Kudos to Whitney for making my writing look even worse. On a positive note, Kenny Loggins is starting my weekend just right. Let's hope my PC speakers don't blow when they hit red line overload.
Friday, July 30, 2004
While I'm At It
Might as well squeeze another thought in as long as I'm here.
I was reading another bad Page 2 article, this time about the Kris Benson deal, and the writer asked if perhaps the Twins were dealing for the wrong Benson. The link went to his wife's site, a la T.J., but of course I was thinking it'd be Benson. You know, Benson DuBois, from Benson the TV show! No such luck, though Anna is nicer to look at.
What was it about Benson, a show that was on for seven seasons, that killed off any future careers for its participants? Oh, sure, Clayton got a gig as a Star Trek weirdo, but that doesn't really count. The governor was never seen again. The little girl vanished from TV, though at least she didn't go the eating disorder route like her Growing Pains sister. The German lady disappeared, though I guess you can see why. Even the guy Pete and his wife, who played Frenchy in Grease -- gone. (Although I think her role in Grease 2 precluded her from A-list appearances ever again.) And what of Benson himself? He's had nothing roles here and there, but you'd think after being BENSON he'd roll into roles. Ah, perhaps he was typecast as the typical black butler-turned-gubernatorial-staffer-turned-Lieutenant-Governor. Same old story.
Oh, there was one guy who walked away from Benson early on and made a little name for himself some time later. That Jerry Seinfeld guy. Did all right, so I hear.
And really, other than recalling its characters and a vague memory of wasting too much time as a youth watching this show, the only thing that comes back to me when I think of Benson isn't even from the show. It's a line from that Richard Lewis / Jamie Lee Curtis show in the late 80's. Jamie Lee has just exaggerated that something was a "miracle":
Richard Lewis: "A miracle? Really? A miracle? It was a miracle when Moses parted the Red Sea. It was a miracle when Jonah survived the whale. It was a miracle that Benson was on the air for seven seasons!"
And lo, it was a mighty miracle. Here endeth the lesson.
I was reading another bad Page 2 article, this time about the Kris Benson deal, and the writer asked if perhaps the Twins were dealing for the wrong Benson. The link went to his wife's site, a la T.J., but of course I was thinking it'd be Benson. You know, Benson DuBois, from Benson the TV show! No such luck, though Anna is nicer to look at.
What was it about Benson, a show that was on for seven seasons, that killed off any future careers for its participants? Oh, sure, Clayton got a gig as a Star Trek weirdo, but that doesn't really count. The governor was never seen again. The little girl vanished from TV, though at least she didn't go the eating disorder route like her Growing Pains sister. The German lady disappeared, though I guess you can see why. Even the guy Pete and his wife, who played Frenchy in Grease -- gone. (Although I think her role in Grease 2 precluded her from A-list appearances ever again.) And what of Benson himself? He's had nothing roles here and there, but you'd think after being BENSON he'd roll into roles. Ah, perhaps he was typecast as the typical black butler-turned-gubernatorial-staffer-turned-Lieutenant-Governor. Same old story.
Oh, there was one guy who walked away from Benson early on and made a little name for himself some time later. That Jerry Seinfeld guy. Did all right, so I hear.
And really, other than recalling its characters and a vague memory of wasting too much time as a youth watching this show, the only thing that comes back to me when I think of Benson isn't even from the show. It's a line from that Richard Lewis / Jamie Lee Curtis show in the late 80's. Jamie Lee has just exaggerated that something was a "miracle":
Richard Lewis: "A miracle? Really? A miracle? It was a miracle when Moses parted the Red Sea. It was a miracle when Jonah survived the whale. It was a miracle that Benson was on the air for seven seasons!"
And lo, it was a mighty miracle. Here endeth the lesson.
A Quick Guestie
Prompted by T.J.'s last post:
What do these films have in common? I'll give it away: they're on Anna Benson's list of favorite films. See if you detect the trend.
A Clockwork Orange
A stunning, striking, nihilistic vision of ultra-violence and the equally malevolent forces which attempt to curb it, starring Malcolm McDowell. A masterpiece by Stanley Kubrick.
Scarface
An action-filled, brilliantly acted epic re-interpreting the dark 1930's Chicago mob scene into the seedy 1980's Miami cocaine underworld, featuring a vintage Al Pacino performance as the flawed but enthralling title character. A brutal classic from Brian De Palma.
The Godfather
THE film about the Mafia, expertly written, directed, cast, and acted. Regarded as one of the greatest films of all time, an inside look at mob life -- portrayed both as one of loyal, dignified, familial virtue, and corrupt, violent, stoic doom. Francis Ford Coppola's timeless masterpiece.
The Goonies
Some kids run around trying to find buried treasure and save their town. The fat kid Chunk is funny. Rudy is in it, and one of the Coreys. And John Matuszak is a deformed idiot. And all that talk about "One-Eyed Willie" makes me laugh like Beavis & Butt-Head.
What do these films have in common? I'll give it away: they're on Anna Benson's list of favorite films. See if you detect the trend.
A Clockwork Orange
A stunning, striking, nihilistic vision of ultra-violence and the equally malevolent forces which attempt to curb it, starring Malcolm McDowell. A masterpiece by Stanley Kubrick.
Scarface
An action-filled, brilliantly acted epic re-interpreting the dark 1930's Chicago mob scene into the seedy 1980's Miami cocaine underworld, featuring a vintage Al Pacino performance as the flawed but enthralling title character. A brutal classic from Brian De Palma.
The Godfather
THE film about the Mafia, expertly written, directed, cast, and acted. Regarded as one of the greatest films of all time, an inside look at mob life -- portrayed both as one of loyal, dignified, familial virtue, and corrupt, violent, stoic doom. Francis Ford Coppola's timeless masterpiece.
The Goonies
Some kids run around trying to find buried treasure and save their town. The fat kid Chunk is funny. Rudy is in it, and one of the Coreys. And John Matuszak is a deformed idiot. And all that talk about "One-Eyed Willie" makes me laugh like Beavis & Butt-Head.
I liked Dazed and Confused too (alot)
Ricky Williams, what the hell are you thinking? I can only assume that sometime down the road the wacky tabaccky is going to lose some of it's entertainment value (or customs agents are going to make it less fun on your travels). Somehow I don't think Cheech Marin is too psyched these days to be wake and baking with Don Johnson in the IHOP parking lot.
Kris Benson is a pitcher for the Pirates. Kris Benson is about to be traded, perhaps to the NY Mets. Kris Benson is not important right now. His wife Anna is. She is hot, she has a website, and the hacks at Page 6 are getting Xmas early if this happens. Don't believe me - click here.
The Phillies are 3-22 against the Marlins in their last 25 matchups. I haven't seen a relationship that ugly since last season's Oz.
Kris Benson is a pitcher for the Pirates. Kris Benson is about to be traded, perhaps to the NY Mets. Kris Benson is not important right now. His wife Anna is. She is hot, she has a website, and the hacks at Page 6 are getting Xmas early if this happens. Don't believe me - click here.
The Phillies are 3-22 against the Marlins in their last 25 matchups. I haven't seen a relationship that ugly since last season's Oz.
Thursday, July 22, 2004
Everybody's Working for the Weekend
Loverboy just happens to be our house band. My weekend starts now, four days of sand and suds, and if the brain still works when I get back, I'm sure there will be lots to talk about. For pure comedy, if you have not seen last night's Manny Ramirez dive to intercept a relay throw in center field, make sure you do. It will make your weekend. And it sure seemed to make John Kruk happy.
Tuesday, July 20, 2004
Hey, don't you like sports?
Not to completely rip off the guys I am already ripping off, but I too enjoy some good baseball, and last night offered up some comedic gems. Given my previous posts look like an awful Larry King column, I will instead subject you to a huge paragraph with no continuity (like much of my work product). Carlos Zambrano is highly entertaining, though at some point, I think his head might explode like that escapee in the beginning of The Running Man (Killian, here's your Subzero, now plain zero). I'll let the Mets fan chime in on this later, but what the hell are the Baltimore Orioles doing? My only guess is "Who is Karim" Garcia was brought in as extra muscle in case the relocation meetings are moved to the bullpen (OK, so they all can't be funny). Has it occurred to anyone else that Rich Aurilia could be Exhibit A in any steroid case? The Mariners could've gotten more production out of Christopher Reeve this season. And let me end with this thought - As a Yankee fan (you were bound to find out sooner or later), I think it is really nice that they have given Ahmad Abdul Rahim a second chance in CF (Yes, Hi, joke for one please. Maybe in the back corner, away from the kitchen. Thanks). Perhaps, however, he and 800 year old Hideki Matsui could try a little harder to catch flyballs against the Devil Rays. If not, at least throw the Agilar brothers out there and see what they can do.
Monday, July 19, 2004
Moons Over My Hammy
How to cure a hangover? Be lucky enough to tune into the greatest 90210 episode ever. No, not the "Squash It" episode, the even more epic "Donna Martin Graduates" episode. 4 advil and a distraught Tori Spelling will do it all the time.
So who OK's a project like Patrick Swayze's "She's Like The Wind"? I think it went like this - Hey, he's in the movie, he seems to be able to dance, why not let him churn out a Top 40 pop hit? Who are the ad wizards that came up with that one?
Don't let anyone tell you otherwise - Billy Ocean's greatest work was "When The Going Gets Tough".
So who OK's a project like Patrick Swayze's "She's Like The Wind"? I think it went like this - Hey, he's in the movie, he seems to be able to dance, why not let him churn out a Top 40 pop hit? Who are the ad wizards that came up with that one?
Don't let anyone tell you otherwise - Billy Ocean's greatest work was "When The Going Gets Tough".
Can the Sports Media Resist This Temptation? Part Deux
How soon until we see this headline, or some variant: "Win a Date with Todd Hamilton"?
Friday, July 16, 2004
Taking this blog for a spin
I have myriad thoughts running through my head, and as mentioned below, I'm not terribly creative, so it will be in a SG ramblings format.
Who knew Liz Phair was someone I would like to bed?
Why is Michael Ian Black on every ADD-inspired VH1 highlight show? And should he and Joel Stein simply fight to the death?
Kobe and Shaq. I'm gonna need another post for these two clowns. Needless to say, Gheorge wouldn't be proud.
Yes is back on tour. Terrific.
If anyone out there ever stumbles across a medical report linking coffee to an early death, don't forward it to me.
Wheat Thins or Triscuits?
Who knew Liz Phair was someone I would like to bed?
Why is Michael Ian Black on every ADD-inspired VH1 highlight show? And should he and Joel Stein simply fight to the death?
Kobe and Shaq. I'm gonna need another post for these two clowns. Needless to say, Gheorge wouldn't be proud.
Yes is back on tour. Terrific.
If anyone out there ever stumbles across a medical report linking coffee to an early death, don't forward it to me.
Wheat Thins or Triscuits?
Keeping Up With The Jones'
Yeah, I didn't create this blog (good work Rob Russell), but damn it I'm gonna use it. If Mark Cuban can jump on the blog bandwagon (the blogagon?), then why the hell can't I. Three posts below actually belong to me. I'm simply spinning those sweep week cameos into the stealing of this blog. Some day the creator might look over here, but I don't sense that will be until late October. Until then, I'm squatting. I will aim to stay true to Rob's vision of Gheorghe-ness in the world, and I will make no excuses for blatantly stealing the styles of every other writer I read (mostly SG and the MLC crew). Shakespeare I ain't.
Tuesday, March 16, 2004
Worst Blogging Ever
This is 1899 Cleveland Spiders bad. Allen Iverson shows better dedication to his craft than us.
Friday, January 09, 2004
TeeJay!
Nice start to the new year, and a wakeup call to my slack, er, ass.
Kobe as Carlton from the Fresh Prince is inspired. Inspired, I tell you. And I was right with you all the way on the rest of it, right up until you went upside Joe Gibbs' head. Joe Gibbs is above reproach, above witty banter, above all questioning, doubting, or any pontificating by football outsiders like us. Joe Gibbs is the Football Messiah, sent from Charlotte to deliver his children from 12 years in the wilderness, chasing false idols like the Fun 'n Gun, or Heath Shuler. And Joe Gibbs is pumped at the prospect of strapping on the pads and gettin' after it. He was positively giddy in his intro presser, and he laughed like a dainty little girl - which filled me with a glee borne of visions of Riggo 2004 sucking the will out of the Cowboy, Eagle, and Giant defensive fronts in the 4th quarters of games not yet even imagined. I have not been anywhere close to this happy as a Redskins fan since 1992.
And it's got to be Licensed to Ill.
Nice start to the new year, and a wakeup call to my slack, er, ass.
Kobe as Carlton from the Fresh Prince is inspired. Inspired, I tell you. And I was right with you all the way on the rest of it, right up until you went upside Joe Gibbs' head. Joe Gibbs is above reproach, above witty banter, above all questioning, doubting, or any pontificating by football outsiders like us. Joe Gibbs is the Football Messiah, sent from Charlotte to deliver his children from 12 years in the wilderness, chasing false idols like the Fun 'n Gun, or Heath Shuler. And Joe Gibbs is pumped at the prospect of strapping on the pads and gettin' after it. He was positively giddy in his intro presser, and he laughed like a dainty little girl - which filled me with a glee borne of visions of Riggo 2004 sucking the will out of the Cowboy, Eagle, and Giant defensive fronts in the 4th quarters of games not yet even imagined. I have not been anywhere close to this happy as a Redskins fan since 1992.
And it's got to be Licensed to Ill.
Welcome to an Action-Packed 2004
(Channeling Kornheiser, Wilbon, Woody Paige, Mariotti, Bob Ryan)
1. Nebraska needed a coach to sign even more than Christina Aguilera needs an AIDS check. I think Jeffrey Dahmer, if interviewed this week, would've been hired. That being said, perhaps Callahan has a little pros-to-college Pete Carroll in him, but Bill, don't go 9-3 too much or you'll be on your ass with some mad cows in the fields
2. LeBron needs to stop being compared to Michael Jordan. James is Magic Johnson, and he will be better than Magic Johnson. For god sakes, the kid is 19 years old and he's already exceeded ridiculous expectations. Plus, I don't think LeBron would ever gamble enough to get his dad whacked.
3. Last year, it was Jon Gruden. This year, it's Tony Dungy. I won't get all John Clayton on you, because my body weight is not really 95% NFL stats like Clayton, but I am feeling Indy. And boy will it be fun to make fun of Philly fans and Andy "Cheesesteak" Reid for 2 weeks leading up to the Super Bowl.
4. Kobe had sex with a crazy girl. Guess what, who hasn't. Unfortunately, unlike drunken frat guys too stoned to know how crazy the sorority chick grinding them to the tune of RumpShaker is, Kobe or Kobe's people should do a MUCH better screening job. And it is this that might get him busted. I do think it's funny now that Kobe has done a 180 and gets tats and tries to be hard, when he is really just a much better basketball playing version of Carlton from Fresh Prince.
5. I do not want to hear about Stephon Marbury, Pete Rose, or Joe Gibbs for very long time. In fact, I don't give a shit what inbred LA boy Britney Spears banged on Ecstasy and then married. Christ, why can't I just get a high profile athlete to commit a murder or be accused or domestic violence like the good ole days.
6. Better old school album - Beastie Boys "Licensed to Ill" or Tribe Called Quest's "The Low End Theory"
1. Nebraska needed a coach to sign even more than Christina Aguilera needs an AIDS check. I think Jeffrey Dahmer, if interviewed this week, would've been hired. That being said, perhaps Callahan has a little pros-to-college Pete Carroll in him, but Bill, don't go 9-3 too much or you'll be on your ass with some mad cows in the fields
2. LeBron needs to stop being compared to Michael Jordan. James is Magic Johnson, and he will be better than Magic Johnson. For god sakes, the kid is 19 years old and he's already exceeded ridiculous expectations. Plus, I don't think LeBron would ever gamble enough to get his dad whacked.
3. Last year, it was Jon Gruden. This year, it's Tony Dungy. I won't get all John Clayton on you, because my body weight is not really 95% NFL stats like Clayton, but I am feeling Indy. And boy will it be fun to make fun of Philly fans and Andy "Cheesesteak" Reid for 2 weeks leading up to the Super Bowl.
4. Kobe had sex with a crazy girl. Guess what, who hasn't. Unfortunately, unlike drunken frat guys too stoned to know how crazy the sorority chick grinding them to the tune of RumpShaker is, Kobe or Kobe's people should do a MUCH better screening job. And it is this that might get him busted. I do think it's funny now that Kobe has done a 180 and gets tats and tries to be hard, when he is really just a much better basketball playing version of Carlton from Fresh Prince.
5. I do not want to hear about Stephon Marbury, Pete Rose, or Joe Gibbs for very long time. In fact, I don't give a shit what inbred LA boy Britney Spears banged on Ecstasy and then married. Christ, why can't I just get a high profile athlete to commit a murder or be accused or domestic violence like the good ole days.
6. Better old school album - Beastie Boys "Licensed to Ill" or Tribe Called Quest's "The Low End Theory"
Tuesday, December 23, 2003
Awaking from Slumber
I thought December was supposed to be a slow month in the workplace. I haven't had a chance to breathe since 12/1, let alone post pithy thoughts about sports. And while I was gone:
1. The BCS went to hell. Go USC and Geaux LSU! Split national championships are neat! As far as I'm concerned, the Delaware Blue Hens are the national champions.
2. My Boston Red Sox managed to turn the off-season into a more interesting story than the regular season with their pursuit of Alex Rodriguez. I'm so very torn on this deal. I love Nomar Garciaparra more than a heterosexual man should love another man, and the acquisition of ARod would signal the end of Nomar's days in Boston. That would cause me no small amount of dismay and disappointment. On the other hand, Alex Rodriguez may go down as one of the three best players in the history of Major League Baseball, and how can you not want a guy that fits that description on your team?
3. There was more than a little dust circling around my living room last night as I watched Brett Favre put up a monster first half against the Oakland Raiders just two days after his father passed away. Favre threw for 311 yards and 4 touchdowns in the first half against Oakland, all the while fighting emotions that I can only imagine. Every now and again we get affirmation of why we love sports. Last night was one of those times.
More to come.
I thought December was supposed to be a slow month in the workplace. I haven't had a chance to breathe since 12/1, let alone post pithy thoughts about sports. And while I was gone:
1. The BCS went to hell. Go USC and Geaux LSU! Split national championships are neat! As far as I'm concerned, the Delaware Blue Hens are the national champions.
2. My Boston Red Sox managed to turn the off-season into a more interesting story than the regular season with their pursuit of Alex Rodriguez. I'm so very torn on this deal. I love Nomar Garciaparra more than a heterosexual man should love another man, and the acquisition of ARod would signal the end of Nomar's days in Boston. That would cause me no small amount of dismay and disappointment. On the other hand, Alex Rodriguez may go down as one of the three best players in the history of Major League Baseball, and how can you not want a guy that fits that description on your team?
3. There was more than a little dust circling around my living room last night as I watched Brett Favre put up a monster first half against the Oakland Raiders just two days after his father passed away. Favre threw for 311 yards and 4 touchdowns in the first half against Oakland, all the while fighting emotions that I can only imagine. Every now and again we get affirmation of why we love sports. Last night was one of those times.
More to come.
Tuesday, December 16, 2003
Gheorghe: The Encounter
It seems only fitting I can post on this blog, as I have met the man of the hour, though briefly and ages ago. Few can appreciate the joy of a chance encounter with the man-child Gheorghe, but the reader(s) of this blog may. As I exited a New York City Italian restaurant, bloated and stinking of red wine, I began walking towards our next watering hole. As I reached the intersection, I inquired of the group I'm with as to whether the lamp post across the street was moving towards us. The Walk signal is flashing - time to hustle before Akbar runs me down in his cab - as the street lamp came closer, I realize it is none other than My Giant. Thinking quickly, I tap him on his waist (almost head high mind you) and say, straight-faced, "Hey Gheorghe, you, Little Italy, ironic huh?" His 5'4" interpreter simply looked at me, shrugged his shoulders, and moved on, Big George curiously looking over his shoulder at me. And thus ended my brush with ghreatness.
Monday, December 01, 2003
Tryptophantastic
A few rambling, barely coherent bits while recovering from a Thanksgiving spent eating too much turkey and drinking too much bourbon:
1. That sound you hear is my uncontrollable giggling over the Red Sox' acquisition of Curt Shilling. It's almost as if Game 7 of the 2003 ALCS didn't happen. Almost.
2. I'm shocked, just shocked, that Florida and Florida State players got into a donnybrook after their epic game. Why doesn't Bobby Bowden take more grief from the media for running a program with absolutely no integrity, on or off the field?
3. Barring an upset victory by Oregon State over USC and some bizarre computer machinations, looks like the BCS is going to fall into a barrel of horsecrap and come up smelling like perfume - again.
4. How many games do the Tampa Bay Buccaneers have to lose before John Gruden and Warren Sapp stop appearing six times a week on all major sports programs? Seriously, has a 5-7 also-ran ever had this much love from mainstream media outlets?
5. Chaminade!
6. Loved the creamsicle unis the Miami Dolphins sported against the Redskins last Sunday. Hated the fact that the Skins blew yet another 4th quarter lead. And then did it again this week against the Saints. 3 straight final stanza collapses by the worst team LDS' (that's Little Danny Starfucker) money can buy. But, hey, we got to see the 70th Anniversary uniforms again yesterday, so I'm sure merchandise revenues went up.
A few rambling, barely coherent bits while recovering from a Thanksgiving spent eating too much turkey and drinking too much bourbon:
1. That sound you hear is my uncontrollable giggling over the Red Sox' acquisition of Curt Shilling. It's almost as if Game 7 of the 2003 ALCS didn't happen. Almost.
2. I'm shocked, just shocked, that Florida and Florida State players got into a donnybrook after their epic game. Why doesn't Bobby Bowden take more grief from the media for running a program with absolutely no integrity, on or off the field?
3. Barring an upset victory by Oregon State over USC and some bizarre computer machinations, looks like the BCS is going to fall into a barrel of horsecrap and come up smelling like perfume - again.
4. How many games do the Tampa Bay Buccaneers have to lose before John Gruden and Warren Sapp stop appearing six times a week on all major sports programs? Seriously, has a 5-7 also-ran ever had this much love from mainstream media outlets?
5. Chaminade!
6. Loved the creamsicle unis the Miami Dolphins sported against the Redskins last Sunday. Hated the fact that the Skins blew yet another 4th quarter lead. And then did it again this week against the Saints. 3 straight final stanza collapses by the worst team LDS' (that's Little Danny Starfucker) money can buy. But, hey, we got to see the 70th Anniversary uniforms again yesterday, so I'm sure merchandise revenues went up.
Friday, November 21, 2003
Thursday, November 20, 2003
Another Collection of Random Asides
Stream of consciousness without much thought on:
1. If a major professional hockey league disbands in a forest and nobody hears it implode, did it ever exist? And we think baseball has economic problems!
2. USC beat Arizona, 45-0, while Ohio State snuck past Purdue, 16-13 in overtime. The computers that play a large role in the Bowl Championship Series (BCS) rankings (pay no attention to the men behind the curtain) dropped the Trojans and elevated the Buckeyes, putting OSU in the driver's seat for the right to be pummelled by Oklahoma in the "national championship game". I'm hoping against hope that USC and OSU both win out and the BCS is, once again, revealed to be a sham of a mockery of a fraud. I've said if before (hell, I wrote an editorial about it in my high school newspaper), and I'll certainly say it again - to no real end - a 16-team Division I college football playoff would be the single biggest event of the American sporting calendar, would rake in megabucks eclipsing the cash available in the bowl system, and would not adversely impact the "student-athletes" involved. AND IT WOULD ENSURE THAT A LEGITIMATE NATIONAL CHAMPION WAS CROWNED ON THE FIELD AND NOT IN THE NEWSPAPERS, ELECTRONIC ETHER, AND ABACUSES OF AMERICA'S MATHEMATICS PHD CANDIDATES. This must happen. It makes too much sense not to happen. And so, it surely won't happen any time soon.
3. Andy Roddick is the world's No. 1-ranked tennis player. Yawn.
4. Is there any doubt at all that both Keyshawn Johnson and Warren Sapp will be courted heavily by Little Danny Starfucker? Hear me now and believe me later: if either wears Washington Redskins burgundy and gold next season, I will have a new favorite NFL team. (edit for clarity's sake: it should be noted that I am currently a 'Skins fan. if our meddlesome, football-dumb owner overpays for these two wildly overrated but big name players, I'll find a new team.)
Stream of consciousness without much thought on:
1. If a major professional hockey league disbands in a forest and nobody hears it implode, did it ever exist? And we think baseball has economic problems!
2. USC beat Arizona, 45-0, while Ohio State snuck past Purdue, 16-13 in overtime. The computers that play a large role in the Bowl Championship Series (BCS) rankings (pay no attention to the men behind the curtain) dropped the Trojans and elevated the Buckeyes, putting OSU in the driver's seat for the right to be pummelled by Oklahoma in the "national championship game". I'm hoping against hope that USC and OSU both win out and the BCS is, once again, revealed to be a sham of a mockery of a fraud. I've said if before (hell, I wrote an editorial about it in my high school newspaper), and I'll certainly say it again - to no real end - a 16-team Division I college football playoff would be the single biggest event of the American sporting calendar, would rake in megabucks eclipsing the cash available in the bowl system, and would not adversely impact the "student-athletes" involved. AND IT WOULD ENSURE THAT A LEGITIMATE NATIONAL CHAMPION WAS CROWNED ON THE FIELD AND NOT IN THE NEWSPAPERS, ELECTRONIC ETHER, AND ABACUSES OF AMERICA'S MATHEMATICS PHD CANDIDATES. This must happen. It makes too much sense not to happen. And so, it surely won't happen any time soon.
3. Andy Roddick is the world's No. 1-ranked tennis player. Yawn.
4. Is there any doubt at all that both Keyshawn Johnson and Warren Sapp will be courted heavily by Little Danny Starfucker? Hear me now and believe me later: if either wears Washington Redskins burgundy and gold next season, I will have a new favorite NFL team. (edit for clarity's sake: it should be noted that I am currently a 'Skins fan. if our meddlesome, football-dumb owner overpays for these two wildly overrated but big name players, I'll find a new team.)
Tuesday, November 18, 2003
Good for Them. Bad for Me.
The Tampa Bay Buccaneers just placed loudmouth me-first, team-second wideout Keyshawn Johnson on their inactive list, effectively ending his season. Johnson had no reported injuries - the Bucs simply got tired of his crap. This should happen more often, just not to members of my struggling fantasy football team.
The Tampa Bay Buccaneers just placed loudmouth me-first, team-second wideout Keyshawn Johnson on their inactive list, effectively ending his season. Johnson had no reported injuries - the Bucs simply got tired of his crap. This should happen more often, just not to members of my struggling fantasy football team.
Monday, November 17, 2003
Hell, He'd be More Entertaining Than Grady
Former Red Sox pitcher and noted eccentric Bill "Spaceman" Lee announced his candidacy for the vacant Red Sox managerial job today. I'm all for it. Baseball, and sports in general, needs more lunatics.
Former Red Sox pitcher and noted eccentric Bill "Spaceman" Lee announced his candidacy for the vacant Red Sox managerial job today. I'm all for it. Baseball, and sports in general, needs more lunatics.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
