The Twelve Days of Gheorghemas: Day 11

On the eleventh day of Gheorghemas, Big Gheorghe gave to me...

 

Eleven Months of Awesome
Ten Reasons Being
Late Gifts Still Worth Giving
Eight Chapters on Music in a Post That's Got Way Too Many Words in It, For Which I Apologize Seven Books For Reading (Seriously) 
Six Beers Worth Drinking 
A fiiiiifth Golden Ring..... (please?) 
Four Years of Marcus
Three Scummers Picking
Two albums to look forward to; and 
A fat guy in a jersey

This image can be found by ghooghling 'gheorghemas'

As we noted yesterday, 2014 sucked in the real world. We didn't exactly light it up here, either. Our 289 posts represented the lowest G:TB post count (post count!) since 2007. I’d like to think we made up for it in quality. I’d also think that women find me irresistible. 

Despite the diminished output, we did manage to drop some entertaining bloggery. Other than sports and music, by far the most popular topic of G:TB interest in 2014 was weed. The world at large could've used a lot more of that.

As always, enjoy this trip through the year in Gheorghe. Apologies if I didn't include one of your personal favorites. This is hard goddamn work.

January

Because of a chronological quirk*, 2013’s Gheorghemas didn’t technically end until March 25, so things got off to a bit of a slow start this year. 

* - that's an excuse for someone's laziness.

We foreshadowed the late-year trips down musical memory rabbit holes.

We said we were going to do a Drug Week, and dammit, we did a Drug Week:

• Where Are They Now?
• Public Service Announcement
• Cocaine Has a Stupid Profit Margin
• A Very Special G:TB Report

Which actually turned into Drug Month, or as several of our contributors call it, a month.

But not before one of the great mid-major hoops road trips in recorded history. 

February

We spent essentially no time on the Super Bowl, but we loved the Winter Olympics (so much so that we used the phrase, ‘We’re all Ice Dancers today. Especially Dave.), proving yet again that we’re citizens of the world.

• Acutus Immuniditiam Stolidus
• Fashion is So(chi) Dumb
• Fab Filler
• USA!!!

Zman took us all on a Kafkaesque journey through the American healthcare system. This was likely the greatest public service we did in 2014. If you don’t count all the Drug Week stuff.

Because of Jonah Keri, we got to celebrate Curtis Pride.

We inadvertently stumbled upon the Baconbaking recipe guestie recurring feature. For which we are all grateful.

Virginia is for (quick) lovers, a post that kicked off G:TB Sex Week. Seldom in the course of recorded human history was more written about a subject by lesser-qualified authors. Though the eldest G:TBer (non-Mr. KQ category) did opine about old people making love.

March

The Teej gave the world this gif, and joy was spread across the land.

For the third time since 2008, we chronicled a Tribe run to the CAA tournament championship game. This one ended even more cruelly than did the others. And zman’s ‘How are they going to blow this?” in the comment thread for the final is probably responsible. Not sure how he lives with himself.

To add insult to injury, TR called us all losers. And that’s okay.

Zman bouillabaissed, though there's been more baisse in the Drafts since March.

Clarence posted something!

Clarence posted something again! (Sure, it was Day 12 of Gheorghemas 2013, but nobody here keeps track of shit like that.)

In a very cool guest post, Ms. Green Went to Washington. How is it that Teej and Baconbaking are the best parents in this group?

Mark lauded a Florida hoops team that might’ve been my favorite non-Tribe squad in a decade.

April

Man, the first part of April was lame as shit. It was mostly filler. And filler about filler. But we picked it up as the weather grew warmer.

Marls ‘previewed’ the Final Four. It was…something.

TR gave us an OKC travelogue. In case we ever get there.

Once again, we lost the Washington Post Peeps Diorama Contest. Start thinking now about our 2015 entry.

A new Old 97s record dropped this month. And, boy, was it a long overdue tour de force.

As always, zman on the law is entertaining. Won’t be long now before he starts his own spinoff blog. The Mork & Mindy to our Happy Days.

We sandwiched a post about Ta-Nehisi Coates between two about colonoscopy and a squirrel-inspired DJ. You might get better writing on other blogs, but you have to look hard to find more eclecticism.

The Wizards made the Eastern Conference semis.

May

The fifth month posted the year’s worst posts/days ratio, clocking in at a meager 0.677 ppd. (September, if you care, logged a robust .90 ppd. And September 2008, with a prolific 1.33 ppd, is the most productive posting month in this blog’s illustrious history. Says something about Septembers. Hell if I know what that is.)

James Nielsen ran the first-ever, and still-only sub-5:00 Beer Mile. 

Baconbaking smoked hog for 7 hours. Holy shit did it look good.

Mark and I had a generational divide.

Nuck Few York.

Rugby > Football.

Yet more content on booze and pot. Seems there was an unintended theme this year. And every year.

Y'all hated Muppet gore.

June

Not even half-way through the year and I'm growing weary of typing. This shit is hard, man. Anyone else want to do this next year?

I tried my hand at zman-style legal analysis. Zazzle was involved.

And then zman did a me-style weed and The Wire post. Worlds collided all over this thing.

We entered the phrase 'lollipop parenting' into the lexicon.

As is our custom, we allowed Dave to pen a World Cup preview. As is his custom, he did with atrocious formatting. We had several other World Cup posts, some of which were more than just pictures. We like the soccer, it seems. Teej's 'Kings of the Dive-berian Peninsula, amirite?' headline might've been the year's best.

Danimal met Tiger. In 2006. Sort of.

Z was all about that baisse. Again.

Daniel Bard as a metaphor for mortality. We're deep as an ocean.

Mark's annual NBA draft post was overshadowed by Shlara's competing NBA draft post. Controversy!

My kid is a ninja.

July

The first full month of summer certainly encouraged some lazy-ass blogging. Filler on top of filler was the theme, apparently. And if you're like me, when you go back to look at the month, all of the video clips are associated with the wrong posts. Which makes for some really fucked up juxtapositions.

The Teej did some mascot research. His primary finding: the Griffin still has no pants.

We're going to Canada!

Amidst more weed posts and some filler of pictures from foreign cultures, zman entitled a post, 'Vagina Kayak'.

Indonesia's new President is a metalhead. Rock on, archipelago.

Mark busted out a 'hatters gonna hat' post tag. Might be the year's best.

We all had a blissful Teej.

August

Mark's got some grey creeping into his beard. Which is still phenomenal.

Pop hired Becky Hammon, and KQ used the occasion to protest our commingling of processed meats and vaginas. Or something.

Jesus, we posted about weed again.

And we posted about NBA coaches again.

Sean Carter is a data scientist.

Shlara committed actual journalism. 

Jesus once more, zman posted about surgery again. Though 'Pour One Out for My Vas Deferens' is a pretty catchy headline.

Sad news about Jack Urbont's legal proceedings.

College football returned, and with it some top-notch prognostication**.

** - well, one of the notches, in any case.

September

The pearlfish swims up a sea cucumber's ass and eats its gonads.

Our resident adventure eater found testicles.

Squeaky gave us a concert guestie.

Clarence penned a moving 9/11 anniversary tribute to our lost friends.

Action Bronson's 'Fuck That's Delicious' may have been G:TB's favorite new show of the year.

Lagarfljotsormurinn!

Danimal doesn't mind looking like an idiot when he runs. Or does much of anything, really.

Mark's Dad is a hall of famer. Easily a top five post of the year for me. The other four are obviously things I wrote.

I said nice things about Derek Jeter.

Ryder Cup guestie from Triumph the Insult Comic Republican.

October

To be honest, I'm not really excited about the work we did in October. Do better, folks.

Nice Rock and Roll Hall of Fame/Gheorghies tribute by Clarence, though.

Marls explained our love/hate relationship with football. Or with Teri Hatcher and Dice Clay. Hard to tell, really.

St. Paul & The Broken Bones, maybe our best new music find of the year. We're not counting Run the Jewels, 'cause they're not new.



Hope sprung eternal in our Tribe hoops preview. Hope is a little less springy after a flawed 6-5 OOC start.

All Blacks > USA Eagles > Philadelphia Eagles.

My adidas.

November

We gave you the recipe for the secret sauce, then we proceeded to break out some excellent Top 10 music lists.

• Here's zman's.
• And Dave's.
• And one that Dave forgot.
• Can't miss Clarence's.
• I broke all the rules. Rock and Roll!

Mayhugh dropped sweet science.

Short Attention Span Book Reviews.

Excellent Meatloaf retrospective. Awful formatting effort. It's a wash.

Clarence Explains It All. And I just got the pun. Fuck.

Zman. The Bills. The Browns. A tradition unlike any other. Truly, though. Nobody else would do this once, let alone annually.

Hallelujah. Holy shit. Where's the Tylenol?

May you have a blessed 2015, and may the spirit of Gheorghemas be with you always.