoot out over a chess match dispute?
I believe the fat guy is Bizarre Kid or something close to that.
Drew, is Peerless Price really back in Buffalo?
Bizarre is the fat guy.
And yeah, I always assumed Mekhi Phifer's character was based on Proof. He was shot at a club on 8 mile conveniently enough, according to what I read anyway.
And with Jeff Capel going from VCU to Oklahoma now, would that be considered further confirmation of the Underground Railroad type structure of schools that apparently exclusively hire black coaches.
Show of hands--who, at one point in their childhood thought the Underground Railraod resembled that thing that Indiana Jones and short Round used to navigate the Temple of Doom?
Ok, and who still does?
Wow. Dick Jauron. Craig Nall. No wonder Ralph Wilson tried to torpedo the CBA.
Oh, and with that receiving corps, sounds like it might be time to give Mouse Davis a call...
Hmm, for thos keeping stats at home...Early 2006 power stats:
Bronson Arroyo: 2 Home Runs
Barry Bonds: 0 Home Runs
(Hand up) Isn't Kelvin Sampson an Indian? Excuse me Geoff, a "wagon burner"?
Peerless Price, Kelvin Sampson and Bronson Arroyo.
Who are three people who have never been in my kitchen?
Kudos to the Kansas City Royals for allowing 5 runs in the bottom of the 8th against the Yankees today, hopefully leading to a 9-7 Yanks victory...
Peerless Price's career track couldn't please me more.
1. Kick FSU's ass in the Fiesta Bowl (Go SEC!). Elevating draft status.
2. Turn supporting role into big money contract as a #1 receiver.
3. Become exposed for the average/below average receiver that he is, resulting in being cut.
4. Crawl back to Buffalo with your tail b/w your legs as Alvin Harper 2.0.
Keep believing that Price can become a #1 receiver. By the way, how much of that $10 mil is guaranteed?
Seriously, who the fuck is Craig Nall?
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