Corona Files: Cleaning Out the Blogarage

The nesting instinct is strong in me as we head towards the end of the third month of pandemic-related self-isolation. I've cleaned out my garage, hung some artwork, steam-cleaned carpets, fired up the grill on multiple occasions, edged the lawn, contracted for landscaping, and bought multiple kitchen gadgets over the interwebz. Today, I turn my attention to this little website.

As a group, we have 232 posts in various states of draft. 156 of those are mine. I have told you before, on many occasions, that I am pretty good at generating ideas and pretty damn lousy at following through on them. I've never really been confronted by such stark evidence of my lack of execution. In 2020 alone, I've started and failed to finish 11 different posts, more than two a month.

The oldest post in draft form is one started by TR entitled, 'Ranking Every Summer Job I Ever Had'. I'd read that one, which was started on June 22, 2011. A few months later, I started one with the headline, 'Towards a Social Psychology of Flatulence'. Apparently it was based on an article in The Atlantic by Andrew Sullivan.

In October 2012, I started a post called 'Things rob Leaves in Drafts', which I assume was meant to look at stuff I started and never finished. Pretty meta, that. Later that same year, Clarence (who I believe is Igor, but possibly Whitney) started but never published the 12th Day of Gheorghemas. Very G:TB, indeed.

Cracker-ass Cracker

Zman has a draft from March 2013 about what car Zman would drive. I think the world needs that one. There's one from the Teej three months later entitled 'Lindsey Graham Cracker Crunch'. Need that one, too. The Doofus Overlord doesn't get mad very often, but that one's got potential.

Marls started something called 'Poop Into a Wormhole' in January 2014. In February 2015, Teej began a post entitled 'Siri, remind me on July 31st to plan for the Palestra', which I believe was a reference to a plan we started to go see a college basketball game or two at that venue in Philly. Spoiler alert: we have not yet done that.

Dave has a handful of entries, one of which in August 2015 was called 'Weird Spooky Scary Awful Shit'. Knowing what kind of stuff lurks in the corners of Dave's brain, this could be just about anything.

Zman has multiple drafts in 2015-16 replete with copious tags, which means he probably got pretty far down the road before running out of gas. That's a shame.

Speaking of running out of gas, I'm getting tired of digging through all the years, so I'm gonna fast-forward a little bit. Most of my stuff is either political or centered around an article I found interesting. I've started no fewer than three posts that attempt to explains our current President. I have no more the stomach or that than he does for the basic duties of his job.

In 2020, I started two separate attempts to write a Scooby Doo-style mystery that featured Samantha Huge as the villain and saw Tony Shaver riding to Dane Fischer's rescue. It's a great idea. Hope it gets finished. Also started a drunken post about how much I love my dog. That'll be an amusing one to see. TR has a bunch in the recent past. He's on vacation now. Nothing but time to blog.

Just like all the rest of us.

The Twelve Days of Gheorghe-mas, Day Twelve

On the twelfth day of Gheorghe-mas, Big Gheorghe gave to me:


Twelve Appreciations ♫
Eleven Drinks and Rambling
(Way More Than) Ten Highlights
Nine Clips You Tubing
Eight Men A Milking
Seven Balls A-Bouncin' (ngs)
Six Rules Worth Knowing
Five Golden Rings
Four-gone Conclusions
Three Saluki Tallies
Two Recurring Features
And a Doofus Dancing (hee, hee)

The Twelve Days of Gheorghemas, Volume II, has included a couple of posts that mirrored ones from last year’s G-mas. With 2009 on the heavy wane, I’ll add another – a new batch of the things I have appreciated and enjoyed over the past 365, as once again set to the backdrop of my favorite songs released this year.

[Last year I employed a cool, new website to enable you to hear the tunes with the click of a button. At least one of the bands I highlighted let it be known that doing so was a copyright violation, so to save G:TB’s legal counsel some trouble, I won’t do that again. Where available, I’ve linked the songs, but for most of them, if you want to hear them in toto, I’d go to blip.fm, enter them into the search bar, and listen. (Related true story: Toto’s “Rosanna” was written about Rosanna Arquette. Check it out.)]

It was a superb year in music, at least according to this guy. Seemed to start slowly, but by year’s end, I had a lot of trouble paring the list of my ’09 favorites down to fit on one CD. As always, please continue to share your own recommendations for new music in the comments of Gheorghe.

On a personal note, it was not such a superb year in my life. Without delving into too much Dear Diary detail, a good woman and I parted ways last winter, and nothing’s quite been the same in my life, for better or for worse. As more than one of you can attest to, such life-changing events leave a scar. As the parents among the G:TB family can attest to, preserving the peace in little ones’ lives is a daily battle. Put those elements together, and the quest for the elusive grail that’s known as “happiness” can be of Arthurian proportions. Fortunately, I have a mantra that appears before me on regular visits: “life would be better if we all took ourselves a little less seriously.” And I do. As such, it’s been easier to appreciate the good things in 2009 than ever before.

And away we go…

Madness, “That Close”

Cracker, “Sunrise in the Land of Milk and Honey”

I love the Washington Redskins. I love the New York Mets. Both franchises seem to enjoy punishing me for such sentiments lately. Though the ‘Skins have been yanked off local TV (see the comments from the last post), I’ll find a way to give their ’09 campaign the Viking funeral it deserves. Bleakness abound in both of my favorite teams’ camps. But out of nowhere, the College of William & Mary in Virginia’s athletic programs have proven an unlikely salve to my ocular agony. First, the Tribe football team comes “that close” to moving to the I-AA championship, winning a lot of good ballgames along the way. Second, the men’s hoops program has risen from the asses and . . . well, I won’t count any chickens, but we’ve garnered more entertainment out of 11 games this season than in that many seasons during the late 80’s and early 90’s. It’s the land of milk and honey when all was getting pretty sour in my world.

Similarly, just when I was lamenting the early-year dearth of top-shelf musical releases, out of absolutely nowhere came my two favorite albums of 2009. Cracker’s been one of my top bands for 15 years, and I’ve always dug what Madness did in the 80’s, but I have to say I didn’t see either of these coming. Start to finish great records, what little press both bands are getting for them has been high praise. Of note is that neither has an obvious single to point to as the best song, and the songs I selected, while my favorites, aren’t highlighted in any review I’ve read. Cracker is kick-ass guitar rock, Madness is hooky Brit-ska-pop. Just like you remember.

Gordon Gano & the Ryans, “Hired Gun”

We also got introduced to some new music by G:TB’s latest hired gun, the Z-man. Zoltron Zoltan, Esquire, joined the force this year and brought a deeper shade of soul to our airwaves. If nothing else, he helped us rewrite the Gheorghe record books for posts in one year. We also got some excellent commentary out of Dan, who stopped lurking and came out to play, Timmy Marls, the Wheelies, and a slew of other readers. To say we appreciate everyone playing along with our inanity is an understatement.

Grizzly Bear, “Two Weeks”

Two weeks is roughly what Rob and I ballparked for the shelf-life of first little blog concept, a baseball-themed endeavor called Misery Loves Company. After seven years, Rob is writing MLC’s obit today, as we ran our course and then some over there. It was a good run while it lasted, and more pertinently, our ability to actually see it through paved the way for Gheorghe: The Blog to get out of Rob’s head and into the ’sphere. RIP, MLC.

Elvis Perkins In Dearland, “Shampoo”

Here’s to technology bettering my listening pleasure. Yep, there are dozens of salutes to the decade’s electronic advances in your local ragsheets this week, but for me personally, it can be summed up succinctly by this song. I went to eMusic, where I have a monthly membership. The site recommended this artist based on my previous downloads. I snagged a few tunes based on reader reviews and ratings. I threw the iPod on shuffle, and out of 24,000, this one came up along the way. Played it again, and then again. One of my most listened tunes of the year, and no way does it reach me without Gates, Jobs, and their ilk working a lot harder than I do. Thanks.

The Avett Brothers, “Kick Drum Heart”

Wilco, “I'll Fight”

Conor Oberst and the Mystic Valley Band, “Nikorette”

Ryan Bingham, “Tell My Mother I Miss Her So”

U2, “No Line On The Horizon”

I mentioned this one last year, and I’m glad to reiterate it: live music makes me happy. Seeing Wilco always brings it, but seeing them with Rob and other friends at Wolf Trap and having them unearth my favorite tune of theirs on a drunken Wednesday night? Yeah. Seeing the unheralded Ryan Bingham in a tiny bar? Seeing the Avett Brothers in a small local opera house?? Seeing U2 for the first time, and having general admission field passes? Seeing Devo?? It was all great. Social Distortion, Band of Horses, Drive-By Truckers, Indecision, Cracker, and everyone we saw at JazzFest. I don’t think I have anything on the docket yet for 2010, but in due time . . .

Levon Helm, “Growin' Trade”

It's my thought that Levon is telling us what ever became of Virgil Caine with this track off his fantastic new record. The song tells the story of a farmer who’s had to adjust to these tough times by growing the Teej Tobacco. I heartily endorse Levon Helm’s new stuff, and I heartily enjoy the other stuff, and whatever you do to get you through these days and nights and put a smile on your face.

Neko Case, “Red Tide”

M. Ward, “Never Had Nobody Like You”

Ladies, we still greatly appreciate your presence here. Official G:TB Sweetheart Shlara, KQ, Sammy, guys posing as their girlfriends/wives, and any other female who invades our Zeke Mowatt locker room here. (Especially you lurking ladies afraid to make your presence felt . . . and you know who you are.) Stick around, won’t you?

Thao with the Get Down Stay Down, “Cool Yourself”

I appreciate that not every person who went to William & Mary is a total wiener. Thriller dances, he-she HC queen, and dweeby photos notwithstanding.

Greasetruck, “The Bear”

Ned Henry, “20”

Random Idiots, “Dear Ozzy (Thanks for Nothing)”

I'm really impressed by the continued creativity of my friends. Dave churned out his aural madness once again – topping out with “The Bear,” one of my favorite songs by anyone all year. My high school friend Ned put out a song based on last year’s 20-year reunion; it mentioned my receding hairline and my drinking problem, and I still really dig it. And the Idiots’ latest anthem . . . which, as I reflect, has the same characteristics as baseball and myself in the way Mark insulted us, but one which amuses me nonetheless. I have a picture in my dining room that Rob painted this year. And I have a blog to read every day where friends of mine contribute their time and effort voluntarily without any sort of compensation beyond mutual enjoyment. Pretty cool.

Dave Matthews Band, “Funny the Way It Is”

The Lord works in mysterious ways, so they say. Along the road of this somewhat trying year, whenever I even came close to feeling sorry for myself, I got steady doses of what real life pain really is – not mine, but my friends’. If the big picture ever clouded, if I ever dared to bemoan the pecuniary problems, living conditions, or missing my little ones that my actions had caused, within a very short time I’d hear about people I care about going through much more grueling stuff. Like fathers coming home from the doc with grave news, or parents passing in the night, or children with real problems. The stuff of adult tears. Lost jobs with no prospects. Moving out of residences, not by choice. Real life leaving a mark. And while I won’t dismiss my struggles lightly, I know them to be transitory in nature, and I have been steadily reminded what very good friends are around every corner (or in the corner bar). So I don't get to be bummed out for very long, ever. Funny the way it is.

Animal Collective, “My Girls”

Last year I referenced my two daughters, if only to mention how I wouldn’t discuss them in this forum. I’ll go contrary this year – but keep it uncharacteristically brief. I appreciate my two little angels in a way I don’t disclose often enough. There is nothing in this world that comes close to motivating me like they do, and I expect that will be the case for all my days. Here’s hoping you all have someone or something to bring the joy like that, and if you don’t yet, get on about finding it. Okay . . . enough sappiness, and back to your regularly scheduled dipshittery (one of my favorite new G:TB expressions; thank you, Rob).

[I also really, really love pints of Guinness, Tortuga’s Lie, Jameson on the rocks, old episodes of “Cheers,” baseball, 70’s Bush, old clips of Dr. J, Dale’s in the can, Sandra Bullock in the can, rampant juvenilia, a noontime buzz, and good rock ‘n’ roll. Those things may be more appropriate to appreciate here.]

Heartless Bastards, “The Mountain”

7 Worlds Collide, “Too Blue”

I very much appreciate – in advance – the Gheorghe: The Blog Summit of 2010. It’s on. I’ll be your cruise director, and I’ll be in touch. Get fired up. And once again let me give kudos and thanks to the merry band of assclowns that makes up the G:TB roster. 394 posts is nothing to sneeze at, however you populate them; the amusingly asinine ramblings that comprise our last 365 days, though, will keep us coming back for more. Keep it up, lads . . . using whatever pills you need to do so.

The National, “So Far Around the Bend”

White Rabbits, “Percussion Gun”

Bloodkin, “A Place to Crash”

Jason Isbell & the 400 Unit, “Sunstroke”

The xx, “Crystalised”

Tina Dico, “No Time to Sleep”

Pearl Jam, “Got Some”

These songs didn’t fit into my 12 appreciations, but they’re good. Enough said.

Favorite albums: Cracker (Sunrise in the Land of Milk & Honey), Madness (The Liberty of Norton Folgate), The Avett Brothers (I and Love and You – which was very good, but which I didn’t enjoy as much as Emotionalism, or as much as the mainstream critics praised it), Levon Helm (Electric Dirt), Neko Case (Middle Cyclone), Random Idiots (VH-1’s Behind the Music video), U2 (No Line on the Horizon), Nirvana (Live at Reading), the compilation Dark Was the Night.

Well, that finishes off 2009 for me. Here’s to a fantastic 2010 just a matter of hours away. Cheers, and to all a good night.

Selfie

It's fair to say that the G:TB community has done it's fair share of experimentation with the fruits of fermentation. We enjoy a tipple from time to time, for certain. (Time to time, in this case, defined as "each day".) One might even argue that we're something of experts on the art of intoxication.

News from Texas, however, threatens to paint us all as mere pikers.

A 61-year-old man — with a history of home-brewing — stumbled into a Texas emergency room complaining of dizziness. Nurses ran a Breathalyzer test. And sure enough, the man's blood alcohol concentration was a whopping 0.37 percent, or almost five times the legal limit for driving in Texas.

There was just one hitch: The man said that he hadn't touched a drop of alcohol that day.

His wife, friends, and doctors were puzzled. The obvious answer: he'd been sneaking drinks, like most mornings for Teejay at the Cracker Factory. But as a pair of clinicians dug into the issue, they found something astounding:

So the team searched the man's belongings for liquor and then isolated him in a hospital room for 24 hours. Throughout the day, he ate carbohydrate-rich foods, and the doctors periodically checked his blood for alcohol. At one point, it rose 0.12 percent.

Eventually, McCarthy and Cordell pinpointed the culprit: an overabundance of brewer's yeast in his gut.

That's right, folks. According to Cordell and McCarthy, the man's intestinal tract was acting like his own internal brewery.

The patient had an infection with , Cordell says. So when he ate or drank a bunch of starch — a bagel, pasta or even a soda — the yeast fermented the sugars into ethanol, and he would get drunk. Essentially, he was brewing beer in his own gut. Cordell and McCarthy the case of "auto-brewery syndrome" a few months ago in the International Journal of Clinical Medicine.

It goes without saying that this paints home-brewing in an entirely different light. And offers more than a few of us an expansive new canvas upon which to express our excuse-making talent.

The Capper

When the story of G:TB is written (GTB:TS), this week won't make any of the 'Best Of' lists. Cracker factories, man, they really aren't conducive to high-level content production.

But the people want content, friends, and content we'll give them. As you head into your weekend, here's a terrific new listen from Bon Iver's Justin Vernon and friends. Recording as The Shouting Matches, Vernon ditches his falsetto for a bluesy growl on a record entitled Grownass Man that NPR Music describes as 'agreeably ramshackle'. I've been digging it all week - listen to it here, and enjoy the videos below.

Best of Enemies

Last Sunday, Jurgen Klopp's Liverpool tied Pep Guardiola's Manchester City, 1-1, in a cracker of a Premier League match at Liverpool's Anfield Stadium. The two teams are separated by one point in the league table with 10 matches to play. To make things even more potentially epic, Arsenal is tied with Liverpool and technically atop the table on point differential.

In late January, Klopp announced his intent to leave Liverpool at the end of the season after 8 and a half years with the club. During that span, Klopp won a Premier League title, a Champions League trophy, the FIFA Club World Cup, the FA Cup, the League Cup and the UEFA Super Cup. He will go down as one of the most beloved managers in club history, as much for his Teutonic Care Bear personality and rollicking, fast-paced, pressing football as for his results.

@meninblazers JURGEN KLOPP GIVES THE BEST HUGS. "It's very important that you're empathic. That you try to understand the people around you and give real support to the people around you." #LFC #Liverpool #Klopp ♬ original sound - Men in Blazers

While Liverpool fans revere Klopp, one imagines that they wonder what might have been if Guardiola hadn't been at City at the same time (and the Emirati-owned club hadn't spent prolifically - and allegedly illegally - on amassing exceptional talent). Guardiola has been in Manchester since 2016, and won five Premier League crowns, two FA Cups, four League Cups, a Champions League title, a UEFA Super Cup and a FIFA Club World Cup.

If the results on the field in England were tilted towards Guardiola, the two managers are actually evenly matched across their careers. Over the course of their careers, the pair have met 29 times (Before England, Klopp coached Borussia Dortmund in Germany against Guardiola's Bayern Munich). Klopp's teams have won 12, Guardiola's 11, with six draws. No manager in world football has beaten Guardiola more times than Klopp.

There are rare occasions in sport and, really, in any endeavor, where rivals compete intensely while maintaining great personal respect and in doing both, elevate their profession. Klopp and Guardiola have undeniably changed English football from a smashmouth war of attrition to an attractive, pressing, intense competition.

And the two know it and respect the others' contribution to the game. Klopp recently said of Guardiola, "I knew 3,000 players who were better than me but I still loved the game. It never frustrated me, he made me a better manager. I know I am not bad but he is the best." 

For his part, Guardiola admitted, "Personally he has been my biggest rival from when he was at Dortmund and I was at Bayern Munich. He will be missed, personally I will miss. I am pleased because without him I will sleep a little bit better the night before we play against Liverpool! But I wish him all the best."

The two exchanged words and a warm embrace after Sunday's classic. We won't likely see a better rivalry any time soon.

A Little Gheorghemas Wrapping Paper Left Over

Didn't want to clunk up Day 12 with too much inanity, so we have some leftovers. 

First, another thing I always enjoy seeing: artists giving a shout-out and going to see other bands. I remember standing next to comedian Lewis Black and watching him gleefully watch Tedeschi Trucks in Golden Gate Park minutes after he delivered a side-splitting comedy set.  Good stuff.

I saw both of the bands below (all three. technically) in 2020, and they were terrific. Glad we have some crossover appreciation, and I agree with the DBT assessment.  (Camper/Cracker in DC in 10 days.  DBT's there in February.)

On another note, I thought I would issue the year-end report card, not as a means to scold people, but as a sincere shout-out to the tiny dictator who keeps this sputtering engine chugging along.  Seriously... our boy contributed 57% of the postings on Gheorghe: The Blog.  Major kudos to Rob. And thanks.

And finally, year-end playlists of the best tunes of the previous 365 are a dime a dozen, but here's 9 cents' worth of good music from 2019.  As a bonus, here are also 100 songs I enjoyed from the past decade.

Notify, Vol. VIII

Rob recently checked in on the WFCSAGS recurring feature and provided an update. Not sure Zman can with WCSAGD, other than to keep saying "Nobody's bought one yet!"

Well, here's an update nobody even asked for -- the Notify News! Welcome back to the Notify show, the one where we highlight songs not on Spotify!

And here's the latest, including which songs we highlighted that are now available on Spotify after all. [If you think I'm implying with such a post as this that the G:TB Notify posts have influenced the powers that be at Spotify, well, yes, yes I am.]

Here are the songs that I brought to that platform for you:

• De La Soul, "Eye Know"
• Toad the Wet Sprocket, "Rock and Roll All Nite"
• Garth Brooks, "Hard Luck Woman"
• Klark Kent, "Away from Home"
• All of Neil Young!
• CSNY, "Woodstock"
• Joni Mitchell, "Big Yellow Taxi"
• Nils Lofgren: "Keith Don't Go," "Bullets Fever," and "Jhoon Rhee Ad"
• The Blues Brothers, "Shake a Tail Feather"
• The Smithereens, "In a Lonely Place"
• The Dream Academy, "Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want [instrumental]"

Z Specials

• The Beatnuts, "Off the Books" (on compilation and Big Pun album)
• Nina Simone, "Gin House Blues [live]"
• The Pharcyde, "I'm That Type of N****"

The rest, for which we remain ever vigilant:

• Brian Wilson, "Brian Wilson"
• Stevie Wonder vs The Clash, "Casbah Uptight"
• UB40, "One in Ten"
• CvB, "Laundromat"
• Arcade Fire, "Guns of Brixton [live at BBC Culture Show]"
• The Clash, "Listen"
• Aztec Camera, "Jump"
• CvB, "Eye of Fatima"
• Strontium 90, "Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic"
• The Police, "Nothing Achieving"
• Dropkick Murphys, "Guns of Brixton [live]"
• Wyclef Jean, "Electric City"
• Pizzicato 5, "Twiggy Twiggy"
• Danger Mpouse, "What More Can I Say"
• The Clash, "(In the) Pouring Rain"
• Cracker, "Been Around the World"
• Total Coelo. "I Eat Cannibals [original]"
• Zodiac Mindwarp and the Love Reaction, "Prime Mover"
• The Walkmen, "Greasy Saint"
• Ray LaMontagne, "Crazy"
• Father John Misty, "The Suburbs"
• Bruce Greenwood & Circle the Wagons, "2 Ft. O' Butt Crack"

Okay, there's the recap. But what about some new Not-ifies?

Fair enough. 

Who doesn't love Ween?? Well, I don't right now, since they cancelled the show that was playing around here this weekend. But then again, it was for Deaner's mental health, and I'm for that. We waited out Gener, we'll wait for his buddy. 

Here are a couple of lost tracks.

Here's a tune they wrote when Captain Trips died.

And another for an All-Star pitcher's cousin. Love this one.

Speaking of dying, the Margaritaville Man died last year, and here's an old tune he did that appeared on the Urban Cowboy soundtrack.

Here's one that didn't even have a presence online until a month ago. An old tune by old VU-er John Cale, somewhere in the late 1970's. 

And there there's this. 1983's sophomoric, misogynistic, ludicrous, and mildly amusing Jerky Boys precursor, "Cooky Puss!" All hail Carvel ice cream. This ain't no Fudgie the Whale. 

That's all for Notify this go-around!

BUT... that's not all for Cooky Puss!  Stay tuned for Part II of the Cooky Puss saga!! It's fascinating!!

Chili Cook-Off at Cracker Factory Today

The wife lost by a vote last year, and is out for revenge. The batch of chili she has made this year is absurd. It should win. But then again, we felt the same last year. All I know is it's about time to hop on the ol' FLAVORTOWN EXPRESS...

Triple D(eez nutz)

The chili recipe (from the day's winner):

Pre cook all:

2lbs ground beef…fat drained

1 lb chuck

1 package Andouille sausage cut up (easier to cut it cooked)

 

Grind up in food processor or chop:

2 bell red peppers

1 lg white onion

A handful of peppers: jalepeno, haberno, 1 thai, pablano etc

 

Add together meats and veggies with spices: (I have no idea how much of each. I think this is the order of most to least)

Paprika

Chili powder

Red pepper flakes

Cumin

Cinnamon

 

Added in:

1 28oz crushed tomatoes

1 8oz tomato paste

1 16oz tomato sauce

 

Cooked more

 

Added in:

1 Porter beer

Cup of coffee

1 cup stock

¾ cup real maple syrup…Vermont fancy pants stuff

 

Cooked for a couple hours on stove top.

And now its in crockpot all day. On the stove top it didn’t cook the chuck enough. Would probably be a-ok tho to eat for dinner that night and just eat leftover reheated.

The 12 Days of Gheorghemas: Day 12

On the twelfth day of Gheorghemas, Big Gheorghe gave to me...

 


Twelve Appreciations
Eleven Months of Awesome
Ten Reasons Being
Late Gifts Still Worth Giving
Eight Chapters on Music in a Post 
Seven Books For Reading (Seriously) 
Six Beers Worth Drinking 
A fiiiiifth Golden Ring..... (please?) 
Four Years of Marcus
Three Scummers Picking
Two albums to look forward to 
and 

A fat guy in a jersey 

It's that time of year again.  Yes, that special part of the calendar when you come to G:TB and ask, "It's still Gheorghemas??"

I'm drawing the curtains on another fine Gmas season, this time before Chinese New Year.  Cue the fireworks and dim sum.

As always, I intend to pair a dozen of the many things for which I am grateful with my favorite songs released in 2014.  Mainly I'm lucky to still be alive, employed, and with children at age 44, but as I was compiling this year's list of aspects of my life that make me particularly appreciative, I noticed something. They were the same things as I write every year. Friends, family, music, beach trips, Dale's Pale Ale, etc.  Kind of boring, even for me.

So here it is: I'm really very thankful for you clowns.  All of yous.  Don't let it go to your heads.

I listened to enough good new music this year that my end-of-year compilation stretched to two discs, the Upside faster stuff and the Downside mellow stuff.  Available upon request and via Spotify playlists below, but here's how I map them to my friends in the microblogosphere known as Gheorghe.  Come with me now and hear some of it.

Kongos, "Come With Me Now"


Marls
Cracker, "March of the Billionaires"

Dreamers, "Wolves"

Marls is a good egg.  He's a generous sort with whom I have had some fairly indulgent fun lately (Springsteen Row 1, Mets 15th row, Hamptons rollicking, New Orleans debauching).  Makes me feel like the billionaire I won't ever be, and I appreciate it.  Also, every 5th word out of Marls' Long Island mouth is the F-word, and the Dreamers song is blatantly NSFW.

Jerry
Modest Mouse, "Lampshades on Fire"

At the 2004 DC Santa Stumble, Jerry called me a music snob.  I protested and asked for evidence to support his claim. Without hesitation, he replied, "Okay, I bet you liked Modest Mouse way before they got popular."  I laughed really hard.  But dammit, their 1996 song "Talking Shit About a Pretty Sunset" is six minutes of slow-moving indie melody not to be missed. Jerry, thanks for always calling me on my bullshit in a way that makes me laugh.

By the way, "Lampshades on Fire" was released in December and may be my favorite of the year.

Zman
Drive-By Truckers, "Made Up English Oceans"
The Black Keys, "Fever"


Z, thanks for keeping me up to date on the bands I like and the shoes I don't.  Better reviews of music than in any publication people pay for, and a willingness to open your doors and couch and Tonka trucks and mustard for a great show.  Many thanks.


TR
alt-J, "Left Hand Free"
Painted Palms, "Spinning Signs"

The title of one of these and the band name of the other seem vaguely to be onanistic references.  For some reason, that makes me think of TR -- especially the mustachioed version.  TR, thanks for eagerly lampooning yourself for a good GTB laugh.  It underscores the premise of why we congregate here.

Mark
The New Basement Tapes, "Kansas City"
Tove Lo, "Habits (Stay High)"


Here's why I like Mark: usually you have two friends, one who has the storytelling skill, penchant for poignancy, and depth to share personal stories like the one about his dad playing soccer at Rockhurst University in Kansas City, another who breaks bad here and there and can serve as an audience so Clarence can relate bawdy tales of pale ales and large rails off medium bosoms.  Mark has broad enough shoulders to be both of those guys when he wants.  Quality.

Dave
Mike Doughty, "Light Will Keep Your Heart Beating in the Future"
Ray LaMontagne, "Supernova"

I am usually appreciative for the diverse array of Greasetruck music Dave, Mr. Truck, and the Almighty Yojo release. 2014 was a lean year for that.  But in his stead, I submit the Mike Doughty tune as the best banjo rock song since "The Bear" in 2009, and the Ray LaMontagne song as the best song to use that word since "Anna Kournikova Supernova" in the early aughts.  I thank Dave for serving as the foil of mine like no other for over 25 years.  May the Idiots record something in 2015.  Or release a dance remix.

Rootsminer
Hozier, "Take Me to Church"
Stereo Explosion, "Now or Forever"

Rootsy met me out in a Roanoke bar this year and had his drinkin' shoes firmly afoot. The night was blurry, but one thing is clear: I gotta get me back to the Star City for more fun with my little little little little brother -- and return to his recording studio which resembles a church music room.  2015, the year Clarence and I record a Duets album.  I need to do it now or forever hold my piece. Stay tuned. Cheers, Rootsy.

Dennis
Future Islands, "Seasons (BADBADNOTGOOD Remix)"

While this version of the song sounds très Zman, the chorus is all Dennis, as we await his return from an anarcho-syndicalist commune.

Danimal
Sharon Van Etten, "Taking Chances"
Milky Chance, "Stolen Dance"

Though several dabble, Danimal seems to be the resident bookmaker at G:TB. Perhaps his old pal Jean Pierre factors into that. But thank you, Danny Boy, for showing me how someone very much in the know can get consistently burned by the outcome of games so I don't add this vice to an already long list.  (He's also the resident bartender.  Those recommendations I dive into willingly.)

Mr. KQ
St. Paul and the Broken Bones, "Call Me"

"Core principles" is a term coined a decade or so ago by a wise person among our circle of friends to describe the notion that if you happen upon one of our gang's hometowns, you call them up and go have a beer.  While newer to our group, Señor KQ seems to have mastered core principles since well before we were even born.  And although his favorite activities include crouching, touching, and engaging, we will still take his calls and drink his booze every time out.

Greg
Death from Above 1979, "Trainwreck 1979"

Greg's about the youngest among us. If he was born in 1979, this song title is perfect.  Either way, it's good rock.  And Greg is, too.

Mayhugh
Cheap Girls, "Knock Me Over"

I don't know anybody in my town who's a boxing fan.  If the sport is ever mentioned, everyone bemoans its deep decline and irrelevance in the modern sporting world.  I'm able to contribute some counter-evidence in the argument thanks to Mayhugh (and Mark) as the champion of a not dead yet sport.

Squeaky
Catfish and the Bottlemen, "Kathleen"
Interpol, "All the Rage Back Home"

The Squeaker keeps me up to speed on new music.  Catfish and the Bottlemen is a little known Welsh alt-rock band, just the type of thing Squeaky would unearth for me.  And if he'd sent it my way, Squeaker would be sure to note that the song is all the rage back where they're from.  Keep 'em coming, little buddy.


Gheorghe's Ladies
Ingrid Michaelson, "Girls Chase Boys"
Jenny Lewis, "Just One of the Guys"
Meg Myers, "Desire"
Alvvays, "Archie, Marry Me"

Ladies love cool James.  Whitney loves cool ladies.  We have more than a few of them in our midst, which we would have figured impossible when we were in college.  They lend credibility and context to our boys' locker room, even as we (really I) bug Shlara with dick jokes and dipshittery.  God bless you, fair ladies, and here's to the lot of you.  The hole really is greater than the sum of your lady parts.

Geoff
Sun Kil Moon, "Ben's My Friend"

Ben "Boots" Brubeck is his friend.  And we all remember the Boots blogpost.

TJ
First Aid Kit, "Silver Lining"

Lykke Li, "No Rest for the Wicked"

Beck, "Blue Moon"

Not one but two Swedish indie pop acts make the 2014 list.  Pretty rare.  As were Teej blog appearances in 2014.  He checks in only once in a blue moon, but (a) he's earned a reprieve after shouldering the load (ngs) for the early era of Gheorghe, and (b) we appreciate him getting schooled now so he can get a cushy job that will allow him to blog at will.

Rob
Old 97's, "Longer Than You've Been Alive"
Counting Crows, "Scarecrow"
J. Mascis, "Every Morning"

Plenty to thank Rob for, as has been the case since 1988.  Performing more heavy lifting 'round these parts than any of us -- truly one of the best bloggers ever, pound for pound.  His core principles are in the 95th percentile, and he keeps Clarence humble while absorbing every last stupid, trite short joke. Not bad for a wee one.  Just as deep down "Cheers" was really about Norm Peterson, as evidenced by the theme song and the fact that he was the only character to appear in every episode, this place is mostly about Rob. With some Teej, Dave, and other goofy characters thrown in for comedic effect.  And we like it that way.  Every morning I check gheorghe77.blogspot.com to see if Rob's posted, and more often than not he has answered the bell.  Cheers, my friend.

Clarence
Sleater-Kinney, "Bury Our Friends"

I am grateful for having Clarence on the blog, if only because he says the things I really shouldn't.  Here's hoping he sticks around and we don't have to bury this friend like we have had to bury too many already, including one whose Gheorghie self-proclamations were appended by multiple exclamation points. 

Miscellaneous
Strand of Oaks, "Goshen '97"
Cold War Kids, "All This Could Be Yours"
Aer, "Says She Loves Me"
Ex-Cops, "Black Soap"
The Asteroids Galaxy Tour, "My Club"



Gheorghe Muresan
Aloe Blacc, "The Man"

Of course.  And we are doing this in 2015.  (The second item on the menu.)







Say goodbye to Gheorghemas.  Say goodbye, my baby.

XPNentially Better

Is WXPN the best radio station on the planet?

Lately I've tried to avoid using words like "best," "worst," "good" and "bad" when it comes to things like music. There's really only stuff you like and stuff you don't, and although people like Dave, Mr. Truck, and Almighty Yojo seem to exist in this world only to herald their favorite things as "the best" and their dislikes as "the worst," applying those terms to the arts is kind of silly. (This post is the worst thing Dave has ever read.)

But yeah, WXPN's the best.

Or at least it's the best for me, a perfect sampling of my favorite songs by my favorite artists. Might not be so fan-riffic for you. But check out yesterday's playlist.

Seriously, looking at All Saint's Day as just one day in a year's worth of good music, here's what you could have heard:

• The Band
• vintage Beasties
• my favorite Springsteen song ever
• Mayer Hawthorne
• Wilco (x 3)
• Trombone Shorty
• Grateful Dead
• Cracker
• all Rob's best-loved bands (Police, Bob Mould, Crowded House, Chilis, etc)
• Ryan Adams
• Ryan Bingham
• multiple Clash songs (including Dave's favorite)
• Iggy Pop
• 50 new songs including some we have recommended to you here before

...and it goes on. Hell, maybe it's just perfectly suited for me and hip, hip ladies like me. Not just the artists I like, but their best stuff, songs like "I Need to Know" and "What's the Story Morning Glory" and "Girlfriend Is Better" instead of always resorting to "Refugee," "Wonderwall," and "Burning Down the House." It's the only station I know to consistently play the Old 97's, which really is all I need to be interested. The only place you'll hear the Truckers followed by Foster the People followed by Buddy Guy.

Anyway, I've mentioned the station before at G:TB, but I got away from listening for much of this year. I'm hooked again. Through the WXPN app or WunderRadio (one of the coolest things technology has brought me in the history of my life) I can listen on my phone -- in the car or wherever. At work I stream it from the website. When I was in PA two week ago I did this really cool thing and used the FM function of my car stereo, tuning to 88.5 on my dial. It was like the future of music.

WXPN is a public radio station at UPenn in Philly, and it's been around for the last 20 years. Get some.

* * * * *

Speaking of music...

I recently re-read Zman's take on the latest Mayer Hawthorne release as I was listening to it. The kid is good. (I actually mean Zman, but Hawthorne is also decent)... Rhett Miller with a live solo cover album coming out soon. Rob tells me he does "California Stars." Worlds colliding... Peter Bjorn & John might not be a one-hit wonder after all... Feist has taken over for Cat Power as the kinda hot, killer voiced chick I'd like to make mine. Much to her chagrin... RnRHoF has The Cure, G N' R, the Chili Peppers, and the Beasties, among others, on the list of nominees this year. They also have Heart... Wilco's new album is a B+ if you're a fan of the band's stuff, more like a B- if you're not. As with many of their albums, it's a grower. 20 listens over the last month and half and it's a lot better album than it was. The last song is 12 mellow minutes, but it might be the best on the record...

GTB5K

"I don't trust anyone that can't laugh at himself."

Those are the first words ever committed to the interwebz under the banner of Gheorghe: The Blog, way back on November 7, 2003. If I had it to do again, I'd broaden the gender category - that's one of the many ways we've become more enlightened humans around this space. But I feel pretty good about how that sentiment has held up, and how we've maintained that ethos lo these many years.

This post represents a milestone in absurdity, self-referential writing, friendship, and love. This post, my friends is the 5,000th in the history of Gheorghe: The Blog. We've seen more than 3.5 million pageviews and over 137,000 comments in that span. We've met internet friends who've turned into real ones, and built tighter friendships with good humans we already knew. Not bad for a paean to dipshittery cooked up by a guy who was bored at work - and really importantly, picked up and kickstarted by a different guy in a similar professional situation. It's an unequivocal fact: there is no community of Gheorghies without the Teej.

So we gather here at this august moment in history to celebrate that community, built on whimsy, grounded in silliness, buttressed by shared interests, adorned occasionally with sentiment, decent writing, and serious musings. I've assembled a cast of a couple to talk about their experience over these nearly twenty years, and I'd love to hear about yours in the comments.

[Amused after the fact, though I probably shouldn't be, how similar many of our answers are. The GTB hive is real and it's spectacular.]

What's your earliest GTB memory? 

Whitney

Check out this email! (And my ignorant reply.) 

Gheorghe: the internet magazine, whatever that is, popped up in the earliest part of the millennium, just as a tool for us tools to writer about what we like and aspire to make each other think… or at least chuckle. Blink and you missed it. 

Cue the Webster… Then came you, Gheorghe: The Blog! 

Fresh off a season of watching baseball with Rob, I saw him leap into the deep end of this blog. And then promptly hand the keys to the cabana to the Teej. Give rob ownership and founding father status, of course, but be sure to give TJ credit for turning this site from really nothing into really something. A very silly something, to be sure, which was perfect and on mission. 

I was happy to take my place at the table as the third contributor. If rob is Sam and TJ is Norm, I came in as Cliff, a pretty annoying know-it-all loser who eventually found his voice… as exactly that.

It’s worth going back into the annals. It was the wild west back then, and it's all over the place, but it's a treasure trove of laughs and head-shakes. But I've also really enjoyed the plethora of participants along the way. What a roster of contributors, commenters, critics, and clowns. 

Teej

In typical GTB fashion, this post is delayed... because I procrastinated any and all answers. All I seem to recall is telling me about a "blog" lo these many years ago, and it sure seemed like a good way to pass my time at work rather than, ya know, working. It's hilarious to see my piss poor attempts to be New Jersey Ave NW's version of the Boston Sports Guy. Those early posts are cringe, but they also were the highlight of my day. And on those rarest of rare occasions the OG Deadspin would link to something WE put on this blog, I felt a lot more price in that than the cracker factory shifts I was doing back then. [Rob: I totally forgot that used to happen. It was, indeed, glorious.]

Rob

Ironically, or par for the course if you ask my wife, I do not remember the founding details of GTB. But I do remember The Teej posting about a random encounter he had with our blog's namesake in New York's Little Italy.

What's your favorite GTB post of all-time? 

Whitney

Ooooh, good one. And impossible to answer properly. 

• The first post ever was a dandy. 
• Here's one of Mark's that everyone loved... 321 comments. My goodness. 
• The Cauc Hop. Terrible but fun. 
• The Manliness continuum was fantastic. 
• The Spahn Ball. 'Nuff said.

I have gotten a lot of mileage out of the Top 20 Douches in Rock and Roll, and I'm tempted to say that TJ finding pure gold is my fave, but the truth is that I have even more appreciation for the depth of posts like this one and this one and this one and this one.

But I'll go with this one. Because it captured the event that captures us and this blog the best.

Teej

I mean, rob's LeBron post was an all timer. And the silly Fashion is Dumb series always makes me chuckle. But for my money, it was this doozy from Whitney - it was as blog post-y as a blog post could be. [t's also a good reminder that the two other guys who answered these questions have always been great writers, and I did stuff like The Ghoogles - the Teej knows his lane]

There was also that time I went to the State Fair.

Rob

Selfishly (look, this whole blog is an exercise in selfishness), it's the LeBron post, because of the experience that went with it. Nearly 14 years later, I can barely believe that actually happened. Just an amazing whirlwind of a few days. Owe it all to Shlara.

This one's a little more obscure, but also connected to an experience. The time Bobby Valentine slapped the Teej on the ass at a movie screening was sublime and ridiculous in equal measure. 

I also have fond memories of the Most Outstanding Achievement in the History of the Internet.

The Teej's trip to the Indiana State Fair is a seminal early-GTB work. Historians will revel in it.

This one combines Whit's Grampa Jack and a most auspicious summit of all time. It's so good that we labeled it 'The greatest post in the history of this illustrious blog'.

Wrote this about my grandparents.

For what it's worth, the LeBron post is the single biggest driver of views in our history, amassing more than 37,000 sets of eyeballs. The second-highest volume? A photo essay by the Teej celebrating Hurricane Igor got over 17k. I just report the facts, folks. 

What's your favorite recurring bit? 

Whitney

• Bite Me, Randy Newman. Irony notwithstanding. 
• Gheorghe’s 6-Pack, here and here.
• TR’s Topps 80's baseball cards.
• The Elegy for a Dive Series, where I get bested by OBX Dave yet again.
• WCSAGD!!
• Whitneypedia.
• Dave’s "Ask A..." series was amazing, and this one might have gotten my top billing except for the fact that the butt of the joke ended up dying a few years later.

And, of course, Gheorghemas. I love Gmas the most, since it draws the roster out of hiding really nicely. I especially love my Day 12's Appreciations assignment, even as I fall short plenty. 

Teej

Remember that time I was convinced all we needed was a daily recurring bit like all the other bigtyme blogs, so we came up with the Ceai Complet tag? Good times, good times. 

Rob

I do love the Gheorghasbord, because it's easy and I'm lazy.

WCSAGD is the best executed bit, by some measure.

The impending doom foretold by the Large Hadron Collider makes me laugh. I may be the only one.

Zjurisprudence is both funny and educational.

I quite miss the Ghoogles.

And the 12 Days of Gheorghemas might be the best concept we've ever done. Writing the year in review is way up the list of my favorite holiday traditions.

Who’s your favorite Gheorghie? 

Whitney

I love all Gheorghies the same! And love, as Del Griffith said, is not a big enough word. 

But my answer is Dennis. 

Teej

It's obviously Dennis. 

Rob

Dave. His brain amazes, amuses, and bemuses me.

What happened to Jerry? 

Whitney

Sinkhole got ‘em. Pity the old Wheelhouse posts aren’t archived somewhere. I mean, yeah, Library of Congress and all, but that’s too hard to access. 

Teej

In 1972 a crack commando was sent to prison by a military court for a crime he didn't commit. This man promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, he survives as a soldier of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find him, maybe you can hire... Jerry.

Rob

Mark and I broke his brain. Illogic trumped logic. Chaos reigned. And he decided to grow up and put away childish things. Shame, really. Love that guy.

What's your favorite thing about GTB? 

Whitney

It’s my world away from the world. It’s such a nice safe haven. I like getting my news from here. Politics, sports, music, how the world and the things in it work, and the latest from each gheorghie's life -- celebrating the ups and commiserating/supporting the downs. 

Also, summits and mini-summits. So great.

Teej

All you assholes write gud.

Rob

The range of contributions. We contain multitudes, from Muppets to the work of an actual (reformed) professional scribe, to the emotional, to fake scientific panic (or is it fake?), to sharing actually interesting facts about the world to polyps to poop to diverse music takes. Phew. That's a lot.

Also the people. The people are pretty great. And the way they got here would make for an excellent oral history.

Who's your least favorite Gheorghie? 

Whitney

TR, because he actively quit us after he once told us on a camping trip he couldn’t. Miss that guy. That also goes for Jerry, Geoff, Swint, Mayhugh, and the rest of the defectors. 

But my answer is Almighty Yojo. 

Teej

Cane Lover. What a dick.

Rob

Dave. He knows why.

How much time do you estimate you've wasted at GTB from its founding to now? 

Whitney

69,696 hours. Except that not a moment has been wasted. Even if I was.

Teej

The number from that song in Rent. I'm not gonna Google it. Too lazy.

Rob

GTB has been around for 7,111 days as of the release of this post. I easily spend 30 minutes a day on average either writing, reading, or commenting. That's 3,555 hours, or 59.25 days. It feels like more. I bet it's more. But it's a trick question. The only thing wasted in that time was me on most Friday and Saturday nights.

What's your message to the Gheorghies after 5,000 posts here?

Whitney

I've only got one thing to say:

That, and keep on truckin'. Please keep bringing me countless hours of joy. It's the best stop on the long road through modern technology.

Teej

This:

Rob

Let's run it back. Can't wait to write about post number 10,000.

Notify, Volume VI

You know the drill... don't look for this stuff on Spotify or the major streaming services.

Did You Know??? The Smithereens' Pat DiNizio and Suzanne Vega worked together at an office in the early 80's. By the end of the decade, they were both on the charts. After he died a few years ago, she wrote: 

“I met Pat DiNizio when I was in my early 20s, in 1983. He needed a job, I had a job for him, so for a while he was my assistant, a receptionist in an office at a typesetting company in midtown New York. He called his mom in New Jersey every morning, first thing. Unfortunately, a couple of months later, my boss told me I had to fire Pat, which I then did. I was gone myself in a few months, as I had gotten a record deal. We both laughed about that later, and he asked me to sing on the track, ‘In a Lonely Place,’ which I’ve always been proud of. I loved doing the video, too. I ran into Pat constantly through the years, and he was always the same: smart, funny, driven, confident but never arrogant. Full of soul. Playing at his 60th birthday bash so recently brought it all home for me. I was shocked to learn of his death. He is still a part of my life. I feel the loss.”

This song is cool, and should be on Spotify. The Smithereens' entire album Especially for You is MIA there.

The Grey Album... I haven't heard much about it in a while, and you'll never see it on the big streamers, so here you go. 

40 years ago this week, Clash drummer Topper "The Human Drum Machine" Headon was sacked from the band for outrageous drug addictions, and nothing was ever the same for The Only Band That Matters. After that, Mick Jones was dumped, which is like booting Paul McCartney. And then three stiffs were scooped up for one final album called Cut the Crap. Later disowned. The "Cut the" part was superfluous. Anyway, they never recorded this tune for the record, but it and the song "This Is England" represent the only listenable latter-day Clash cuts. Worth a listen. God bless Joe Strummer, even if he destroyed what he loved.

David Lowery from Camper van Beethoven and Cracker is now a professor at UGA telling kids how not to get screwed in the music biz. Half of both bands' stuff is greyed out on Spotify. This tune was always one of my favorites. 

Total Coelo. "I Eat Cannibals." Ridiculous. Fun.

Fun? You want fun? Have some Zodiac Mindwarp and the Love Reaction. Never on Spotify.

Enjoy.

Happy Stupid Saturday

Life at the Cracker Factory has been downright draining over the past several weeks. I'm on the horns of a personnel dilemma that feels a lot like a no-win situation. I'm hoping to drink a lot this weekend and by doing so experience so sort of epiphany.

I did get a bit of a stress release from watching something so profoundly stupid and silly that it made my sides hurt from laughter. So I thought it would share it to lower the level of discourse here. [Not entirely sure that's possible.] It's a TikTok thing called the Ceiling Fan Water Bottle Challenge. Even the name is stupid.

Returning soon with an actual thoughtful post that's been a long time coming. But for now, dipshittery!

Honeymoon Updates, One Pic at a Time

Because I am lazy, but also swamped at the Cracker Factory.

I call this one "Falconry, bitches"

They're Making Them Faster Than I Can Watch Them

So it's been a while since I updated the gheorghies on my progress in the Music Documentary Lockdown Challenge.  Mainly because there's been little to no progress.  

In lieu of that, there are even more music docs coming out soon. Check these out:

I think Mr. KQ sent this my way: Shane MacGowan / The Pogues


h/t to OBX Dave, get some Frank Zappa.


THE Chuck Berry


Other Music, NYC record store for the ages, RIP


Songwriters extravaganza



And finally: Camper van Beethoven and Cracker.  

Please Note: this is not a trailer.  It's the whole documentary.

The YouTube notes: In 2016, I and many of my fellow loyal Crumbs spent $75K on Kickstarter to fund this film about David Lowery. The producers made the film...but didn't secure the rights to the music featured in the movie. (Genius.) Hence, it was never released.  This video is a rough cut. Comments welcome. I am making no money off this; rather, I am simply sharing with other loyal Crumbs for their enjoyment. Enjoy.

So I watched it all, as I'm a huge fan of both of his bands, and it's worthy. Dave and others, you'll enjoy.