It's oft a dangerous game to anoint a new Gheorghie, especially if he's a baseball player, given that demographic's predilection for thinking America needs somehow to be made great again. But we're going to take a few tentative steps in the direction, for reasons that'll soon be obvious.
Cal Raleigh (just a terrific American athlete name) is a catcher for the Seattle Mariners. He grew up rooting for the Boston Red Sox and idolizing Jason Varitek (a plus!) in Cullowhee, North Carolina (hmmm - it's a college town, but it's in the middle of nowhere. could be a push.). Played his college ball at Florida State University (meh, but not disqualifying) and on Cape Cod for the Harwich Mariners (auspicious!).
After being drafted by Seattle in 2018, he made his major league debut in 2021. He's been with the big club ever since. This season, he leads the American League in homeruns with 23. He's second in the circuit in slugging and OPS, behind Aaron Judge's outrageous numbers.
All of this is interesting, even excellent. But we don't bring Cal Raleigh to your attention for his baseballing exploits, at least not entirely. No, we're here to celebrate something else about the M's backstop. You see, Cal Raleigh has a giant rear end. A prodigious posterior. A ridiculous rump.
If you Google "
the big dumper", you're directed to Cal Raleigh's smiling mug, because that's the nickname teammate Jerred Kelenic bestowed upon him in 2020. Get a load of the bobblehead Seattle honored him with earlier this season:
Raleigh's Instagram is all baseball and family, and we're not gonna dig any deeper looking for trouble. We'll just celebrate the man and his giant ass, and hope he's not a fan of an entirely different giant ass.
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Incredible content. For some reason this reminds me of some digital fm modulation I was hearing on the road last weekend, where the country stylings of George Strait kept getting overtaken by Apple Bottom Jeans.
ReplyDeleteIt really made me miss the old analog days where songs would kind of cross bleed into each other as the signals crossed. Now it's like an on/off switch that I find unsettling.
I just learned of the big dumper earlier this week. Impressive hitting stats, especially for a catcher. And yes, a great nickname.
ReplyDeleteHarwich Mariners! That's my Cape League team! Now I like him even more.
ReplyDeleteWhere is everyone?
ReplyDeleteAlso, I’ve seen the band Carbon Leaf twice in a week. I’m biased but these peeps are top shelf.
I guess The Big Dumper has everyone distracted checking that thang out.
ReplyDeleteI got home about seven last night and the house felt warm, which is typical when I bike home in 90 degree weather. I soon realized that my AC wasn't cooling, so I went to check it out and found the coil frozen solid. I got it defrosted, caught the end of the game 1, and went to bed feeling victorious. This morning I realized that the HVAC unit outside isn't working.
Now we wait for Donnie the HVAC guy to call and tell me he's on the way. And I must accept that I'm handy enough to *kinda* fix things, but that's about it.
afternoon everybody
ReplyDeleteDan!!
ReplyDeleteFor those who frequent the watering holes of Norfolk, Virginia, there’s a lovely little spot in the neighborhood of Ghent called A.W. Shucks. If you stop by, say hello to the barkeeps for me and maybe check to see if a Lester girl is shucking oysters and serving food. Worth the trip.
ReplyDeleteAlso, say hello to me, because I’m here now and most Fridays drinking to the blessed privilege of the 4-day workweek. Cheers.
Speaking of HVAC guys, I had my HVAC system inspected two days ago and as a preventative measure the HVAC guy replaced a capacitor for an ungodly sum of money. The next day the AC wouldn't work so the HVAC guy came back and said the blower motor is broken and I had to pay for half of it up front so I did. Today the HVAC guy's boss called me and asked if I wanted to replace the whole system because the blower motor is the most expensive piece of the system and this way I'd have a warranty on the whole thing. The next word out of my mouth was "Candidly." Just fyi, if a lawyer ever begins talking to you with "Candidly" it means "Why don't you fuck yourself." I said "Candidly, when [HVAC guy] came here my system worked great, then he did some preventative maintenance and $600 later the whole thing is broken. So no, I don't want to buy a system from you." And the boss replied "Look, I'm not trying to sell you a new system." And I said "When you asked me if I want to buy a new system, it sounds like you're trying to sell me a new system. I don't want a new system, let's just replace the blower motor." It all got done today and my house is again temperate.
ReplyDeleteFour day work week is brilliant. Cheers indeed. You're the new Norm.
ReplyDeleteThought I was Sam. Ended up Norm.
ReplyDeleteAnd I spent a long time in college approaching amateur females for the job of inspecting my HVAC.
ReplyDeleteAn HVAC she wanted, my blower motor she got?
ReplyDeletemy ass is bigger and rounder than that.
ReplyDeleteeventful day for your boy. up at 4:00 am for an early flight to denver. kid picked me up at the airport and we were off. spent some time in a walmart in oglalla, nebraska. didn’t see any gheorghies there. drank a lot of coffee. just sharted in a hotel in omaha. the lesson: always pack one more pair of underwear than you think you’ll need. and go easy on the coffee.
ReplyDeleteAging is a gift.
ReplyDeleteat dinner with my kid at a brewpub in the shadow of charles schwab field, home of the college baseball world series. coastal carolina/auburn super regional on one of the tellys. kid at the plate for the chants with a one of a kind name. a name that i recognized.
ReplyDeletemy wife was in a mom's group with a bunch of other first-time mothers right after our first kid was born, 23+ years ago. one of the other mothers had a kid a few years later that they gave a completely made up name. we used to joke about it, creating more and more outlandish fake names for children. that same kid with the not-name was at bat on the television.
the kid with the made up name went yard. and then a few innings later, went yard again. weird world we got.
I wonder if the name generator phenomenon was related to the proliferation of various Britney spellings?
ReplyDeleteAround the same time a friend of my wife’s had a girl with same name, different spelling, as the kid from coastal with the big bat.