Thursday, November 01, 2018

Vamos DC!

When we last looked in on DC United, the Black and Red had nearly completed an improbable climb from the cellar of MLS' Eastern Conference into a playoff berth. As our man TR pointed out in a comment yesterday, Ben Olsen's squad summitted that particular mountain, and stands poised tonight to take one more remarkable step.

Luciano Acosta loves GTB
DC United not only made the playoffs, they secured the fourth seed in the East and will host the Columbus Crew in a knockout match this evening at the resplendent new Audi Field. DC finished the season 12-2-1 at their home venue, now colloquially known as Fortress DC. (Just go with it, man.) The opening of the new park and its near-immediate transformation to a significant advantage for the home side was a major element of United's worst-to-fourth run.

United's opponent, Columbus Crew, has had its own drama this season, most of it off the field. Owner Anthony Precourt announced his intent to move the charter MLS club to Austin, TX, which touched off the #savethecrew movement. Just a few weeks ago, the league announced that an ownership group headed by Cleveland Browns owner Jimmy Haslam was purchasing the team and keeping in in Columbus. Carpetbagger/scumbag Precourt is getting an expansion team in Austin, so nefarious scheming still pays in Trump's America.

While the #savethecrew drama was playing out, Crew head coach Gregg Berhalter (the extra 'g' is for Gregg) is widely rumored to be the next head coach of the US Men's National team. His live man walking story may have contributed to the Crew's stumbling finish to the season. They went from solidly within the playoff safe zone to needing help to qualify, losing seven of their final ten games.

DC United, meanwhile, won seven of ten, so they're the form side.

But as Olsen says as part of a much better preview than this hastily-dashed-off drivel (seriously, don't fact check this fucker), "“It’s better to be in form and getting results, but in the end, it doesn’t matter. You have to show up on Thursday, be the better team, and make the plays that make the difference.”

Roll the balls out, let 'em play. Vamos DC!

56 comments:

zman said...

I can’t believe how much I’ve spent on LOL dolls over the past two weeks.

TR said...

!Vamos Rob!

With work and kid sports, I will struggle to watch much of this live, unfortunately.

Whitney said...

Carpetbagger/scumbag... now that’s double-bagging

Never been to Austin but it’s on the list


Whitney said...

Grabbing a quick bite at the bar of nice restaurant before class. Cheesy mf near me hitting on a pair of women and they are loving it.

Dude: It’s like that song, you gotta wear sunglasses because things are too bright. You know that 80s song?

Woman: That ZZ Top song Sunglasses at Night?

Dude: No, not that. This is called You Gotta Wear Sunglasses Because Things Are Too Bright. Different song.

Woman: ohhhh... I don’t know. Yeah.

Me: [fucking dying. just fucking dying]

Dave said...

the timbuk 3 song?

is anyone else working hard on doing the "invisible box challenge"? i just learned about it today, but now i want to perfect it. it's really hard and my right quad is sore.

Squeaky said...

The future's so bright, I gotta wear shades.

Wasn't the "invisible box challenge" last summer? That's a long time to be on one quad.

Squeaky said...

And DC headed to OT? Where is Rooney.

Marls said...

Zoltan in for DC

TR said...

This match just got real fun. Nick of the Lion!

TR said...

Pour some out for Dr. Z. I have fond recollections of being an SI subscriber throughout most of my youth.

rob said...

oh, boy

Marls said...

Rooney is no Zoltan

rob said...

that was anticlimactic, in terms of the season’s arc

TR said...

Yes. Bummer.

In related news, my 9 y/o has taken one penalty kick this fall (last Sunday) and took one last spring. He managed to put both off the crossbar. Such an inconceivable turn of events for an 8/9 y/o. All he has to do is put it anywhere near a lower corner and he will get it past a kid w/ a pinney who got stuck playing goal for a half.

So he will have some empathy for Ponce de Leon, who blew it during PKs.

zman said...

I’m overserved. It took all of my powers to avoid passing out in the uber.

TR said...

You should’ve puked out of it. All the cool kids are doing it.

Whitney said...

Would you have passed out IN the Uber or ON the Uber?

rootsminer said...

Breaking this down should ensure lively conversation to last all day.

zman said...

I would've physically passed out in the Uber. Like "Whitney was so drunk that he passed out in the Uber and drooled all over the seat."

Passing out on the Uber would be more of a metaphysical thing. Like "Whitney was so drunk that he passed out on the Uber and never even made it outside to meet the car."

rob said...

'whitney was so sloppy that the driver tied him to the roof, where he remained passed out ON the uber for the duration of the ride.'

Marls said...

Anybody else think that “invisible box” is a game that Cat made up to get Dave to leave her alone?

Whitney said...

Whitney prefers Druber

rob said...

any of you clowns accountants, or play one on teevee? i'm struggling with an argument regarding the incremental value of a new dollar of revenue and how to allocate fixed versus variable costs in building a pricing model. i'm throwing out lots of accounting principles, but my finance team has an advantage on me, in that they know what they're talking about. i have righteous indignation on my side. which is always fun, but not always effective.

TR said...

I took Intermediate Accounting at W&M. It was the “weed-out” class for potential acccounting majors. I bricked the midterm. I then sat down w/ the professor, and asked for help. He looked at me and said “Tim, you’re swimming in the shallow end. We’re all out here in the deep end. I need you to swim out to me.”

I graduated as a Finance major.

Squeaky said...

"Buy high, sell low." That should win them over.

zman said...

I've built my practice entirely on righteous indignation.

Marls said...

You should ask MBA Whitney Druber

Dave said...

i can't wait to say that to a student. that's amazing.

rob, you should use an algorithm.

TR said...

That was Prof Bill Geary, an elitist douche who reveled in the fact that W&M had a highly-ranked undergrad accounting program. The way he ran that program encapsulated everything I loathed about the undergrad biz school. I’m pretty sure Zman and I commiserated about this in our boxers while smoking cigs on the outside stairs of Unit M about 69 times.

zman said...

TR knows me too well. I was going to say something about the accounting major but didn’t want to be dickish. TR baited me. Accounting majors thought they were hot shit. Makes no sense, they wind up counting someone else’s money. Biology majors were the coolest.

Mark said...

Might be time to blow up the Wizards.

And we all know history majors are the coolest.

rob said...

that’s right, mark

Whitney said...

Sociology. This blog fascinates me.

zman said...

“The Deep End of Accounting” would be a good name for a fascinating blog.

Mark said...

I think Bama- LSU is a completely overrated rivalry at this point. Bama owns LSU. I don’t think tonight’s game will be close. In fact, I’m guessing that Northwestern-Notre Dame is the closer game tonight.

Danimal said...

I am staying away from an LSU Bama prediction, but on the latter you are correct. If I wasn't rooting for ND, I'd put a small flyer on NW moneyline.

Mark said...

Huge fumble recovery for UK. Another UGA TD and this game may have gotten away from them quickly.

Mark said...

Would be cool if Florida was interested in playing some defense today. At least I’m outside drinking in a beer garden in fall weather.

rob said...

new poll in texas has beto tied with cruz. i can't even begin to get my hopes up for that race. cruz is gonna win. but goddamn would seeing that smarmy cocksucker lose be a salve on a few of the psychic wounds of the past two years.

rob said...

tribe soccer beats delaware, 3-2, in the caa tournament quarterfinals. tr's recent comments about their head coach apparently bulletin board material in the 'burg.

Mark said...

Rob’s thoughts on the Texas gubernatorial race are my thoughts on just about every state race in Florida. This state is (largely) racist and crooked and I have little faith the majority will elect those who are otherwise.

Mark said...

Alabama is a wrecking ball and LSU’s offense isn’t good. That was the basis for my comments/prediction earlier today.

Mark said...

I was wrong about Notre Dame though.

Mark said...

Two Gators are starting for the Capital City Go Go. I need a shirt...

TR said...

Team TR road-tripped to West Point to see a fun Army-Air Force game today w/ FOG:TB Jay S. Great environment, plenty of amazing foliage on the drive up, and a very good Army team to watch.

Beautiful little part of the world.

rob said...

we're gonna have a mini-summit there at some point this winter. we'll get you some gear.

rob said...

jay s as in saunders?

rob said...

and west point is fucking gorgeous any time of the year. i bet it's particularly so now.

Mark said...

I already wanted a Go Go shirt because it’s a fantastic fucking name and Go Go is a cool sub regional subculture of music but having my boy Chiozza running point pushes it over the top.

Mark said...

If you haven’t already it’s time to direct most of your attention to Oklahoma-Texas Tech.

Shlara said...

Hello Coach Kliff

Mark said...

Not gonna disagree with Shlara. Kliff is pretty dreamy.

rob said...

just watched the final episode of the first season of ozark. holy shit, y'all. that's some amazing television.

Mark said...

This Texas Tech-Oklahoma game is bananas. Even by Big 12 standards.

Mark said...

Oooooh yeah. Ozark definitely left you wanting more.

Danimal said...

Hello Gheorghies