Looking for Fred Smoot to captain my ship...

...the FFMD and I head off tomorrow morning on our belated honeymoon (which hopefully goes much better than this), but I just knew you were dying to see who I was picking this week. The Survey Says...

Saturday January 14, 2006

4:30pm, Washington 10-6 @ Seattle 13-3
You're probably asking why does he even care about these games? Does he have a gambling problem? The answer - 8 guys remained tied in our Last Man Standing Pool as the year ended, and the tiebreaker is to pick all 11 playoff games (no spread, just straight up winners). My guess was 11-0 or 10-1 would win, but 3-1 was the leader last week, and I was one of the six 3-1 guys. Two donkeys went 2-2. Mayhugh and Butt correctly predicted that 9-2 might win this thing, so this is the make or break week, as I think many of these guys will be betting the chalk, as Hank Goldberg might say. Bored yet? Yeah, sorry about that - on to the only game that matters, in this town at least: Skins/Seahawks in sunny Seattle. Oh wait, it's rained 25 straight days? I really wish one of these local stations would let us know that...that kind of information should be repeated 10 times daily. It's the oddest line of the week - Skins as 9 point dogs. That's a no doubt bet on the Skins, but the question remains, can they win this thing outright? Can the well rested Seahawks, undefeated at home this year, run Shaun Alexander behind that massive offensive line and push a powerful Redskins defense around? Will the Skins frustrate Alexander and Hasselback, hang in for 3 quarters offensively, and make the big play at the end because of Seahawk nerves? Will Seneca Wallace be sending in play calls via smoke signals? There is absolutely no pressure on Washington in this game, and even as a neutral observer, I am buying the Joe Gibbs playoff mystique. I believe the Seahawks prove how overrated they are and lose a squeaker to the Skins, causing the Washington metropolitan area to go crazy for the next week...I'm almost sad I'll miss it. Washington Redskins

8:00pm, New England 10-6 @ Denver 13-3
I've said this before and I'll say it again - there is absolutely no way in hell I can pick against the Patriots until they give me a reason to, and last week only made me look at them and ask myself, "Can these guys win another one???" They are ridiculous. I know the game is at Mile High and I know these supposedly aren't the same old Patriots, but Broncos fans must still be scared of Jake Plummer in this game, right? (Broka?) I am chugging the Bill Belichick Kool Aid (ngs), and I've decided Plummer will look confused, awkward and disoriented the entire night. Picture Ruthie from the Real World trying to run the Broncos offense. It is up to Mike Shanahan to figure out a way to neutralize Belicheck's "genius", and I don't see him winning that battle. New England Patriots

Sunday January 15, 2006

1:00pm, Pittsburgh 11-5 @ Indianapolis 14-2
I saw what Jerry Porter said, and I'm sure the Colts have too, but it doesn't really matter, because I firmly believe the Colts will just come out and smoke the Steelers Sunday. Whereas I think the layoff will hurt the Seahawks (inexperienced playoff team hearing for two straight weeks how good they are), the Colts are proven playoff veterans (we'll leave Patriot games out of this) ready to maul an unsuspecting opponent. This offense is ready to explode coming off the bye (hmmm, a tad rudy gay), and the Pittsburgh DBs are in serious trouble. I picture Big Ben getting pummeled by Dwight Freeney and Montae Reagor a few times, meaning Chaz Batch might even make an appearance, and that alone makes this the lock of the week. Looking ahead to next week though is a whole different story, a matchup that if it occurs SportsGuy might write 5,000 words on why Peyton Manning sucks. Indianapolis Colts

Can we take a moment here to ask Zoltan what the hell is going on in Buffalo? They're not seriously considering putting the 80 year old (Tribe Pride) on the sideline next year, are they?

4:30pm, Carolina 11-5 @ Chicago 11-5
I am all over the place with this game. Da Bears, rested, at home, with a superb defense. Carolina, looked spectacular in dismantling the Giants last week, supremely confident. I want to take the Bears, but why in the hell did they go and trash talk Steve Smith. The three worst ideas ever:
1. Getting involved in a land war in Asia
2. Going against a Sicilian when death is on the line
3. Trash talking Steve Smith (also applies to the former pro hoops version)

I know he didn't get in the endzone last game, but he had 14 catches for 169 yards and now you're gonna talk more shit to him? I would say the Bears defensive backs had a tad bit of trouble keeping up with him in the first game, and now this could just be ugly. For that reason, all the positives that would lead me to taking Da Bears are negated - Steve Smith (and Jake Del Homie) lead the Panthers to the road upset, setting up the NFC Title Game, sponsored by NASCAR. Oh man, if that happens...this town...wow...Carolina Panthers