All Day Long I Dream About...Murdering Polish Flies

Note: the author is 25% Polish and enjoys making jokes about that. If that offends you, stop reading now. 

I have a fly problem. Not a zipper issue. A legit "why the fuck are there three flies buzzing around our house all the time" issue. We are generally tidy folks. I clean my dishes promptly, we wipe down surfaces, we have a house-cleaner and we keep doors shut for the most part. But something happened in the last couple weeks. Some flies have gotten in. And it's tearing me apart.

All flies are gross and unpleasant. But these flies are also dumb as shit. They are the dumbest flies I've ever encountered. Sometimes, it can take quite a bit of time to swat an annoying fly in the house. They often hide within window treatments or find a crevice that offers them respite for a moment. Not these dumbasses. They're what I call Polish flies. They buzz around lethargically, daring me to kill them. And I do. Oh Lord, I do. I killed six yesterday. I easily swat them out of the air. And I don't even have to be quick when I bludgeon their little carcasses against a window. I have found the optimal swat velocity. The goal is to kill, but not create a streak that requires cleaning, and/or damage a screen. 

This situation is all quite gross, but I would rather avoid an exterminator visit. Who knows what chemical they will spray? How do I know it's safe, other than the person spraying says not to worry about it? What will it cost?  Will I have to do a thorough wipe-down of my house when the exterminator leaves? 

But on the flip side, we are all still in the house quite a bit, so having a fly-free space makes sense. Perhaps I'm the one who's more Polish than the flies. I just murder a bunch every day and wait for the problem to go away on its own. 

[Update: since this note was started, the fly issue has gone away. Perhaps the massacre of 50+ over the last two weeks spooked the others, or we got them all. The author's life-long habit of not fully addressing issues head-on, and instead hoping they will go away on their own, will persist as a result of this event.]