Big Gheorghe gave to me:
Five golden (Cream Yellow, really) cylinders for Squeaky
Four players playing
Three Nutty Squirrels
Two Chilean bangers (literally)
And a British lass slingin' hot meat
Squeaky is one of my favorite people in the world for a number of reasons. We agree on a lot of things but he's his own man. He likes what he likes because he likes it and not because anyone else told him to. That said, he isn't completely out in left field--a lot of the stuff he likes is completely logical. Most importantly, he doesn't denigrate things that you like that are different from what he likes.
Squeaky uses Android smart phones. He collects vinyl records. He has more Soul Coughing music than Mike Doughty and more Hüsker Dü songs than Bob Mould (and he has a ton of Doughty and Mould's solo work too). He gave me something like 10 GB of live Sonic Youth recordings. He drives to Queens to get hyper-local craft brewed beer, specifically purchasing the correct growler from their plethora of selections for the specific beer he wants. Everybody he knows is more relevant than everybody that I know.
Put simply, Squeaky knows what he's doing when he does his dizzle.
Squeaky drives all-wheel-drive European cars, typically station wagons, often Volvos. Wagons are better than sedans because they hold more stuff. Wagons are better than SUVs because they drive like cars, get better fuel economy, and their proportions make them inherently more stylish. We are like-minded in this regard so you know it's the correct thing to do.
For Gheorghemas I gift unto Squeaky his "What car should a Gheorghie drive?" car, a 1994 Volvo 850 T5-R station wagon in Cream Yellow with black interior and a 5-speed manual.
Volvos in general strike a great balance between safety, luxury, and affordability (compared to comparable offerings from other European marques). The T5-R was a special limited edition variant of the 850 that added sportiness and power to the mix. It has a 2.3 liter five cylinder engine making 243 horsepower--Volvo got Porsche to massage the engine, coaxing more than 100 horses per liter out of it. The 850 T5-R was only sold in the US in 1995, so for Squeaky to get a 1994 he would have to buy it overseas and have it imported, which seems like a Squeaky thing to do in order to get the right T5-R. Only 49 Cream Yellow T5-R wagons were brought to the US so Squeaky won't have to worry about seeing another car like his. Here's one in Waalwijk Netherlands available for US import for about $29k. The mileage is a little high but it's remarkably crispy otherwise and my soft spot for pale yellow cars is well documented.
In 1996 they changed the car's name to 805R and eliminated the manual transmission. I couldn't find a video of a T5-R review but here's Motorweek's take on the 850R from 1996.
Merry Gheorghemas!
Posts
36 comments:
I hear ya and all on the wagons, but I always think of the line some comedian said about the feeling when you drive off the car lot after buying a wagon/minivan: “Welcome to Loserville, population you.”
Sounds like a Jim Gaffigan line
https://ultimateclassicrock.com/dave-grohl-the-cult-feud/
Because this looks so much better than a wagon: https://www.buick.com/suvs/encore
do all the gheorghies have cars now? because it think the next round of this series should be a compare/contrast of the cars gheorghies actually drive and the cars zman thinks they should drive.
Not Mark or Dan
I know what cars they should drive, I just haven't gotten to them yet.
In other news, I tried a Popeye's spicy chicken sandwich today. It is better than anything comparable at BK or McDonald's. It's crispier on the outside than Chik-Fil-A (I like the crispiness) but it isn't as juicy. Go forth and eat accordingly.
It would be good for me to learn what everyone actually drives so I can criticize other cars without worrying about hurting anyone's feelings. Sorry if any of you drive a Buick Encore but you have to admit it looks like a roller skate.
But station wagons look cool?
I drive a Buick Z. Not an Encore, but still a Buick. Enclave
The Enclave has better proportions than the Encore, in my opinion, but it still isn't the right car for you.
I don't know that any particular people hauler looks cool, whether it's a van or a wagon or an SUV. But I think wagons have better proportions than an SUV. Most SUVs are either hatchbacks on stilts or wagons stretched upwards. The Jaguar and Benz wagons look better than the Jaguar and Benz SUVs. You're still hauling kids and groceries so "cool" is relative. You can't put the top down on any of these things so their coolness is limited.
And you can get away with a lot when you're driving a wagon. Let's say, just hypothetically, that you get into some shenanigans after a Jets game. If you're driving a Volvo wagon nothing happens to you. If you're driving a Porsche Cayenne you go to jail.
Nice ride! With that color shade, 80-90's pop music blaring out the speakers would be on point.
Whit, read The Cult article and noticed they are playing Boston on Saturday. Not likely that I will make it but, if I did it, would be the first time for me to see the first and last show of a tour. I don't think I've ever seen a band twice in the same tour, come to think of it.
RIP Danny Aiello.
That Jets game did have some shenanigans. But fate prevented any more that day.
Moral of the story is never ever ever take advice from the white trash Jets season ticket holder sitting next to you.
Neck surgery update! After hurting my neck and pinching a nerve and seeing my resultant issues limit me to being able to do only one push-up (down from 40), I pulled the trigger on surgery.
At the 6-week follow-up, my 36 y/o surgeon encouraged me to try push-ups in his office to see where I stood. I could only do 6. Sadness and feelings of hopelessness ensued as I started my PT regimen. A week later, I could do 8 push-ups. I tested it again today and am all the way up to 11!
I want to go out drinking tonight and flex my atrophied pec at ladies and say “this one goes to 11.” But I won’t. I’ll just drink and make that joke to my wife repeatedly until she goes to bed.
As opposed to your atrophied pecker.
Other than TR I doubt anyone is paying attention to Pres Cup, or golf in general, or Patrick Reed's latest exploits. He's a big turd.
On the positive, JMU.
Z - I agree with you wholeheartedly on the Buick not bein for me, considering I'm not a 55 year old mom/grandmom. I think it's pretty safe to say there is one person in this world that has within the last 365 days traded in a Cayenne for a Buick. Many factors came into play - needed more seats for carpooling, great deal on a "tricked out" Enclave...20"ers, spinners, 6-disc changer in trunk, etc..., and the plan to bequiff, bequeath rather, the vehicle to my bride in the next couple of years once the minivan's wheels fall off. I feel better now.
UVA soccer rolling in the semis of the NCAA tourney, up 2-0 against Wake. Their coach is George Gelnovatch, a high school soccer legend in NJ who went to my high school. He led my high school to two state championships, and then played for UVA. His next door neighbor and good friend was a kid named Tommy Kain. Tommy was a year behind George and went to Duke on scholarship, winning the Herrman (sp?) Trophy in the mid 80’s.
My hometown!
I love a "what would this Gheorghe drive" post, thanks Z.
And, Rob, didn't everyone go out and buy Zman's car recommendation?
speaking of hometowns, tr, uva's keeper and right back both played for the club my daughter used to play for (and of which i'm on the board of directors). the keeper was just named first team all-american. i'm sure i had a lot to do with it.
and yes, shlara. yes.
My two newest cars are 2008s, so feel free to make fun of them or my 06 minivan. Only issue now is getting the 16 year old to drive. He's too cool for a minivan and too scared to shift gears when it counts.
Not to ruin Z’s recommendation for my car but I had two consecutive cool cars that I loved. Then I got a company car. It sucks. But it’s free. As is my insurance, gas and maintenance.
I couldn’t be more than excited for the new season of Curb. My wife hates it because she says it “encourages” my anti social habits. She may have a point. I may not care.
I think I have the flu. Suboptimal way to lose five pounds.
i thought mac mcclung would be not much more than a novelty at the division one level. it appears that i might have been incorrect.
I always knew Mac McFisty was more than a novelty
Zman on Squeaky:
"Most importantly, he doesn't denigrate things that you like that are different from what he likes.
what's that all about? weird . . .
Agree with Rob on Mac. He seemed like a social media creation/fascination. White kid with hips and lots of swagger. He is all of that. But he can play too. Too bad that all his teammates are transferring.
Dave is right. That was such a dig-on-Dave.
my wife got me a 12 beers of gheorghemas advent calendar. it's a gheorghemas miracle.
tribe takes on division iii goucher college at noon in williamburg. the gophers are 1-7, having lost to vmi by a 98-32 count. vegas isn't touching this one, but the line would have to be w&m -40 or so. let's just hope nobody gets hurt.
the big-city norfuckers put a beating on the country kids from loudoun county yesterday. maury beat stone bridge, 28-21, and lake taylor beat my kids' school, tuscarora, by a 34-14 score in state championship football games. just like those elitist yacht captains.
Nahfuk, baby
Post a Comment