The Twelve Days of Gheorghemas: Day 4

On the fourth day of Gheorghemas, big Gheorghe gave to me:

Four legal mic drops 
Three woodland animals and a cool little otter
Two names
A fat guy in a jer-sey

Gheorghe: The Blog makes no apology for our historical focus on whimsy and our generally self-serving editorial output. But lurking below the surface mix of filler, inaccuracy, and navel gazing is a consistent thread of  professional and personal expertise. Put more simply, one of my favorite things about being a part of the G:TB community is the fact that I learn things on a regular basis.

In recognition of that, a big Gheorghemas huzzah (the official G:TB exclamation of the season, along with 'Hi, Gheorghies!') to zman, who staked his claim in 2013 as the internet's leading authority on the intersection of rap and the law.

To be sure, Z'd done good work on this topic previously, raising awareness of Jack Urbont's legal beef with Dennis Coles (d/b/a Ghostface Killah). But his efforts this year cemented his place in Super Lawyers' list of the industry's top purveyors of legal wisdom. (Don't bother searching for him, though, his modesty requires that his name not be included - he's a bit like a superhero in that way.)


Method Man - The Turn by mastho50

After spending the first part of the year focused on legal issues unrelated to rap (and automobile porn), Z turned his considerable analytical acumen back to dropping science in July. In the first of several cases involving the Beastie Boys (who seem to be the target and instigator of quite a bit of litigation - news for crews who'll be sucking like a leech, I suppose), Z noted the dichotomy between Judge Paul A. Englemayer's incredibly distinguished resume and his complete lack of understanding of the rap game:

Monster asserts the defense that "Hey, we thought it was ok to bust the Beasties' loops, Z-Trip said it was dope."

Honestly. That's what they told Judge Engelmayer. More specifically, they told Judge Englemayer that "Mr. Sciacca said 'you can use the music on my website.' That was a separate contract, [then Monster asked] do you approve? And he wrote back, 'it's dope.'"

At which point the learned judge said "It's dope?"

Z-Trip's lawyer explained “It’s dope means it’s good. He says, ‘well they showed me this video and yeah, it looks good. They say ‘oh, that gives us permission to use all this music.' But there’s no contract between my client and the Beastie Boys.”

To which Judge Engelmayer replied, “I take it on a summary judgment motion that I have to treat ‘dope’ in the light most favorable to your client." I'm not sure if His Honor realized how funny that quip is. You probably don't either, particularly if you didn't take civil procedure. But trust me when I say it's a hoot.

The persistent Mr. Urbont reappeared in the pages of G:TB in August, as Z chronicled the latest in the ongoing legal saga. In a noteworthy programming update, discovery for the case is scheduled for completion in February 2014. We eagerly anticipate Z's pre-trial analysis.

Judge Alison Nathan stands in sharp contrast to the aforementioned Judge Engelmayer, in rap-world knowledge, though not professional achievement. Z praised her skillz in September, acknowledging both her definition of 'MC' in a footnote, and her obvious affinity for G:TB. (As an aside, as courts across the U.S. have increasingly cited online materials in their opinions, the challenge of 'linkrot' has arisen. For this reason, we'll have to keep G:TB alive in perpetuity, as it seems next to certain that Judge Nathan will cite Zman's work in relatively short order.)

Finally, just a few weeks ago, Z weighed in on yet another Beastie Boys-related legal matter, siding with the makers of Goldieblox in their minor kerfuffle over the fair use of the former's 'Girls' in an advertising campaign. Notes Z on the band's standing policy of not licensing its music for commercial purposes, "While I respect that position, MCA's will doesn't override our copyright laws." (That right there may well be the legal reasoning cited by Judge Nathan at some point.) That Z applied legal principles in a way that supports Goldieblox over the legendary rappers on serves to strengthen his position as a neutral arbiter of legal flow.

Beyond issues of the law and rhyme-spitting, Z also weighed in on judicial misconduct, the Redskins' trademark, and Congressional claims of court-packing this year, a banner annum for legal productivity. (Here, anyway. I guess he ought not submit this post as a part of his performance review.)

As Method Man might say on the occasion of this, the 20th anniversary of 'Enter the Wu-Tang (36 Chambers)', "Respect when a grown man is speaking".

Fashion is Dumb: Reader Submission

KQ found this on Pinterest. I have no earthly idea what the hell it is supposed to be. A Dutch penis walking sleeping bag model? Ya got me.

The Twelve Days of Gheorghemas: Day 3

On the third day of Gheorghemas, big Gheorghe gave to me:

Three woodland animals and a cool little otter
Two names
A fat guy in a jer-sey

Christmas, and by extension Gheorghemas, is my favorite time of the year.  Santa stumbles, office parties, house parties, time with friends, time with family, I love it all.  I am also a sucker for TV Christmas specials.  My original plan for the third day of Gheorghemas was to document three of my favorite holiday shows but in the end I decided to detail one of the lesser known Christmas specials that just happens to be my favorite.  

In 1977, Muppet creator Jim Henson was sitting on top of the puppet world.  After cutting his teeth on Sesame Street and Saturday Night Live, Henson was enjoying the triumph of season one of The Muppet Show.  Building upon the most sensational, inspirational, celebrational, Muppetational show ever, Henson decided to produce a Christmas special based on Russell Hoban's 1971 O'Henry-esque story of an otter family struggling to make ends meet at Christmas.  Add the newly famous Kermit the Frog as narrator and the classic Emmet Otter's Jug Band Christmas (EOJBC) was born.   

Font fans, note the awesome 70's style text

Typically, Christmas specials feature standard animation (A Charlie Brown Christmas, The Grinch Who Stole Christmas), stop motion animation (The Year without Santa Claus, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer), or even claymation (The California Raisins Christmas).  EOJBC, is different and special.  Henson utilized many different styles of puppeteering and set design to bring to life the residents of Frogtown Hollow.   The result is an amazing christmas special that is a must watch every year in the Marls household.    

Essentially, EOJBC is the story of Ma Otter and her son Emmet's efforts to get the other a special christmas present (a guitar for Emmet & a piano for Ma).  Times have been tough for the Otters since Pa Otter passed away and the cash each make from various odd jobs is not enough to cover the desired gifts.  Apparently, credit remains tight in Frogtown Hollow.  However, the town's Christmas talent show boasts a $50 first prize.  Unbeknownst to the other, Ma & Emmet each enter the competition set on winning the prize so they can buy gifts to put under the Christmas branch.  

Whadda' ya expect, times are tough...

Ma plans on singing, while Emmet and THREE of his buddies form a jug band.  Emmet's buddies are Harvey Beaver, Stanley Weasel, and Wendell Porcupine...three species that I was unaware got along, let alone be able to harmonize together.  That said, while Emmet and the boys can't hold a candle to FoG:TB Rootsy's New Roanoke Jug Band, they do have some talent as seen here (note Harvey's solid kazoo work):

    

Also entered in the talent show is a group of miscreants from the town of Riverbottom, which, like Phildelphia, is clearly a town of ne'er-do-wells.  However, just as Philadelphia spawned Hall & Oates, Riverbottom can proudly claim the Riverbottom Nightmare Band as their own.

I won't spoil the ending for those who have not seen it before, but unlike many of today's children's stories that stress that everything is possible if you try hard enough, EOJBC has a bit more realism.  Life is not always easy, you can't always win, and you don't always get everything you want, but that's ok.  In the end, Emmet, his jug band buddies and Ma Otter learn a very Gheorghie lesson about finding the good things in life and working together, which is as relevant today as it was in 1977, making EOJBC a Gheorghemas must.    

An added bonus is that EOJBC features several songs written by Paul Williams. 

At just five foot two inches, the bespectacled author of "An Old Fashioned Love Song", "We've Only Just Begun", and most importantly "Rainbow Connection", is no doubt a favorite of our own Tiny Dictator.   

It is tough to deny the Gheorgh-ness of Mr. Williams who has never been afraid work with muppety co-stars.  However, if you need any further evidence of a man that does not take himself too seriously, at 1:55 of the attached clip you can see Mr. William's seminal work as Little Enos Burdett in Smokey and The Bandit.  




Merry Gheorghemas!!

Kids Write the Darnedest Things

My 12 year-old daughter is aware of the existence of this blog. Of late, she's been pushing to make her debut, drawing several things for me to consider. While there's a history of displaying our children's art in the G:TB blog family (and Dave's son Ian is really quite an artist for a 9 year-old...whose father couldn't match a tie with a shirt if he were spotted both), I'm just not quite ready for her to be an active participant in this scene.

But I came home this evening and found something of hers that made me laugh out loud. She didn't write it for publication - she was just getting things off her chest. I've changed the names to protect the innocent, and, apparently, the constipated. Other than that, I've typed it verbatim. Enjoy.

What: Rant
Who: Mr. [Science Teacher]
Why: Science currently sucks

OK. Listen. I know that as a teacher, your life is busy. You grade. You assign homework. You have to struggle with constipation. But dude! Lay off! First: relax, man! You're always basically complaining, yelling, or pooping about/to/on someone. It's okay to be stuck in the grumpy grumps sometimes. BUT NOT EVERY DAY! Second: How old are you? 30? 32? 40? And I'm pretty sure you're male, right? Then why do you have mood swings like a 16-year-old girl? One moment, you love life. The next, you want to kill everyone! I mean, seriously, who does that? I respect, however, that life is life, and sometimes, things get tough. And, hey! Some days, it's all good. You actually seem to care about us! You're perky! You crack jokes! You smile! You're okay, dude! I mean...sir. But seriously. Just focus more on, ya know, letting loose! Having a good time! Third: You literally pick on the dumb kids. I can list two people in our class who you harp on all the time. You also pick on smart people, too! Like Ian. He doesn't do anything wrong! It gets annoying. My friend told me you HATE her. (I never said I believe her) Okay. I think that, overall, you are a good teacher, and yes, you have your moments. Keep working on it.

Thanks, 

[Kid] R.

Groups of Life and Death

In a matter of mere hours, soccer fans the world over will gather in salons both real and electronic to watch a bunch of old white guys pick names from a hat. Metaphorically, anyway - the production values for the 2014 World Cup Finals draw are likely to be pretty slick.

Sepp Blatter's Blue Balls

For a good breakdown of the mechanics of the draw, go here. For a very quickly rendered U.S.-centric version, keep reading.

The U.S. side heads into 2014 off of one of the better years in its history. Jurgen Klinsmann's squad won a national-record 16 matches in 2013, including a world-best 12 consecutive wins. The U.S. is ranked 14th in the world headed into today's draw.

It's highly unlikely that the U.S. will be as fortunate this cycle as it was in 2010, when fate smiled upon us, slotting the Americans with England, Algeria, and Slovenia and opening the door for advancement to the Round of 16. The 32-team 2014 Finals is loaded with quality sides. There's a scenario in which the U.S. is drawn with Brazil, the Netherlands, and Italy. Zoinks.

There's also a chance that the U.S. gets Switzerland, Algeria, and Boznia-Herzegovina. We'd be advised not to get our hopes up for that one.

For what it's worth (answer: nothing. nothing at all), this World Cup Draw Simulator just gave us Uruguay, Algeria, and France.

As Pro Soccer Talk notes in the link above, though, the U.S. is capable of beating just about anyone in the draw on any given day. In the last 18 months, we've knocked off Spain and Germany, albeit neither nation's full side. Best not to obsess too much about the draw - it's pretty likely rigged, anyway.

The Twelve Days of Gheorghemas: Day 2

On the second day of Gheorghemas, Big Gheorghe gave to me...

Two names
A fat guy in a jer-sey

I knocked zwoman up again.



Yesterday we learned that we're having a girl. In honor of Gheorghemas' second day, I ask you, dear readers, to submit two names (first and middle) for zdaughter. I will christen zdaughter with the best submission (note that this is 100% not going to happen given that zwoman reserves the right to use her executive zveto in this matter).

Factors that will be considered include flourish, flow, flippancy, originality, monogram potential, alliteration, allusion, Ghostfaciacity, Buffalo Billsiness, dopeness, anything involving a Joan Harris gif, and of course Gheorgheness, as well as anything else that strikes my fancy upon review.

Please use the following format:

[first name] [middle name] zdaughter

For example, Xaviera Yasmeen zdaughter.

It's bad enough that my child will bear whatever moniker you clowns come up with, there's no need to drag her real last name into this lest someday she reenacts Marlo's "my name is my name" speech when she hears that her name was on the internet.



I look forward to your comments. Have fun, but remember ... this is my little girl you're talking about here.



Merry Gheorghemas!!

The Twelve Days of Gheorghe-mas, Day 1: HE'S BAAAAAAAAAAACK

It's that most wonderful time of the year yet again, folks: Gheorghe-mas. Our mildly successful faux holiday celebrating all that is Gheorghey returns once again today with this (belated) post. Amazingly, Gheorghe-mas has not only been around since 2008, but we have actually completed all 12 Days of Gheorghe-mas each year since (not a small accomplishment for this elite team of procrastinators).

On previous Day 1s, Big Gheorghe has given us...

• One Hell of a bloggy Par-ty
• One Doofus Dancing (hee, hee) 
• One Doofus on a Fake Pony
• A Doofus Dancing (the year Zman stole Day 1 from right under my double chins)

But ultimately, on this 5th anniversary of the creation of the greatest fake holiday since Festivus, it's time to go back to what started it all...

On the first day of Gheorghe-mas
Big Gheorghe gave to me
A fat guy in a jer-sey

Happy Gheorghe-mas to you and yours, and we'll see you back here throughout the month as we scratch and claw our way through 11 more days. Someone start working on Day 2, por favor.

/Insert my tired jokes about classic tunes "Christmas Eve in Washington" and "Christmas Shoes" here...

Tired of Looking at That Leprechaun...

Lots of tremendous things to look at here: the afros, the matching costumes, Lionel providing the inspiration for Buck Swope's cowboy look in Boogie Nights, the mild irritation among the band who would rather be funking out than backing Lionel on a love song.

I thought of this song over the weekend, when I had a perfect bowel movement. It slid out without requiring much pushing or clean-up and was just, well, easy. You know, easy like Sunday morning.

(If musings on my bowels don't spur our leader to finally push out our "big" December theme, nothing will.)

It Ain't Easy Bein' Green

As we eagerly anticipate the first day of Gheorghemas, we start your week with to two vastly different yet tangentially related topics, of equal interest to me (and on which I can write a post in under 10 minutes).

In March, the eagerly anticipated sequel to The Muppets opens in the U.S. As there's significant affection for muppetry in the G:TB community, I know you're all kinds of excited. I caught the trailer in a theater last week. You'll enjoy it, too:



Keeping with themes related to international criminal conspiracies and green-clad heroes, interesting news out of the Bitcoin community last week. For the uninitiated, Bitcoin is a virtual currency developed by a mysterious (frankly, anonymous) Japanese computer scientist who goes by the name of Satoshi Nakamoto. (Or as, Wikipedia describes it, "Bitcoin is an open source peer-to-peer electronic money and payment network introduced in 2009 by pseudonymous developer "Satoshi Nakamoto"). Though there are other virtual media of exchange, Bitcoin has generated the most public interest, with speculators bidding the value of a single Bitcoin over the $1,000 mark today. I've got a professional interest in the currency, given the substantial interest in it at the intersection of regulation, finance, and law enforcement.

A week or so ago, a pair of Israeli researchers published a paper linking Nakamoto to Ross Ulbricht, generally thought to be the man behind the identity of Dread Pirate Roberts, the founder and operator of and online exchange known as Silk Road. Ulbricht is in a spot of bother at the moment, as Silk Road is alleged to have facilitated millions of dollars in illicit transactions, including the movement of narcotics. Ulbricht is also alleged himself to have solicited no fewer than five murders for hire while operating the exchange. It's an engrossing mix of technology, greed, cloak and dagger, and dipshittery, if you have a few minutes to Google it.

Texas technologist Dustin Trammel quickly debunked the Israeli research, claiming ownership of the early Bitcoin account used to link Nakamoto to Ulbricht. (As an aside, if he was in on the Bitcoin phenomenon back at the beginning, he's sitting on a shit-ton of real, live cash money, even if it may be represented by ones and zeros at the moment. I've got a colleague who mines Bitcoins, and his several hundred dollar initial investment is worth north of $70,000 at the moment - and that's just what he's willing to admit.)

But while Trammel's unusually public response is interesting, it pales in comparison to the suit he's wearing in the picture below:

Which ties the whole thing together.

Relegate (Sung to the Tune of 'Celebrate')

Fulham lost a desultory 3-0 match to West Ham yesterday. The loss was the Cottagers' fifth in a row in Barclays Premier League play, and dropped them to 18th in the league table. Owner Shahid Khan (of the Jacksonville Khans) sacked skipper Martin Jol in a move that the internet cognoscenti (led by Sports Illustrated's terrific Andy Glockner - @andyglockner, if you're not already following him) have long advocated.

18th place is fairly dismal just on its own, but in European soccer's particular brand of Darwinian survivalism, the teams finishing in the Premiership's last three spots each season are demoted, replaced with three squads from the Championship. So roughly midway through the season, Fulham, a generally reliably mid-table squad, finds itself squarely in danger of relegation.

Since 2001, the Cottagers have competed at the top level of English soccer, earning a Europa League berth in 2010. Now, though, after selling star forward Clint Dempsey to Tottenham and watching Belgian international Moussa Dembele join Spurs, as well, Fulham has become a dreadfully boring, offensively challenged side. Glockner's plot of the squad's rolling average shots on goal in comparison with their opponents' is telling:

After a 12th place finish in 2012-13, Fulham have started this season 3-9-1, scoring 11 goals and allowing 24. In their last six matches (five losses and a win), they've managed a total of four shots on goal.

In short, they suck.

But this isn't a post about Fulham, per se. It's the beginning of a series on relegation. We don't have such a thing in U.S. sports, so it's a foreign concept to most of us. Fulham's my chosen Premiership side, on the strength of the club's history with American players (and unwillingness to pick one of the obvious choices). And while I confess to not having immersed myself deeply in the club's fortunes, I do follow them.

With 25 matches left, Fulham have lots of opportunity to reverse course and get out of danger. Interim skipper Rene Meulensteen gets a shot at Tottenham on Wednesday, and Khan certainly has the money to pursue new players in the January transfer window - it's in his interest to spend, because the economic impact of a demotion is estimated at 25 million pounds per year.

Since I won't have to worry about a national championship football game this season, I'll turn my attention to Fulham's fight to stay in the Premiership. Stay tuned.

Turkey Day Weekend "To The Pain" Pick' Em 'Stravaganza

DANIMAL PICKS

The last 3 weeks have been pretty good to Danimal who is 6-3 vs Mark’s 3-6, enabling the non-tattooed one to get within 2 games. (Dan is 20-18-1; Mark is 22-17).
Oooh…rivalry week! Listen, I apologize for last week’s slackishness. I will make up for it today, promise.

You want picks you greedy bastards…I’ll give ya picks!

Va Tech -13 at UVA, a.k.a. The Commonwealth Cup (3:30 p.m. EST)
The Hokies have won the last nine Cups, and 16 of the last 20 – a pretty nice stretch. This was a game I used to attend during my college and just out of college days. I remember Buckles attending one with me. My oldest sister lived there and was a season ticket holder with her assfaced husband, since divorced. Hi Keith. Dick. We ran out of beer or bourbon, or both at the tailgate. Don’t judge me, we were young and very poor. My sister’s good buddy Bill had scotch. So we drank it. Mixed it with a little water and a coupla rocks. Dewar’s if not mistaken. Buckles & I ended up crashing at Bill’s house. Bill liked to party. Hi Bill. Miss you.

Sorry, got off track there. So, Tech was a major disappointment this year. They played a great deal of uninspired football led by their super inconsistent quarterback Logan Thomas. And Frank Beamer – the man will, deservedly so, have a statue outside of their stadium at some point, but it’s time big guy. Time for you to pack up all your turkey calls and get on with your version of Duck Dynasty, kay fella?  With losses to Duke, Maryland, and Boston College, why on earth would anyone pick you while giving away nearly 2 touchdowns to UVa, a team that hates you as much as you hate them, and a game that takes place in daVille? Well, I’ll tell you why! Because the Cavaliers have one of the worst teams in big boy football. They are 2-9 overall and 0-7 in the conference, the ACC.  They don’t crack the top 100 in offense. Or Defense. WOMP WOMP! That is an unenviable position to be in going against a ginormous rival, who by the way has one of the best defenses in the country and will never ever tire of beating the Cavs. Oh, and playing in Charlottesville is about as scary as the haunted house in your kid’s kindergarten class, that is unless your entire team is allergic to the scent of chardonnay and gruyere. Lastly, you and your team NEVER play uninspired football against those douche nozzles from Vuhginia. And you won’t this time. You and your team, and your coach-in-waiting Bud Foster, the super Defensive Coordinator that he is, are going to put the smother on the Wahoos. Now go out there and get’r done, Frank. GET TA STEPPIN!
GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE! – Tech by 24

Notre Dame +14 at Stanford (7:00 p.m. EST)
I know this doesn’t quite go with Rivalry Week, but it’s the last regular season game of the year so I felt compelled to give you another Irish pick. I’m sure that makes several of you very happy, especially Zman. And TR. And Mark. And Rob. And Clarence. And that guy Whitney that used to hang out here. Yeah I know, it’ll make you happy when they lose. The likelihood of that is very good so until then carry on with your piss poor attitudes. Likelihood in this instance is defined as a 4 out of 5 chance. That’s 80% for you short on the math skeelz.

In August, I was counting this game as a definite loss. Now I think it’s a very likely loss but with possibilities. It hinges on you-know-who. Will “Touchdown Tommy” show up or “Tommy Turnover”. If the former, they keep it at least competitive and maybe even pull a shamrock out of their arses. With Stanford’s very solid running D, I’d guess that we’ll see a good # of Rees to TE Troy Niklas shorter routes. Niklas is a 6’7” TE who actually went to ND to be a lineman. And on the running side, true freshman and one of Mark’s old neighbors Tarean Folston is turning into what most predicted as one of the top 3 backs coming out of high school – bad-ass. Each week he gets more and more comfortable. He only has 347 yards on the season but 231 of those have come in November on 35 carries (6.6 yards – keep your calculator in your pocket).

On D, ND MUST get to the QB, Kevin Hogan, who by the way will have a chip on his shoulder because he wanted an offer from ND coming out of high school. The man that will be counted on to do so is future 1st rounder Stephon Tuitt. Hopefully he won’t have some bullshit targeting penalty like he had called early in the 2nd quarter against Pitt. Seriously, that was a horrific call. And Tuitt will need another true frosh to make a play or two – Jaylon Smith who like Folston, has made some big time plays over the last few weeks. Stanford is beatable – just ask USC & Utah.
Irish Cover

IRON BOWL!!!!
Bama -10.5 at Auburn! (3:30 p.m.)
A 10.5 favorite, on the road, against another Top 5 team. Hmmm.
This is going to be fun. With my #superdad feats of last weekend, guess who gets to watch college football for the better part of Saturday? (I failed to complain to GTB’rs on Sunday that I was solo w/all 3 while my wife and mother-in-law went to a “movie” that had her out of the house for 4 hours and 45 minutes, approximately) I probably shouldn’t get too far ahead of myself though – this could change at a moment’s notice. Wife now talking about getting tree and decorations up a week earlier this year for a few reasons yada yad yada. I will go into fetal position if that happens.

Let’s breakitdown!

Bama: #1 Defense. Aub: #2 Rushing Offense. Both near identical in total scoring. Auburn has two nice ball carriers, one of which is their QB Nick Marshall who averages 6.7 yards a carry. He’s their 2nd leading rusher. Tre Mason has 1100+ yards and averages 5.5 yards per carry. It’s the running QB that is going to help open things up a wee bit, that is IF he doesn’t fumble  (cautionary note for Auburn leaners – Marshall has fumbled the ball 10 times this year).
LSU manhandled Auburn – the 2 TD margin was much better than it looked. Howevah, Auburn played a shit game on the road and in terrible weather. They lost the turnover margin and botched an attempted punt deep in their own territory which translated to a quick TD. And 2 of their other 3 turnovers also led to TD’s. In looking at Bama’s win against A&M, A&M also lost the turnover battle – one of which led to a 14-point swing with a short INT in Bama’s end zone. Whoops. Something tells me Gus and his fellow coaches have been preaching the turnover thing this week, a lot.  So….here is what I am betting on – I am betting on Auburn breaking even or winning the turnover thing, and thus covering the line. IF they get to +2 on turnovers, I say they win. But like they say, if my aunt had balls she’d be my uncle. And by the way, which aunt are they talking about when the say that? Very confusing.
WAR EAGLE!!!!

MARK PICKS

We're at the end of the College Football regular season already? It would appear so. Usually I'd be bummed out that we'd already reached the end of the road. However, this is one College Football season chart I'm happy to see end. I can only take watching Florida's anemic offense so much before I snap. Fortunately for you, there's a good chance I'll snap today while watching Florida State run roughshod over my alma mater on their home field. Will I watch today's game with the faintest glimmer of hope that a miracle could occur? Yes. Will I likely give up this hope by halftime and head to the gym to take out my frustrations? Absolutely. Listen, there are a number of other games worth watching today. It just so happens that Florida-Florida State isn't one of them.  Anyway, on to the picks.

Ohio State @ Michigan +17.5
Michigan has been a colossal disappointment this year. They might be the only high profile team ranked in the preseason who has an offensive line that could rival the ineptitude of Florida. On top of that, first year QB Devin Gardner has been something beyond turnover prone. Turnover friendly? Turnover loving? Whatever. He turns the ball over a ton. On the other hand, Urban Meyer is doing what he always does during his second year at a new school. He's turning his team into a killing machine. Ohio State still has some holes on defense and their passing game comes and goes but they are far and away the class of the Big Ten. I think the Buckeyes are far better than Michigan but I can't quite convince myself to lay 17.5 on the road in a historic rivalry game. Go Blue.

Duke +5.5 @ North Carolina
Duke is in the midst of it's best season in, well, nearly forever. Duke hasn't been this good since before Steve Spurrier led them to three straight bowl games in the late 80s. North Carolina would like nothing more than to knock off the Blue Devils at home and earn some redemption for themselves in a season that's been somewhat of a disappointment. The Tarheels are on a roll of late, having won their last five games and absolutely embracing Old Dominion last week in a game that featured a 10 minute fourth quarter. There's a chance that Carolina pulls the upset here but either way the game's too close to give up 5.5 points. Take the Devils.

Kansas State -17 @ Kansas
This isn't quite the first game that comes to mind when someone mentions rivalry weekend. It is, however, a rivalry. A rivalry that often means more on the basketball court? Yes. But a rivalry nonetheless. Kansas has been garbage all year. Notching just on Big 12 win in a 31-19 home win against West Virginia. And while Kansas State isn't exactly a wrecking ball, they're still very much a tough, disciplined Bill Snyder type of football team. 17 points is a lot to lay on the road in a rivalry game but I'm confident that Charlie Weis and the Jayhawks can suck enough to make it worth it. Take the Wildcats and their awful, awful mascot for the win.

Goldieblox's Argument is Juuuuuust Right

I'm sure you've heard that Goldieblox filed a declaratory judgment suit against the Beastie Boys because the Beasties sent them a letter in which they assert that this video infringes their copyright on their song "Girls":



You've also probably read various ill-informed articles about this case. Without calling any particular authors to task I'd like to make a few points as a neutral observer.

First, many people have said things like "It's bullshit that Goldieblox sued the Beasties when it's Goldieblox that's doing the copying." In fact, the Beastie Boys had the same gripe in their open letter to Goldieblox.

Declaratory judgment actions are perfectly legitimate and they happen in the IP space all the time. Like when Robin Thicke filed a declaratory judgment against Marvin Gaye's estate. People do this because they have been threatened with a lawsuit and they don't want to be sued in an unfavorable jurisdiction. If you want to learn more about the standard, read this.

Second, many people think that the Beastie Boys should win because they don't license their music for use in advertisements based on a request in MCA's will. While I respect that position, MCA's will doesn't override our copyright laws.

About 20 years ago, Roy Orbison sued Luther Campbell of 2 Live Crew alleging that Campbell's song "Pretty Woman" infringed Orbison's copyright to his song "Oh, Pretty Woman". Here's the 2 Live Crew song:



And the Orbison song:



You can clearly hear strands of Orbison's music in Campbell's song, and Campbell definitely built his lyrics around Orbison's.

The case went all the way to the Supreme Court and Campbell won. The Supreme Court said this was a parody of Orbison's song and thus constituted "fair use" under 17 USC 107, even though Campbell's lyrics were offensive.

The Beastie Boys' case is almost perfectly analogous. In fact, unlike Campbell's parody, Goldieblox took the Beastie's misogynistic song and turned it into something feminist. This looks like fair use to me under the Orbison/Campbell case.

Finally, if anyone should be pissed off about all of this it's Bo Diddley. But if he went after the Beasties I'm sure they would claim fair use ... otherwise they'd be in a world of financial hurt for their uncleared samples on Licensed to Ill alone.

The easiest way for this situation to resolve itself is for the court to find a lack of standing in the declaratory judgment suit (which may be easy to do depending on the content of the Beastie Boys' first letter to Goldieblox). Then Goldieblox should pull the video and make a donation in MCA's name to a charity that helps girls. The amount should be a value both sides agree to, probably based on some form of statutory damages.

You can call me Solomon from now on.

A Very G:TB Thanksgiving

We don't have many traditions here (though I know how eagerly you're all anticipating the Twelve Days of Gheorghemas), but our sort of annual (this is the third time we've done it) Thanksgiving tribute to humanity is one of them.

Do enjoy, and may you and yours continue to have a cornucopia of reasons to be thankful.

Know Your Minor League Mascot: Wrenball Style

Best I can tell, we haven't celebrated big felt heads (eaaaasy with that turn of phrase) and whimsical small-town logos in over 30 months, when we left off with the Toledo Mud Hens. We're killing two birds with one stone today (neither of them anthropomorphic representations), celebrating things wild (appropriately, on the 50th anniversary of Maurice Sendak's Where the Wild Things Are), and things wren. 

Team: Springfield Armor
League: NBDL
Affiliation: Brooklyn Nets
Mascot: Steal (it's a homophone with a hoops twist!)

Self-Absorbed East Coast Elitist Commentary: My sister graduated from Springfield College after an ill-advised freshman year at Baylor. As it turns out, the town from Footloose was based on the latter's social life. Springfield was more to my sister's lushy liking. To continue the self-absorbed theme, my father's parents met in Springfield while freshman at American International College. It's no stretch at all to say that these words would never have been written if not for the gritty Western Mass town.

Springfield is also, as you know, the birthplace of basketball and the home of the Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Fame, so it's a fitting location for a professional hoops squad. The Armor enters its 5th season in the NBDL with a dismal 67-133 overall record - the team's only finished over .500 once, and comes off an 18-32 season.

A team with a history of losing and low expectations? That's a comfortable place for G:TB's favorite Armor player. W&M's own Quinn McDowell parlayed his scoring title in Australia's State Basketball League (where he dropped 29.4 points per game) into a D-League roster spot. While he only played one minute in the Armor's season-opening loss to the Maine Red Claws, McDowell's closer to the NBA than any W&M player in recent memory.

Gheorgheness Quotient: 50/77

It's a decent mascot, and a solid homage to the historic Springfield Armory, but it's no Richmond Flying Squirrels or Cluj 77ers.

This Week in Wrenball: Like you, McDowell will be listening via TribeAthletics.com this evening as W&M takes on VMI in Williamsburg. The Tribe looks to go 2-1 against the Big South, after a win over Liberty and a loss to High Point.  

Tony Shaver's Wrens finally put together a good half of basketball in their most recent outing, outscoring Rutgers, 48-29, after halftime to coast to victory. Marcus Thornton took advantage of the new officiating emphasis to get to the line 19 times, making 16 on the way to 28 points. Thornton's averaging 9 free throws per game over the first five games of the season, up from 4.4 per game last year. The Tribe junior is starting to get national attention, appearing in columns by both Jay Bilas and Jon Rothstein this week. When his three-point shooting reverts back to his normally excellent mean (he's 11-40 on the season), Thornton may drop 40 on some unsuspecting opponent.

Hopefully, that'll happen on Saturday, when Shlara, the Teej family, and my gaggle head to Howard University to watch the green and gold take on the Bison.

Technology is Neat. So is Bob Dylan.

So Bob Dylan's team just came out with something super-cool, and I want to share it. I don't think I can embed it b/c it's too fancypants. So I'll just put a hyperlink below. 

Sony Music has released a video for the song "Like a Rolling Stone" with a bunch of different "channels", with the channels being simulations of banal cable TV programming, with characters lip-synching the song. There is Drew Carey from The Price is Right, a Home Shopping Network segment, reality TV, Marc Maron, etc. 

If you choose to click the link here, you should note that the "TV screen" has channels you can change. Give it a whirl. It's Thanksgiving Eve and you ain't got nothing better to do.

Full article from Dylan's official web site is below. Happy Turkey Day, fockers.

New York, NY - When Bob Dylan released “Like A Rolling Stone” in 1965 – forever shattering all pre-conceived notions for what a pop single could be in terms of length, sound and subject matter - no official music video was ever created to accompany his release. But nearly a half-century later, a groundbreaking interactive project has been created for the song, allowing fans to experience the classic recording in unprecedented ways. Today, the Bob Dylan – “Like a Rolling Stone” Interactive Video is unveiled worldwide on bobdylan.com, coinciding with The Complete Album Collection Volume 1, just released on Columbia/Legacy Recordings. 

The Bob Dylan – “Like a Rolling Stone” Interactive Video showcases a patented technology platform, created by the digital media company Interlude, which allows viewers to play an active role in the story of the music video. The experience begins when users press play and have the ability to surf 16 different “TV channels” within the video in real-time. These channels are comprised of American TV formats in which, no matter what channel you are on, the hosts and actors are all lip-syncing the lyrics to "Like a Rolling Stone" as the song continues to play seamlessly. No two people will engage with the video in the same way twice. The full interactive video can also be experienced on iPhones and iPads and is easily shared across social media platforms. 

A number of recognizable TV shows and talent can be spotted throughout the firm, and savvy viewers will no doubt make connections between some of these appearances and the song’s lyrics, as well as to certain moments from throughout Bob Dylan’s 50-plus years as a worldwide cultural figure. 

“We're forever looking for compelling, creative ways to distinguish our artists and their music from the din. The Interlude treatment of “Like a Rolling Stone” provides us with a unique, playful, highly engaging platform from which we can reach - and ideally attract - Dylan fans from across the spectrum," said Adam Block, President of Sony Music/Legacy Recordings. 

“As a musician myself, I can’t imagine a more thrilling project to be a part of than helping create the first video for ‘Like a Rolling Stone,’ which is widely regarded as one of the greatest songs of all time,” said Yoni Bloch, founder and CEO of Interlude. “The song has repeatedly been voted the No. 1 Greatest Song of All Time by Rolling Stone, and is generally regarded as revolutionary, influencing both artists and popular music around the world. Like the song, we hope Interlude will inspire creative professionals everywhere to develop new and unique ways to tell stories through video.” 

With its cutting-edge interactive video technology, Interlude (repeat winner of Most Innovative Video at the MTV O Music Awards) partnered with award-winning content creator Pulse Films (LCD Soundsystem’s "Shut Up and Play the Hits" and Blur’s "No Distance Left to Run") and Walter Pictures (Best Music Video Award winner by Time Magazine, Pitchfork, and MTV Woodie Awards) to make an extraordinary first official video for Dylan’s seminal song. 

The video is being released in conjunction with The Complete Album Collection Volume 1, from Columbia/Legacy Recordings. This 47-CD boxed set contains 35 studio titles (including the first-ever North American release of 1973's Dylan album on CD); 6 live albums; the 2-CD Side Tracks, which compiles in one set previously released non-album singles, tracks from the original Biograph boxed-set and other compilations; a deluxe-bound hardcover book featuring new album-by-album liner notes from famed author Clinton Heylin and a new introduction by noted journalist and television personality Bill Flanagan. This project is also available as a limited-edition harmonica-shaped USB stick containing all the music, in both MP3 and FLAC lossless formats. The Bob Dylan Bootleg Series App was also just released, featuring over 500 pieces of rare and historical content.

Hope, Dreams, and the Genius of Harry Redknapp

I caught a story on BBC Radio during my drive home last night that fits so squarely with the Gheorghian ethos that it must be retold. It features, among other things, beer, irrational fandom, tattoos, the thickest of East End accents, and Harry Redknapp.

Let's begin at the beginning, shall we?

Ever since he was five years old, Steve Davies dreamed of playing for West Ham United. He grew up in the rain-thrashed English working-class town of Rushden, where by birthright he should have supported Rushden Town, or Northampton, or even Coventry City. But after watching West Ham triumph over Fulham in the 1975 FA Cup final, he became a long-distance fan, pledging his allegiance to the claret and blue of the Hammers.

Davies and a few mates traveled all over England to watch the Hammers play, cementing his love of the team and bonding over football. He became a decent pub league player, but like most of us, his professional dreams never amounted to more than the most wishful of thinking.

West Ham earned promotion to the Premiership in 1993, while Davies married, had a child, and began working as a courier, while still following the claret and blue.

In 1994, West Ham played an exhibition against lower-division Oxford, and Davies' friend Chunk wanted to attend.

"He's a true mate," says Steve. "My first wife was called Kelly, and Chunk's missus was also called Kelly, and they got pregnant at exactly the same time." The Steves and their Kellys once drove 230 miles to Torquay to watch West Ham play when the Kellys were five months pregnant. "Every five miles we had to stop for them to be sick at the side of the road," Steve says. "We nearly missed the kick-off.

"Chunk called me up one day and said, 'We got a pre-season game over at Oxford – fancy it?'" remembers Steve, who never said no to West Ham. "We liked to get a couple of games in early. We get withdrawal symptoms when the season finishes in May. I very rarely missed a game, and I fancied a little away trip to Oxford anyways." Steve's mate Bazza was also in Chunk's Cavalier as it idled outside Steve's house.

As the first half of West Ham's knock-the-rust-off friendly with Oxford Football Club kicked off at Court Place Farm, Davies found himself irritated at the Hammers' striker, Lee Chapman. Davies' loud protestations were impossible to miss in the tiny venue.

So loud, in fact, that Harry Redknapp, West Ham's assistant manager (and later legendary skipper) walked over to the barrier separating the field from the fans at halftime to speak with Davies.

The rest of the tale is hallowed football folklore. "I slung a leg over the barrier and Harry walked me down the tunnel," says Steve. "What's your name, son?" Harry asked, sizing up this apparent hooligan. "I couldn't believe it. Inside the dressing room, the players were sat down resting at half-time." West Ham were two-nil up, but the team was carrying injuries. "Then Harry and says, 'Lee you're off; Steve you're on.'"

The West Ham equipment manager gave Davies a kit and boots, and he entered the game at the beginning of the second half, replacing Chapman. As he tells it, the next 45 minutes were a bit of a blur (and he was two beers and a dozen cigarettes in). When it was over, all he had to show for it was some sweat, abused lungs, and a hell of a story.

Then, as suddenly as it began, the dream was over. The kit manager wouldn't let Steve keep his No3 shirt – they'd need it against Newcastle the next week in the Premier League. And 25 minutes later, Steve was back in the Cavalier with Chunk, Bazza, and his missus, stuck in traffic on the road back to reality.

But there's a twist that I won't ruin for you. Read the story in its entirety - it's long, and textured, and guaranteed to make you smile.

Good on you, Steve Davies. May you meet Irwin Fletcher some day, and may the wind be always at your back and the ball land softly at your feet.

Goodlatte, b.A.A.d. logic

On October 30 I sent the following email to rob:

Have you been following this? Insane.

http://legaltimes.typepad.com/blt/2013/10/democrats-republicans-spar-over-dc-circuit.html

http://www.courthousenews.com/2013/10/30/62473.htm

I might turn this into a post.

He said nothing so I thought it un-postworthy. Recent comments (namely rob's directive to "write that shit z") spurred me to action.

As you can see in the links I emailed rob almost a month ago, Rep. Bob Goodlatte of Virginia accused President Obama of "court packing" the Court of Appeals for the DC Circuit, alleging that the President's "three nominations, with the confirmation of another, is intended to pack the D.C. Circuit to capacity of 11 authorized judgeships." As George Will would say ... Well.

The term "court packing" came about when aspects of FDR's New Deal legislation were struck down by the Supreme Court in several 5-4 votes. Article III of the Constitution requires a Supreme Court but it doesn't say how many Justices must sit on its bench. Originally there were 6 and currently there are 9 (nice), but at one point there were 10 and at another time there were 8; for a while there were only 5. FDR decided that he would push his New Deal programs through the Supreme Court by increasing the number of Justices from 9 to 15, the logic being that his 6 appointees would vote for his programs and thus he would always win handily by 10-5 margins. Before this happened, Justice Roberts started voting in FDR's favor and there was no need to pack the court. This is famously referred to as "the switch in time that saved nine."

More succinctly, court packing happens when the President adds more judges to a court than the court currently holds. As Rep. Goodlatte acknowledged, the Court of Appeals for the D.C. Circuit has 11 judgeships. Right now there are only 8 judges in the D.C. Circuit, thus simple arithmetic shows that 3 of the positions on this bench are currently vacant. By filling those 3 vacancies, President Obama will bring the D.C. Circuit to 11 judges. 8 + 3 = 11. Further, 11 = 11. It cannot be said that 11 > 11 or that 11 < 11. Thus, when President Obama fills the 3 vacancies on the D.C. Circuit, he is returning it to its full capacity. In fact, when he took office the D.C. Circuit had seats for 12 judges, and it was reduced to 11 in 2009! If anything, Obama has reduced the size of the D.C. Circuit! So President Obama clearly is not engaging in "court packing" by putting up 3 names for 3 empty seats on the D.C. Circuit.

I understand this and I'm an idiot. I also disdain history; it was my least favorite subject in school and I haven't taken a history class since 12th grade. Nonetheless, I know that know what court packing is, and I know that 11 = 11, thus I know that there is no court packing afoot with respect to the D.C. Circuit.

Bob Goodlatte knows this too. He's a smart man with a degree in political science from Bates and a J.D. from Washington & Lee, and 20 years of service in Congress. He knows what court packing is (again, he has a degree in poli sci from Bates), and he knows how to add 3 and 8. So he knows that there is no court packing going on here.

Do you know what I call it when someone says something that they know isn't true? Lying. Bob Goodlatte is fucking lying when he says that President Obama is trying to pack the D.C. Circuit. And that's shameful.



If I were a weasely Federalist Society lawyer I would say something like "Rep. Goodlatte said 'pack ... to capacity,' he did not explicitly accuse the President of 'court packing.' These are two completely different things." And whoever says that is fucking lying too. It's crystal clear that Rep. Goodlatte is trying to make this into something it isn't. Everyone who graduated from high school knows that the term "court packing" has a pejorative connotation and is associated with Presidential over-reaching. Rep. Goodlatte is falsely trying to make it appear that President Obama is over-reaching by using a phrase that jogs everyone's memory as being negative, even though they don't remember why.



Assuming that Rep. Goodlatte isn't lying, and that he simply wasn't paying attention at Bates or W&L, his logic is still deeply flawed. President G.W. Bush had two open seats on the Supreme Court and he nominated C.J. Roberts and J. Alito because he knew their political ideologies are similar to his and that they would vote in a way that made him happy. Did President Bush "pack the [Supreme Court] to capacity of [9] authorized judgeships"? Of course not. Bush didn't pack SCOTUS, he merely returned it to a fully armed and operational court.

Or to make an equally stupid analogy, under Rep. Goodlatte's logic the people of the state of New Jersey "pack[ed] the [Senate] to capacity of [100] authorized [senators]" when they held a special election to fill Frank Lautenberg's seat. Here's another proposition that's just as stupid: Gov. Chris Christie "pack[ed] the [Senate] to capacity of [100] authorized [senators]" when he appointed Jeffrey Chiesa as interim senator when Lautenberg died. The Senate doesn't do anything these days except shut the government down so surely they can get by with 99 senators.

Which segues nicely to my next rant. It has been argued that the D.C. Circuit doesn't need more judges because they don't hear as many cases as other appellate courts. For example, the Wall Street Journal notes that the D.C. Circuit handles "only" 149 appeals per judge, and if it had all 11 judges on board they would "only" handle 108 appeals per judge. This is a bullshit argument. The Supreme Court hears 75-80 cases a year, so by WSJ's logic we could get by with just one Justice. Further, Congress controls the number of judges in any Circuit Court under 28 USC 44, so if you think there are too many judges in the D.C. Circuit then get Congress to shrink it!

Perhaps most egregiously, these nattering Republicans ignore the fact that the D.C. Circuit has 6 Senior Judges, 5 of whom were appointed by Presidents Reagan or G.H.W. Bush. After judges take Senior status they still hear cases, albeit at a reduced workload of anywhere from 25% to 75%, depending on how much any individual judge wants to work. So even if President Obama's nominees are confirmed, 9 of the 17 judges on the D.C. Circuit will be Republican appointees. Given that an appellate panel has 3 judges, there will be 1,080 possible panels of D.C. Circuit judges that have 2 or more Republican appointees (9 x 8 x 15 = 1080). By contrast, there will be 840 possible panels that have 2 or more Democrat appointees (8 x 7 x 15 = 840).

So stop lying and whining, you Republican ninnies. And this is all the Democrats' fault in the first place.

The person who wins the presidential election gets various powers to do all sorts of important stuff, including the appointment power. Some of that is highly visible, like picking federal judges. Other aspects are not that well publicized, like appointing the Librarian of Congress or the Deputy Director of the USPTO. Regardless of how much press these nominations get they are all important, and they are one of many reasons why presidential elections are important. It seems like every four years some boob at the Washington Post writes an editorial about how this election is the most important election ever because Justices X, Y, and Z are old and will soon die or retire, and the winner of the election will therefore shape the Supreme Court for years to come. Informed voters know this and vote accordingly. All Presidential nominees deserve an up or down vote regardless of which party holds what office, and in my view they should be confirmed unless they are blatantly unqualified for the job or if they have some blemish on their record that calls their character and fitness into question. You know I'm right when Charles Krauthammer agrees with me -- "Elections have consequences"!

Sorry Rep. Goodlatte, your candidate lost. I understand that you're unhappy, but don't lie to get what you want. It's unseemly. Just keep calm and if your candidate wins in 2016 you can unpack all the courts you want.

Sunday Sesame Street Silliness

Basically, this is your NFL Sunday Open Thread. I've just thrown in this mildly entertaining Sesame Street graphic to fill space. Oh yeah, POST COUNT.

[Via the internetz]

To The Pain: Week Whatever

It's week 13, I think, of the college football season. Danimal and Mark are back once again to provide you with some select game previews, well, at least one of them is this week (damn u lazy this week, danimal).

DANIMAL PICKS

Down 3 to Mark. Scratchin ‘n clawin baby. Rippin ‘n tearin! (you guys remember that?)
A short one today….sorry. Where has the week gone?

Georgia Southern +28 at Florida
Sorry Mark – will go GA Southern here. If it makes you feel any better, Notre Dame will lose their game vs BYU.

Missouri -2 ½ at Mississippi
Lots of people calling an “upset” here…but I don’t think so. And besides, if a 2.5 point underdog wins at home, is it really an upset? I think not. Regardless, Missouri wins and covers.

It appears the "next Johnny Football" is benched today in favor of James Franklin

Pittsburgh +1 at Syracuse
Both teams coming off of losses and both playing for bowl eligibility. I’d be lying if I said the 2 games the Orangemen lost by 56 each, one of which was to GA Tech, wasn’t a concern. On paper, Syracuse is a better team and they tend to finish strong. Throw in home in the dome and it’s no-brainer. Syracuse

MARK PICKS

Not much prose from Danimal this week. Maybe he's mad at me because I didn't reply to that email he sent earlier this week. Hey, listen Dan. I'm busy. I was doing adult things this week. Signing papers and shit. I'll get back to you.

Meanwhile, as earlier stated, Dan is creeping up on me in the standings. And I'm pretty sure Rob is rooting against me. Whatever, dick. I need a good week so let's get right to it.

Michigan State -6.5 @ Northwestern
Michigan State's defense is among the very best in the country. They're only allowing 13.2 points per game. Sure, their offense is terrible. But it's not as terrible as it was at the beginning of the season. And with the defense scoring some too the Spartans have averaged over 37 points in their last 3 games. Northwestern once looked like a contender for the Big Ten crown but has seen their season go in the tank since at loss at home to Ohio State. The Michigan State defense will just be too tough on the road. Sparty.

Oregon -22 @ Arizona
Oregon didn't cover last week for the second week in a row. Is it time for me to jump ship with a road game against an underrated Arizona team? Does it matter that, earlier this week, some Oregon players said publicly the possibility of going to the Rose Bowl isn't all that exciting to them? I don't think so. Until last weeks loss at home to Washington State, Arizona had given up at least 31 points in it's last 8 games. Oregon's offense got untracked in the second half last week. Give me the Ducks.

Texas A&M +5 @ LSU
Kevin Sumlin is 13-3 in "revenge" games. He's also 7-0 when his opponent is coming off a loss. So Texas A&M is a sure thing in Baton Rouge, right? Not exactly. A&M is never a sure thing with that shitty defense. Luckily for the Aggies, LSU's defense isn't up to it's usual standards this year either. I expect a shootout that elicits several "How about those SEC defenses?" from annoying ACC/Big Ten/Big 12 fans. The last number I saw for the over/under was 71. Take the over and John Football. Gig 'Em Aggies.

Snoop...Tiger?

Bonus: Georgia Southern +28 at Florida
So, about last week. I really thought South Carolina was going to wipe the floor with Florida. Sorry about that. I really had no idea that Florida was going to slow it down and run a junior high school offense. Sklyer Mornhinweg threw five passes. Five! Even more shocking is that South Carolina couldn't consistently stop it. Also of note, I might be rapidly falling in love with Kelvin Taylor.

Okay, back to the game. Florida's not winning by 28 points. Not with the 3rd string QB throwing with single digit pass attempts against a triple option team. I expect roughly 100 combined rushing attempts in this game. Did I mention that this game is only available on PPV for $50? I think I'll pass. But by all means, take Georgia Southern. Make yourself some money.

Gator bloodbath

Funny Muppet Video For Kids!

Not only is this Muppet filler, but also a rare  recurrence of "What the High School Kids Are Watching."

Find a cute little kid and show them this video.

Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahaahahahaahahahahahahaahahahahahahaahahahahaahahahahahahahaha!

But SFW.