Tuesday, October 16, 2012

The Great Ones Never Rest On Their Laurels

You may have heard this music news tidbit in the last month, and when you did, you may have thought of me.  I've made no secret of my opinion of this "man."  But he just keeps doing things to reaffirm that I'm right.  (And I'm not alone.)

Just over three years ago, Beach Boy Mike Love won the title of Biggest Douche in Rock and Roll.  In a landslide, amazingly.  Earlier this summer, I took in the Beach Boys' 50th Anniversary Tour stop in Virginia Beach, and afterwards, I conceded that I enjoyed every bit of it, even the parts that Mike Love sang.  But we couldn't just end on that high note, could we?

About a month ago, it was reported that after the completion of the current slate of tour dates, Mike Love would be sacking original B-Boys Brian Wilson, Al Jardine, as well as longtime BB musician David Marks.  He will be going back to his usual touring band . . . the one he's toured with for years under the name The Beach Boys . . . you know, the one with Mike Love, Bruce Johnston, some other guys, and no Wilsons. 

The incendiary headlines that followed weren't overstatements, though.  I mean . . . Mike Love fired Brian Wilson and Al Jardine.  It's actually difficult to find a parallel.  It's like Ringo firing Paul and George and touring with his All-Starr Band under the moniker The Beatles.  That's not a stretch.  It's Dan Quayle dumping GHWB for the '92 run.  It's me ousting Teej and Rob and insisting that I am Gheorghe: The Blog. It's outrageous, egregious, preposterous.

Naturally, the ballcapped one, having seen the backlash from the public, tried to justify what he did.  And this is why, after having taken the high road, I'm chiming in after the fact. From the letter he took the time to publish in the Los Angeles Times:

"I did not fire Brian Wilson from the Beach Boys. I am not his employer. I do not have such authority. And even if I did, I would never fire Brian Wilson from the Beach Boys. I love Brian Wilson. We are partners. He's my cousin by birth and my brother in music."
Blah blah blah.  Of course you did.  But here's the best part.  The fans loved seeing everyone back together, according to Rolling Stone...

"But Love says an ongoing reunion tour is 'impossible' because of other Beach Boys shows he had already booked that started to bump up against the reunion dates."
Are you kidding me???  Which iteration would the venues rather have on stage??? Which would the fans rather see??? 

"Look, man, I know David Lee Roth is back with the band, but I bought a ticket to see Gary Cherone, and that's what I want to see!"  "Hey, it's great that Steve Perry has agreed to tour with you guys, but I don't think you understand.  We booked the guy from American Idol, and that's who we want."

I understand that Mike Love might have existing contracts with the stiffs who have been portraying Beach Boys for years in what amounts to the best publicized cover band in America, but here's the deal: buy out their contracts, you money-grubbing asshole.  You, the bald, bearded, scumbag who was too stingy to shell out money for your daughter's transplant and she died as a result, need to defy all odds and past performance and do the right thing, even if it costs you.  The 50th Anniversary Tour is the last chance you have to engender some will that's not hideously ill.  Some karma that isn't soul-eroding.  This is all you've got.  If you fuck this up, you may well die soon . . . and neither quickly nor painlessly.

Clarence has spoken.

Brian Wilson has, too.  He wrote a great letter as a form of reply, worth a quick read in its entirety to see how a man who's been called genius since 1966 can be humble, grateful, reflective, conciliatory, and earnest . . . and how the same man who's been called crazy since 1969 can be articulate, level-headed, and reasonable.  We should all be so crazy.

As far as I know I can't be fired--that wouldn't be cool. The negativity surrounding all the comments bummed me out. What's confusing is that by Mike not wanting or letting Al, David and me tour with the band, it sort of feels like we're being fired.

It's Al and my opinion that all of us together makes for a great representation of the Beach Boys. While I appreciate the nice cool things Mike said about me in his letter, and I do and always will love him as my cousin and bandmate, at the same time I'm still left wondering why he doesn't want to continue this great trip we're on. Al and I want to keep going because we believe we owe it to the music. In any case happy anniversary, I loved it and I think we knocked it out of the park for what it's worth.
Amen, brother.  God only knows what that dipshit would be without you.

90 comments:

Geoff said...

When did this become an exclusively anti-Quayle blog?

T.J. said...

way to get Stamos involved in this post...

Clarence said...

We're not exclusively anti-Quayle. We're also anti-Mike Love, anti-Roger Clemens, anti-Randy Newman (I'm not), and anti-Matthew Clemmens.

Plus, Quayle's been out of the spotlight for 20 years now. He probably likes this attention.

Mark said...

We're anti-University of Tennessee as well, Clarence.

zman said...

I didn't hate on Quayle, I merely linked him to bush. And history is replete with Quayle/bush, Quayle/Bush, quail/bush, and quail/Bush/Cheney references.

Shlara said...

Clarence--I've been waiting for this post from you!

zman said...

All candidates should be required to attend a consultation with John Kerry's tailor before appearing on TV.

zman said...

Jeremy is shitting a brick rigt now.

zman said...

Romney dropping bankruptcy science. zwoman say's he's right.

zman said...

I think Fred Armisten is pinch hitting for Obama tonight. We're already veering into SNL territory.

zman said...

Dude got an early start on Movember.

Clarence said...

I rather enjoy the Zman debate soliloquy sessions. Keeps me from having to watch.

zman said...

Romney will create jobs by burning coal?

zman said...

Obama says "Fuck you and your flipflopping coal stance."

zman said...

Shit's getting real.

TR said...

I bet Hank Greenberg's family is quite conflicted by Delmon Young's homer. #antisemite

zman said...

Gas was $1.86/gallon 4 years ago? Near Hofstra?!

zman said...

TR researched that joke for at least 69 minutes today.

zman said...

Talkin' bout pipelines?!?

zman said...

"I appreciate wind jobs ...." Hey now.

zman said...

Mary Eileen Fasallo! Nice job by you.

zman said...

Mitt wants to cap deductions at $25k?

zman said...

If you like to get drunk you should drink Les Jamelles Pinot Noir 2010. It makes presidential debates much more entertaining.

TR said...

I think the back injury story w/ Hughes is a total lie. Girardi has no faith in Hughes and yanked him immediately when there was trouble. Shades of Torre managing Kenny Rogers 16 years ago. I can't wait to hear them lie about it after the game.

zman said...

Obama is not down with the Five Percenters.

zman said...

Romeny wears a bracelet?

T.J. said...

TR, just said this on twitter...and I'm not even watching the game right now. it's that obvious b.s.

zman said...

"You wouldn't have taken such a sketchy deal, and neither should you the American people!"

zman said...

"I ran they Olympics ...! I ran the state of Massachusetts ...!"

It's a Commonwealth.

zman said...

This is a really wonky debate. At least both parties ran smart guys this way around.

Katherine Fenton needs to learn that "female" is an adjective.

mayhugh said...

I hate Tennessee. They some snitches.

I don't believe a single statistic either guy is throwing out. Gas costs people $2000 more a year now than it did 4 years ago? Highly dubious.

I love that each candidate keeps playing the Joe Pesci Memorial "Everything that guy just said is bullshit" card.

zman said...

"If you're gonna have women in the workforce, sometimes you need to be more flexible ...."

As opposed to not having women in the workforce.

TR said...

Joe Pesci is dead?

zman said...

"I know what it takes to make a strong economy."

Spell it out!

zman said...

Lilly Ledbedder y'all.

TR said...

If anybody with a passing interest in business wants a good, quick read, go get Boomerang, Michael Lewis' latest book.

zman said...

Oh dip, now we're talkin rubbers.

zman said...

What's the likelihood that Obama's daughters will be denied any opportunities?

zman said...

Susan Katz is 100% an SNL plant.

zman said...

"I don't believe any bureaucrats should tell a woman whether she can have access to contraceptives or not."

Whoa!

zman said...

We are now at the "hate on Dubya" portion of this debate. Dude hasn't been president for almost 4 years and yet he's still part of the debate. Gangsta.

T.J. said...

i like that zman eschews twitter and instead makes gtb his twitter on debate nights

zman said...

Wow. Obama is trying to make Bush look better than Romney. Wow.

"It's in the same wheelhouse ...." Shoutout to Geoff!

zman said...

The constraints of 140 characters are insufficient to convey the strength of my thoughts.

TR said...

Twitter needs more people trying to be witty on the debate right now.

T.J. said...

it's basically the worst version of open mic night at the dipsy-do comedy store in the history of ever

zman said...

Mitt's throwing out lots of numbers tonight. I'm looking forward to the WashPo fact check tomorrow. Either Obama's doing a terrible job or Mitt's full of Mularkey.

zman said...

They should arm wrestle.

TR said...

I just chugged about 40 marshmallows and I'm not sure why.

zman said...

Lorraine Osorio's man friend is really drippy.

"My dad was born in Mexico." C'mon.

zman said...

The image of the marshmallow chug caused ahl.

zman said...

"I'm not in favor of rounding up people and taking them out of this country."

Because, like, that sounds like Hitler's plan.

zman said...

"Have you looked at your pension."

"It's not as big as yours."

zman said...

Why does Mitt know so much about Barry's pension plan?

zman said...

Kerry Ladka from Mineola! "We were sitting around talking about Libya ...."

zman said...

I think Kerry deserves a follow-up question.

zman said...

But that was a good answer.

zman said...

Thinly veiled Jimmy Carter reference.

TR said...

Morgan Freeman doing the Shawshank voiceover for Obama? I guess he just misses his friend Barry.

zman said...

Who do you want dealing with this shit: the guy who killed bin Laden or the guy who ran the Olympics?

zman said...

Romney, building a record. Obama, calling for the transcript. Fucking lawyers.

zman said...

Fighting over this atrocity is pretty tacky in all regards.

zman said...

2nd Amendment!

zman said...

I cannot wait for the day when we have a candidate with the balls to say "The 2nd Amendment is an antiquity that needs to be repealed."

zman said...

"Automatic for the People" says Romney.

How the fuck did this devolve into the problems of single parenting?!?

zman said...

Damn. Obama's kicking him in the nuts on this gun stuff. And now he's off on a parenting riff?

Donna said...

reading y'all's blog while watching the debate is highly entertaining! thanks!

zman said...

Which segues into job creation?

mayhugh said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RablPaIREkk

I'm pretty sure Romney thinks there are 450 million people in America that are working age.

mayhugh said...

Romney will create 12 million more jobs. 2 million of them will be to make better guns than the cheap handguns being used in Chicago.

zman said...

Is that Horatio Sanz in the front row?

mayhugh said...

I made the same comment to the room - it went off like gangbusters.

zman said...

That's totally him, right?

zman said...

Oh no he didn't ... Obamacare!

zman said...

And I am out of wine.

zman said...

"Pioneers of outsourcing" is a very inappropriate comment based on my understanding of Mormonism, which I achieved through watching "Big Love."

zman said...

IP shoutout!!!

zman said...

I don't see how giving everyone a high wage job solves all our problems.

zman said...

Who told Romney to talk about percentages of people?

zman said...

Cheap gas is a major plank in his platforms.

zman said...

Bull Durham speech. I believe in soft core pornography.

mayhugh said...

I think Romney should have to explain his stance on soaking.

Clarence said...

If either candidate quotes a Beach Boy lyric, he wins the debate. Whoever mentions Mike Love being a douche as one of the problems with America (first) gets sworn in tomorrow morning.

Shlara said...

Both wives wearing the same hot pink color??

zman said...

CBS talking head mentioned "the African-American voter" in reference to the lone black person who was allowed to ask a question. How would she have identified each of the white folks who got to do their thing on the mic?

Shlara said...

Verlander still pitching in the 9th?

rob said...

i spent debate night watching a badass blues singer tear some shit up in a small club here in the twin cities. really glad the zman and mayhugh are watching out for my freedom.

Mr. Truck said...

i'm proud to announce that "random idiots" is going on tour -- and i should also probably announce that clarence and rob are fired, i'm replacing you with my own children, who have learned some rudimentary musical skills and so are both far more talented than the two of you, and also far cuter.

Mr. Truck said...

also, i know how to produce cheap gas. my five point plan includes all five fixin's from the condiment station at 7-11: chili, cheese, onions, jalapenos, mustard . . . put them on a micriwave burrito and your ready to start production.

T.J. said...

new post up