Monday, January 10, 2011

Oregon-Auburn. Points points points. I love points.

The final game of the College Football season is upon us and that makes me sad. Sad, but pretty excited too. The Oregon-Auburn matchup is intriguing on a number of levels, not the least of which is the possible offensive explosion on our hands in Glendale tonight.

We've all seen what these teams can do so I'm not going to waste your time talking. Not yet at least. I'm bringing back the G:TB Live Blog. Meet and me and my pal Cocaine Bear in the comments.

280 comments:

  1. Cocaine Bear is already half in the bag...

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  2. Some others players to watch on Oregon and Auburn:

    Offense:

    Jeff Maehl (WR-OU)
    Ontarrio McCalleb (RB-AU)

    Defense:

    Cliff Harris (CB-OU)
    Josh Bynes (LB-AU)

    And as TJ said, Zach Clayton's worth a look too.

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  3. Not only would this be a big win for Auburn, Cam new Ton, the SEC, but it would be a pretty big one for Under Armour too. Seriously.

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  4. this is huge for under armour

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  5. I am having the worst allergy attack in recent memory. Snot is coming out of my eyes.

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  6. Is Joey Harrington playing for anyone these days (in the NFL)

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  7. No, TR's schtick involves a snot-like substance oozing from his schlong, accompanied by burning.

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  8. I'm surprised by how many people are taking Oregon.

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  9. At an Ale House in north Miami...not many ales for such a moniker. And no volume on TV's. Just really loud music. KE$HA! Can someone give me some ccaption? Thx

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  10. Speaking of Oregon, Auburn has had the light shone on how shady a program they have through this whole Cam Newton fiasco (and the subsequent investigations...the Bobby Lowder NYT article) but nobody has talked about Oregon and the unbelievably criminal offseason they had last year.

    Not that I care (shit, I went to Florida) just that its interesting. Or not.

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  11. Commercial breaks are now a million times better...

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  12. A negative that I've recently thought of for each team.

    Auburn: Lee Ziemba cut his mountain beard.

    Oregon: Sebastian Bach is a part of the Oregon Football traveling party.

    Things still seem even to me.

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  13. I wouldn't cry if cam got colt mccoyd

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  14. Speaking of mountain man beards. I'm not two months into growing another one (I had a mean one last year) in anticipation of my wedding.

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  15. I predict that this game will be a complete and utter blowout...in someone's favor.

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  16. Kick the fucking ball off...

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  17. I bet Casey Matthews took a trip down to Mexico this past week and got some killer steroids.

    Clay is so jealous.

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  18. so we're not talking about the socks, then?

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  19. How many bellinis have you had tonight Tee J?

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  20. It's Saranac tonight my man.

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  21. I'm pretty lukewarm on the unis Rob. Don't love the pants.

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  22. look at the teej, all growns up.

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  23. The socks are almost as bad as my softball shorts.

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  24. agreed, mark. they tried too hard.

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  25. That's THE Dr. James Andrews in the mustard pants and blazer.

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  26. nike cleats can't grip, under armour cleats hurt a player.

    draw.

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  27. Dr. James Andrews is so random. Every semi-dedicated sports fan in America can name. Virtually nobody else in the world (outside of the medical community) can.

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  28. Rob is commenting like Darren Rovell tweets.

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  29. You know who's not enjoying tonight?

    Jeremiah Masoli.

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  30. Slippery field. Advantage ducks.

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  31. Darren Thomas? What the hell man?

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  32. Dr. Andrews is doing my vasectomy next month. He says it will make my penis stronger than it was before the surgery.

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  33. this game might be too big for thomas

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  34. I like the socks. If your program doesn't have a 50-year heritage of greatness then break out new fly shit every game. The carbon-fiber-ish helmets are always cool. They should really make them look like carbo-fiber.

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  35. I believe he said your pelvis will be stronger.

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  36. I like the philosophy too Z. Just don't love these particular unis.

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  37. Oh...that's much less appealing...

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  38. I'm handling it ok so far rob, but I do appreciate the concern.

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  39. Tj....hold it together. You can handle this game.

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  40. Did Chip Kelly have too much time to scheme?

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  41. When they break out like that the cleats/socks grow on you.

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  42. According to Herbstreit, Auburn's daring Darren Thomas to consistently beat him with his arm.

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  43. Go Ducks!
    I like the web-feet look where the shoes merge into the electric yellow socks.

    And, why didn't ESPN let Lee Corso have a micorphone tonight?

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  44. Auburn has Bo Jackson and Frank Thomas. Oregon has ... Prefontaine ... and ... ?

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  45. They watched dick Clark on new years

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  46. Exposed QBs? Nervous as fuck?

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  47. "Darron Thomas cannot get the edge."

    Then he definitely can't get the Teej!"

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  48. Oregon: Ahmad Rashad...Dan Fouts...

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  49. And Phil Knight. Perhaps you've heard of him.

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  50. Danimal really likes Joey's piano work.

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  51. I did not know any of that. Ahmad Rashad is cool because he married Mrs. Huxtable and he's down with Michael Jordan. But he's no Bo Jax.

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  52. Cocaine bear is not getting enough play. Still making me chuckle.

    Can't wait for Chip Kelly's completely uninformative, uncomfortably stand-offish interview going in to half time.

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  53. Mrs huxtable kicked his ass to the curb circa 2000

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  54. Jake Delhomme plays for Oregon.

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  55. Really, Nick Fairley unblocked. Bad move Ducks.

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  56. And Danimal wasn't lying about Oregon's cheerleaders. I know nothing about Oregon.

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  57. Jeff Blake had a remarkable career?

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  58. Does Oregon come out w different unis in 2nd?

    Under looking OK

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  59. jeff blake's career was remarkable?

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  60. Jeff Blake had a remarkable career? How so Brent? I'll hang up and listen to your answer.

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  61. Too many f bombs around the kids...wife has him on seven second delay

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  62. Hi rob! What time is it where you are?

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  63. time rises like heat - so i'm always the first to get stuff

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  64. Haloti Ngata too. Who knew? I should have gone to Oregon.

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  65. Gus Malzahn is a hacky fraud, right?

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  66. Typical east coast bias by Z.

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  67. Where has Oregon?

    Idaho, Alaska!!

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  68. Does Dave watch college football?

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  69. His name is David Paulson. His name is David Paulson.

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  70. Danny Duberstein is good at 2 things.

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  71. Is one of them kicking some Ass?

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  72. Oh man, Coccaine Bear just walked back in with a handle of Crown. Things are going downhill fast.

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  73. No, But one of them is Bar Mitzvahing.

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  74. Oregon's heard of Nick Fairley, right?

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  75. Wont it be cool if one day the University of Phoenix plays for a natl championship in the stadium of their namesake?

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  76. Cocaine bear. ... is he working tomorrow? Fishing? Eatn beaver?

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  77. Oregon is doing some kind of modified trap iso where they leave someone unblocked. They keep choosing an All-American to leave free. The results... not mind-boggling, Ducks.

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  78. This protection scheme is giving Patrick Ramsey cold sweats.

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  79. gene chizik won the national coach of the year award for figuring out how to hide the payments to newton

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  80. You have to rejuevenate the mitzvah.

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  81. 100 comments in 76 minutes. Impressive.

    Marls - I had no idea what your comment was. I'll still take the Ducks action, assuming I get 3. Nice of you to pick a place 1 block from your job and 10 from mine.

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  82. Good year to be named Cody.

    (finally)

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  83. If Las Vegas was in the south, there would be lines on the number of towel waves and chest bumps executed by Trooper Taylor tonight.

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  84. Thx teej. Is that real grass? Fo real?

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  85. Did they mean to fuck up the return like that?

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  86. oregon's really not that smart

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  87. Chip Kelly smoked the good shit tonight.

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  88. I like this 2 quarter much more than the 1st. No more nerves. Just offense.

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  89. Single White Maehl. Nice call, Mark.

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  90. Well drawn up and even better execution.

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  91. So the fellas are loose now...

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  92. that's dumb as shit. i love it.

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  93. Is that the first "Riverboat Gambler" reference of the night?

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  94. Does Brent know it's called a WR screen and not "basically a running play"?

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  95. Michael Dyer is conspicuous by his absence tonight.

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  96. That was figuratively quasi-pointless.

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  97. Herbie is more suited to a 3-man booth. He has some good things to say, but it gets lost in his quest to avoid dead air. It's like hanging out with me, if I were more Aryan-looking.

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  98. When there's dead air, Herbie goes bananas.

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  99. TR, you wish you were as smooth as Kirk

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  100. Good to have Igor. Missed u like crazy

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  101. Right before that time-out, Cam Newton had that dazed, clueless look reminiscent of Heath Shuler in the NFL.

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  102. Heath busts that look out in committee hearings these days. He's powerfully dumb.

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  103. If Gus Malzahn had any balls he'd called a jump pass here.

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  104. Danimal, it's good to be among old friends. You clowns, Dale's Pale Ale, and college football.

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  105. Is that guy really the best player in football?

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  106. College coordinators are the most toolish of all sports coaches. Their perpetual histrionics must be embarrassing to their families.

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  107. I worked with a woman who had a histrionic.

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  108. I think spackler left the sprinklers on last night

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  109. Do they call those runs up the middle Dyer straights?

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  110. They call it the live and let dyer

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  111. Deon Jordan got fucked up. Can I get some video?

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  112. Worried.....a fuck up here turns it into a blow out

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  113. Late hit. Bloody eye. Nah, don't bother with a replay, let's get audio of Erin Andrews. Genius.

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  114. Erin Andrews is dying to be relevant tonight. Not gonna happen.

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  115. Finally the replay A little mini-Haynesworth there from Auburn. Klassy.

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  116. Oregon's going to have to do more than throw WR screens all day.

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  117. The 2 pt conversion keeps them within a safety and a field goal. Not so dumb after all.

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  118. not punting here is malpractice by kelly

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  119. Is it racist to ask why African Americans wear eye black?

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  120. Good to know. I won't ask that.

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  121. Brandon "Cocaine" Bair was a little jumpy.

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  122. Does Yogi hate it when Cocaine Bear comes to Yosemite and fucks shit up?

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  123. Best time on a Saturday night in the 80's? "B.J. and the Bear"

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  124. Want more offense I half two.

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  125. Cocaine Bear is Yogi's hook up. Used to fuck Booboo's sister.

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  126. 'let's check in down below with erin'

    right on, brent

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  127. But BJ didn't work on Cocaine Bear.

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  128. Instead of the halftime show, check out Three Men and a Baby on HBOfamily.

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  129. People totally slept on Guttenberg's range. He's really showing me something.

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  130. The Gutenbergs were to printing and acting what the Kennedys were to politics and untimely death...and drinking...and infidelity...

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  131. Four Police Academy movies
    Two (?) Cocoon movies
    Two Three Men and a Baby movies
    Diner

    What else...

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  132. Geoff's best material comes during halftime/Three Men and a Baby. I like it.

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  133. Are rob and Nick Saban the same height?

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  134. That dude better be the CEO of tostitios.

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  135. There is no CEO of Tostitos. They do, however, have a Captain Crunch. That was he.

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  136. And Chip Kelly in the Tostitos Fiesta Bowl??? I finally get it.

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  137. Was surprised to see Elmo in that PAC 10 ad. Where did he play his college ball?

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  138. It's popular to talk about the SEC speed factor in these games but it's usually more about the size AND speed of the SEC lines that make the biggest difference. That's been the case for Auburn (especially their DLine) so far.

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  139. Auburns D line...for once I said something correct.

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  140. Switchfoot is a poor Man's Nickelback. And Nickleback is a poor Man's Creed.

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  141. Don't mention Creed around Greg.

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  142. It happened late in the first half. But Auburn thinks they can block Oregon well enough to thrown the ball downfield.

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  143. I have to cut Gus slack tho - he has matched up backs out of the backfield on LBs and DEs and capitalized a bunch tonight.

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  144. Swint gave me a scotch called Octomore for St. Hubbins Day. It 126 proof. I'm not responsible enough to be in possession of it.

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  145. This is a serious, if stupid, question: are college OL required to wear knee braces? Or did Oregon recruit a bunch of gimpy OL?

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  146. Nick Fairley got a personal foul. That's pretty standard.

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  147. TR, you can have your three points. I only picked Wolfgang's because I am not sure where your new office is.

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