Been a minute since we posted about ground-breaking food innovation/disgusting culinary adventurism. That one tipped the scale of intrigued to explosive vomit well towards the latter. This week, though, as I wandered into my local Giant in search of coffee grounds near closing time (because you wouldn't like me in the morning without caffeine), I saw a sign advertising this:
Wednesday, August 30, 2023
Fusion Ain't Just for Oppenheimer
Monday, August 28, 2023
I read two books!
I read Harlem Shuffle by Colson Whitehead a while ago because Dave suggested it. It was great so I read the sequel, Crook Manifesto, while on vacation. It was great too, sometimes laugh-out-loud funny, other times chillingly evil. Both books read like screenplays and Dave said Netflix should turn them into a series. He's right. We're currently figuring out who to cast but we agree on Eddie Murphy for the lead.
I polished Crook Manifesto off in two days and followed it up with Underground Railroad, another SoD (and maybe OBXD) recommendation (from 2016, I need to keep up). It was not at all laugh-out-loud funny but it was often chillingly evil. I am not eager to write about literature given the much greater qualifications of the Daves on staff here. However, I am comfortable opining that Underground Railroad is an incredible piece of writing. Each chapter is either a new setting with a new vibe or an eight page backstory of a secondary character. The main character rides the underground railroad (which in this novel is literally a railroad under the ground) to different destinations. As the first stationmaster tells her, "The problem is that one destination may be more to our liking than another .... You won't know what waits above until you pull in." Sometimes it reads like Brave New World, other times it's like Blood Meridian, there's a chapter like The Lottery through the eyes of Anne Frank, a smattering of Sula and maybe Beloved at the beginning, then it feels like Animal Farm for a few minutes and then it hits your stomach with a crowbar at the end. But throughout it's a horror movie, just nonstop dystopian misery. It's a must-read.
Friday, August 25, 2023
Fresh Friday Music, Nostalgia Style
Good morning, gheorghies. Good morning, lescoolies. No, that wasn't your browser on the blink again.
More good music to throw your way for a weekend. My friend Ned and his video design chum worked some real magic on a tune that conjures up old images for me.
I've highlighted my old growin-up buddy Ned Henry 'round these parts here before. In March of last year, his dad passed at age 95, a couple of years after his mom had left us unexpectedly. His folks -- Bucky and Barbara -- were truly amazing... 15-20 years older than most of my friends' folks, they were grandparently, congenial, hospitable, in on every joke, and always quick to whip up a mean breakfast when I woke up on their couch with a hangover at age 17. They seemed never to age, and my memories of them in their 80's and 90's conjure nearly identical images of them in their 50's and 60's when they lovingly took care of "The Whit."
In 2016, five of us from the old gang took Ned's mom, a William and Mary alum from way back, to a Jimmy Buffett (Ned's fave) show in a limo. Say what you will about Buffett, but that experience -- especially now knowing what lay in store soon thereafter, is a memory we all will continue to treasure. Especially because COVID stole our good buddy Bill a few years later.
At the show, I offered to hoist Mrs. B up onto my shoulders so she could see, but I was shot down. I mean, you can see how diminutive she was!
Plastic cup chalices... |
She frequently chugged around town in a baby blue 1965 Mustang with a big smile. You saw her coming a long way away, and that was probably for the best, safety-wise.
Anyway, this year Ned and his siblings took on the job of finally going through the old house and his folks' belongings. Unenviable a task for reasons of sadness as well as burden; when I asked Ned how long his family had lived there, he pondered, "Since the Kennedy administration... maybe Eisenhower." Whew. It just sold last month... God bless the new owners and the work ahead of them.
Just before the house went on the market, I woke up one June morning to a belated flurry of texts from Ned and his little brother, both back in town to sift through Henry trash and treasures, imploring me to come meet them out in the old neighborhood. They had been boozing on gin and tonics and blaring the Violent Femmes. They texted that flare sometime after midnight. Somewhat surprisingly, I was already sacked out and caught it on the flip side.
But that didn't stop me from listening to them wax nostalgic and a bit plaintive the next morning, and right thereafter, I sat down and scratched out some lyrics to a song I then offered up if he had any interest. To his amazing credit, as soon as he got back to New Orleans he had figured out the music and was laying down the track. He tweaked my words just a touch and made me feel really good about the thought. He's a great dude.
Ned released the track a few weeks ago and had a Crescent City cohort expertly compile a video with footage from the old neighborhood, Ned's NOLA home, and some photos of the old days. At the 1:46 and 2:54 marks you can see a few long-lost pics of a big galoot with his whole life ahead of him...
Anyway, if you feel like it, check out Ned, old Unit 11 (the Mustang), and our collaboration in this here music video.
Thursday, August 24, 2023
Poetry Up Your Ass
Wednesday, August 23, 2023
Let Me Clear My [Long-Assed] Throat
As reported by "Good Morning America" and other sources, Brights Zoo in Limestone, Tennessee is leaving the task of naming of a highly rare baby giraffe to the general public. Sort of.
The giraffe's rarity owes to its spotlessness. No, not like Rob's arrest record or Zman's car floor -- it's stark lack of the same brown spots that its parents bear. It's the sort of thing that makes a father perk up and ask the mother where the hell she she was 15 months ago. (Sad answer: necking in another pasture.)
This adorable, spot-free giraffetus popped out on July 31.
According to Brights:
"She is the only solid-colored reticulated giraffe living anywhere on the planet."I had to check on that reticulated part. Yeah, the only one without spots. Nothing weird, people. But it is odd! Let's name her!
Oh, wait... you're simply choosing from four names predetermined by the zoo. Vote before September 4 on their Facebook page if you'd like.
Your choices:
The names and their meanings in Swahili are below:
- Kipekee - Unique
- Firali - Unusual or Extraordinary
- Shakiri - She is most beautiful
- Jamella - One of great beauty
Vote today.
For posterity, here are the Top 10 Names Not Selected as Finalists for the Baby Girl Giraffe with No Spots:
10. Plain Jane
9. Spopposite
8. Rudolpha
7. Destiny (full name: Destined for Therapy)
6. Teaneck
5. Babs' Uvula
4. Uneque
3. Browntown
2. Semigazelle
1. Reticulaura
Write one of those in if you wish...
Tuesday, August 22, 2023
Hurricane Filler
Monday, August 21, 2023
Gheorghasbord
Friday, August 18, 2023
GTB's Definitive Women's World Cup Final Preview
Wednesday, August 16, 2023
College Breakups and Shakeups
Monday, August 14, 2023
Emergency Absurd Filler
Saturday, August 12, 2023
Accent on the Funny
In one of those occasional coincidences of randomized music enjoyment, Ive heard "Outfit" by Drive-By Truckers and Jason Isbell (the latter's live version) several times over the past few days. The song has an admonition from a father to a son that goes, "Don't worry about losing your accent/A Southern man tells better jokes". Which is a lovely segue into today's topic.
I stumbled quite haphazardly across Corey Ryan Forrester during the early days of the pandemic. If you looked at him, and listened to him talk, you'd make some assumptions. You'd miss by a mile, too. The Chickamauga, GA (home of Marjorie Taylor Green) native is a deft comedian, an unabashed liberal, open about his mental health issues, and a thoughtful essayist.
Here's his alter ego, wrestling champ The Buttercream Dream on the topic of mental illness:
And finally, another character, this one a Southern politician:
Forrester is part of a cracker comedy collective known as WellRED Comedy, which also features Trae Crowder and Drew Morgan. The Bitter Southerner did a recent story on the group that's both a good history and an insightful look at their complicated relationship with their heritage.
I don't know much about Morgan, but I've gotten into Crowder's stuff after finding him through Forrester. He's reliably excellent online in talking about hypocrisy in conservative politics, as you can see here.
WATCH: “The people of Ohio said to Republicans — uh, I think I’ma vote for my vote SHOULD count… this is all about the future of American democracy, y’all… it is THIS close.” 🇺🇸
— The Tennessee Holler (@TheTNHoller) August 9, 2023
As always Tennessee’s own @traecrowder has the best takes on everything 🔥 pic.twitter.com/qYdipgsrZB
He's also the headliner of the WellRED team's tours, where he brings the funny:
Talked about Jason Aldean this weekend. pic.twitter.com/AteCkaNWc4
— Trae Crowder (@traecrowder) July 24, 2023
I guess Southern men do tell pretty good jokes.
Thursday, August 10, 2023
Trippin'
Hampton Inn, bringing the funny |
I'm an excellent photographer |
Tuesday, August 08, 2023
Teaser Filler
Friday, August 04, 2023
Great Moments In Local Advertising (NY/NJ Metro Edition) - A zman and Marls Joint, Alternatively Titled "Marls and zman's personal Chinese Democracy"
You've been waiting years for this one and now seems like the time to let it rip.
A recent G:TB comments discussion involving the classic Jhoon Rhee Tae Kwon Do commercial (featuring FoG:TB Chun Rhee delivering the now famous "Nobody bothers me either!" line) prompted Zman and me to go down a rabbit hole of local ads from our childhood in the NY/NJ metro area.
zcommentary is in blue. I had a blast exchanging these vintage ads with Marls. We dug up some serious gems. It started as a 10 Best list so of course it now has something like 12 entries.
The Nevele:
Mount Airy Lodge: Have a fling in the spring in the Poconos!
The Nevele reminded me of another resort commercial, beautifuuuuuul Mount Airy Loooodge. Although the Nevele had the harder beat, the Mount Airy Lodge ad makes it clear that it's the place for lovers to make their lovin'.
Children's Aid Society:
Coronet Baby Furniture: This one features the tag line "no talking orangutans" which Z mentioned in the aforementioned Jhoon Rhee discussion. TR and I may have been the only ones to pick up the reference, but nevertheless, these commercials are classics. Low production values, porn staches, and cheesy outfits all scream Long Island in the mid-80's. Um, when was the last time you went to the Island? There are plenty of guys out there with the same staches and Mets Starter jackets they were rocking when this ad first aired.
Grand Hotel (aka TWICE MORE!!!):
Tommy Tunes:
Undoubtedly my best pull. Tommy Tunes was the place to go in Bergen County if you were looking to pimp your ride in the 1980s/90s. The woman in this ad is the epitome of North Jerzy beauty circa 1989. Marls was so taken with this commercial that he found himself deep in an internet wormhole researching the guy who owned the store.
Sasson Jeans (Featuring the NY Rangers):
Tight designer jeans, late 70's hockey hair, a disco soundtrack, synchronized skating, off key singing and awkward hand gestures made this ad an instant favorite. In fact, the slogan "Ooh La La" became a nickname for Ron Duguay - the ranger with the longest hair in the ad. In his second season with the Rangers, Duguay parlayed his new sex symbol status into relationships with Bianca Jagger, Cheryl Tiegs, & Kim Alexis.
In related noos, they NY Post is now reporting that Ooh La La is now dating Sarah Palin. Oh la la how the mighty have fallen.
I remember this one too. Bamberger's! Marls will always take an opportunity to dump on the Strangers to the Cup.
The Money Store:
We couldn't do this post without at least one spot featuring Phil Rizzuto for the Money Store. And how about these interest rates?
Crazy Eddie:
We couldn't do this without Crazy Eddie either.
And nobody beats The Wiz! This was a great place to buy stuff that fell off the back of a truck, or that was stolen off the back of a truck, or that was old and used but presented to the buyer as a "floor sample." I bought one such deeply discounted "floor sample" at The Wiz in Paramus, a Yamaha pre-amp for the Unit M stereo (why the hell did we have a Carver amp with no pre-amp?) that survived for maybe two months before self-destructing. More importantly, their jingle inspired Biz Markie.
Newmark & Lewis:
Seaman's Furniture gets the nod because (1) "See Seaman's first!" was ubiquitous even if no one particular ad is memorable, and (2) it provides context for Phife's line "Bust off on your couch now you got Seaman's Furniture." Perhaps they're affiliated with Dr. Seaman from a previous post.
Tuesday, August 01, 2023
New Fettermans Just Dropped
We fancy ourselves on the cutting edge of certain social and political trends, which is why so many of our readers come to this space. For example, we were up early on Cocaine Bear and Mumford and Sons, among too many things to count. And let's not forget who introduced the broader populace to John Fetterman - how do you think Stephen Colbert found out about the Mayor of Braddock, PA?
We got the rise of that last fucking guy pretty right, too, burnishing our bipartisan bona fides in the realm of politics.
All of which is preface to this early (but perhaps not too early) look at a newcomer on the political scene who's may have some of the right stuff.
Rep. Jeff Jackson (D-NC) is a first-term Congressman representing North Carolina's 14th Congressional District, a sprawling area that spreads from Charlotte to the Tennessee border. The 40 year-old Jackson is straight out of central casting: handsome, married father of three, holder of a J.D. from the University of North Carolina, and a veteran who served in the Army in Afghanistan and remains an officer in the Army National Guard. Importantly, for the purposes of our interest, he's a very effective communicator who's savvy in the ways of modern social media.
Jackson's straightforward missives on Twitter and other platforms are at once homey, easily understood, and insightful. He does an excellent job demystifying Washington's arcana and calling out hypocrisy (it must be said that he hasn't been on Capitol Hill long enough to get jaded, so we'll keep our eyes open).
Here's a recent example that neatly encapsulate Rep. Jackson's style:
Team Outrage in Congress has been very busy pretending to be mad about all sorts of stuff.
— Rep. Jeff Jackson (@JeffJacksonNC) July 25, 2023
My bet:
Up next, Barbie. pic.twitter.com/Cph8KeczF3
There's a long way to go from freshman Congressman to higher office and greater impact, and we once had high hopes for a fresh-faced North Carolina lawyer-turned-legislator with a great story until that dude turned out to be a creep with a problem keeping his dick in his pants. But Jeff Jackson's got something, says us, and us has a track record.
For what it's worth, we're also keeping an eye on Abigail Spanberger (D-VA), who served in the CIA for nearly a decade and was the first Democrat in 38 years to win Virginia's 7th District in 2019 - that's the same District that Eric Cantor wasn't conservative enough to retain, if it offers any sense of the political talent required for a Democrat to win twice.Spanberger recently announced her candidacy for Governor in 2025, meaning she won't seek reelection for her House seat. That makes me nervous, frankly, as the Dems need as many seats as possible, but Spanberger will be a formidable gubernatorial force, and if she's successful in her campaign, she'd be immediately on the short list of 2028 Democratic Presidential candidates. Keep your eyes on the Commonwealth, friends.