Marls texted me on Sunday in the wake of W&M's dispiriting 41-14 home loss to Holy Cross on Saturday with a take that requires further inquiry.
"This could be the worst team in Tribe history."
To which I replied "Onassis!"
In my defense, we were in the midst of a comedy rhombus with London-based Whit riffing on the fact that the Commanders' third-string quarterback is a fella with Greek heritage. Speaking of dispiriting losses.
Marls got me thinking, and one doesn't have to go too deep to determine that - at the very least - this Tribe team is in the conversation for worst team in the lifespan of Gheorghie's as Tribe fans. That dates back to the autumn of 1988, when Whit, Jersey Dave, and I first walked the sylvan grounds of The College of William and Mary.
That year, the ninth of Jimmye Laycock's 38 seasons in Williamsburg, the Tribe was an independent playing at the I-AA level. W&M left the Southern Conference in 1977 when the NCAA divided its top division into I-A and I-AA.
The 1988 edition of the Tribe had an up and down campaign. Two years removed from Laycock's first NCAA Tournament appearance, W&M lost a close opener at UVA before running off three wins in a row, including a 10-3 win on the road against 17th-ranked JMU. They lost a heartbreaker at no. 9 Delaware, beat New Hampshire and tied no. 17 Villanova before heading to Sanford Stadium in Athens to take on Georgia.
That game against the Bulldogs is one of the vivid memories of my freshman year. We listened to it on the radio in my dorm room. I assume Whit and Dave were there, but I can't be certain of that part. W&M was tied with mighty Georgia, 7-7, at the end of the first quarter and we could dream. Fate had other ideas, and UGA outscored us 35-10 in the second frame on the way to a 59-24 victory. Still, there were positive takeaways from the game. Only Mississippi State scored more points against Georgia that season. And the Tribe generate 462 yards in total offense to a team that allowed an average of 355 against an SEC schedule that year.

Lots of offense and not a ton of concern with defense, the hallmark of the Laycock era, made for an entertaining rooting experience during my time in Williamsburg. W&M finished the 1988 campaign with home wins against Wofford and Colgate before falling to Richmond in the oldest rivalry in the South. That year, the school decided to decline a bid to the I-AA playoffs and accept the opportunity to play against a team of Japanese All-Stars in the first-ever Epson Ivy Bowl in Yokohama, Japan, where W&M won, 73-3.
W&M had two more excellent seasons in 1989 and 1990, reaching the NCAA Tournament both years and advancing to the quarterfinals in my junior year before falling to Central Florida. The 1991 team lost all five of its games against ranked opponents (including a 59-35 Natrone Means-led doozy of a game against I-A no. 20 UNC) and missed out on the postseason. That season did have a silver lining, though. I spent the season working in the press box for home games, responsible for tracking each drive and compiling the drive chart for the working media. One of those ink-stained wretches was Dave Fairbank of the Daily-Press. After the final home game of the season, a 35-13 hammering at the hands of a much-faster Samford squad, my Sports Information Office colleagues and I adjourned to Paul's Deli with the aforementioned Fairbank and a few other scribes, where I got my first taste of drinking beers with professionals. No idea if OBX Dave remembers that afternoon, but I certainly enjoyed the parts of it I recall.
Jesus. Where was I? Right, the really terrible 2026 William and Mary football squad. Sorry, got wandering down memory lane for a minute.
Bottom line: this is the worst W&M team of my Tribe-rooting lifetime. The 2012 and 2017 teams went 2-9, but both of them were competitive. The 2012 team lost six games by a touchdown or less, led Maryland until the final minutes in College Park, and lost in double-overtime on the road against no. 4 JMU. The 2017 squad was bad, but they were in the game in the fourth quarter on all but two occasions (against top-ranked JMU and no. 21 New Hampshire).
The insane ending to W&M's season-opener notwithstanding, the campaign has been one miserable outing after another. To wit:
- A week after benefitting from four Villanova turnovers and 15 Wildcat penalties in their wild win, W&M nearly blew a 22-0 fourth quarter lead at home against Delaware State, stopping the Hornets on downs in the final 90 seconds to preserve a 22-15 win. The Tribe was outgained by a 366-187 margin, recorded 10 first downs to DSU's 26, and almost lost despite a +5 turnover advantage.
- Two wins in two and feeling good headed to Lehigh. Until the Mountain Hawks scored 30 points in the game's first 21 minutes and cruised to a 44-20 win. Only got outgained 486-342 in this one, so...progress?
- Not so fast, my friend. Woeful Fordham came to town the following week, their 0-3 record in tow, and proceeded to put 52 points on W&M. They've scored 37 in their other five games combined. The Rams rushed for 428 yards that day. They've gained 417 total in their remaining contests to date. Their win against the Tribe remains their only victory on the season.
- The less we say about the following week's 62-7 loss at Duke, the better. We will note that Marls was in Durham with his Duke-alum wife and chose not to wear green and gold. No dummy, Marls.
- Holy Cross coming to town at 1-4 with a defense that had allowed at least 30 points in each of its first five games seemed ripe for a get-well opportunity for W&M. Ah, well, nevertheless. The Crusaders led, 31-7, early in the third quarter and won, 41-14. The Tribe gained 31 yards on 29 carries and 253 total yards against a team that had allowed an average of 412 coming into the matchup.
- W&M is being outscored by an average of 20.17 points per game (and they've fucking won twice!). Opponents are outgaining the Tribe 479.2 to 294.3 yards per game (269.0 to 91.3 on the ground). Jesus (William) Mary and Joseph.
It's not so much that the Tribe are losing. That happens. It's more that they've been absolutely uncompetitive for four consecutive weeks, the last two against dreadful teams at home. It's frankly embarrassing, and we've never been able to say that about W&M football in my 38 years of rooting for the Green and Gold.
Maybe it gets better, as the Tribe face a poor N.C. Central team and winless Georgetown in the next two. There's no evidence that it will though, and in fact, it sure seems that this staff is ill-equipped to deal with the realities of modern college football, which means we could be in for a long stretch of dismal football.
Onassis!
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November 7 Update
One month later, and we can conclusively say that it did NOT get better. Since we last checked in on the Tribe, here's what's happened:
Despite being outgained, 439 to 221, while allowing 6.6 yards per carry and 282 rushing yards and losing the turnover battle, 2-0, W&M
somehow managed a 17-14 win on the road at N.C. Central. Some smoke and mirrors shit.
The magic did not repeat itself the following weekend, when Mike London's boys couldn't hold a fourth quarter lead on Homecoming Weekend against a middle Georgetown squad. The Hoyas took possession at midfield with 1:27 remaining and scored 49 seconds later without using a timeout. The point after gave the visitors a 28-27 victory. The winning touchdown came on a 4th and goal from the 10.
W&M got the ball back with two timeouts remaining (having taken one on defense before Georgetown's touchdown) and promptly threw an interception on the first play of their drive.
As has become customary, the Tribe allowed Georgetown more total yards than their season average (416 versus 328.9) and gained fewer yards than the Hoyas opponents average (352 versus 389). It's goddamn uncanny at this point
The Green and Gold traveled to Hamilton, NY seeking a rebound at Colgate, where the Raiders were coming off three consecutive losses. W&M gave up 519 yards and gained 142, allowed 30 first downs while picking up 7, and got boatraced, 37-0. You won't believe this, but Colgate came into the game averaging 341.8 yards of total offense and allowing 302.5
This weekend, Lafayette brought its 3-5 record to Williamsburg, and W&M pounced on the Leopards immediately. The Tribe led, 14-0, after Andrew King scampered 39 yards for a touchdown with 11:44 remaining in the second quarter. The home team had gained 186 yards on 16 plays at that point, ripping off 11.6 yards per snap.
W&M ran 39 plays over the game's final 41:44. The Tribe managed 94 yards over that span. Meanwhile, Lafayette kicked a field goal late in the second quarter, scored on a 50-yard run in the third, then drove 80 yards in seven plays before finding the end zone on a 12-yard pass with 4:41 remaining. W&M had two cracks at a comeback, but gained a single yard on seven plays while punting and turning the ball over on downs. The Leopards closed out their 19-14 victory with a trio of kneeldowns.
What of the yards gained and allowed, you ask? I'll give you one guess, friends! Lafayette outgained the Tribe, 401-275. On the season, the Leopards average 323.8 and allow 412.1. Same as it ever was for the 2026 William and Mary outfit.
When we wrote the initial portion of this post, we concluded that this year's team is the worst since 1988, when my fandom began. Now, we're prepared to amend that, regardless of what happens the next two weeks, this is the worst team in the school's history, dating all the way back to 1693.
Over those final two weeks, W&M plays at home against 1-9 Bucknell and on the road against old rivals Richmond. Lord have mercy if they can't win the first one, 'cause there will be no mercy whatsoever against Spidey, who'll likely be smarting from a three-game losing streak.
My prediction? Pain.