At first, I just found this an amusing visual, and I tweeted something about the Wolverine remake looking terrible. But then my muse struck (also, Zman texted me - perhaps he is my muse). There's more to here than meets the eye.
Both Ted Cruz and Logan (Wolverine's real name) were born in Canada.
Neither Cruz nor Logan use their given first names. Logan's real name is James. Ted's real name is Rafael.
Logan has an adamantium skeleton. Ted has a spine made of tinfoil.
Logan is moody and misanthropic. Ted is creepy and people feel misanthropic when they are exposed to him.
Logan killed his birth father. Cruz's father killed John F. Kennedy.
Wolverine eviscerates bad guys with his retractable claws. Cruz elbowed his wife in the head. Twice.
Logan also killed his childhood friend, Rose. Cruz is widely believed to be the Zodiac Killer.
Wolverine is devoted to Professor Charles Xavier, a brilliant scientist. Cruz is devoted to our President*, a venal, bloated, corrupt embarrassment.
It all seems clear when you put all the pieces together, doesn't it. Ted Cruz really shouldn't wear a beard.
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The best part about Cruz’s beard* are the gray wispy pieces he uses as a combover to hide the big bald patch on his chin. I’ve never seen a beard combover before.
Dave’s beef jerky comment from last night was amusing. I had a few beers and joined my friends at the Badfish show. Which is always fun. Didn’t go at it too hard, and got 10 hours of sleep.
I feel like I saw people like Ted Cruz at W&M. And thought they were smarmy douches but tempered that thought with one of “maybe I’m just sour grapes-ing because I’m a drunker slackard.” But no, those people like him are smarmy douches.
I am ashamed to admit this, but my winter beard (which started before Xmas and will last until a Spring Break family vacation in April) looks more than a little like Cruz’s. While I have no need for a chin (or double-chin) combover, I have a moustache that has no interest in connecting with the other parts of my beard. I have to let it get long and push the hairs toward the cheek hairs. All in all, it is still a decently swarthy look, but I’m no Saul Berenson from Homeland.
I’m bearding it as well, since the day after Christmas. No more Abe, I can get rugged any time of year I want.
Also, the chicks apparently are not into beards any more. Or me. It’s the beard, right?
My nearly 7 year old daughter has never seen me without a beard. When/if I eventually shave it’s going to fuck her head up.
Danimal- to your comment about me building a post on my wife’s first husband. Yeah...that’s not happening. I’ll gladly give you the scoop when we finally meet though. And he’s already on wife #3. And that’s a while sordid take in and of itself.
Since accepting my impending baldness and shaving the dome years ago, I’ve had only one look, the Brian Posehn/Wooly Willy shaved head and beard. And though it’s not the greatest of beards, it’s never going away.
I think we’ve got some fellow podcast fans on here. Has anyone listed to the Aaron Hernandez pod?
bearded here, as well. it's reasonably fulsome, but it's grey as hell. i look like adam vinatieri. kick like him, too, apparently.
My Wife #3 is out there somewhere.
Chargers defense... what you’re doing with the Patriots... I’m not seeing it
what a drag this game is.
on my second beer and damn it tastes good.
i get to travel to columbus, ohio tomorrow where i will see a high of 29 degrees, low of 16 during my 24 or so hours there. it's 70 here today. i'm sure you all feel for me.
i have an ex brother-in-law who married my oldest sister, kelly. it was his 2nd marriage, her first. he just ended his 3rd marriage and is a real son-of-a-bitch. pretty sure when he was putting my sister through hell that my dad contemplated some pretty dark shit. let me rephrase that - i'm not pretty sure.
also, to the culinarists (new word), i bought a sous vide a month or so ago and have used it only sparingly - 2 steaks, lots of hard-boiled eggs, and something else that i can't remember. getting ready to do salmon. will keep you posted. let's call it a "(not so) hung jury" for now.
Lagunitas, btw
epic new park the bus post up!
http://box5689.temp.domains/~parkthe3/new-paltz-with-no-kids-a-study-in-words-and-photos/
i took some amazing wildlife photography. tj knows.
Dave is the next Ansel Adams
Dark shit, eh, Dan? (Raising right eyebrow)
The rule change in the NFL where the blowing of the whistle does not actually stop play, per se, because consequences of possession that occur after said whistle matter... it seems utterly fallible. You can get a 15 yard penalty for doing certain things after the whistle. You’ve been taught forever to play until the whistle. You can’t fix all the referee errors. Some of them you just have to live with.
And this crew is very glad this game is a laugher. They aren’t really bringing the goods today.
My shits are usually dark.
I just made my way through Dave’s Dear Diary post at Park the Bus. I have known for nearly two decades that Dave’s mental age is 91. This post is among the clearest exhibits of evidence in support of that fact.
I had rec basketball at 830 and baseball winter workouts from 12-2. Came home, did my marinading and settled in to watch a great football game at 230, w/ an aggressive DVRing agenda. That game was shite. And I’m on the wagon this month, so have no idea what the hell to do.
Sobriety is boring.
This Nick Foles Fenomenon is something else, man
Teedge is right and it’s annoying.
Saints are a fucking dumpster fire right now
Drew Brees was clearly boozing on Frenchman Street last night.
Burkhardt/Davis is the #2 Fox team? Happy that there’s no Moose Johnston and no Siracusa wandering the sidelines looking homeless, but can’t believe this is it.
Exactly.
Those w younger kids, are yours into this bloody slime phenomenon? It makes me absolutely mental. If they are not currently into it, but ask for it, just say "no".
TR, I was thinking the same thing. It wasn’t that long ago that Kevin Burkhardt was roaming the cheap seats at Citi Field interviewing Mets fans.
And Davis used to be on the Golf Channel.
Folds reminds me of Napoleon Dynamite.
Ben Folds?
my kids have aged out of the slime phenomenon, danimal, but it was real here for some time. good luck with that.
Such a good call on Folds Danimal. And Uncle Rico best character ever.
“If coach would’ve put me in we would have won States.”
Best character since Lazlo Hollyfeld
There’s a lot of fucking slime in my house these days. One of my kids favorite Xmas presents was a gallon of glue.
Does Carson Wentz have smallpox?
Big ones too.
Foles! Auto correct.
zson got a dragon egg for Christmas, which is really a hunk of plastic that you crack open to find bloody slime embedded with knockoff legos that assemble to form a dragon once you get all the slime off (I guess the slime is supposed to be embryonic fluid). I will not buy one again. It’s a mess and now I have even more small hard sharp shards of plastic on the floor.
Romo is very good about instantly seeing what teams are doing and how the other side needs to counter it. Usually, none is obvious to TV viewers, and his insight gives us greater perspective into the real-time chess match on the field.
Charles Davis likes to narrate video replays real time, like we're blind. "See what Lattimore is doing there? He's getting his hand in the way to deflect that pass. Oh, I take that back. It was just a drop."
No shit, asshole. I have eyeballs too. How about you tell me something that's not obvious?
I loved Romo asking Nantz if he listens to Big Boi, and then Nantz responding that he does when he works out. I want that to be true.
Who’s calling the Super Bowl?
we need a new post at the top of the page
this ted cruz pic is creepy
Agreed!
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