Monday, August 21, 2017

Official G:TB Eclipse Open Thread

Car and Driver called it one of 1992's ten best vehicles, "an honor earned by giving the enthusiast as fine a combination of value, good looks, and tummy-tightening performance* as could be found anywhere at any price." The experts lauded its "explosive acceleration [and] all-wheel drive stability" in a separate piece.

*Some of you might look around your local area to see if you can scoop one up, if you catch my meaning.

No less an automotive authority than our own Zman lauded it, saying "fantastic cheap thrills, so much so that by 1999-2000 high school kids bought all the good used examples and slammed them Fast n' Furious-style".

And today, millions of Americans will take the better part of the afternoon to celebrate them.

We speak, of course, of the Mitsubishi Eclipse, manufactured by the Japanese automaker from 1989 to 2001. Says Zman, "The all-wheel drive turbocharged GSX was way ahead of its time. The engine's counterbalanced cam shafts were a game-changer. Porsche took a license to Mitsubishi's patent so they could do it, too."

Earlier this year, Mitsubishi announced plans to resurrect the Eclipse name on a compact crossover called the Eclipse Cross. This didn't go over well with our resident gearhead, who noted wistfully, "The early-to-mid nineties were a golden age of fun, cheap ponycars. Now high school kids aspire to SUV ownership. Sad!"

This renewal of the brand, we're sure, has something to do with the current spate of eclipse-related publicity. Enjoy today's automotive celebration safely, but do enjoy it.

39 comments:

Squeaky said...

Wait noone is commenting on TR's cornhole link, in the last post, to a blog post written by a female 25-year janitorial supply industry veteran for 'Sanitation Maintenance'. There is something meta there.

I hope you all have "Total Eclipse of the Heart" on endless repeat today.

rob said...

i watched a bit of that bags tournament. they were good, but only thismuch better than our best.

zman said...

I have "Black Hole Sun" on repeat.

zman said...

And you know we're desperate for content when the best we have is an interview-by-text of me about a 25-year-old car.

rob said...

don't sell yourself short, z

Danimal said...

My boy K Lynch had the Talon within this same segment of auto outputs. Or was it the Eclipse? It had some giddy up fer sher.



Mark said...

My wife took the kid to school today and only 6 of 18 kids were present for school today. The high school student successfully negotiated her way out of school today. Our local school system has granted excused absences for all students today. Seems a little much for this eclipse. Maybe I'm just an idiot. Anywho, we're checking the young one out of school early. I took the day off. Not because of the eclipse but because that's my move post a weekend away. The eclipse is kind of cramping my style. Kids are around, gym was crowded. I should've planned better.

But I'm having a couple beers by myself at lunch so it's not a total loss.

Mark said...

I should've clarified that it was 6 of 18 kids in my kids class, not school. We don't send our kid to the school from Little House on the Prairie.

Danimal said...

going to crack open eclipse beers in 3...2....1

my wife took my two girls a week or two ago to get their nails done. don't judge. they had pedicures done as well. they are now totally into massaging my and their brother's feet. I've since showed them how to give a proper massage....they'd almost rather give treatments than watch tv. it's....awesome.

Danimal said...

Looks like we took the kids out of school to watch a fuck ton of clouds. Awesome.

zman said...

Our summer intern just said I look like Paul Newman. I think she meant Alfred E. Neuman, or maybe John von Neumann (to whom I am actually distantly related), or even Newman from Seinfeld. But Paul, no, that's a bridge too far.

Whitney said...

Randy Newman, perhaps? Not Johnny Newman, pretty sure.

rob said...

paul stanley?

zman said...

Johnny Neumann, actually.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Johnny_Neumann

TR said...

Got in an argument w/ the missus this morning. She wanted to keep the kid from his 10:30 AM to 12 PM soccer practice b/c of the eclipse....which was scheduled to hit NJ at 120 PM.

No eclipse beers for me, but my regular train beers are in effect. I tried Hop Devil IPA. It is awful. Reminded me why I used to hate IPAs. IMO, hops need some citrus to balance the palate. I don't get the pure hoppy beer taste. But I'm still drinking it, of course, because beer in hand.

Danimal said...

So uhh...Lindsey Vonn/Tiger Woods leaked nude pics are out there, or so I heard. Guy can't get a break.

Just received a text from my next door neighbor who drove to Anderson, SC this wkd for the eclipse. Apparently it was awesome. His text this morning though, not so much... "You wanna know how bad the traffic is? We're still in SC after 6 hours of driving..." DAGGER!

rob said...

took my daughter's caravan 13 hours to get from greenville, sc to northern va. really glad that wasn't me.

T.J. said...

One of my employees left last night around 9pm from SC...emailed me at 830 this morn, as she got home. I told her to sleep all day, and we'd see her tomorrow.

TR said...

Up all night, sleep all day...

rootsminer said...

We took our kids up to the totality zone in Western NC. Of course to up the ante we made them carry backpacks 6 miles up some large mountains.

Clouds gave great shade atop the bald mountain all morning, then cleared away in time for the main event. It did not disappoint - one of the most awesome things I've witnessed.

We hoped our six mile hike down would let some of the traffic dissipate. Eight and a half hours into our five hour drive we finally made it home.

Totally worth it. I'm thinking of a vacation to Mexico for the one happening in 2024. That should be enough time to find a place with a good view and an avocado tree in the yard.

zman said...

There was an eclipse yesterday?

rootsminer said...

That's what I hear

Squeaky said...

The 2024 eclipse will hit the northern part of VT. I'll take the family up there. Great outdoors and beer. Can't go wrong.

TR said...

Another mid-day sidewalk concert outside my office. One non-blonde woman is singing a Four Non-Blondes song. She's really putting her hearty and soul into it. Pretzel vendor 15 ft away seems unenthused.

Whitney said...

TR wakes in the morning
And he steps outside
And he takes a deep breath and he gets real high
And he screams from the top of his lungs
What's going on?

TR said...

Picture listening to it from a distance w/ a singer that does not have the pipes to sing that, while you are trying to finish your TPS reports.

And I'd bet 69 Schrute bucks that Whit did not need the web for those lyrics.

Mark said...

It's officially high school volleyball season. Get psyched for multiple nights a week for 6-8 weeks of mediocre (at best) volleyball.

T.J. said...

The NBA Offseason is ridiculous

Mark said...

I love the NBA. I may have to go to Boston for a Cavs-Celtics playoff game next season.

rob said...

in

TR said...

I don't like the trade for the Celts. No decelopment for Brown/Tatum as Kyrie, Gordo and Al dominate the ball. Kyrie may opt out in two years.

I can't wait to listen to 19 podcasts from Simmons on the topic.

zman said...

Yooooodge day here.

Mark said...

I disagree with TR. I think this is the rare blockbuster trade that both teams can feel good about.

As for Boston, it's clear they didn't want to give IT the max coming off a major hip surgery and going into his 30s. Horford is not ball dominant and I don't see Hayward as very ball dominant either. Kyrie is another story but I think Ainge is betting on Stevens to get Kyrie to fit into a great culture that he and Ainge have built. Kyrie being 25 also fits the timeline of the Celtics as well. Also, I think both Brown and Tatum will have plenty of opportunity to develop without being forced to be go to guys early.

It will be fascinating to see this trade play out on both sides.

Mark said...

Hip injury for IT. No surgery. Not yet, at least.

zman said...

I'm going to try and work "ball dominant" into my corporate work-speak.

rootsminer said...

Zman is always looking for a way to climb the corporate ladder...right back down to the gutter.

Mark said...

Might want to avoid that, Z. Seems fraught with HR issues.

Danimal said...

I'm left ball dominant.

TR said...

The Kaepernick demonstration was across the street from my office (catty corner, to be precise). It was the same corner (NE corner of 51st & Park) where my beloved musicians perform all week. There was more than four non blondes at the demonstration. And zero blondes. Po po was out in force, but stayed away. The process was peaceful, albeit militant.