Friday, November 20, 2015

No Money Mo Problems

Just days after the triumphant close of BlazerCon, our very own footie fetishist stops by for a timely look at the state of the Premier League. I, for one, will be eagerly scanning Fat Guy in Speedo's work for commentary on Fulham's hiring of former West Brom manager Steve Clarke to the top spot at Craven Cottage and/or Fulham's inability to lure Clarke to the job. Eighth/Fourteenth place in the Championship, here we come!

After noting Gheorghies waiting for Godave’s post, I figured I’d quickly pop off some more Premier League propaganda in hopes that I could beat Dave’s probable self-promotional post to the proverbial punch. (Editor's note: Dave's post was at once self-promotional and non-existent, as he actually posted it on a different blog. We're not sure he completely understands the modern world.) It’s week 33 into the 86-week season and pundits are already waxing poetic about the incredibly improbable and unpredictable shake up among the leagues traditional powerhouses. The top 4 generally consists of some iteration of Chelsea, Man City, Arsenal and Man United in those positions. However, the leaderboard currently reads Man City, Arsenal, LEICESTER CITY and Manchester United. Note that one of these teams is not like the others. Stop the madness. Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, squirrels riding birds... mass hysteria!

What’s worth noting is that Leicester City is a recently promoted Premier League side, having returned to the top league in 2014 for the first time since 2004, so the fact that they are flying at such heady heights is nothing short of remarkable. In the Premier League, money spent on player salaries generally correlates to a team’s position in the table. The top four salary spenders are Manchester United (£215), Manchester City (£205), Chelsea (£192) and Arsenal (£166). The lack of a salary cap in the MLB makes that league a (luxury tax noted) reasonably comparable model and there the top four wage bills are Dodgers ($273M), Yankees ($219M), Red Sox ($187M) and Tigers ($174M).  The two World Series teams were the Mets are at #21 ($101M) and the Royals ($113M) at #16. What does this prove? Win or lose, owning any professional sports team in the United States is a guaranteed license to print money.

Wait, what about Chelsea? Their poor play is proof that if enough people wish for something worldwide, it will come true. The 2014 league winners have collapsed and currently occupy 16th place (out of 20) in the EPL table. There is no real reason for their decline, the same players, owner, coach and horribly defensive style of play are replicas of what drove them to victory last season. Every week heralds a new low and the players look defeated before play even begins.

Meanwhile, Leicester City play with total positivity and attacking abandon, they are like an injury-laden Notre Dame team without the international support, coffers or Showtime series. They have come from behind several times and never show intimidation regardless of the venue. Check ‘em out this weekend, I’m sure if you do based on this post you will be rewarded with an incredibly dreary 0-0 defensive draw. In other sporting news, does anyone really think that a one-defeat Notre Dame team will get trumped out of the playoffs by whatever crap team climbs to the top of the turd tower that is the Big 12?

I was at this game.




See you on Boxing Day! Dave’s post should be up by then.

Additional editor's note: says here that Tottenham Hotspur will claim one of the Prem's four Champions League spots. They haven't lost since the season's opening match, and they boast one of the youngest and most athletic lineups in the league. Plus, they have guys with fun names, like Dele Alli, Erik Lamela, Toby Alderweireld, Hugo Lloris, Moussa Dembele, and Harry Kane.

90 comments:

Danimal said...

whaddup? mark this day down in your calendar. for starters, momentous things in the world of one particular company in the biz of golf.
but more than that, the guy from the spin doctors began following me today. #blessed
#hefollowsmorethan100kpeople #littlemisscantbewrong #chrisbarron #ifuckinghatewhenpeopledothishashtagthingontwitter #rememberwhenmyspacebarwasbroken?

Danimal said...

additionally, nov 19th - 1st time in 2 years (dec '13) the jaguars notch 2 victories in a row. whaaaaa?
#afcsouth #ungood #4oftheworstteamsinnfl #playoffpotential #mustard

rob said...

you gonna give us a little more on the momentous news, danimal?

zman said...

D'mal on a tear!

The first time I tried to type "tear" I got "twat" instead. Much different sentence.

rob said...

also momentous, though

Danimal said...

will tell ya later. maybe. depends. probably not though. no chance.
#infotease #justjokin #ofcourseilltellyalittlebuddybutontheqtemailstylebutnottilofficialdontwanttojinxanythingyaknowdawg?
that's the last of my #'s for a while, so appreciate that one

rootsminer said...

I saw the Spin Doctors around 1992, and the singer had a schtick about how "Yeah" was such a great word.

The money line in that speech was "You want a bong hit? 'YEAH!!!'" Really brought it home to the crowd.

Dave said...

waiting for godave! that's funny.

Clarence said...

Spin Doctors were the classic underground college buzz band with a few catchy songs (Little Miss Can't Be Wrong, Jimmy Olsen's Blues, Two Princes) that then got way, way, way overplayed and everyone crushed them. Singer's annoying as crap, that doesn't help.

I actually liked a song that came out after the ebb of their popularity, a 1996 tune called Used to Be Mine. Doesn't hold up to lyrical or musical scrutiny, and thge video is grating, but it was a guilty pop pleasure.

There are a few one-hit wonders who have much lesser known tunes that I prefer to the hit. Maybe a post in there. Postcount!

Mark said...

Greg's Dad looks just like the lead singer of the Spin Doctors in his wedding photos. Now he looks like a caveman.

Johnny O'Bryant is a first team Troy O'Leary All Star. He's also yet another in a long, long line of talented big men out of LSU (though most have had limited NBA success). Has any middling CBB program so consistently produced athletic, talented big men? Not in my recollection.

rob said...

i wore out the spin doctors' 'pocket full of kryptonite' (and arrested development's '3 years...') while traveling up and down the east coast being fratty for a living. still have a soft spot for that record.

Whitney said...

L E I C E S T E R
C I T Y
B A B Y

zman said...

I saw the Spin Doctors at UVa in 1992 with a bunch of baciagaloops from my freshman hall including everyone's favorite ER doctor/Wheel of Fortune pimp. A mosh pit broke out and some poor bastard has to be carted out on an immobilization board. UVa goes hard for the Spin Doctors.

rootsminer said...

A mosh pit at a Spin Doctors show? 18 year old zman went to a Spin Doctors show? My head is spinning at both of these revelations.

If you need further insight into the character of our fine mayor here in the Star City, this blog recounts what he is like as a court appointed defense attorney. About as sorry as he is at mayoring. http://davecheatwood.blogspot.com/2014/11/esteemed-mayor-of-roanoke-attorney.html

mr kq said...

"Gap Integrity" has vaulted to my #1 seed when it comes to sports talk dipshittery phrases. Now ya know.

Clarence said...

I thought gap integrity was wearing a condom.

zman said...

Mind the gap. Integrity.

Squeaky said...

Ah, the good old Spinner Doctors. I think I have the CD EP in one of the many boxes full CD's in the basement.

Trump all for gap integrity.
https://vine.co/v/eUg9teiBPa5/embed/simple?audio=1

TR said...

18 y/o Zman also went to a rave. With 17 y/o me. In Virginia Beach. With fratres Hashem and Kyle, who drank a pint of whiskey while driving down I-64 while one of us was stuffed in the trunk of their hatchback (if I remember correctly).

Everything in that last paragraph seemed totally normal at the time, but is terrifying in retrospect. The event was a sadness factory. I think it was something like this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p6203oIRC0I

Marls said...

Rootsy should run for mayor of Star City. Clarence and I will be your campaign managers.

Marls said...

GAAP integrity?

rootsminer said...

Last time Clarence and I got together in the Star City, some things may have happened that disqualify me from office.

I'm horrified and highly amused by TR's rave trip memories.

Hashem was a raver - never knew that.

Whitney said...

So this is weird. Recent renovations in our pad, have some wall space I wound't mind filling with some framed concert posters. Against all odds, I wondered if on the net somewhere was a concert poster from the R.E.M. show at W&M Hall in 1987. Just did a Google search, which inadvertently led me to this post, which features TR in the comments talking about a road trip to a rave in Virginia Beach with Zman and the Tri Lams. Eerie, dude.

Mark said...

You drank on your way to a rave? Was nobody familiar with what happens at a rave?

T.J. said...

The Gap (Integrity) Band?

zman said...

The rave of flailure came up another time.

http://gheorghe77.blogspot.com/2010/05/sometimes-world-explains-soccer.html

Squeaky said...

In other words, TR has a new recurring post about raves.

Whitney said...

It appears that's "rave" in the singular, squeaky.

TR said...

While we're on the topic of raves and repeating comments, here's where I'll be tmrw:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p6203oIRC0I

zman said...

Why do you keep posting the link to the video of Daves zumba class?

rob said...

halftime in gainesville, lady gators lead the tribeswomen, 1-0, in a second round ncaa tournament soccer match.

rob said...

full time, florida 5, w&m 2

Mark said...

Take that, Nerds!

Also, if you're not listening to WRTJ (W Run the Jewels) on Beats1 radio on Friday nights, well...correct that shit.

Clarence said...

Gheorghies, . . . hey.

T.J. said...

Hi gheorghies. Watching rocky 4

Clarence said...

Spoiler alert: Adrian is a debbie downer.

Danimal said...

Michigan State getting 14.5 points. I'm taking the points with glee as well as a flyer on the money line.

Marls said...

Why the fuck is UNC playing at Northern Iowa today? I know that Cedar Rapids is beautiful this time of year and all...

Mark said...

That line started at 13, Danimal. I took it too but I'm worried about what seems like such an obvious play. Vegas ain't that dumb.

Danimal said...

Yeah....they know somethin.

T.J. said...

Tribe take on Dayton today...win this one and I'll start figuring out their first round opponent in March.

Marls said...

As a long time Tribe supporter, today has all the earmarks of a huge letdown.

Danimal said...

I took UNC today too, giving 3.

Marls said...

Spidey taking advantage of tribe penalties and turnovers. I've seen this one before.

mayhugh said...

Field goals aren't going to do it against Richmond. They've gotten 2 turnovers and the defense has been fairly stout, but that won't last all day.

Mark said...

You getting Cotto-Canelo tonight, Mayhugh? I'm leaning that way. A little bummed it's not a title fight anymore but I think it will be highly entertaining.

Als, I love Antonio Callaway.

Mark said...

Well, that wasn't the level of stress I was looking for in my afternoon.

rob said...

tribe had a real shot against the flyers. losing by 3 in dayton is nothing to be ashamed of.

rob said...

missing 9 of 19 free throws is kind of worth being annoyed about, though.

Whitney said...

Turns out Marls wasn't just smelling his own body odor. It was indeed the stench of Tribe letdown. Two losses on the day for the Sons of Sam Sadler.

rob said...

wait, florida had to go overtime to beat fau?

rob said...

leicester is now top of the table after 13 weeks. nice, whitney.

TR said...

It might've been partially his body odor...

TR said...

I see what you did there, Rob. Games certainly broke well for Man U. And Claudio Ranieri (sp?) certainly has shown us something. He's gonna get our by somebody next summer.

TR said...

our, paid, whatever.

Marls said...

Just did a very slow turkey trot. If it wasn't BO before, it is now.

rob said...

south cackalacky lost to the citadel? somewhere, the boo is sipping a tall glass of whiskey and smiling.

rob said...

fat guy didn't mention leicester's jamie vardy, who scored their first goal today against newcastle. it was his tenth consecutive premier league match with a goal, tying ruud van nistleroy's record. sick and ruud.

rob said...

did we know they were remaking point break? vaya con dios.

T.J. said...

Indeed

mayhugh said...

Mark - yeah, think I'll get it. My wife and her grandmother plus a lot of wine = I need a distraction. I think Cotto more skilled but I think Canelo learned his lesson during Mayweather about allowing the other fighter to control the style of the fight. Canelo's been through some pretty tough fights but nothing compared to Cotto. I blame Margarito and his potentially packed gloves on taking something out of Cotto that I'm not sure he ever got back. I think if it goes the distance Cotto will win but I just don't see Canelo allowing Cotto to work at his relatively slower pace. I think Canelo will be able to get inside and his chin is one of the best in the business. My prediction would be a Canelo win on KO/TKO in the 10th or 11th round.

mayhugh said...

The only way to remake Point Break is to make it INTENTIONALLY campy (this time). But that has recently been done, and done relatively successfully with 21 Jump Street and the sequel. From the cast listed, I don't see them going in that direction (I'm getting a Jem and the Holograms vibe from the IMDB page). The only way I could see it getting my attention would be if it had Keanu playing the Angelo Pappas/grizzled vet role. I mean, that's a $100M revenue movie right there.

Teej - post suggestion for you if you haven't written to it before would be to address camp done wrong vs camp done right in movies. You could even focus it on Snakes on a Plane (the former) vs the Piranha remake (the latter).

mayhugh said...

Mark - if you get the fight, pay particular attention to Rigondeaux bout on the undercard. My favorite non-GGG/Kovalev/Chocolatito fighter out there. Best counterpuncher in the business.

TR said...

I too did a Turkey Trot, Marls. Was happy to slog thru 5 miles, considering I'm less than six weeks from finally healing from a plantar fasciitis issue.

Still working on getting weight categories instead of age categories.

TR said...

No way MSU makes this kick.

Danimal said...

Sparty.

TR said...

Good for that kicker. My kids are repeating his preposterous celebration dance all over our house.

TR said...

Who's the Heisman front-runner? Derrick Henry by default?

Mark said...

I think it's been Henry for a week or two, TR. Baker Mayfield isn't far behind and could definitely sneak ahead if Oklahoma runs the table.

Mark said...

I'm at a surprise birthday dinner/party for one of the Bizzaros. I plan on drinking. Heavily. Then using the fight as my excuse for leaving.

TR said...

What was over/under for Baylor/Ok St? If it's less than 90, it's too low.

Mark said...

My one rule this year for CFB betting has been to take the over in Big 12 games.

rob said...

we all just let poor tr hang like that for 3 hours? top notch dickery.

rob said...

my daughters decided they wanted to fight me when we got home after a too-large mexican meal. i kicked their no-skill asses. we've got some work to do. need to at least teach them how to shoot the leg and throw a half-nelson.

Mark said...

I've reached my breaking point with Team Bizzarro. I like them. They're nice people but it's just too much. I need to go home to my quiet living room and my comfortable couch and tasty bourbon. Soon.

rob said...

hokies got full on boned in that overtime. game winner was clearly not a catch.

rob said...

just poured myself a glass of basil hayden's on the rocks, mark. cheers to you.

TR said...

Ezekiel Elliott's soon-to-be agent is pretty bummed about his player's decision to whine about carries.

And I can't believe there is a Fox halftime trio of Leinart/Wannstedt/Stone.

TR said...

Molly McGrath seems nice.

rob said...

twitter *hates* rigo. mayhugh is so underappreciated.

Whitney said...

Riggo?

rob said...

nah, everyone loves riggo

Whitney said...

Hey Rob, Ian is contending that Crowded House is "awful" and demanding I change it. I told him I was telling on him to you.

Mark said...

Um...Oklahoma?

Mark said...

Christian McCaffrey is fucking awesome. He'd get my Heisman vote.

Danimal said...

Hi g's

Marls said...

Hi Danimal.

Marls said...

Where is davekin?

Clarence said...

Yo GTB money

rob said...

fucking ian