Thursday, July 17, 2014

Xmas Idea

Never to early to think about Xmas gifts, so I present you with something that is retro-chic that will be a real conversation topic at the next summer BBQ you attend.

Behold the New Guinea Penis Sheath. This one appears to be the Pedro Guerrero size.


42 comments:

Danimal said...

2nd day this week I failed to put some drawers in my gym bag. #commando

Swam in the ocean today at sun-up. Was glorious until sea life of some kind decided to eff with me for a spell. Have been scraped/bumped many a times - this was different. Was sceered.

zman said...

You should've worn a penis sheath!

TR, are you wearing a Vineyard Vines penis sheath to this evening's New England clam bake?

Danimal said...

Is it a New England Bearded Clam Bake? ha ha ha lolz

Mark said...

Is the clam bake in your neighborhood, Z? You people get together quite a bit. I could never live in a neighborhood like that.

rob said...

back in the good ol' u s of a, sans penis sheath. guess i shoulda looked more closely at the duty free merchandise.

zman said...

I expect the "Penis Sheath" tag to get plenty of usage. Wear that thing out!

Mark, the clambake is at our local pool. I'ma just stay in and bake that clam at home, namsain? It was just our anniversary.

rob said...

scored myself a netherlands away world cup jersey at schipol this morning during a layover on my way home. it's pretty sweet.

Mark said...

Is that the blue jersey? I like those.

Mark said...

Wife took the kids up to Jax Beach to visit her best friend for the weekend. I'm celebrating my independence by hitting the gym for happy hour. Big, boring loser right here.

Rusty Cage just came on the radio though. Sweet.

rob said...

it is the blue one. i dig it. it's the second authentic jersey i own, after my muresan wizards jersey. which, come to think of it, he may never have actually worn.

TR said...

Official friend of G:TB Juan Carlos is a mber there as well. It' a dumpy place where you can drink under the guise of letting your kids swim.

Madras pants will be in full effect, as will be lobster rolls and papal elections in the parking lot.

Mark said...

Ok, now I'm in on the TR/Zman neighborhood. Ignoring your kids whilst drinking and electing? Sign me up.

rob said...

broke out a little of the german i still remembered from high school while in switzerland. today, managed to order breakfast and almost had the transaction completed when the cashier, thinking she was talking to a german speaker, launched into a complex set of questions. i just kinda stared at her and looked dumb. yet another woman disappointed by me.

Mark said...

Guy in front of me in line at the grocery store untucked his shirt & was eating his chicken wings. Any longer & he would've cracked a beer.

rob said...

say hi to clarence for me, mark

Mark said...

On the jersey topic. I don't own many. I have a Larry Bird Indiana State jersey and an Arsenal Thierry Henry long sleeve. Used to own a Pete Maravich New Orleans Jazz jersey until I sold it to some kid on Twitter last year.

All three of those were purchased 8-10 years ago. Don't know if I would buy a jersey these days with the exception of something along the lines of what Rob did today.

Clarence said...

Riggo 44
Darrell Green 28
Julius Erving 32 Virginia Squires

I don't think the jersey t-shirts count but I have a Dee Dub 5 and a Ghitza 77.

Would like a Mookie 1 and a Reg Dunlop Chiefs 7.

Mark said...

That Squires jersey is choice. Passed up the chance to buy it years ago. Regretted it ever since.

TR said...

Clarence wins with the Squires jersey. Beats my Namath jersey and my Rooney Man U jersey (w/ AIG as sponsor).

To clarify on the pool party, no kids around. It's an evening thing.

Mark said...

Even better, TR. Kids suck.

zman said...

The Giants beat the Pats in both SB only because I was wearing a Gary Reasons jersey. My Aaron Boone Yankees tshirt served me well living near Fenway. My Don Mattingly jersey received grudging compliments in Boston.

Mark said...

I own to tshirt jerseys. Phil Hughes and Joakim Noah.

The list of the jerseys I would buy:

Ozzie Smith ( vneck and powder blue)
Jack Youngblood Florida jersey
Vernon Maxwell Florida jersey
Marvin Barnes St. Louis Spirits Jersey
Mark Hughes (this guy: http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_Hughes) jersey

Mark said...

To...two.

Mark said...

Not sure I ever realized Zman was a Yankee fan. Hate you.

zman said...

Sorry boo. I'd wear an Oakley Knicks jersey.

zman said...

Or Anthony Mason.

Mark said...

Boo? Booooooo!

rob said...

ten years ago, rory's dad and some friends bet 400 pounds at 500-1 that he would win the open championship before he turned 26.

TR said...

Great tidbit, Rob. The irony is that the winnings (~$270 K) are probably 1-2% of his annual earnings.

Mark said...

I just got around to reading this. If you haven't read it I strongly encourage you to.

http://deadsp.in/FRkLWdD

rob said...

yeah, it's pretty great

rob said...

you know what's not great? coming home from a week away to find that your in-laws, who were supposed to leave the day before you came home, have to stay at your place through the weekend because they both have hacking coughs that mean they're not up to traveling. adding another layer of annoying to the many, many layers already firmly in place. good, good times.

rob said...

also, my mother-in-law is all but deaf, and she has no concept of other people, so we're watching television at a sound loud enough to wake the dead. really good television, like dateline, and suze orman.

Mark said...

Good times at Casa de Rob. Meanwhile it's quiet as hell at my house. I went surfing today and then had a couple beers at a beach bar. Then I came home and prepped a pork shoulder for smoking tomorrow.

Currently drinking whiskey. I'll miss the wife and kids by tomorrow. Not yet though.

rob said...

now she's confused because the tv listings say that the nats telecast ends at 10:00 but the game is still on. i told her that the game clock must be running slowly.

rob said...

on the bright side, i'm drinking a stone chipotle smoked porter, which is exactly what it sounds like.

Mark said...

I've successfully avoided shopping on Amazon in large part due to Rob's warnings. That all went to shit tonight.

rob said...

friends don't let friends one-click drunk. we've failed mark.

Mark said...

The problem is we order all our non perishable grocery items off Amazon prime. It's just too easy for me to add stuff to the cart. It was only a matter of time.

Mark said...

Rocky IV "there's no easy way out' montage on AMC right now if you're interested in such things.

Shlara said...

The Wizards are winning July, between free agent signings and the summer league team.

I hope we can keep this going in the fall. It's kind of fun to be competitive.

Danimal said...

Feeling for Rob, while chuckling of course. No tighty whitey lounging this morning heh fella?