American Primitive

I got so excited about the release of my dog's book that I forgot the traditional G:TB celebration of the release of a new Old 97s record. American Primitive is the 13th studio album by our guys, who are marking their 30th year together as a band. That in itself is noteworthy.

Reviews have been nearly uniformly positive, lauding the band's consistency and hailing the record as "consistently exciting and rambunctious" while claiming its 13 tracks "cut a vigorous slice through some rowdy melodies & upbeat jaunty ones". Music, one might say, to my ears.

In a splendid bit of timing, I've now sold enough books to have generated sufficient royalties to purchase a vinyl version of the record. Gonna splash some of that writer cash.

Pub Daaaaay!!!

The landscape of my interior life is littered with ideas. Notably, it's a bit harder to find execution amongst the dreamer's detritus within. But in at least one way, that changes today. 

I am super-thrilled to announce that today my book, The Adventures of JoJo The Small Town Hound: Vol. 1, Leesburg, VA and the Curious Case of Dog Money, is live in the world, available on Amazon.com for your enjoyment. Or that of your 7-10 year-old friends, more accurately.

The whole thing has been a fascinating experience, and I think the thing that's most fulfilling is the fact that I actually did something I'd envisioned. Only took 53+ years. Here's to the next one.

WFCSAGS: How Are They Doing?

Over the years, we've blessed/cursed the assembled Gheorhiage with rooting interests in various (mostly) English (mostly) Premier League teams. A number in our number brought their own allegiances to the table. But as far as I can tell, we've never really done any sort of retrospective/where are they now post about our squadrons' respective fates. Until now, that is.

I really could've chosen a scientific method for choosing the order in which we'd attack this challenge, but I'm kinda selfish, and I'm gonna start with me and my mediocre side. Fulham currently sit in 13th in the EPL on 39 points, nine more than their closest pursuer, and 14 points above the relegation zone. The Whites are safe (ain't that true) after a season where loftier goals briefly flashed. On balance, though, success.

Shlara's (and Prince William's) Aston Villa have been far sportier under the brilliant Unai Emery. With six matches to play, the Villans are deadlocked with Squeaky and Rootsy's Tottenham Hotspur on 60 points. Spurs have a game in hand and a slightly better goal difference. The top four teams in the EPL automatically qualify for Champions League play, so the fight for fourth is consequential. Unless England top Germany and Italy for a fifth slot in the newly-configured UEFA rules, in which case...fuck, man, that's complicated. Both of these teams are good, and they'll play in some European competition next year. Let's leave it at that. Except to note that Villa is alive in the quarterfinals of the UEFA Conference League, the third-tier continental competition, which...fuck, man...that's complicated.

Danimal's Manchester City have a far simpler path, at least domestically. They're in the midst of a three-way (get your simple minds out of the gutter) battle for supremacy in England. With seven matches to play, Arsenal and Liverpool are tied on 71 points, with City a slim point behind. Pep Guardiola's Blues are still alive in Champions League and FA Cup action, fighting on three fronts. Since they're arguably the best club side in the world, it'd be hard to bet against them in any of those competitions.

Marls and Dave pull for a pair of squads with different aspirations but similar disappointment. Newcastle United flew a bit too close to the sun in their first flirtation with the elites as their newest incarnation, flaming out of the Champions League and sliding back to 8th in the Premier League amidst a rash of injuries that even Saudi money couldn't overcome. Dave's Brentford buzzed around mostly impotently, alighting on 15th place in the Premier League, with a bit of work yet to do before they can start planning for another season in the top flight.

Leicester City came out of the gate a house a'fire, shrugging off the shock of relegation by making a statement about the impermanence of their fate. Whit's Foxes (one of the worst Charlie's Angels knockoffs we can recall) won 13 of their first 14 English League Championship matches, setting a sporty pace for the rest of the division. Since mid-February, however, they've won three, drawn one, and lost six. They're tied with Ipswich Town on 88 points at the top of the table, with Leeds United one point back and four matches remaining. The top two teams earn automatic promotion to the Premier League, while the third-place team fights it out in a four-team tournament for the final spot at the top. White knuckle ride for Leicester Nation.

Zman and his Canaries have been out of the spotlight for a while, but they've got a puncher's chance of changing that, thanks in no small part to Josh Sargent, American Ginger. Norwich City are in sixth place in the Championship with a five-point cushion over seventh-place Coventry City, and in line for a spot in the the four-way cage match for the final promotion spot. Sargent's battled back from injury to record 15 goals in just 22 games, good for fifth in the league despite playing 14 fewer matches than anyone above him in the scoring table. If he keeps it up, we could see him lead the line for the Yanks in 2026.

Finally, we get to our man Teej, who manages to hold two different allegiances in his capacious heart. His Michael Bolton Wanderers are at risk of surprising us all and jumping up to the Championship. Bolton are currently in third place, two points behind Derby County, but holding a game in hand over the Rams with three to play. It's happening, says us.  

Meanwhile, the Teej's Forward Madison are off to a strong start here stateside, unbeaten through three USL League One matches, and still unbeaten in terms of their kit design.

We'll close with bonus content for the many who've embraced a lower-level team from Wales as their side piece. If you were to write a script, the three-season arc that's seen Wrexham fail to earn promotion from the National League, then rise to League Two and find itself on the verge of a consecutive promotion to League One would be met with raised eyebrows. If you added Deadpool and Rob McElhenney, you'd be charged with crimes against Hollywood. And yet, here we are. Wrexham sit second on the English League Two table, needing only five points in their final three matches to secure their place in League One. The documentary just keeps getting better.

Opening Day Closure

I find Major League Baseball's Opening Day celebrations better than just about any other. For one, the start of the baseball season marks the transition from winter to spring, so the sense of renewal is amplified. There's a reason "hope springs eternal" was written about baseball, or at least it should have been. 

Beyond the seasonal angle, ballclubs have gotten really good at using their home openers to celebrate their city, their team, and their history. This week, my own team did it up right.

The Red Sox were already going to have an epic home opener this year, given this is the 20th anniversary of what Sports Illustrated called "The Most Amazing Season in History". But when the members of that team gathered at Fenway on Tuesday for the first home game of the 2024 season, they were also there to celebrate the life of one of their own, gone too soon.

We wrote about Tim Wakefield's untimely passing when it happened last year. Wake might not have been my favorite Sox player of all time, but he was on the short list. That affection was based as much on his character and humility as it was on his on-field exploits, but he did wind up third all-time on the Sox' pitching wins list, and he pitched more innings in a Boston uniform than any other pitcher.

And so it came to pass that the normal anticipation that accompanies opening day was mixed with sadness and appreciation when Brianna Wakefield, the 18 year-old daughter of Tim and Stacy (in an epic bit of shitty business, Wake's wife passed from cancer shortly after her husband), took the mound to throw the first pitch of the 2024 season to Jason Varitek.

@nesn Yesterday Tim and Stacy Wakefield’s daughter, Brianna, threw out the first pitch at Fenway Park surrounded by her father’s 2004 #RedSox ♬ original sound - NESN

Dry eyes? I assume there were a few at Fenway. But not in my house.

Lotta ball left. Stay on target. Godspeed, Wake.

Problem Child

There are times as a parent where you clearly see echoes of your own idiosyncrasies in your kids. Case in point, my youngest kid's absolutely intractable stubbornness is a frustrating mirror image of my own, though we're both getting better. A little.

On other occasions, parents often get to experience aspects of their kids' interests, aptitudes, and attitudes that seem wholly unfamiliar to our own. My eldest, who goes by k (lowercase intentional), is a brilliantly charismatic performer, fierce and fearless. And neither my wife nor I possess a scintilla of whatever gene sparked those attributes.

Sometimes, the two poles mix, and we get to see our kids as the delightful mix of us and them they were destined to become. At the end of the month, my eldest culminates their collegiate dance career by presenting a significant piece of their creation. Senior dance majors at VCU are required to cast, choreograph, and stage a performance of their own making. The overall theme of this year's senior performances is Two Truths. Half of the class presented their work last semester. The other half, including my kid, presents theirs the last weekend of the month.

Here's where we get to the multitudes contained within. Check out this description of my kid's work, as they wrote it, and as it'll appear in the program for the performance:

“this is a secret language. this is a cult activity.

“problem children” investigates the idea of queer movement, and its capabilities of transformation – from human into creature, from language into gibberish, from legible into queered. informed by improvisation, writing, choicemaking, vulnerability, honesty, silliness, and the embrace of a queer sensibility, “problem children” aims to plunge the audience into a creature world, from which they will emerge bewildered and full of joy.”

I see a whole lot of myself in the joy, silliness, and honesty. And I am baffled by a lot of the other elements, even as I know they're exactly how my kid sees themselves and represent issues and ideas they wrestle with as they find their place in the world.

When the seniors presented a draft of their work to the dance faculty a month or so ago, k's advisors were generally approving, but told them to feel free to let more k come out in the work. In other words, let k be k. I'm anticipating an outrageously unusual, silly, giddy, awkward, challenging, and fun piece. And I fully expect to emerge bewildered and full of joy. If you're in the Greater Richmond area the last week of the month, come join in on the cult activity.

Redemption Song

Just when I think I've got nothing for Twitter/X and it's got nothing for me, I see this.

I've been playing mediocre guitar for 26 years. I could quit my job and play all day every day for whatever time I've got left and never come close to this. This dude was 16 when this was recorded. This shit is bananas, and I know you know how to spell that.

Play on, brother...

Your Sunday Reflection

Gabor Maté is a Canadian physician of some renown. He's an expert in the psychological impacts of childhood trauma. He's got some words of wisdom for us on this serene Sunday morning. 

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