Car(s) & Driver

Danimal thinks zman is an inspiration, and he's right! Zed's post about his stepdad's AMC Hornet got me all nostalgic about my earliest whips, of which I have fond(ish) memories. 

I learned to drive on a white 1979 VW Rabbit. My father was stationed in Japan for a year, so it fell to my Mom to teach me how to operate it, for the most part. That must've been awesome for her. Dad did start the process after I got my learner's permit at 15 years and six months of age. He drove us to my high school and parked the car at one end of a long, open lot. I got into the driver's seat, buckled up, and did all the standard safety checks: mirrors, seat belt, car in park, etc. 

And then Dad said, "floor it, and don't brake until I tell you to". Dude, what?

I didn't do anything at first, and then he reiterated his command and told me he was serious. This was the very first time I'd taken command of an automobile and I had about as much understanding of its operation as I did the female anatomy. Which is to say a very tenuous comprehension. I didn't know what I should touch, how hard I should press things, what all the noises meant. Completely clueless.

Eventually, though, I did what he told me to do and I punched it. We got up to about 40 mph and the far curb was coming up too fast for my taste when he told me to hit the brakes. I learned how seatbelts worked in that moment. And more importantly for Dad's lesson plan, I learned how well the brakes did their job.

Dad soon departed for his overseas assignment, and while I was in pretty good shape in terms of driving the car, he hadn't really told me very much about maintaining it. It was a great little car while it lasted. Which wasn't very long, unfortunately. I was driving home with my buddy from a tennis tournament a few months after I'd earned my license when the engine seized and belched up a bunch of black smoke. The mechanic asked me when I'd last had an oil change. "Oil change?", I said. And that was that for the little Rabbit.

My folks, probably too kindly, bought me a red 1986 Dodge Omni shortly thereafter. I'm pretty sure it was purchased new, though it had very few bells and whistles. It also weighed next to nothing, so while it didn't have a big engine, it was really quick off the line. My high school principal saw me driving it into the lot one morning and said, "that thing's a little pocket rocket", a phrase that tickled me at the time and has stuck with me ever since.

Mr. Gaul was a bit of a gearhead, and he told me more about my car than anyone else. One weekend afternoon, I found myself first in line at a stoplight and heard a honk from the next lane. I looked over, and he was smiling at me and revving his engine. That's how I came to have a race with my principal. I gave him a run for his money right off the line, but he had one of those big-block muscle cars and smoked me over the longer run. Later, he would do me an enormous solid when he really could've substantially and justifiably fucked up my educational future, for which I owe him dearly.

He finished his career at a couple of high schools in Texas, where he retired. I saw him at the school's 50th Anniversary back in the late 2010s, where he showed up with both arms fully sleeved with tattoos. He passed away from cancer shortly thereafter. Mr. Gaul was a righteous dude.

I had a number of other cars over the years. Learned to drive stick on a Ford Escort that I took to college. Drove my parents' Chevy Blazer for a few years before buying an S-10 pickup - a completely ridiculous purchase for someone living in suburbia and commuting to work. Bought a Ford Explorer after I got married and gave it to my wife after she got pregnant (figured out that whole female anatomy thing at least a little bit). So I drove her seafoam green Toyota Tercel for more years than I care to recall. Had a couple of Camrys, and then bought and still drive a 2014 MINI Cooper, the first car I've owned that I really desired. 

Seems I've come a long way in one sense, but in another, I guess I never really got away from driving really small, kinda quick little whips. At least I learned when and why to change the oil.