GTB5K

"I don't trust anyone that can't laugh at himself."

Those are the first words ever committed to the interwebz under the banner of Gheorghe: The Blog, way back on November 7, 2003. If I had it to do again, I'd broaden the gender category - that's one of the many ways we've become more enlightened humans around this space. But I feel pretty good about how that sentiment has held up, and how we've maintained that ethos lo these many years.

This post represents a milestone in absurdity, self-referential writing, friendship, and love. This post, my friends is the 5,000th in the history of Gheorghe: The Blog. We've seen more than 3.5 million pageviews and over 137,000 comments in that span. We've met internet friends who've turned into real ones, and built tighter friendships with good humans we already knew. Not bad for a paean to dipshittery cooked up by a guy who was bored at work - and really importantly, picked up and kickstarted by a different guy in a similar professional situation. It's an unequivocal fact: there is no community of Gheorghies without the Teej.

So we gather here at this august moment in history to celebrate that community, built on whimsy, grounded in silliness, buttressed by shared interests, adorned occasionally with sentiment, decent writing, and serious musings. I've assembled a cast of a couple to talk about their experience over these nearly twenty years, and I'd love to hear about yours in the comments.

[Amused after the fact, though I probably shouldn't be, how similar many of our answers are. The GTB hive is real and it's spectacular.]

What's your earliest GTB memory? 

Whitney

Check out this email! (And my ignorant reply.) 

Gheorghe: the internet magazine, whatever that is, popped up in the earliest part of the millennium, just as a tool for us tools to writer about what we like and aspire to make each other think… or at least chuckle. Blink and you missed it. 

Cue the Webster… Then came you, Gheorghe: The Blog! 

Fresh off a season of watching baseball with Rob, I saw him leap into the deep end of this blog. And then promptly hand the keys to the cabana to the Teej. Give rob ownership and founding father status, of course, but be sure to give TJ credit for turning this site from really nothing into really something. A very silly something, to be sure, which was perfect and on mission. 

I was happy to take my place at the table as the third contributor. If rob is Sam and TJ is Norm, I came in as Cliff, a pretty annoying know-it-all loser who eventually found his voice… as exactly that.

It’s worth going back into the annals. It was the wild west back then, and it's all over the place, but it's a treasure trove of laughs and head-shakes. But I've also really enjoyed the plethora of participants along the way. What a roster of contributors, commenters, critics, and clowns. 

Teej

In typical GTB fashion, this post is delayed... because I procrastinated any and all answers. All I seem to recall is telling me about a "blog" lo these many years ago, and it sure seemed like a good way to pass my time at work rather than, ya know, working. It's hilarious to see my piss poor attempts to be New Jersey Ave NW's version of the Boston Sports Guy. Those early posts are cringe, but they also were the highlight of my day. And on those rarest of rare occasions the OG Deadspin would link to something WE put on this blog, I felt a lot more price in that than the cracker factory shifts I was doing back then. [Rob: I totally forgot that used to happen. It was, indeed, glorious.]

Rob

Ironically, or par for the course if you ask my wife, I do not remember the founding details of GTB. But I do remember The Teej posting about a random encounter he had with our blog's namesake in New York's Little Italy.

What's your favorite GTB post of all-time? 

Whitney

Ooooh, good one. And impossible to answer properly. 

• The first post ever was a dandy. 
• Here's one of Mark's that everyone loved... 321 comments. My goodness. 
• The Cauc Hop. Terrible but fun. 
• The Manliness continuum was fantastic. 
• The Spahn Ball. 'Nuff said.

I have gotten a lot of mileage out of the Top 20 Douches in Rock and Roll, and I'm tempted to say that TJ finding pure gold is my fave, but the truth is that I have even more appreciation for the depth of posts like this one and this one and this one and this one.

But I'll go with this one. Because it captured the event that captures us and this blog the best.

Teej

I mean, rob's LeBron post was an all timer. And the silly Fashion is Dumb series always makes me chuckle. But for my money, it was this doozy from Whitney - it was as blog post-y as a blog post could be. [t's also a good reminder that the two other guys who answered these questions have always been great writers, and I did stuff like The Ghoogles - the Teej knows his lane]

There was also that time I went to the State Fair.

Rob

Selfishly (look, this whole blog is an exercise in selfishness), it's the LeBron post, because of the experience that went with it. Nearly 14 years later, I can barely believe that actually happened. Just an amazing whirlwind of a few days. Owe it all to Shlara.

This one's a little more obscure, but also connected to an experience. The time Bobby Valentine slapped the Teej on the ass at a movie screening was sublime and ridiculous in equal measure. 

I also have fond memories of the Most Outstanding Achievement in the History of the Internet.

The Teej's trip to the Indiana State Fair is a seminal early-GTB work. Historians will revel in it.

This one combines Whit's Grampa Jack and a most auspicious summit of all time. It's so good that we labeled it 'The greatest post in the history of this illustrious blog'.

Wrote this about my grandparents.

For what it's worth, the LeBron post is the single biggest driver of views in our history, amassing more than 37,000 sets of eyeballs. The second-highest volume? A photo essay by the Teej celebrating Hurricane Igor got over 17k. I just report the facts, folks. 

What's your favorite recurring bit? 

Whitney

• Bite Me, Randy Newman. Irony notwithstanding. 
• Gheorghe’s 6-Pack, here and here.
• TR’s Topps 80's baseball cards.
• The Elegy for a Dive Series, where I get bested by OBX Dave yet again.
• WCSAGD!!
• Whitneypedia.
• Dave’s "Ask A..." series was amazing, and this one might have gotten my top billing except for the fact that the butt of the joke ended up dying a few years later.

And, of course, Gheorghemas. I love Gmas the most, since it draws the roster out of hiding really nicely. I especially love my Day 12's Appreciations assignment, even as I fall short plenty. 

Teej

Remember that time I was convinced all we needed was a daily recurring bit like all the other bigtyme blogs, so we came up with the Ceai Complet tag? Good times, good times. 

Rob

I do love the Gheorghasbord, because it's easy and I'm lazy.

WCSAGD is the best executed bit, by some measure.

The impending doom foretold by the Large Hadron Collider makes me laugh. I may be the only one.

Zjurisprudence is both funny and educational.

I quite miss the Ghoogles.

And the 12 Days of Gheorghemas might be the best concept we've ever done. Writing the year in review is way up the list of my favorite holiday traditions.

Who’s your favorite Gheorghie? 

Whitney

I love all Gheorghies the same! And love, as Del Griffith said, is not a big enough word. 

But my answer is Dennis. 

Teej

It's obviously Dennis. 

Rob

Dave. His brain amazes, amuses, and bemuses me.

What happened to Jerry? 

Whitney

Sinkhole got ‘em. Pity the old Wheelhouse posts aren’t archived somewhere. I mean, yeah, Library of Congress and all, but that’s too hard to access. 

Teej

In 1972 a crack commando was sent to prison by a military court for a crime he didn't commit. This man promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, he survives as a soldier of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find him, maybe you can hire... Jerry.

Rob

Mark and I broke his brain. Illogic trumped logic. Chaos reigned. And he decided to grow up and put away childish things. Shame, really. Love that guy.

What's your favorite thing about GTB? 

Whitney

It’s my world away from the world. It’s such a nice safe haven. I like getting my news from here. Politics, sports, music, how the world and the things in it work, and the latest from each gheorghie's life -- celebrating the ups and commiserating/supporting the downs. 

Also, summits and mini-summits. So great.

Teej

All you assholes write gud.

Rob

The range of contributions. We contain multitudes, from Muppets to the work of an actual (reformed) professional scribe, to the emotional, to fake scientific panic (or is it fake?), to sharing actually interesting facts about the world to polyps to poop to diverse music takes. Phew. That's a lot.

Also the people. The people are pretty great. And the way they got here would make for an excellent oral history.

Who's your least favorite Gheorghie? 

Whitney

TR, because he actively quit us after he once told us on a camping trip he couldn’t. Miss that guy. That also goes for Jerry, Geoff, Swint, Mayhugh, and the rest of the defectors. 

But my answer is Almighty Yojo. 

Teej

Cane Lover. What a dick.

Rob

Dave. He knows why.

How much time do you estimate you've wasted at GTB from its founding to now? 

Whitney

69,696 hours. Except that not a moment has been wasted. Even if I was.

Teej

The number from that song in Rent. I'm not gonna Google it. Too lazy.

Rob

GTB has been around for 7,111 days as of the release of this post. I easily spend 30 minutes a day on average either writing, reading, or commenting. That's 3,555 hours, or 59.25 days. It feels like more. I bet it's more. But it's a trick question. The only thing wasted in that time was me on most Friday and Saturday nights.

What's your message to the Gheorghies after 5,000 posts here?

Whitney

I've only got one thing to say:

That, and keep on truckin'. Please keep bringing me countless hours of joy. It's the best stop on the long road through modern technology.

Teej

This:

Rob

Let's run it back. Can't wait to write about post number 10,000.

Movin' On Up

That's a Jumbo Shrimp!

It's a natural human tendency to identify with local institutions, entirely keeping with the tribal nature of our species. When it comes to sports, we've got a broad range of hometown teams to celebrate. Whit's got the Norfolk Tides. Danimal reps the Jacksonville Jaguars (when he's not at 121 Financial Ballpark backing the Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp). I have it on good authority that the late(ish) lamented TR is a Colorado Rockies fan. The Teej is all in on the Wizards, though they don't deserve him.

I've got my own local rooting interests, and after a few bleak seasons, both of them are having seasons to be proud of. 

Segra Field was opened in Leesburg, VA in 2019. It's 3.5 miles from my house, and hard by the facility my soccer club owns. It's nothing fancy - modular construction, 5,000 seats, still using converted cargo containers as bathrooms - but it's ours. 

The facility was initially built to be the home venue for Loudoun United, which plays in the United Soccer League (USL) Championship, the second tier of American soccer. You may recall that I attended United's first-ever match at Segra, back in August 2019. For several years, NWSL side Washington Spirit played some of their home games in Leesburg (they've since departed for Audi Field in D.C. proper, and good for them - they deserve big-time digs). And since 2021, Major League Rugby's Old Glory DC have called Segra home.

It's been unquestionably cool to get to see reasonably high level sports played in my backyard. But until recently, the novelty of seeing Loudoun mentioned with cities like Memphis, Phoenix, Louisville, Seattle, etc. in the sporting press was about all we had to sustain us. After a decent start to their USL Championship run (the team went 11-17-6 in its inaugural campaign), Loudoun United has suffered from the same financial woes that plague their parent club, D.C. United. The local 11 has posted a combined record of 13-56-10 over the previous three seasons, with nary a sniff of the playoffs.

Meanwhile, OGDC have fared a bit better, but only just that bit. In their two seasons at Segra prior to this one, the local lads have managed a 9-1-22 mark, failing to qualify for the playoffs in either campaign.

The times, they seem to be changin'. When I opened the paper this morning and looked at the USL and MLR standings, Loudoun's own were in rarified (relatively speaking) air. Loudoun United drilled Oakland Roots, 3-0, this week to move into fourth place in the USL Championship on 10 points. They trail second place Birmingham Legion by just three points and have a game in hand and a better goal differential. Admittedly, it's early days, but there's reason for optimism.

Loudoun United's next home match is on Wednesday, where they play a third-round U.S. Open Cup match against Flower City Union, a third-tier side from Rochester. A win (and the locals are favored) would get United into the Round of 32. Heady stuff, indeed.

Old Glory are holding up their end of the bargain, currently sitting in second place in MLR's Eastern Conference having played nine of 16 regular season matches. The standings are a logjam in the East, which is the inferior of the league's two divisions - OGDC has the same record as New York Ironworkers, NOLA Gold, and Rugby ATL, but lead on points. The top three teams in each conference make the playoffs.

We'll keep you posted on the locals. If you need playoff tix, I know a guy who knows a guy. Vamos Loudoun!

Placeholder

Do enjoy this spectacular video with the sound up loud while I work on an actual post. If you can make it through without laughing aloud, you're a better human than most.

Assignment not understood lol pic.twitter.com/ljvkVDogtx

— Tabatha Marshal 🇺🇦🇺🇲 (@Tabathamarshal) April 24, 2023

The Fall of a Sparrow

Some quick filler for you... here's something to listen to on these sunny spring days. Or when you're commuting to work, for those of you that still do. 

My old friend Ned is a musician whose work I've shared with you before. He's a nicest guy ever and knows his way around a whole lot of instruments. Here's the Spotify link to his work. 

A number of years ago, he composed and recorded a song that he brought to our 20-year high school reunion. Much loved by the gathered crowds, it remained in that time's medium (compact disc) until he recently re-recorded and released it on all the streaming sites. It's just called 20, and here it goes...

(listen closely to Verse 2 for a gheorghie namechecking)

Since you asked, yes, Les Coole and the Cukes indeed have a recent release. This came out in March, a vague recounting of a concert my high school chums and I took in at William and Mary Hall in '87. Athens band. Enjoy, if you can. 

At least enjoy Symphony member and friend Jake Fowler on cello. And chuckling at the end. 

And finally, it's been shoved down your throat before, but Garden State Dave's podcast is soaring. Get on board now.

If you wonder what Dave's podcast name refers to, go no further than what is arguably Shakespeare's most famous play. 

Horatio
If your mind dislike anything, obey it. I will forestall their repair hither and say you are not fit.
Hamlet
Not a whit, we defy augury. There's special providence in the fall of a sparrow. If it be now, 'tis not to come; if it be not to come, it will be now; if it be not now, yet it will come. The readiness is all. Since no man knows aught of what he leaves, what is't to leave betimes?

Not a whit indeed! I certainly couldn't do a podcast like this.

Cheers...

My Kind of Street

We've spent some time in this space celebrating the combination of Sesame Street clips and Hip-Hop (I'll never, ever tire of Bert & Ernie getting down to M.O.P's Ante Up). Which is why when Sesame Street dropped a nutritionally educational rap video a few weeks ago, my entire week was made. Not because Sesame Street was doing something related to Hip-Hop. Surely that's happened before (I'm guessing here but I feel pretty confident).

No, no. It's because who ever was behind the video below was/is clearly a true fan of Hip-Hop. First, check out the video (specifically the part that begins at 2 minutes)

So, the first part was fine but the banana is what got me. The banana is Phonte, formerly of Little Brother. Little Brother is by no means a household name, but for Hip-Hop fans of a certain age and taste, they are legendary ( I highly encourage you to check out "The Listening" and "Getback"). This isn't some random pick. Not even close. This was a Little Brother fan who knew Phonte would be into the idea of being a rapping banana. 

Secondly, the ad-libs - "Ha haaa!" "Yeaaaah", etc. These ad libs are classic Young Jeezy. If you've ever listened to Young Jeezy these are unmistakable. They're as essential to his sound as the rapping itself. 

Lastly, that beat? That's Jay-Z's "Dirt Off Your Shoulder". It's all so perfect. It kind of makes me wish I had a small child that I needed to encourage to eat more fruit.

Cross-Promotion!

Wrote this for LinkedIn, all professional-like, but figured it might be interesting for this audience, as well.

Dan Le Batard is a unique figure in American sports media. He made his name as a columnist at The Miami Herald, rapidly becoming one of the most interesting voices in the industry. He transitioned to radio, first locally in Miami and then for a number of years at ESPN. While at ESPN, he developed a television show called Highly Questionable that featured a rotating panel of guest co-hosts, as well as Le Batard’s own father, Gonzalo. Now, LeBatard has gone out on his own with former ESPN President John Skipper, founding Meadowlark Media, which has attracted some of sports’ most interesting and thoughtful voices, and creates content across a number of formats.

Le Batard has long been an iconoclastic voice in an industry that tends to suffer from self-importance. The business of sports is unquestionably serious. But sports themselves are games, and meant to be fun. And those of us that are sports fans invest so much of our own satisfaction and even identities in outcomes of those games that it’s easy to lose track of the fun part. Le Batard has carved out a place for himself and his team as one of the few voices willing to poke fun at the edifice, and lean into the silly and the ridiculous amidst the sublime.

The team also leans into vulnerability in ways that are unusual in sports media. Le Batard himself has spoken about deeply personal issues related to his mental health, and provided a venue for athletes and other personalities to do the same. He’s been a vocal critic of professional sports’ long-time hostility towards LGBTQ+ athletes, and promoted talented personalities like Bomani Jones, Pablo Torre, Mina Kimes, Adnan Virk, Amin Elhassan, Renee Montgomery, and Jessica Smetana who don’t look or sound like the stereotypical talking heads on legacy sports broadcasts.

Since 2019, Le Batard and his staff has produced a podcast called South Beach Sessions. It’s a one-on-one interview show that takes advantage of Le Batard’s considerable gifts as an interviewer. As Meadowlark Media has grown, the producers of South Beach Sessions have encouraged Le Batard to lean into topics that make him uncomfortable. In particular, they’ve pushed him to wrestle with his own emotions and motivations. That led to a remarkable interview last week with Greg Cote, one of Le Batard’s earliest professional friends and mentors, and a frequent contributor to Le Batard’s radio show and podcast.

I encourage you to listen to the entire show (available via the linked image below) because it’s fascinating and moving, but I’m writing this post today because of what Le Batard says about leadership and running a business. Meadowlark Media is his first venture as a corporate executive, and while he has very experienced and successful businesspeople helping run the business, he acknowledges the heaviness of being the head that wears the crown. At the same time, he’s adamant that he needs to bear certain responsibilities that he might otherwise delegate, saying that “on the other side of pain is growth”. 

There’s a moment at the 46:20 mark (near the end of the interview) where Cote asks Le Batard how he wants to me remembered. “The short answer is: he cared,” says Le Batard. “The longer answer is “He cared what he built”. 

I have long wanted to be known as someone who cared. About people. About growth. About results and making an impact to customers and my community. I’ve been thinking about Le Batard’s framing of caring for what he builds since I heard this interview. It takes caring from something that’s personal and even passive to something that demands action and thoughtful, purposeful commitment. And I’ll take that notion with me as I take on my next professional challenge.

Didn’t expect to get a business lesson from Dan Le Batard this month, but I suppose we can find inspiration in lots of places. And now if you’ll excuse me, the Red Sox are about to play the Angels, and I don’t need an excuse to watch baseball at 11:00 in the morning.

New Squirrel Just Dropped

There are a couple of kinds of clickbait that I'm constitutionally incapable of resisting. We've already talked about animal videos here. And I'm a sucker for the military parent returning from duty away from home to surprise their kid. This week, another headline showed up in my field of vision, and sucked me right in.

Look at this gorgeous little ripper!

Three words, my friends: wooly flying squirrel.

Kristoger Helgen is the chief scientist and director of the Australian Museum Research Institute in Sydney. His description of Eupetaurus cinereus, a newly discovered species of Himalyan squirrel is pretty great, and very scientific - he calls it, “one of the strangest ways to be a mammal.” [For what it's worth, Helgen says the same thing about Inland Dave.]

In the early 1990s, a researcher named Peter Zahler from the Wildlife Conservation Society found a single example of a wooly flying squirrel in remote Pakistan. Since then, the scientific community has sought to confirm the existence of an animal thought to be extinct.

It got a little weird for minute. As The Washington Post writes, "Helgen and Stephen M. Jackson pored through preserved specimens that had been collected in the wild and placed in museums around the world. They compared skins, skulls, teeth and penises."

Okay, man. Whatever. 

All that obsession with rodent genitalia paid off, though, as an international collaboration eventually determined that three unique species of big-ass flying squirrels are confirmed to exist. These sumbitches are more than three feet from nose to tail, weigh more than five pounds, and are capable of soaring from one mountain plateau to another. They also poop prodigiously, more than 900 pellets per 12 hours. Badass.

I know what I'm doing next summer.

Newsgathering, Objectively Speaking

News is in the news once again. More specifically, how stuff gets covered, what merits saturation coverage, what goes uncovered or overlooked, how news outlets can be better in a time of diminishing resources. 

As the site’s media grump, I’ve written about the state of newsgathering and newspapers previously, but those dead horses won’t beat themselves, so here we are. A story earlier this year on the website The Bulwark dove into what the election of Congressman George Santos revealed about the decline of local newspapers. Santos, a Founding Father and former Heisman Trophy winner, fabricated many of his life’s experiences and accomplishments, and much of it didn’t come out until after he won. A familiar refrain: it would have been helpful if news outlets reported Santos’ prevarications *before* the election. 

Well, it turns out that they were. The Long Island (NY) paper, the North Shore Leader, did some digging and concluded that Santos was “a fabulist – a fake.” It ran an editorial calling him a fraud. Its reporting, unfortunately, didn’t resonate with voters, nor did it prompt larger nearby outlets such as the NY Times, NY Daily News, Newsday or any of the local TV stations to take a closer look. 

Leader owner and publisher Grant Lally told The Bulwark that he didn’t get a single call about his paper’s reporting. “If this had run 25 years ago, it would have been gobbled up,” Lally said. “There’d have been 20 follow-ups from Newsday and other publications and the weeklies.” The problem is that many of those “other publications” no longer exist, and newspapers and outlets now are often as thin as tissue paper. 

Between 2004 and 2022, the country saw more than 2,500 newspapers shut down, according to a study by Northwestern’s Medill School of Journalism and Media – 242 daily papers and almost 2,300 weekly or non-daily papers. From late 2019, pre-pandemic, through May 2022, 360 papers alone shuttered. As of the middle of last year, 6,380 newspapers still published – 1,230 dailies and 5,150 weeklies. 

Seventy-million people, roughly one-fifth of the population, live in what are called “news deserts” – areas with zero or limited local news coverage. More than half of the nation’s 3,143 counties (1,630) have only one local newspaper, usually a weekly with a small, depleted staff. Newsroom staffing plummeted from 75,000 in 2006 to 31,400 in 2021. Through shutdowns, layoffs and consolidation, overall newspaper employment fell from 365,000 to 106,000 in that same period. 

On an encouraging note, there were 545 digital-only local news sites operating in 2022, most of which launched within the past 15 years. The downside is that many of them operate in more populated or wealthier areas, where there is greater access to funding and advertising and where there already are other outlets for local news. Rural and poorer areas are where local news increasingly dries up. 

The cost is steep, for society and democracy. In communities that lose local news, studies show that voter participation declines in state and local elections. Corruption increases in government and business due to lack of accountability. Absent credible reporting, misinformation and disinformation proliferate as people turn to social media and outlets that confirm their opinions. Tribalism and extreme partisanship take root. Divides widen. News media itself comes under attack for supposedly biased reporting. 

Much of the criticism starts against major media outlets – FoxNews, MSNBC, CNN, the New York Times, etc. – but broad-brush skepticism eventually covers any and all reporting that someone doesn’t like or believe. After almost 35 years in the local newspaper racket, I cannot convey how maddening and discouraging that is. Local newspapers are the corner bodega or mom-and-pop grocery, while cable and network giants are some combo of Wal-Mart and theme park. 

Journalism and reporting are supposed to be held to the same standards at all levels, but too many outlets have sacrificed reporting for opinion in pursuit of clicks, eyeballs and advertising dollars, and it ain’t the local papers. Their overlords have sacrificed reporting. Period. As we approach another presidential election cycle, and powerful interests work to cement positions and dodge scrutiny, it’s fair to wonder if journalism is up to the task of informing the citizenry. 

Which brings me to an essay by former Washington Post and Boston Globe editor Marty Baron, adapted from a speech he gave last month. He endorsed and doubled down on the importance of objectivity in journalism – fair, impartial, accurate, rigorous, open-minded reporting. Now, this wouldn’t seem to be controversial, but in some journalism and academic corners it is. Not that quality reporting shouldn’t be the standard, but that objectivity can’t be attained and can be harmful to the process. 

Critics say that objectivity has gotten us where we are. They say that everyone has opinions and biases, so reporters and news outlets might as well lean into them. Story choices and how they’re told automatically demonstrate bias on some level. Too often, objectivity equates to false balance, both-sides reporting and a hedge against criticism that stories are too slanted, regardless of facts. 

Because journalism has been dominated by white males, there’s nothing objective about stories told through the narrow lens of Caucasian men. Baron’s response is pretty much summed up as: do it better. Start with questions, not answers. Be humble. Listen to people, rather than talk at them. Understand that the world is more complicated than it appears from behind a desk or a laptop. Develop thorough and consistent methods to test and verify reporting, precisely so bias is less likely to affect the work. Own up to mistakes. Try not to repeat them. Report information as gathered. Don’t try to avoid criticism or to appease one side or the other. 

The aim cannot be to curry favor from readers and viewers. It’s to tell the truth, or as close as one can get, and let the chips fall. 

 “There is no profession without flaws,” Baron wrote. “There is not one that always fulfills its highest ideals. Journalism is by no means an exception. We have often failed, embarrassingly and egregiously. We often did harm: Through errors of commission and errors of omission. Because of haste and neglect. Because of prejudice and arrogance. But our failures were not ones of principle. They were failures to live up to principle. “We can – and should – have a vigorous debate about how a democracy and the press can serve the public better. But the answer to our failures as a society and as a profession is not to renounce principles and standards. There is far too much of that taking place in today’s America. The answer is to restate our principles, reinforce them, recommit to them and do a better job of fulfilling them.”

Travelogue Filler, Part Deux: Planes, Ferries, and Catamarans

In a span of 24 hours last weekend, Petite Pump Room Bar & Restaurant in Charlotte Amalie, St. Thomas, USVI hosted two different Gheorghies and their parties. Whit and his group of salty dogs were on their way back to the airport on Saturday, while my wife and I were just beginning our journey on Sunday, grabbing lunch and a couple of Painkillers at the Charlotte Amalie ferry terminal while waiting for our ride to St. John. 

The ownership has ordered the plaque commemorating the historical moment. Look for it next time you're there.

In the spirit of Whit's travelogue chronicling the Caribbean portion of his recent globe-trotting, here's my contribution as a first-timer to the region.

The view from breakfast at Estate Lindholm

Homebase: Cruz Bay, St. John

In particular, Estate Lindholm, a family-run inn with spectacular views of the bay, and exceptional hospitality. The innkeeper, Brion Morissette, was born and raised on the island before going to Woodberry Forest for boarding school, graduating from the University of Colorado and then getting a J.D. at Ole Miss. He returned to the islands to practice law while building the inn on property owned by his parents. We know all these things because he made a practice of joining his guests at breakfast and is exactly the kid of people-loving raconteur you might find in a Hemingway tale. Just a lovely dude, with more stories than we had time.

Where Else: Honeymoon Bay, Hansen Bay, Trunk Bay, Maho Bay, The Beach Bar

I could kill a ton of pixels waxing rhapsodic about the beauty of St. John's beaches, but that'd be like dancing about architecture - you kinda have to see it for yourself. I did learn to snorkel passably, and saw some squid at Hansen Bay that Dave would've enjoyed. Followed a juvenile turtle at Maho Bay for a while, too. 

Also noteworthy, and unknown to me until we got there, drivers in St. John operate on the left side of the road. And the road from Cruz Bay on the island's westernmost point to Hansen Bay nearly all the way east is all kinds of treacherous - switchbacks and hills and blind corners and donkeys, oh my. Didn't hit a single thing in my maiden wrong-sided driving experience.

The Beach Bar is aptly named

Trunk Bay

What:

The aforementioned snorkeling, for sure. I started an early-morning hike up the Caneel Spur to see the views, but a rare island thunderstorm chased me back to the inn, wetter than squirrel caught in a rainstorm. A fun meal at Skinny Legs in Coral Bay - exactly the kind of ramshackle beachside bar one would hope to find in the islands. Multiple trips to Cruz Bay's legendary Beach Bar. Killer meals at ZoZo's, Morgan's Mango, and Lime Inn, all of which were pricey and all of which we'd do again in a hot minute. Got some reading in, as well - finished Colson Whitehead's Nickel Boys (the plot twist at the end blew my damn mind), Philip K Dick's The Man in the High Castle, and Elizabeth Kolbert's The Sixth Extinction (rarely, in my experience, do ostensibly science books use the phrase "handjobs for crows", but this one does).

My favorite afternoon of the trip was spent aboard the Kekoa, a catamaran charter run by the Witbeck family. Theirs is a particularly cool and unique story. The Cliff's Notes version: two brothers built a boat to sell, the buyer ditched her in a storm, the brothers salvaged her, then nearly lost her in another storm, and now sail her around the islands with their kids and crew. Yeti did a really excellent video on the operation:

We got to sail with Jamison Witbeck (his teenaged son Sully was a more than capable first-mate), and the winds were up just enough to allow us some serious giddyup. We snorkeled at Mingo Island, where we saw a shipwreck, and at Little St. James, where the reef had recovered really nicely from recent trauma. Free rum drinks and beers, a perfect island soundtrack, a fun group of fellow passengers all served to blunt the momentary pain I experienced when I lost my favorite 17th Street Surf Shop hat in the breeze on the return back to Cruz Bay. Rookie mistake. Bygones.

Takeaways:

• Time spent with the people you love is a blessing. That time spent in a place of immense natural beauty is so much the more so.
• St. John is a brilliant place. Literally didn't hear anyone utter a cross word to anyone else. I'm sure it happens, 'cause humans, but the vibe on the island did nothing to dispel the popular perception of the place.
• Make sure you read your itinerary before you head on vacation. We booked our trip in December, and I didn't remember until we got to the airport in St. Thomas on our way home that we were flying home to a different airport (DCA) than the one we flew out of (IAD). Little hiccup, that.
• If you're gonna get the tasting menu at Lime Inn, wear your big boy pants, and maybe let out the waist a bit.
• Donkeys do not understand the concept of right of way.
• I'd love to do that trip again with a group of Gheorghies, so if anyone's got any ideas...

Guys and Dolls

Some of you played with dolls when you were a kid. I did. It was cool! I mean it.

Mine looked like this, if memory serves.

Guess I should have hung onto them.

My mom even built me a "Batcave" out of a cardboard box with a hole in the top and a pole that Batman and Robin would use to get to it. It was awesome. My friends thought it was pretty boss -- not available in stores!

Later on, for lads, "dolls" were renamed "action figures" somewhere in the mix. I never had a G.I. Joe doll with that mangy hairlike substance all over his head and face, but some friends did. G.I. Joe would not like being called a "doll," punks. By the time the little G.I. Joe plastic hairless numbers came out in the 1980's, they were "action figures" for sure. Alongside my Luke Skywalker and his Landspeeder. 

My sister played with a ton of dolls. Baby dolls and Cabbage Patch Kids and what-not. I don't think she had Betsy Wetsy.

But she definitely had Barbie.

And the dream house and the pink Corvette. Multiple Barbies, including Malibu Barbie. And Skipper. And Ken. 

My daughters did the Barbie thing as well. I will never forget staying up all night putting together hearing about how Santa put together the Barbie dream house one Christmas Eve. They spent years collecting and playing and scenario-scripting and, yeah, fighting over Barbies.

And there were Barbie books and toys and cartoons and TV shows.

But this... this is something else.

I'm bizarrely intrigued by this. I'm sure my daughters and sister will be even more so.

Travelogue Filler: Planes, Trains, and Catamarans

Greetings, gheorghies. It has been a while. 

While most of you were rounding out your spring with college basketball, baseball's hope-springs-eternal season (mon dieu, the Mets already), and silly things like going to work, this gheorghie was draining every bank account and leveraging his organization's generous leave policy while soaking in life as if it were in the home stretch. It's almost like I'm on sabbatical like rob!

Travelogues are obnoxious and filled with look-at-me stuff, but since our tiny dictator is now on Island Time and you lazy bastards aren't posting with any regularity, you're stuck with it. 

Here's what I've been up to lately. Eyes wide open as if you care, people. 

As the squirrel out front told you, my travels began in the United Kingdom.

Edinburgh, Scotland
March 9 - 13
13 fraternity brothers/rugby players and fans from William and Mary
Drinking pints in pubs and watching rugby
Spots: The Last Drop, White Hart Inn, All Bar One, Oxford Bar, Murrayfield Stadium, Castle

Not four years, but 34 and counting

Takeaways: 

• Nothing beats old friends; make big efforts to see them, travel with them
• If your group lacks beautiful tradition, make them up from scratch and repeat them
• Rugby = universal camaraderie
• The Scottish brogue can be challenging to some, even a few of our nerd friends from WandM

Barcelona, Spain

March 13 - 17
My elder daughter and I
Catching up, touring the city, eating and drinking like royalty

Spots: Paradiso, Dow Jones Bar, Dr. Stravinsky, Maná 75, Surf House, La Sagrada Família

Life near the Med, Jager at Dow Jones Bar once the market crashed

Go to Paradiso and order ridiculous drinks

Takeaways: 

• Nothing beats seeing beloved family, especially your first-born after she's been half a world away for months
• Barcelona is as cool a coastal culture as I've encountered
• Send your kid abroad if you can; go visit them in their new immersion if at all possible
• The Catalan Español can be challenging to some, even a cunning linguist from WandM

British Virgin Islands: Tortola, Scrub Island, Anegada, Jost Van Dyke, Norman Island, Peter Island

March 24 - April 1

7 would-be castaways on a 42' catamaran
Tooling around the Caribbean and coming ashore for nightlife
Bars: Soggy Dollar, Foxy's, Willy T's, Bitter End, Saba Rock, Nova, Lobster Trap, Pirate's Bight

Takeaways: 

• I'm a sucker for a beautiful backdrop, and a view of that water down there gets me every time
• Painkillers are wondrous and live up to their name... piña coladas, martinis, Mt. Gay + tonics, rum punches, margaritas, and a Carib or Red Stripe w/ lime ain't bad, either
• Don't drive a Jeep on the salt flats
• Karaokeing "Going Back to Cali" is a winner, even outside the U.S.
• Mal de Debarquement Syndrome is real and can be challenging to some, even an old salt like me

4,069 miles separate The White Hart Inn and the Soggy Dollar. They couldn't be more different in look, but the feel -- well, that's the same. Whether it's Robert Burns (And surely ye'll be your pint-stoup / and surely I'll be mine / And we'll tak' a cup o’ kindness yet / for auld lang syne) or Jimmy Buffett (Livin’ it up / It’s takin’ all of his time / But he ain’t givin’ it up / It suits his temperament fine), it's about new times with old friends and family. 

Back to work this week. It's a doozy already. So get out there and live your lives to the very last drop, gheorghies. 

Cheers...