Fashion is (spectacularly) Dumb

 I'm back, mofos. To be more accurate, atrocious fashion is back. I was alerted on the tweet machine to this monstrosity last night. We'll call them Levi's 501 jeans.

The Twelve Days of Gheorghemas: Day Three

On the third day of Gheorghemas, Big Gheorghe gave to me

Three Gheorghemas Gifts to Give Yourself

Two Stones of Weight Loss (Your Mileage May Vary)

and Running Gags with Quatro Kitties

I previously gave you some gift ideas for Mother's Day and Father's Day.  I now present the three things I enjoyed the most in 2021 as potential Gheorghemas gifts to give yourself or others.

A Peloton bike

I ordered a Peloton bike in July 2020 and it arrived in November 2020.  The next day I sprained the daylights out of my ankle raking leaves (I rolled it when I stepped off the curb into a pothole in the gutter).

As a result I wasn't able to use it until January 2, 2021.  Since then I've done 367 rides on what I estimate to be 218 days, along with 108 strength workouts, 4 yoga practices and 3 cardio classes.  That's 333 days of exercise over the last 341 days.  Those of you who know me best are stunned--rootsy probably passed out when he read that.  For the rest of you, it's safe to say that I worked out more in the past 11 months than I did in the previous 11 years.

Why?  I'm middle aged, I have (or had) high blood pressure, and the day before I ordered the bike zdaughter poked me in the love handle and said "Wow Daddy, your belly goes all the way over to there?"  I was the fattest I've ever been, about 187 pounds, and my slight frame isn't meant to carry that much weight.

So I exercised a lot, essentially quit drinking, but continued to eat more or less whatever the hell I want but only between the hours of 11 am and 7 pm (OBX Dave stole my thunder).  I get horrible sleep when I drink so I don't miss the booze.  I didn't eat breakfast between the ages of 13 and 28 (which was when I was at my skinniest) so the fasting wasn't hard.  I started eating breakfast at 28 because a bunch of motherly women at work heckled me into eating "the most important meal of the day," and other people convinced me it was important to jump start my metabolism in the morning to keep my weight down but looking back at things, this is when I started gaining weight generally.

The Peloton was key though.  It's fun, it's convenient, and yes it's expensive but not much more than a gym membership and my health insurance covered a few months of the streaming subscription.  I've always hated gym-class-style exercise but the combination of good music, entertaining instructors, and on-demand content all in my basement made me want to keep doing it.  You also get an output score during the ride so you have a goal to shoot for, and you can see other people's scores as you ride which keeps the competitive juices flowing.  It's perfect.

via GIPHY

And I lost 18 pounds!  I am literally 169 pounds right now and I want to lose another 4-9 more.  I feel great.  I had to dig through my drawers to find my old belts to keep my pants from falling off I'm so much thinner.  

Bonobos Extra Stretch Travel Jeans

I kept my old belts but not my old pants so I needed new ones.  I've been wearing Bonobos pants for about 15 years.  They're great, although I prefer the original chinos to the new ones--they added some stretch that reduces the need to iron but adds a sheen I don't like.

Their Extra Stretch Travel Jeans solve this problem.  They look like and fit like jeans, but they feel more like sweatpants.  As the name implies, they are stretchy but there is zero sheen.  They come in a bunch of different colors.  I got Walla Walla Walnut because they split the difference between jeans and khakis, but they're actually darker than pictured on the internet so it's more of a brown.  The Amarillo Tan is also darker in reality so it's really khaki.

Hollah at me (or challah at me for Hanukkah) and I'll send you a 25% off referral coupon.

Glerups

Glerups are the best slippers ever.  They're Danish and thus exceedingly hygge.  The uppers are wool felt, and they keep your feet at exactly the right temperature.  Never too hot so your feet don't sweat but never cold either.  They come with leather or rubber soles, in backless slip-on, shoe, and boot styles.  I have the shoes with rubber soles (in gum, natch) and I wear them around the house every day, all four seasons.  I asked for them for Gheorghemas last year and I raved so much that zwoman got herself a pair of the slip-ons.  She is 100% on board and wears hers daily too.  You need cozy slippers if you're going to work from home all the time.

Yes, they look like cartoon shoes.  Yes, my feet look like Smurf feet.  Yes, zwoman's dog think they taste good so the left one has seen better days.  Yes, I'm wearing colored stretch denim.  I don't care.  I feel healthy, my pants feel comfy, and my feet feel cozy.  That's all I can ask for at this stage of my life, and I wish you the same this Gheorghemas.

Hair of the Dog that Bit Me, Lloyd

Moving right along, people.  This is your regularly scheduled dipshittery.

So I went to a work luncheon the other day, and one of the sponsors was a construction company.  Among other marketing tactics, the company appeals to prospective buyers through a lovable looking animal, presumably to soften the image of an industry not known for lovability.  (See Poltergiest or Lethal Weapon 3, among others.)  So they have a retriever named Linus who wears a construction hat and poses for photos.  Cute.  Harmless.

Except this was the picture they had on enormous display at the event.

What do you think of when you think of "Overlook"?  Does anyone else instantly think of the Overlook Hotel?

If you do, you know there isn't much lovable about it.  Family murders, elevators filled with blood, a hotel coming to grisly life and creating gory death.  I couldn't stop thinking that this was a terrible choice, especially written in what could pass for blood.  It's one backwards R from being intentional.

Just glad it wasn't Lot 237.



Just me???  Probably.  All work and no play makes Clarence a dull boy.