Tremble Little Loudoun Man

On Tuesday evening at 10:30 EST, little Loudoun United FC take on mighty Los Angeles FC in the 2024 US Open Cup Round of 16. Loudoun, hometown team for me and Marls, are currently in 8th place in the USL Championship Eastern Conference table with a record of three wins, two draws, and six losses. LAFC have been to the last two MLS Cup finals, having won the first division title in 2022. It's a mismatch on paper, my friends.

As the cliche goes, they don't play games on paper. At least not soccer games. 

Loudoun have reached this point in the tournament by defeating the Richmond Kickers in a shootout before traveling to the west coast to vanquish Orange City FC, 2-1. LAFC beat Loudoun's leaguemate Las Vegas Lights FC by a 3-1 count to reach the 16s.

LAFC have World Cup winner Hugo Lloris in the net. Loudoun counter with Cannes native Hugo Fauroux. We see your Hugo, and we call. 'Cause a raise might be impudent.

2023 MLS Golden Boot winner Denis Bouanga leads LAFC with eight goals on the season, while the club awaits the July debut of Lloris' countryman Olivier Giroud. Chatham, New Jersey's own Zach Ryan tops Loudoun with three tallies through the club's 11 matches. There are no French forwards on the way to Leesburg, though midfielder Florian Valot is from Pau, and has two assists on the season. Seems pretty even.

Loudoun midfielder Drew Skundrich is married to USWNT and Washington Spirit midfielder Andi Sullivan. LAFC is part-owned by Drew Carey and Mia Hamm (in addition to Will Ferrell, Nomar Garciaparra, and Magic Johnson). Dammit, one-upped again.

LAFC are known for the 3252, the boisterous fan group that takes its name for the seating capacity of home field BMO Stadium's north end. Loudoun United officially averages 2,664 fans per game in its 5,000-seat hime, Segra Field, and I'm here to tell you that count is generous.

I can't find odds anywhere on the various betting sites, but I assume the touts would have LAFC at somewhere around -1000 to win. Can't really argue that. Loudoun United have never made the USL Championship playoffs, let alone won a title. Hell, the club's never even had a winning season, nor really been close to having one. In the club's five-year history, Loudoun has won 34, drawn 22, and lost 102. Not great, Bob.

Been a good run for the boys in red and white. Here's hoping LAFC coach Steve Cherundolo does the noble thing and rests his starters (and second team) ahead of their MLS match against Atlanta United. That's our best shot. Regardless, Marls and I will be hunkered down at Loudoun Brewing Company, the official matchday home of the Loudoun Stampede, United's supporters group. Let's go Loudoun!