"To The Pain" CFB Picks: What Week Is This?

I have returned from Vegas just in time to post this. Hooray me.

Mark's Picks

After a truly miserable slate of games last week, we're treated a really nice day of intra-conference battles. Most of the best games, outside of LSU-Georgia, take place in the evening so rest up, get a good base and be prepared to stay up later than you should with Danimal and I.

California @ Oregon (-36): I've been riding Oregon throughout their non-conference schedule and I'm not about to stop just because the PAC-12 schedule has begun. California may be the worst team in the entire conference this year. At least they look like it so far. I don't expect a trip to Autzen Stadium to change that. These lines continue to be huge for the Ducks but if any offense can handle it, it's this one. I'm sure taking Oregon every week will come back to bite me at some point but it won't be this week. Ducks win! A woo-ooh! 

Stanford (-9) @ Washington State: Stanford may not be as flashy or as explosive as Oregon but they're nearly as good and certainly a tough enough team to handle a neutral site game in Seattle against Wazzu. I was surprised that this line wasn't double digits but Washington State looks to be much improved this year…on defense. I know, you and I are just as surprised as Mike Leach. His offense is still mediocre but his defense has carried the day so far. Beating USC and hanging with Auburn in a tight game on the plains. I think the Cougars will make this a game for the first half before they eventually wear down, as most teams do agains the physical, relentless attack of the Cardinal. Stanford wins by two touchdowns.

Wisconsin @ Ohio State (-6): While everyone has been busy talking about how shitty Louisville's schedule is, and it definitely is. Ohio State doesn't exactly have a gauntlet of top tier opponents awaiting them either. After this game the Buckeyes may not face another top 25 team until the final game of the year against Michigan. And there's no guarantee the Wolverines will be in the top 25 after two marrow escapes against Toledo and UConn. I don't believe Ohio State is a top 5 team in the country but they're easily the best team in the Big Ten. Wisconsin was screwed by the PAC-12 officials at the end of their game against Arizona State but that doesn't change the fact that they were losing to the Sun Devils late. If Wisconsin can't win in Tempe, I don't see them making Ohio State sweat in Columbus. Buckeyes.

Danimal Picks

The GTB pick’em contest has Mark leading 9-3 vs Danimal’s 6-6. You’d think 3 straight weeks of going 2-1 would allow Danimal to pick up a game or two, but not to be.

Oklahoma -3.5 at ND: Home dogs are the Irish. The Sooners are coming to town with the “Belldozer”, Blake Bell starting at QB. Blake was the first person to score a TD on the Irish last year eight games into the season. He’s a bruiser of a QB at 6’6” and 260 pounds. OKLA had a bye week this past Saturday. The week before they played Tulsa where the Blakester threw for 400+ yards and 4 TD’s. (“Well look at the big brains on Blake!”) Not bad. The Irish are, well, the Irish. I liken them to Mark’s boy Aaron Murray, the Game Manager. That’s what Brian Kelly and his team are - they are game managers. They’ve improved significantly on the defensive side of the ball, allowing on average over 400 yards in weeks 1 & 2 against Temple & Michigan and 275 yards against Purdue & Michigan State respectively. BK has managed the QB formerly known as Tommy Turnover with just the right amount of caution. They lack the catalysts on offense this year, at least in the backfield to wow anyone. After last week’s nice showing by Corey Robinson, true frosh WR and son of the David Robinson, ND enters with some really nice depth among the receiving corp. No real standouts but I think just enough solidity to keep it competitive. I don’t know who the eff wins this game but I think it will be tiiieeeet, 2-3 points either way.
Oh Danny Boy….the pipes the pipes are calling you…..GO IRISH!

USC +6 at ASU: Love me some Tempe, especially after last week’s post. Guilty as charged, this is one of those “feel it” picks, filled with laziness and ambivalence, UNTIL I looked into a tad bit further and hey, whaddayaknow, the data substantiates the gut…kinda. If you watched much of the Sun Devils game against Stanford last week, you know the 42-28 final score was not as close as the final tally. That’s not a poke at ASU, Stanford is the real deal. I’m just saying that what looks like a respectable finish on paper was in reality, very close to a bona fide blowout. The dillio is as follows….USC’s passing game is hurrible, averaging just under one hundred and 69 yards per contest. The good news is their opponents average just over that number, at 171. The TROJANS, (as an aside...when I see “TROJANS” I always think of the time in high school when my father comes into the house to tell me he found my “doo-dads” in the car, of course referring to the box of condoms, unopened TROJANS, that me and I think all males that weren’t having sex had in their possession to show that the we were having sex even though we actually weren’t, but it was really horrifying and embarrassing b/c my dad who is a super dude and I just didn’t have that sort of bond ya know…ugh, it makes me cringe thinking about it today) have 4 guys, 3 really, that run the ball with any regularity, all with a greater than 5 yard average per carry. They also have too many turnovers, 8 in fact, but something tells me they’re going to clean that up this week. I’m 1-0 with Laney’s Lackey’s….and I think he/they are so desperate to salvage things in SoCal this year that they are further going to straighten their shit out and who knows, maybe even get a V this week. Ya smell it? Smells like….Victory. DOO-DADS!

soooooo haaard…..this last pick is just really really tough. I don’t know who to choose from. I’ll put myself out there – probably will only “bet” a few of these but it’s who I like…
Miami (OH) +24.5 vs ILL
WI +7 vs Ohio State tempted to take CAL vs the Ducks cuz that’s A LOT of points plus Mark is sure to take the Ducks…maybe next week we’ll have another head-to-head.
LSU +3 vs GA….and the pick goes to…..

WISCAAAANSIN getting 7 against the 2nd biggest douche bag in college football, Urban Meyer. Urban gets taken down, taken down to China Town tomorrow. This is an emotional pick, so what. I want to root harder than normal against the Buckeyes. Plus I love saying WISCAAAANSIN! Buck’ schedule to date must be the weakest amongst D1 schools in the world. It’s pathetic. Fuck the Bucks. Go Beeeadgers!