Finding Joy in Helping Others: WCSAGD: Donna Edition

[There's joy in helping your fellow man, and z is here for it.]

Donna wants a hybrid and I don't blame her.  She also asked for my advice so in that regard I do blame her, at least for this post.

There are two types of hybrids: standard hybrid ("HEV") and plug-in hybrid ("PHEV").  I touted the merits of PHEVs here before and I still think they are a best-of-both-worlds option for people who spend a fair amount of time puttering around town, but they require more effort to extract the maximum return on investment.  You need to charge them (hence the "plug-in" aspect of the name) and that means you either need to have a charger installed at home, or you work (or frequently visit) someplace that has charging stations available in the parking lot.  So keep that extra effort (and potential cost) in mind when considering between an HEV and a PHEV.

My first reaction to "What hybrid should I get?" is "Get a Mazda Miata because Miata Is Always The Answer" but that's a stupid car-guy joke and my serious reaction it to follow that up with "Have you looked at a Prius?"  For the first time in forever the Prius is a good looking car. 

It's available with AWD and the trunk holds 23 cubic feet of junk with the seats up, 50 cubic feet with the seats down.  That's better than a Mercedes GLA and just a stitch less than an Audi Q5 or a Mazda CX-5.  It gets 57 MPG, it hits 60 MPH in 7 seconds, and it's a Toyota so it will run problem-free for 200,000 miles.  Here's an AWD build with a roof rack for $31,444.  Here's one near me for $32,104.  There aren't many cars this practical at this price.

Toyota also makes a PHEV Prius but for some reason the cargo space isn't as impressive.  If you look at a regular Prius take a gander at the PHEV Prius and ask the salesperson about the cargo discrepancy.

If you want a car that doesn't appear so blatantly hybrid there are plenty of great options like the Toyota Camry (all Camrys are hybrid now) and Accord Hybrid, or the Toyota RAV4 HEV, Toyota RAV4 PHEV, and Honda CR-V Hybrid.  As with the Prius, these cars will run forever.

There are plenty of bad options too.  If you want to be a contrarian go get an Alfa Romeo Tonale PHEV.  It isn't available in 2026 but no one wants to drive an Alfa (except me) so you can find 69 new 2025 models on dealer lots.  All 69 will probably break within minutes after you get them home so I don't suggest you do any of this, but it's a thing you could do.

A more responsible PHEV choice would be a CPO Volvo S60 Recharge.  It has AWD, 455 hp, about 35 miles of electric range and about 70 MPG in hybrid mode.  Here's one with 32k miles for $32k.  If you want something bigger, check out a CPO Volvo S90 Recharge.  Here's one with 12k miles for $46k.  You can hear Squeaky nodding furiously as he reads this.

If you really want to set hearts ablaze, get a Volvo V60 Polestar.  By far the coolest thing in Volvo's lineup, it was discontinued for 2025.  You can find CPO options but they are rare and pricey.  But worth it!

Donna asked about the VW ID.Buzz.  I love that fact that it exists but I can't picture buying one and a lot of people agree with me, so many that VW only sold 4934 through three quarters in 2025 and put the car "on hiatus" for 2026.  The base price of the base model is $60k and even with deep dealer discounts they're over $50k.  That's a lot for an EV with less than 250 miles of range.  You can buy a Honda Odyssey for $10k less and drive it cross country without having to take hour-long breaks to fill it up every 200 miles.  But if you just want to drive locally, have lots of stuff to haul, and love the Buzz.ID's looks, head over to VW of Alexandria and fight like hell to get this green CPO gem down to $45k.  Be prepared to point to the brand new ones selling for $51k that I linked to above (or do some research for others closer to home) and remind them that they also have an orange CPO one on the lot, then tell them you're doing them a favor taking these unloved and unwanted monstrosities off their hands.  Then go over to Lindsay VW of Dulles and run the same game on their two CPO Buzz.IDs and use whatever price you get in Alexandria against them. Go back and forth until you get a number you like.  Have fun with it!

Family Truckster!

Some lunatic genius in Alberta, Canada took a 1989 Ford LTD Crown Victoria Wagon and turned it into a Family Truckster.

Predictably, it's up for auction at BringaTrailer and it closes today.  I have no idea what the right number is for this monstrosity beauty but I will not be surprised if FoGTB DB wins it.

via GIPHY

A few other choice auctions that are within reach and end today include a 1990 300ZX Twin Turbo for Mark, a 1974 Fiat Jolly for our man at the beach, a very cheap and very shady 2014 Jaguar F-Type right here in NJ for rob, a 2004 VW R32 for rob's kid, a Laguna Blue (!!) 2001 BMW M Roadster in Acton, MA that Squeaky needs to buy right now (even the dreaded spot welds in the trunk look good), an Assuan Brown 1982 Volkswagen Westfalia with striped (not Boogie Woogie, sigh) fabric seats for rootsy, a Yellow Mist 1965 Mercury Comet Caliente Convertible for Whit, a remarkably crisp 1973 TR6 for Mr. KQ, and a 1972 350SL for Marls.

WCSAGD Regional Edition - OBX Dave Gets His

OBX Dave never got his own WCSAGD, largely because I don't know enough about him to pick something right on the nose.  I have ideas given his life at the beach, but I don't want to screw up something so important.

I can, however, find him a regional, attainable car.  Thank god for Al Gore and the internet.

Much like Joe Biden and TR, I love Corvettes and I've written about them multiple times.  OBX Dave is an American man living in the southeast so he probably likes Corvettes too.  Lucky for him, there's a 1987 Corvette convertible for sale in Moyock.  Unfortunately for him, the owner had it painted with Line X and added a bunch of Batman logos to it.

For the uninitiated, Line X is stuff you use to paint the bed of your pickup truck to keep it from getting damaged when stuff bounces around in there.  I have never, ever, seen it used to paint anything else, let alone a sports car.  But I guess it's a cheap alternative to matte paint and it's likely plentiful in the OBX--I dredged this up from Craigslist because all of the local car dealers only have pickups in stock.  Anyway, the C4 is a fantastic car with clean lines, 240 horsepower, 345 (!) pound-feet of torque, and plentiful parts.  If you can chisel the Line X, remove the Batman stuff, and replace the wheel spikes with proper lug nuts you'll have a gem of a beach car (fiberglass won't rust in salty air).

Before you chisel off the Line X, chisel the seller down by telling him it will cost you $10k to straighten this thing out and no one wants it in this condition so he won't do any better than your $5k offer.  I suspect the seller is a salty dog, and an old one at that, given his statement "No Texting or emails will be answered. A good old fashioned telephone call with a real human on the other end will be the first to buy this when they see and drive it."

Maybe this is a little too Mad Max for OBX Dave.  No problem!  Here's a 1964 Triumph Spitfire in Moyock!  Moyock hooks you up!  

Perhaps I should have used quotation marks around 1964 Triumph Spitfire though, here's a quote from the listing:

The tub is in great condition. The floors were replaced. No rust. Nice interior. All gauges work. Paint is old with scratches and dents. Engine and trans are from a 1975 Spitfire. Differential is from a a GT6 with 3.27 gears so cruising on the highway is comfortable. 70 mph at 3400 RPM. Weber 32/36 carb and manifold with a powermaster tubular exhaust manifold. GT6 front springs cut down to lower suspension. Heavy duty sway bar. Wire wheels with good tires. NOS soft top that fits well.

Mr. KQ, Marls, and anyone else who's been around an old British car knows the first few statements smell fishy.  The tub is in great condition?  No rust?  Impossible--I suspect that's why the floors were replaced and there's more rust lurking somewhere.  All gauges work?  Also impossible--the gauges probably didn't work when new, let along 60 years later.  And that last line?  A new old stock top that fits well?  Again, the new new stock top didn't fit 60 years ago.

It only gets better with important components like the entire powertrain coming from at least two other cars and a front suspension "cut down" from a donor car.  Luckily it has that heavy duty sway bar though.  

But it's green over tan and I'm a sucker for that.  And it's British, and the hood hinges forward, and it has antique plates and wire wheels, and the way the line of the door dips down right before the hips jag up ... what's not to love?  You can definitely take it to the beach in this car, just make sure you have Uber on your phone and a AAA membership.

Fine, fine, you're saying "c'mon zman, you can do better than this!"  I can.  This 1997 Porsche Boxster is for sale in Nags Head for $8,900.  The seller had the IMS bearing replaced so OBX Dave can drive it forever, worry-free.  That work cost about $2k by itself, just ask to see the receipt to be sure it was done.  Have your local service station do a pre-purchase inspection (that's maybe $50-$75) so you can get it on a lift and see what's going on underneath, and/or ask to talk to the guy who's been doing the work on it recently to verify it isn't a time bomb.  I would totally take a punt on this 986 if I lived locally.

So there you go, OBX Dave.  Let me know which convertible you wind up with.

WCSAGD Regional Edition - Squeaky Lives Large

I have to crank this WCSAGD post out before the car at issue disappears from the internet.  As I said before, Squeaky is a sneaky car guy and baller.  And the perfect car is now on sale a few miles from his home.  I don't mean the perfect car for Squeaky, I mean the perfect car, period.  This car.

This is a 2024 Goodwood Green over Cognac Audi RS6 Avant Performance available at Herb Chambers Audi in Brookline, MA, the dealer from which I bought my first Audi.  In addition to having the practicality of all-wheel drive, 30 cubic feet of cargo space with the rear seatback up and 59 cubic feet with it down, it makes 621 horsepower.  And it's beautiful.

I want one of these very very badly, and in fact I recently went to my local dealer to inquire about getting one in Goodwood Green, an Audi Exclusive special order color, over cognac.  Despite the fact that you can build an RS6 in myriad Exclusive interior and exterior colors online using that link, you can't get Audit to do it for you in real life.  This is the last year of the current generation of RS6 so all the builds are spoken for.  I thought my Goodwood Green dreams would never come to fruition.  But then I started poking around on the Audi USA inventory site and found this unicorn in Brookline!  The car gods had smiled upon me!  I called them up and the car is available!!  It is the only new Goodwood Green RS6 for sale in America, possibly the world.  The person who special ordered it in this color combo flaked out so it's up for grabs.  A red (or really Goodwood Green) mist descended upon my mind and clouded my vision.

Then I started doing the math.  Every Audi dealer charges at least $10k over sticker for these beasts and they are insanely expensive to begin with.  With tax, title, tire and wheel insurance, etc., the total nut would be about twice the cost of my undergraduate and law school tuitions (thank you, Virginia public school system).  I just couldn't do it.  I walked away.

But Squeaky doesn't have to walk away!  He only has one kid to pay for!  He needs this goddam thing in his life!

If not the RS6, then this 1971 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme convertible in New Hampshire.  Viking Blue paint, convertible top, seating for six, and 455 cubic inches.  What's not to like?

C'mon Squeaky, let's make this happen.

Automotive Interlude: WHzD

A confluence of events propels me to launch a new potentially-not-recurring series of posts with the theme "What Has zman Driven?".  First, Squeaky, a sneaky carguy/baller (sneaky Squeaky) suggested the them during an automotive text exchange this weekend.  Second, Marls, a not-so-sneaky baller/fan of strange cars sent me this BaT link this morning.  Twas kismet, I have to post about this.

If you're too lazy to click on Marls's link, I'll tell you that it takes you to a 1973 AMC Hornet X Gucci Sportabout.  It's glorious and preposterous, so much so that it should be Teedge's WCSAGD.

You're probably saying "So what, it's a green wagon.  What's the big deal?"  Clock the seats and headliner.

That's real authorized Gucci-branded stuff.  According to the listing, "This 1973 AMC Hornet X is one of approximately 4,800 Sportabout wagons equipped with the Gucci interior package featuring beige, green, and red vinyl upholstery along with a Gucci-logo headliner and special exterior badging."  It also has a little foot-shaped footrest for your left foot.  Here's a clearer photo of it.

This is when you likely call bullschtein on the What Has zMan Driven? aspect of the post and that's partially correct.  I have never driven a 1973 AMC Hornet X Gucci Sportabout, but I've spent many miles riding in a yellow (yellow!) 1976 AMC Hornet Sportabout which looked something like this, absent the wood paneling decal and the happy family.

This was the car my stepfather drove when he married my mother and it's probably at least one reason why I prefer wagons over SUVs.  Our family of five could pile into this shitbox with a week worth's of clothes and sorted sundries to keep us from killing each other between Teaneck and Rochester.  I have no idea why families of four need a Suburban for a weekend at the beach.  

Anyway, at least 15% of our Hornet's mass was rust.  It had an unmatched capacity to oxidize and my stepfather would always admonish us not to pick at the rust because he sincerely feared the whole thing might fall apart if you flaked off some schmutz from the wrong part of the car.  Despite spending its life in Arizona, Florida, and California, this Gucci version has some rust on it too, so it's an honest authentic example of the breed.

Unlike this Gucci, our Hornet had a manual transmission, three-on-the-tree-with-overdrive (my stepfather was very proud of the overdrive and would always say "it's a three-speed with overdrive" instead of "it's a four-speed.").  Another point of differentiation is that ours had a single bench seat in front, unlike the Gucci's fancy split bench, which meant that the three of us in the back greatly enjoyed when my mother would take a leg of our roadtrips because she had to slide the whole thing forward to reach the pedals.  The big driveshaft tunnel down the middle of the car would get really hot so out of fairness we rotated who had the middle seat straddling it.

The "Weather Eye" HVAC system brings back memories of riding in the middle of the front seat between my stepfather and my mother.

Lots of good times in the Hornet and with my stepfather, who was also my brother (he was a Pi Lam at Ohio Wesleyan).  He died this summer after complications from a fall so he never got to drive a Gucci Hornet Sportabout, but I don't think he minded too much.  We were all happy to part ways with the rusty yellow Hornet in 1985, but not at all happy to part ways with him this summer.

WCSAGD Returns! With Regional Flair! And Shlara!

I don't get a lot of positive feedback in life, so the generally warm reception you gave to my What Car Should A Gheorghie Drive series was greatly appreciated.  It's been all downhill since then so I'm firing it back up.  This time I'm identifying cars physically near the Gheorghie at issue to make acquisitions that much more tempting.

Speaking of tempting, Shlara gets the first edition of this reboot because (a) she responded enthusiastically when I asked for her zip code, and (b) there are some legitimately cool cars near her.

Shlara's original WCSAGD car was a Fiat Dino, so it only makes sense that her local car should also be a Fiat: this 2017 Fiat 124 Abarth in Alexandria.  The original Fiat 124 from the 1970's was very cool and very unreliable--it spawned the joke that Fiat stands for "Fix It Again Tony."  The modern 124 is a Mazda Miata with a different body and engine.  So it's reliable, but has the heart and look of an Italian sports car.  These are legitimately cool cars and the Abarth versions are the fastest.  This one is an automatic, but I don't know if Shlara can or wants to drive a stick, and it's more practical in DMV area traffic.

KBB says this is worth around $16,000.  Let's hope Shlara wants a toy car!

But maybe she doesn't.  She's a practical sort and I can envision her saying "What the hell am I supposed to do with that tiny car!  I have stuff to haul!"  I get it.  Luckily for Shlara, there's a 1970 Ford Ranchero for sale in Rockville.

I don't need to tell you why Shlara needs one of these, just look at it.  I have no idea what this will sell for but it's under $13k with only a day of bidding left, and $20k seems like all the money based on historical BaT sales.

Perhaps this whip is a little too salt-of-the earth for Shlara, and like the Fiat it only seats two people so Shlara might decry "I have friends!  I need more seats!"  Fortunately for her, a guy in Springfield is selling a 1964 Cadillac Coupe DeVille with a 6.0 liter Vortec V8 swapped under the hood.  Oh, it has flames painted on it too.

Hopefully the fuzzy dice are included in the sale.  I think this is the perfect ride for Shlara, it's as if someone turned her into a car.  But if she thinks this is too loud (literally and figuratively), I have one more great option for her.

There's a 2019 VW Golf Type R in Herndon.  The Type R is one of those perfect cars that appeals only to people like me and is thus doomed to go extinct in the US.  It handles like a dream (it's a Golf, after all), can be maintained by any decent mechanic anywhere in the country (again, it's a Golf), comfortably seats four people and a holds lot of cargo (more Golf), and gets over 30 MPG (Golf!!) while simultaneously churning out 288 horsepower to all four wheels so it goes like stink and handles snow well too.  The Golf R is essentially an Audi S3 in a more convenient, stealthier package.  Everyone should want one but no one does because most people are knuckleheads.  But not Shlara!  She's ready to Uber out to Herndon to pick this up.

That's all for now.  Send me your zip code if you want your own list of regional, attainable cars curated just for you.

What Car Should a Gheorghie Drive: zEdition

 I like cars.  Always have.  Some of my earliest memories revolve around my father's 1969 Butternut Yellow Chevrolet Impala convertible which as much a member of the family as any human being ever was.  I do not take poetic license I say "earliest memories"--I remember driving along the West Side Highway with the top down (it was always down) and an American flag flying from the antenna to celebrate the Bicentennial.  That car was more than a car, it was the first big purchase my father made after he graduated college and got a job, and for a young man who came here in the 1950s (as a refugee, really) it allowed him to tell the world that he made it.  As a result I've always had a fondness for big American V8s and convertibles.  If you think you don't like convertibles you're wrong.  You've just been driving them in the sun too much.  Convertibles peak at night.

On my 48th birthday I realized that this ride called life is about halfway over and that bothered me.  I'm also bothered by the way things are changing.  Our political system is a mess and our democracy might implode in a few years.  Liner notes don't exist.  Our economy appears to be on the brink of collapse.  Former pro athletes who are younger than me have sons who are now pro athletes.  Terrible viruses pop up out of nowhere.  My kids have no concept of live TV.  

I have automotive anxieties too.  I will never be able to afford an air-cooled 911.  New cars don't have buttons anymore, it's all touch screens.  In ten years all new cars will be massive lozenge-shaped electronic transportation pods that drive themselves without your involvement so that you and six other people can stream movies to your phones or tablets while the pod delivers you to your destination.  Don't even get me started on the dearth of cool car colors.

Or the dearth of cars!  Everything is an SUV now and I have no idea why.  I'm sure all of you have one but you shouldn't.  The trunks are not bigger than a wagon's and the center of gravity is too high.  They are a study in bad proportion.  Who looks at this and says "Yes!  Take my $100,000 now!"  Someday we will look back at these massively stretched front grills and laugh at them like tailfins from the 1950s.

And there are no sports cars!  In 1995, Nissan sold the 300ZX, 240SX, 200SX, and the Sentra SE-R.  Honda had the Civic Si, Civic Del Sol, and Prelude.  Toyota had the Celica, Supra, and a go-fast version of the Corolla.  Even frickin' Mazda had the MX-3, MX-6, Miata, and RX-7.  Today?  Nissan has the Z, Honda has the Civic Si, Toyota has the Supra, and Mazda has the Miata.  And no one buys any of them.

All of this makes me feel sad and old.  So I yearn for an analog car to take me back to simpler days when my future was big and bright and exciting.

But I also hate to let people down.  Part of this translates into saving, rather than spending, to assure that I will never come up short if my family needs something.  I currently drive a VW Golf Alltrack that costs me $323 a month (financed at 0%) and has a 6 year/60k mile warranty, a trunk bigger than your SUV, and storms through snow with aplomb.  It pulls 0.84 g on the skidpad, which is pretty crazy considering that a Ferrari Testarossa pulls 0.87 g.  You can't find a better deal--you probably pay more each month on your cable/internet bill, or your cell phone family plan.  So I can't justify spending a lot of money on a toy car.

My financial advisor likes cars too, we met in the parking garage of our building when he pulled in with his 1968 Pontiac Firebird convertible.  In our last meeting I joked about buying a toy car but he replied seriously with something like "You know cars.  Go get something you will enjoy and that will hold value.  It's a durable good!  Think of it as a way to diversify your portfolio."  He gave me a price range to work with and I started thinking and perusing BringaTrailer.com. 

The first car I ever remember seeing and saying "Whoa!  This changes everything!" was the 1984 Corvette.  This was the fourth generation of the model so it's referred to as the C4.  It looked like Chevy took a paring knife to a C3 to whittle away all the excess geegaws and indulgences of the 1970s and wound up with a land-going missile.  There are no fender flares, no flying buttresses, no ducktails.  There is zero chrome.  When viewed in profile its pointed nose and notched back make it look like an arrow shot from Artemis's bow, especially the convertible. 

Car & Driver previewed the gonzo ZR-1 version of the C4 in their October 1988 issue.

This issue also featured the only letter I've ever written that anyone ever published.

I can explain in the comments why that's funny if anyone cares.  The ZR-1 captivated me.  It had an engine made by Mercury Marine churning out 375 horsepower and Lotus helped design the whole thing using their Formula 1 experience.  It was faster than just about anything from German or Italy but it didn't stand out.  Aside from the square tail lights it looked just like a regular C4, and after a year or two all C4s had the square tail lights.  Stealth speed!

In high school I wrote my AP English term paper on the history of the Corvette.  It held my interest any my teacher's--she gave me an A and wrote me a letter of recommendation that helped me get into W&M.

All this is to say I've been a C4 ZR-1 fan for a long time.  It seems like I should drive a 1994 Corvette ZR-1 in Polo Green over beige.  And I almost did. 

But I waffled.  This is the right ZR-1.  It's crispy as hell but with 48k miles you can actually drive it without incurring serious depreciation.  These used to sell for $20k to $25k but the vintage car market is up and so are ZR-1 prices.  This one hammered at $32k and for me that's just too much for a 28-year-old car that has a lot of rare (only about 6900 were made) fussy parts that you probably can't get at your local Chevy dealer.  This one won an award or two so the owner is really more of a caretaker than a driver.  I absolutely would love to drive this, but it isn't my WCSAGD.

My real weakness is small, light roadsters like the Lotus Elan which inspired the Mazda Miata.  Owning an Elan is like owning a sailboat, you're constantly throwing money at it, and I already had a Miata.  I want something relatively reliable with readily available parts and that service stations know how to repair.  I also want something interesting--I love cars with five cylinders, French cars, three-wheelers, anything that involves a different engineering take on the automotive experience.  In a perfect world I would have a Porsche 959 in my garage but that isn't in the cards.

I should drive a 2004 Porsche Boxster S in Lago green over Savannah Beige with a black top and basket wheels.

And now I do.

2004 was the last year of the first generation Boxster, the 986.  The S version has a 3.2 liter flat-6 good for 258 horsepower.  That isn't a ton of oomph these days, but it only has to push around 2,911 pounds of car.  Flat, or horizontally-opposed, engines are cool.  They make it easier to fit more cylinders in a tight space like a V, but because they're flat they allow for a lower center of gravity.

I've owned a flat-4 and a straight-6 but never a flat-6, until now.  

Even cooler: the Boxster is mid-engined.  This means that the engine sits between the driver's back and the rear axle, exactly where God and Isaac Newton intended.  Putting the engine there puts most of the car's weight there, which means it handles really well.

A mid-engined, flat-6, rear-wheel-drive, two-seater convertible?  Sounds like a different automotive take to me.

I still have to figure out OBX Dave's car, but the rest of you have already been given your assignments.  Go out there and get your WCSAGD.

What Car Should a Gheorghie Drive: Juan Carlos Edition

I first met Juan Carlos by the basement back door of Unit M.  He stood there, a fratguy in his kingdom, cradling a plurality of cans of Milwaukee's Best in one arm, talking to a smiling, nodding girl.  He turned to me, an awestruck freshman, and said coolly and calmly "Hey, do you want to shotgun beers til you puke?" I, of course, said "Yes.  Yes I do."  The rest is history.

That night he told me his name and I thought he said Carlos, so I called him Carlos for a while.  I am not alone.  He is, after all, Juan Carlos, King of Spain (which makes Unit M the House of Bourbon).

Before zwoman met him I made mention of Juan Carlos.  She said "Juan Carlos is JP, right?"  JP is, of course, FOGTB JP.  I said "No.  JP is JP.  Juan Carlos is the King of Spain."  zwoman replied "Oh.  So Juan Carlos is Spanish?"  I said "No."  Confused, she said "So no one is Spanish?" and I said "JP is Spanish" so she replied "That's what I thought.  Then why isn't JP the King of Spain?" and I answered "Because Juan Carlos is the King of Spain."  We went around this circle a few more times and she gave up.

It seems like Juan Carlos should have a Spanish car but the only brands I can think of are Hispano-Suiza, which went out of business 80 years ago, and S.E.A.T.  I realize that S.E.A.T. sounds like the name of a bad-guy organization from an Austin Powers movie but I assure you that Sociedad Española de Automóviles de Turismo is real.  You've never heard of them because they never sold any cars in the US and they never made any cars that are cool.  Honestly.  Here's the list.  Hover over those links and you'll see one bland shitbox after another.  I have no idea how the nation that gave the world jamón serrano, manchego, Paz Vega, Balenciaga, mahon, Picasso, paella, Penélope Cruz, flamenco, Rafael Nadal and chorizo failed to come up with at least one aesthetically awesome car.

Juan Carlos is cool.  He's cooler than you but he's cool about it.  It's a very laid-back and discreet brand of coolness.  It's obvious that he's cool and does cool things, but when you learn more you realize that whatever you're looking at is even cooler than you thought upon first impression.

For example, if you go to Juan Carlos's house he will serve you appetizers.  Perhaps fish fillets on a skewer with sliced plum tomatoes and pickled peppers.  You might say "Dam son this fish is dope!  What is it?"  He will understatedly reply "They're fresh sardines" and when you say "These don't look like sardines" he will explain that sardines from a can are not very good at all, and that canning them destroys the flavor, texture, color, basically everything about the fish.  He knows a place where they sell fresh sardine fillets, which he then prepares them ceviche style with lemon juice so they hold up enough to be skewered.  Then when you exclaim how good the peppers are, he will explain how he grew the peppers from seeds he picked up in Seville and then pickled them himself over the winter using a pickling brine of his own concoction.  This happens all the time.  JC's food is superb.

Juan Carlos is amazingly handy.  I won't regale you with all of his tremendous feats of home improvement, but I was stunned when he installed his own underground gas line from his house to his grille.  I was there the first time he used it and he deadpanned "Either we'll have dinner in 30 minutes or I'll blow the house up."  We had dinner 30 minutes later and it was outstanding.

He thus should drive something clearly cool, but also reserved, and that becomes even cooler upon investigation.  It should also be relatively useful for trips to the mulch pit and the hardware store, and relatively easy to work on.  It should be European, clearly.  The marque should have some historical importance with bonus points for significant engineering aspects.

This was harder than I thought it would be, but I should've known better.  Juan Carlos is a complicated man but no one understands him but his woman.

I considered the Audi ur-Quattro.  The hatchback makes it very practical.  The 20-valve five cylinder engine was an engineering masterpiece.  It pioneered Audi's all-wheel-drive Quattro system and it won the World Rally Championship three years in a row.  But these are difficult to work on, which cuts against JC's DYI nature, and they're rare and expensive, which cuts against my goal of keeping WCSAGD attainable.  They also don't quite look the part.  Just a little too big in the hips for the King of Spain to floss.

Ever the VW fanboy, I also considered the Audi RS2 Avant, but it suffers the same problems as the ur-Quattro--expensive as hell and a headache to work on.  But there's plenty to love.  Much like Marls's WCSAGD, Porsche massaged various Audi bits to make the RS2 Avant an unholy speed demon, and it has four doors, a real back seat and a big trunk so you can haul ass while hauling lumber.  Five cylinders sound cool too.

But as with the ur-Quattro, the RS2 Avant doesn't look quite right for Juan Carlos.  He's too sexy for this car.

The Jaguar XJS Lynx came to mind.  It makes sense for Juan Carlos to drive a shooting brake, especially one with twelve cylinders, burled walnut trim and Connolly leather hides.  And they look great.  

But these too are exceedingly rare and expensive.  I'm also not sure he should drive a Jaguar, it doesn't really mesh with his regal Mediterranean vibe.  It's just a tad effete.  

Juan Carlos should drive a 1986 Alfa Romeo GTV6 in black over biscuit, like this:

The best classic under $20,000?  Maybe.  Prices are creeping up so JC might need to shell out $25k to $30k for a really crispy example.  How does this tick all the boxes?  Alfa Romeo is over 100 years old and has more racing wins than any other marque in the world.  Their logo involves a crowned snake swallowing a man whole.  The brand is swathed in manliness and badassery.

The 6 in GTV6 refers to the engine, Alfa's famous Busso V6.  The manifold isn't as pretty as the 164's but really what is?  It still sounds amazing, arguably the best sounding engine ever.  Don't take my word for it, see what Harry Metcalfe has to say:

Harry's homeboy's GTV6 has Quadrifoglio badges and basket wheels which make the whole thing even cooler.  "Needs a fair amount of warming up" (9:55).  "Doesn't rev very high but gets quite musical" (10:33).  "There's bits covering up where the size of it should've been, I can't understand why Luigi didn't make the DIN slot the right size" (12:24).  "Quite a short stroke, wide bore, but it does sound good ... it's quality" (14:51).  "It still looks super neat today and I love that it's the size that it is" (19:04).  "This car is all about charisma and that it has by the bucketload, there is something joyous seeing this car" (19:47).  All of that could be said about Juan Carlos. 

Watch Harry's expression after he downshifts and gets back on the gas around 19:33.  The sound he makes is the same one I made when Heather Graham took her clothes off for the first time in Boogie Nights.  Like JC the GTV6 is a sex machine.  Most importantly, I think Juan Carlos's father had an Alfa at one point so getting another might foster reflection on old memories while creating new ones.

That's what Juan Carlos should drive.

What Car Should a Gheorghie Drive: rootsminer Edition

rootsminer is next up for WCSAGD.  rootsy has a history with vintage German cars, including the greatly celebrated Spirit of '76, a red 1976 VW Rabbit with four on the floor and some rust on the door, and his dad's 197-something chocolate brown Porsche 911 which he wrapped around a tree when he ran out of talent in the middle of a turn.  The moral here is don't lift off the gas in a rear-engined car while turning, you lose traction and the back of the car suddenly swaps places with the front.  Here's how to properly corner in a 911:

Cars aren't rootsy's only vintage interest, he's an accomplished musician in an old-timey band.  He is also an accomplished outdoorsman--he famously pioneered sleeping in a hammock underneath the Martha Wood.  

Taken together, he should drive something old and German, preferably air-cooled, that you shift for yourself, can go off-road, and can carry his band and all their gear.

rootsy should drive a 1983 VW Westfalia Vanagon Camper in Escorial Green.

The interior should be shod in Van Dyke EN Boogie Woogie fabric, of course.

1983 was the last year of the air cooled engine and the first year of the 5 speed transmission so it's something of a sweet spot.  Kinda like my sweet spot for rootsy.  As the name Camper implies, these vans are meant for camping.  The top pops up to give you a tent over the cabin below.

And it really is a cabin.  The P27 deluxe version (which is of course what rootsy should drive) has a fridge, a sink, a stove and two tables.  It even has a water tank so you can run the sink without having to hook up to a water line at a campground.

You can pick up one of these for under $20k.  This crispy-but-high-mileage specimen sold for $15,500 on BaT recently.  If you don't like green, Assuan Brown is the other right way to go.

I'm sure you're saying "rootsminer deserves a B32."  You're right.  But they only made fifteen and they cost well into six figures so it runs against the spirit of WCSAGD.

You might also say "rootsminer deserves an older cooler 'On the Road' type of VW van."  Sure, but they are suddenly through the roof.  

So that's what rootsy should drive.

What Car Should A Gheorghie Drive: Danimal Edition

Danimal is the only Gheorghie I haven’t met so determining the proper car for him wasn’t as easy as it was for some of you. But I know enough about him reputationally and through our virtual interactions to draw a reasonably sharp bead on what he should drive.

Danimal is a southern man. This means he likes froadin. He also lives in Florida, which means he needs to tow stuff like boats and ATVs and sometimes his buddy’s mobile estate, and he needs something with a convertible top to enjoy the weather. He also has a beautiful wife and three tow-headed kids so he needs seating for five. He golfs with presidents and kings, he travels the world, he hangs out with Snoop and Mike Brey. Simply put, Danimal is a fucking baller so price is not an issue.

Danimal should drive a mint green 1970 Ford Bronco ICON 4X4 roadster restomod with matching mint green wheels and steering wheel, a tan bikini top, tan and orange interior, a spare wheel on the back, a 5.0 liter Ford Coyote fuel injected V8, and an Aisin-Warner AX15 5-speed manual transmission.

Danimal also needs locking differentials with sport chassis and brakes. That's just how he gets down.

This particular ICON BR (that's what they call it) doesn't actually exist. I made it with their insanely variable configuration tool. If you're like me and have a lot of time on your hands you might find it fun. Check out their Land Cruiser configurator too.

ICON 4X4 offers four different Bronco restomods and the roadster is clearly the right one. It's also the cheapest, starting at only $190,000. Normally I wouldn't recommend anything this pricey as a WCSAGD but like I said Danimal balls hard and cost is no object for him.

The ICON BR is cool but practical, functional but stylish, classic but modern, and sure to generate tons of stories. Just like our man in JAX. So that's what Danimal should drive.

Inspiration from Random Places

During this downtime, we will all have to find things to occupy our interest . . .

Some will listen to podcasts. Some will listen to music. Some will make music. Maybe Dave and I will have a quarantine song-off.

Some of us will watch movies. Others will make movies. I can only hope.

Some will do push-ups. Others will build a homemade pull-up bar.

Some will really return to their childhood days. They will play card games and board games and hide-and-seek.

Even others will play with matchbox cars.

This is a photo from my living room:

1969 Butternut Yellow Chevy Impala Convertible

The interior is white, not black, but short of that, this is my WCSAGD.

Get some, gheorghies.

What Car Should A Gheorghie Drive: Mark Edition

WCSAGD is back like cooked crack, this time with Mark’s car.

Mark really exists. I know this because I saw him once over a few beers in Manhattan. But that’s the entirety of my in-person experience with him. Everything else I know about him I learned on the internet (in particular, on this blog).

Mark is different from the rest of the knuckleheads who hang out in this space. In some ways it’s almost like he’s from another planet. He has lots of tattoos and pit bulls. He gets all of my hiphop references and makes some that I don’t get. He gets all of my sneaker references and owns many more pairs than I do—he likely owns several pairs of Foamposits. He probably saw “Doo Doo Brown” performed live multiple times. He has the shaved-head-and-a-beard look and he rocks it. It just works.

He’s also more athletic than the rest of us. He played college basketball and still plays competitively. That said, he’s relatively short. So he’s sporty and compact.

Mark is the only Gheorghie who could plausibly be a character in a Fast and Furious movie.

Mark should drive a 1991 Nissan Skyline GT-R in gunmetal gray.

The Nissan Skyline GT-R is one of, if not the, most sought-after Japan domestic market (“JDM”) cars among US JDM fanboys. Like most muscle cars, the Skyline started out as a relatively benign automobile. Then, in 1969, Nissan dropped a 2.0 liter straight-six engine in it and added the GT-R badge. The result was a dragstrip legend in Japan. This carried on for four years.

Nissan resurrected the GT-R badge in 1989 and affixed it to what Fast and Furious types call the R32. It had all wheel drive, a twin-turbo straight-six, 276 horsepower, flared fenders, and a don't-fuck-with-me stance that induced lust in a certain demographic of car fanciers. It is extreme. The R32 was manufactured through 1994 but never imported into North America, and was only available in right-hand drive.

Thus a generation of car fans could only read about these beasts online. Sort of like Mark, until I met him.

You're allowed to import cars that were never cleared for registration in the US once they are 25 years old, so any GT-R manufactured before February 1995 is currently fair game. This means you can import some of the second generation GT-Rs, which is the R33. They are very cool too but despite being the youngest Gheorghie Mark is more of an old school guy.

My stance on car colors is well documented (black, white and gray are not real car colors) but 88% of all R32s manufactured are black, white or gray, so I chose gray here. Besides, this car has enough of a WTF factor with the steering wheel on the wrong side that it doesn't need any more pizzazz. If anything, the gunmetal paint makes it look slightly dangerous, like something a Bond villain would drive and that seems to be pretty on-brand for Mark. Like Mark, this one was registered in Florida.

Anyone who knows what this is will go bonkers when they see it. I know I did--I saw one once in Japan and it was cool as hell. I did not go bonkers the one time I saw Mark but it was a very cool mini summit.

Predictably, there are a number of places to buy these in the US now. Bringatrailer often has one up for auction. Japanese Classics in Richmond is a fun website to peruse, as is Duncan Imports outside of Roanoke, which I mentioned here previously. You can also buy them from Japan and have them imported here, but that seems dicier to me (good luck recovering you money if you don't get what you paid for).

You used to be able to get these for $20k to $25k but most of the crispy unmolested specimens have been plucked from Japan, leaving mostly heavily modified drift cars and dragsters to choose from. As a result the price for a clean original car is now over $30k and can easily get to $50k for a low-mileage car with full documentation. Much like Mark, these things get more valuable with age.

The R32 is a small, sporty, powerful car that doesn't look like anything else on the road. It is almost impossible to see one in regular driving--they're unique. They were frighteningly new school when they came out, but now they're old and looked upon with nostalgia, but they are still bad-ass. And they'll always be cool.

That's what Mark should drive.

The Twelve Days of Gheorghemas 2019: Day Five

On the fifth day of Gheorghemas
Big Gheorghe gave to me:

Five golden (Cream Yellow, really) cylinders for Squeaky
Four players playing
Three Nutty Squirrels
Two Chilean bangers (literally)
And a British lass slingin' hot meat

Squeaky is one of my favorite people in the world for a number of reasons. We agree on a lot of things but he's his own man. He likes what he likes because he likes it and not because anyone else told him to. That said, he isn't completely out in left field--a lot of the stuff he likes is completely logical. Most importantly, he doesn't denigrate things that you like that are different from what he likes.

Squeaky uses Android smart phones. He collects vinyl records. He has more Soul Coughing music than Mike Doughty and more Hüsker Dü songs than Bob Mould (and he has a ton of Doughty and Mould's solo work too). He gave me something like 10 GB of live Sonic Youth recordings. He drives to Queens to get hyper-local craft brewed beer, specifically purchasing the correct growler from their plethora of selections for the specific beer he wants. Everybody he knows is more relevant than everybody that I know.

Put simply, Squeaky knows what he's doing when he does his dizzle.



Squeaky drives all-wheel-drive European cars, typically station wagons, often Volvos. Wagons are better than sedans because they hold more stuff. Wagons are better than SUVs because they drive like cars, get better fuel economy, and their proportions make them inherently more stylish. We are like-minded in this regard so you know it's the correct thing to do.

For Gheorghemas I gift unto Squeaky his "What car should a Gheorghie drive?" car, a 1994 Volvo 850 T5-R station wagon in Cream Yellow with black interior and a 5-speed manual.

Volvos in general strike a great balance between safety, luxury, and affordability (compared to comparable offerings from other European marques). The T5-R was a special limited edition variant of the 850 that added sportiness and power to the mix. It has a 2.3 liter five cylinder engine making 243 horsepower--Volvo got Porsche to massage the engine, coaxing more than 100 horses per liter out of it. The 850 T5-R was only sold in the US in 1995, so for Squeaky to get a 1994 he would have to buy it overseas and have it imported, which seems like a Squeaky thing to do in order to get the right T5-R. Only 49 Cream Yellow T5-R wagons were brought to the US so Squeaky won't have to worry about seeing another car like his. Here's one in Waalwijk Netherlands available for US import for about $29k. The mileage is a little high but it's remarkably crispy otherwise and my soft spot for pale yellow cars is well documented.

In 1996 they changed the car's name to 805R and eliminated the manual transmission. I couldn't find a video of a T5-R review but here's Motorweek's take on the 850R from 1996.



Merry Gheorghemas!

WCSAGD: Teedge Edition

My love of Teedge and French cars are both well documented. Put them together and what do you get? A WCSAGD post!

Teedge is Irish, which means that he's likely French. I say this because the Normans invaded Ireland in 1169 (clicks). As a result, modern-day Irishmen and women have more than a little French ancestry.

French cars aren't particularly hardy and they tend to fall apart over time--it isn't uncommon to find one collapsed in a heap in the corner of a garage. You cannot miss a French car rolling down the street. They stand out because they are so damn weird, but they are also weirdly cool. They often feature innovative, if perhaps poorly-conceived, technology. Pop the hood on a French car and you probably can't recognize half the stuff going on in there.

All this is to say the French make wonderfully weird cars. Similarly, Teedge's parents make wonderfully weird offspring.

When you met Teedge for the first time you were probably like "What the fuck is this?" And then when you started talking to him you were probably like "Is this guy nuts?" And after a few minutes you were probably like "This guy is certifiably insane--but I like it!" And once you started drinking with him you were probably like "We are dangerously close to going off the rails here, but I'm having fun so let's go with it."

As a result, both Teedge and French cars have a cult following in the US.

Teedge should drive a 1972 Citroen SM in vert argenté.

Nothing else looks like an SM--the kink in the passenger side windows, the skirt on the rear wheel wells, the clamshell rear hatch, the array of lights in the front. It is unique.

The interior is funky too. For example, check the gate on the gearshift. It slides around with the shifter. I've never seen anything like it. And the padded seats are pretty unusual too.

You know what else is unusual? This guy.

Surprisingly, the SM has a Maserati engine (Citroen owned Maserati at one point). Thus like Teedge it has a powerful heart.

Like many Citroens, the SM features an oléopneumatique suspension. This means that the suspension is full of oil and gas. Like Teedge. And it's surprisingly smooth. Kinda like Teedge. The oil and gas reside in those big green balls in the photo above (other similarity shared between Citroens and Irishmen).

As you can see, Teedge and the SM are uniquely alike. Weird but cool and charming, full of pleasant surprises, with the potential for a ludicrous malfunction potentially lurking around the corner.

That's what Teedge should drive.