Friday, May 23, 2025

A (Not So) Small Request for the Shield

The National Football League didn’t become an American sports colossus by hibernating in the offseason. The Shield manipulates the calendar and turns even innocuous goings-on into events: player draft; scouting combine; schedule release; free agency window; owners’ meetings; rule changes; Jerry Jones eyelid tucks. Factor individual team issues into the mix, and hardly a week goes by without some tackle football news. 

Team Pro-Pigpile
The NFL’s latest intrusion on our attention spans came courtesy of the recent Spring owners’ meetings in Minnesota and word that the Philadelphia Eagles could continue to torment defenses in short-yardage situations with their Tush Push, or in Philly parlance, the Brotherly Shove. By extension, other teams may also attempt to duplicate what the Eagles routinely pull off. That they will almost certainly be less successful is likely to cement positions in the pro- and con- pigpile camps. 

The Green Bay Packers submitted the anti-TP proposal this go ‘round. Word was that the Eagles’ signature play was doomed, that there were enough owners sufficiently cheesed off to vote to ban the play (75 percent, or 24 of 32, is required to implement or change legislation). In the end, however, only 22 owners voted to ban. So, the majority of league owners remain against the play, but not enough to outlaw it.

Commissioner Roger Goodell reportedly is not a fan of the play, as well, but since he serves at the pleasure of the owners, he is in no position to go all Putin as it pertains to on-field activities. One argument from various corners of the league against the Tush Push is that it’s a threat to player safety, which is a big, steaming pile of disingenuous. 

First, the NFL admits there’s no data supporting that claim. Former Eagles All-Pro center-turned-media celebrity Jason Kelce, who advocated for the play at the Spring meetings, has said elsewhere he believes injuries are less likely to occur during the TP because a coordinated group shove among a small crowd of large humans fully aware of what’s coming is less violent than random full speed collisions. Frankly, any time league mouthpieces trot out player safety arguments, your antennae should start to twitch. 

Recall that the Shield fought for years against concussion and brain trauma findings, despite mounting evidence and a string of high-profile deaths to former players. The league finally agreed to financial settlements for victims only because courts ordered it to do so. Hurdles and obstacles existed for players to receive payments, including conditions related to race that made it more difficult for black players to qualify for certain levels of payouts, a swell look for a league with a majority African-American labor force. 

The league also is so concerned with player safety that it added a 17th game in 2021 and is likely on the way to an 18-game schedule, as Goodell floated to ESPN bleating tank top Pat McAfee last April. Adding two games means that in a span of four years, players will be subjected to an extra half-season of potential injury, related to the long-time 16-game schedule, not counting the additional wear and tear of playoff appearances. “The key thing for us is looking at making sure we continue to do the things that make our game safer,” Goodell said later in a May 2024 piece on NFL.com. “Seventeen games is a long season, so we want to make sure we look at that and make sure that we continue the safety efforts.” 

The NFL’s “safety efforts” apparently don’t include in-season scheduling, either. Twenty-six teams will play games on short rest and recovery. Twenty teams will play three games over the course of 11, 12 or 13 days. Cincinnati, Detroit, Kansas City, Miami, Minnesota and Seattle each have two stretches in which they will play three games in 12 days. The Baltimore Ravens have a 3-in-12 stretch and another in which they will play two games in five days, as do the LA Rams. Buffalo has two stretches where it will play two games in five days. The Eagles will play three games in 11 days from late September into early October. Dallas will play three games in 11 days in November, and two games in five days in late December. 

The league self-congratulates for updated concussion protocols and penalties against head-hunting and outlawing chop-blocks and crackback blocks and altering the execution of kickoffs, all while increasing the number of games and limiting recovery time in pursuit of more money and even greater exposure. 

Mmm, omelette
One counter to the injury concern is that football is a violent game and players are well compensated. Everyone knows the risks and is free to pursue and follow less brutal endeavors. Fair enough. However, would a little more honesty kill anyone? Wait, maybe re-phrase that. A little more transparency wouldn’t hurt and probably wouldn’t change anyone’s mind, either. Something along the lines of: Look, we made a hash of brain trauma and CTE and we haven’t always been sympathetic to player concerns, but we’re trying to do better. We intend to fill your weeks and months with football because all the numbers and interest say you want it. Unfortunately, that means stretching the limits of player health and conditioning in some cases and could mean adverse results for your favorite players and teams. Omelettes and breaking eggs, and all that. Thank you for your consideration. 

How hard was that?

14 comments:

  1. OBX Dave brings the ruckus to the Gheorghies, as usual. I think a 16 game season with two or three bye weeks makes more sense. That would still provide an 18 or 19 week season with 18 or 19 SNF, MNF, TNF, etc. games in which to make lots of ad revenue, while giving the players more time to rest and potentially improve their play on the field. It might make fantasy football a bit harder but I think we can all work through it.

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  2. Knicks-Pacers is a very unlikely rivalry on paper but it’s become a one of the better ones in the last 25-30 years. And this series is already adding to it.

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  3. sunderland scored in the 95th minute to make the return journey from league one to the premier league.

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  4. my sister's dogs eat fruit and vegetables like they're gourmands. it's the damnedest thing.

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  5. I've seen an ig account where the guy fixes gourmet meals while his dog watches longingly. The pup then gets to have a tuck in once the dish is ready. Cute as hell, but an absurd bit nonetheless.

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  6. Let us know if sis's dogs have a page where we can watch the bougie pups in action.

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  7. zwoman’s dog eats anything we put in her bowl. Vegetables, fruit, drywall, masonry nails, you name it.

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  8. And by that I mean the dog’s bowl, not zwoman’s bowl.

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  9. Our dogs attacked a bag of peaches while we were out to dinner a few nights ago. I was not pleased. Those peaches were for me.

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  10. Millions of peaches, peaches for Mark

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  11. one of my sister's dogs also likes oliver cabell sneakers, as it turns out. ouch.

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  12. They probably smell better than Enos Cabell sneakers

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  13. Euroleague final on currently if you’re into basketball - I’m watching what I’m pretty sure is a turkish broadcast on YouTube

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  14. I came downstairs this morning and asked zwoman if she fed the animals and she triumphantly replied "Yes, I did that an hour ago," her chin in the air to further demonstrate her superiority to my lazy late-sleeping ass, adding "does that look like a dog who needs to go out?" The dog was wadded up in a ball on the sofa in tremendous comfort so I thanked zwoman for her service and went about the rest of my morning routine. While she used the Peloton I sipped a cup of coffee and eventually went into my office to do a little work. It smelled like someone farted so I lit a candle (which I keep in there to abate my own farts) and when I went to throw away the match I saw a massive brown pile on one of my rugs. Based on its consistency I thought it was dogpuke but as I got closer I realized it was dogshit, loose watery dogshit. On my rug. I really really like the rugs in my office. They predate the dog by over a decade. They are not crazy valuable heirloom quality rugs but they are definitely not disposable either. And one of them had a TR-sized lump of diarrhea dogshit on it. I flipped out. I ranted about how I never wanted this dog, I still don't want this dog, it needs to go, etc. Eventually zwoman came up from the basement and saw me scooping up dogshit and offered me some carpet cleaner. Apparently she did not like the look on my face when I took it from her and decided that I was being mean. I did NOT remind her of the whole "does that look like a dog who needs to go out?" line from 45 minutes earlier. All this is to say I do not enjoy the company of dogs and I will give anyone $100 to come and take this miserable thing from me.

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