| Chappelles Show | ||||
| True Hollywood Stories - Prince | ||||
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Tuesday, January 18, 2011
In honor of Zman's concert tonight...
...and the copious amount of hoops I watched yesterday, I present today's morning filler:
Monday, January 17, 2011
Reasons to Be Happy, Reasons to Be Sad (NY Jets Edition)
Apologies to the founders of this blog, but two part-time editors are huge Jets fans, so this will/should be allowed as a segue into MLK Day.
Reasons to Be Happy:
The NY Jets put their money where their foot-loving mouths were. They got pressure on Brady with their front four, they covered excellently, they ran the ball for 120 yards (which not enough people saw as a huge game-changing opportunity), Sanchez made no costly mistakes, and the media finally realized that Brad Smith wasn't all that important. In related news, my wife gave the green light for a trip to Pittsburgh for the author, as tales of the city's blue collar ethic and the success of the Winter Classic created the impetus for G:TB's first on-location report for a conference championship.
Reasons to Be Sad:
According to continental.com, expedia.com and jetblue.com, my chances of finding a reasonable trip to the Iron City are slim-to-none. I've been to Pittsburgh multiple times for mundane work trips, and I've always been struck by the city's exorbitant air fares and brutal security lines. This trip seems no different. I'm dying to root for Gang Green, but I can't pay $700+ to fly in on Saturday afternoon and out at noon on Monday. I blame the whole Rooney family, Sidney Crosby, Omar Epps, Andy Van Slyke, the concussed corpse of Mike Webster and Mike Tomlin. We'll see if I can pull a miracle flight from out of somewhere.
One More Reason to Be Happy:
We beat these guys in December in their house when our D wasn't playing nearly as well. Spare me the "Troy was hurt" nonsense because there are ten other allegedly tough men on that defense. If Troy is that much of a bad-ass, then they all suck more than we think, including James "PED" Farrior, Lamar Woodley, Casey Hampton, etc. The Jets lost their starting nose tackle and starting strong safety and haven't bitched about it.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Jay Cutler and Playoffs: The Math Doesn't Add Up
Number of times Jay Cutler has played a postseason game (college or pros)?
Take the Seahawks to cover. And if you haven't already, scroll down and read Dave's post.
Take the Seahawks to cover. And if you haven't already, scroll down and read Dave's post.
Charter Schools and Vouchers: The Math Doesn't Add Up
Once again, I have written an argument against charter schools and vouchers, but this letter might appeal to more conservative minds, as it deals with the financial consequences of Governor Christie's legislation.
Please read it, and if you agree, then get involved. Sign the petition, write letters to the newspaper and your political representatives, and pass the link on to all your friends with kids. If you don't agree, please tell me why. I appreciate that more than anything. And from here on in, I promise to return to my usual stupidity; I hate this kind of writing, but I'm doing it for my kids.
I know this is post is not very G:TB and I would much rather draw a cartoon of Governor Christie licking my taint, but I don't think that would help matters.
Please read it, and if you agree, then get involved. Sign the petition, write letters to the newspaper and your political representatives, and pass the link on to all your friends with kids. If you don't agree, please tell me why. I appreciate that more than anything. And from here on in, I promise to return to my usual stupidity; I hate this kind of writing, but I'm doing it for my kids.
I know this is post is not very G:TB and I would much rather draw a cartoon of Governor Christie licking my taint, but I don't think that would help matters.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Playoff Football, Live from Jerome's SportsCave
You know him better as Wheelhouse Jerry, the guy who had such a week in late November that no one had heard from him since. Or something like that. His three TV set-up is perfect for sports viewing, so I'm headed over there for today's NFL playoff action (and whatever else finds its way to the other two TVs - college hoops, stoopid soccer, awesome darts, confusing Australian football, you name it). Because I am a lazy bum, I have chosen two video clips to represent our games today. No predictions from me, just hoping the games are 69% as good as last Saturday's fare.
Baltimore Ravens @ Pittsburgh Steelers, 4:30 kickoff
Three and a half hours of two teams beating the piss out of each other. Banging heads (or helmets), if you will...
Green Bay Packers @ Atlanta Falcons, 8:00 kickoff
I was gonna throw up the "Do you like making f**k Bezerker" clip for Greg, but I felt we had enough metal above. Instead, the thought process went like this: "Falcons...playoffs...wait, wasn't MC Hammer on the sideline back in their Glanville/90s run...oh yeah...."
Baltimore Ravens @ Pittsburgh Steelers, 4:30 kickoff
Three and a half hours of two teams beating the piss out of each other. Banging heads (or helmets), if you will...
Green Bay Packers @ Atlanta Falcons, 8:00 kickoff
I was gonna throw up the "Do you like making f**k Bezerker" clip for Greg, but I felt we had enough metal above. Instead, the thought process went like this: "Falcons...playoffs...wait, wasn't MC Hammer on the sideline back in their Glanville/90s run...oh yeah...."
Friday, January 14, 2011
Le Ghoogles
- gheorghemas
- total recall
- macheda
- titans gheorghe: the blog
- gheorge the blog horse with no namwe
- circus peanuts
- futile superfans
- gheorghe the blog double down
- wiz khalifa blogspot
- gtb large hadron collider
- cee lo green blogspot
- gheorghe
- mad max 2 t shirt
- van der waals
- gheorghe: the blog inception
- scumbag millionaire
- cee lo blogspot
- circus peanut
- worst rock songs
- daryl bem
- matthew clemmens gheorghe
- why i oppose charter schools governor christie the cartel
- worst rock songs of all time
- www.iservepharmacy.com
- christmas eve in washington
- 12 days of gheorghe mas
- corn hole
- earl clark
- gheorghe the blog fumble! dave's drunk enthusiastic
- total recall pics
- 1980s baseball cards
- best facial film
- cee lo green blog
- gheorghe perfromance overview
- i'm the damn paterfamilias
- it's christmas eve in washington
- jim hart
- official college football
- q: are we not men? a: we are devo! blogspot
- total recall pictures
- вспомнить все
- 1980's baseball cards
- buffalo bills self-loathing g:tb
- earl clark suns
- flux capacitor fluxing
- how to draw quagmire
- igod touched
- janet jones gretzky
- jessee vasold
- kari wuhrer
- pictures of igor
- putana da seatbeltz
- whitesnake video
- wiz khalifa blog
- miami vice opening scenes jai alai
- 1st place ribbon clip art
- alomar gay
- berserker clerks
- best athletes under 5'9"
- binky griptite blogspot
- cake birthday
- eddie money no control
- fresh prince
- frosted flakes slogan
- gheorghe blog hivvy's
- group of german girls naked
- homewrecker ryan dunn tv rip
- huge naked boobs
- i hate kyle
- janet jones hot for teacher
- jason pierre paul fat
- javier mohica
- jeff jones melissa stark
- kato my little yellow friend i am home
- lance mehl
- leather blazer blogspot
- madrid lisbon restaurant
- making fuck
- mr hankey the christmas poo
- nats magazine
- nhóm wham
- rick dees worst inventions
- rocky vs drago
- ron perlman
- sport and genetics
- steve mcnair cinabon
- tattoo boy
Why I Oppose Nut Shots
I have decided to get serious and oppose something too. Maybe not something as serious as this, but something deserving of attention, nonetheless. And I am ashamed to say this, but you are all to blame for this menace. I was once to blame as well, but I'm changing my tune from soprano to baritone. I am, of course, talking about the glorification of the nut shot.
The nuts . . . otherwise known as the jewels, the sack, the nut-sack, the balls, the scrotum, the tea-bag, the gonads, the purse, the testicles (if you're the scientific sort) and, my favorite: the junk. Despite the humble appearance of these wrinkled weebles, we must remember that they are where human life originates. No, they are not as elegant as the female genitalia; no, they will probably never achieve these aesthetic heights, but-- appearances aside-- they are half the equation in the creation of a new soul.
It is time for men to band together and protect their own. Everyday, billions of men go out into the world, naked, without the protection of an athletic cup, to earn their livings, eat large amounts of food, get drunk, and do many other very important manly things. And if one of those brave, unprotected men suffers a whack in the sack, what do other men do? They laugh. This is abominable and uncivilized. It is time for men to stop this derision towards their fellow brothers. Have you ever seen a group of women laughing at one of their own, just after she was kicked in the snatch?
There is no lower form of humor than the nut shot. There is nothing meaner than reveling in someones scrotal agony. I did some research-- make sure you scroll down-- and a nut shot is serious. There are a serious amount of nerves in the testicular region, plus even a "medium shot lowers sperm count." A nut shot can also cause you to double over because of abdominal spasms, and there is always the possibility of (gulp) a rupture. To laugh at misfortune is despicable. Especially if it is a fellow man doubled over holding his nuts. The Germans call this sort of humor "schadenfreude." And if the Germans have a word for it, then it's not funny. Good God! The nut shot is actually illegal in boxing, the most corrupt sport of them all (according to Igor).
If a brother man is hit in the nuts, we should not laugh, but empathize. Ask not what a nut shot can do for you, but ask what you can do for someone's nuts.
The digital age has compounded this problem. In simpler times, you saw maybe two or three nut shots a year. Perhaps at a soccer game, or during the breaking of the pinata at a kid's party. Now that we have access to nut shot compilations, we can see two or three nut shots a minute. Each and every day. We require more and more nut shots to sate our nut-thirsty habits. When will this end? Perhaps we will have learned our lesson when the American sperm count hits zero.
I can remember a day not so long ago, when Igor, Rob, and I sat on our freshman hall, hands over our genitals, eying our fellow men with suspicion, protecting ourselves from what we innocently called a "flang dang." Nut shots ran rampant for a few months on that freshman hall, and if I could get that time back, I would use it differently. Instead of oppressing my fellow man's junk, I would help that junk to flourish. There were girls right down the hall! Couldn't our time have been better spent? Spent procreating, freeing our nuts, instead of compressing them into painful oppression. And for what? A moment of laughter. This is no way to live. The next time someone tries to get you to watch a nut-shot video, look away. Just say no. Both your nuts deserve it.
The nuts . . . otherwise known as the jewels, the sack, the nut-sack, the balls, the scrotum, the tea-bag, the gonads, the purse, the testicles (if you're the scientific sort) and, my favorite: the junk. Despite the humble appearance of these wrinkled weebles, we must remember that they are where human life originates. No, they are not as elegant as the female genitalia; no, they will probably never achieve these aesthetic heights, but-- appearances aside-- they are half the equation in the creation of a new soul.
There is no lower form of humor than the nut shot. There is nothing meaner than reveling in someones scrotal agony. I did some research-- make sure you scroll down-- and a nut shot is serious. There are a serious amount of nerves in the testicular region, plus even a "medium shot lowers sperm count." A nut shot can also cause you to double over because of abdominal spasms, and there is always the possibility of (gulp) a rupture. To laugh at misfortune is despicable. Especially if it is a fellow man doubled over holding his nuts. The Germans call this sort of humor "schadenfreude." And if the Germans have a word for it, then it's not funny. Good God! The nut shot is actually illegal in boxing, the most corrupt sport of them all (according to Igor).
If a brother man is hit in the nuts, we should not laugh, but empathize. Ask not what a nut shot can do for you, but ask what you can do for someone's nuts.
The digital age has compounded this problem. In simpler times, you saw maybe two or three nut shots a year. Perhaps at a soccer game, or during the breaking of the pinata at a kid's party. Now that we have access to nut shot compilations, we can see two or three nut shots a minute. Each and every day. We require more and more nut shots to sate our nut-thirsty habits. When will this end? Perhaps we will have learned our lesson when the American sperm count hits zero.
I can remember a day not so long ago, when Igor, Rob, and I sat on our freshman hall, hands over our genitals, eying our fellow men with suspicion, protecting ourselves from what we innocently called a "flang dang." Nut shots ran rampant for a few months on that freshman hall, and if I could get that time back, I would use it differently. Instead of oppressing my fellow man's junk, I would help that junk to flourish. There were girls right down the hall! Couldn't our time have been better spent? Spent procreating, freeing our nuts, instead of compressing them into painful oppression. And for what? A moment of laughter. This is no way to live. The next time someone tries to get you to watch a nut-shot video, look away. Just say no. Both your nuts deserve it.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
A New Menace
A pair of seemingly unrelated news stories went largely unnoticed in the hue and cry around the Garden State's burgeoning educational crisis. If the two developments reach their logical synthesis, the implications are daunting. Or totally awesome, depending on your point of view.Stanford researcher Ingmar Riedel-Kruse has successfully developed biotic videogames, allowing players to control the actions of living microorganisms to perform simple gaming tasks. Note that Riedel-Kruse is a real name, despite how close it sounds to Balki Bartokomous' pronounciation of ridiculous.
While Stanford pioneers the use of living creatures in gladatorial combat, raising the specter of mini-colosseums (colossi?) in every family room, our friends across the pond offer a humorous take on the ancient practice of fox hunting.
Iden, England's hounds are prohibited by law from hunting real foxes, so in the best tradition of Richard Dawson and Arnold Schwarzeneggar, the Coakham Hunt sends man's best friend over hill and dale in pursuit of man himself. Coakham's specially-trained bloodhounds hunt a pack of
humans, chasing the bleeding and panting homo sapiens for miles before tearing them limb from limb. (I assume this last part to be true - I stopped reading when I had enough material for this post.)
In this edition of G:TB's long-running series highlighting things that should make us all really, really paranoid, we offer a thought experiment about the potential conflation of these two modern-age curiousities. Three words: Human Pac-Man. Two words, depending upon how you feel about hyphens. Think about it, as you chuckle about the gene researchers playing God with the cute little paramecia in their laboratories in Palo Alto, and picture yourself being chased by a Hummer-sized amoeba while you have that gawdawful Pac-Man blaring in your head.I think you all know what must be done. Riedel-Kruse can't be allowed to procreate. I've sent the Teej back to 1979 to stop him from being born. And to pick up some of those awesome Pittsburgh Pirates caps. Godspeed, my friend.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Igor and I felt this was an appropriate "next post"
Enough of the political discourse and rancor folks...just watch and enjoy:
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
The Anti-Filler
So, believe it or not, but the same guy that brought you this, this, and this, has been working on the following editorial all day. I'm sending it to the local paper, my congressmen, the governor, and Kim Jong Il. And I'm never writing anything serious again. It's painful, boring, and tedious . . . but I think all my anger has dissipated, and now I can go back to writing my normal fare for G:TB.
And perhaps this will boost our Readability Level.
And if this makes sense, you can sign a petition to oppose this here.
And if this makes sense, you can sign a petition to oppose this here.
Last year, Governor Christie cut aid to school budgets by 820 million dollars, yet he promised that he would not touch the money allotted to charter schools. He also promised that there would be more charter schools in New Jersey in 2011. This is illogical on many counts. Diverting money from already strained school budgets in order to open more charter schools, especially in towns with successful schools, will not solve any of New Jersey’s economic problems. It will also weaken the schools we have.
I live and teach in Central New Jersey. Both my town school and the school at which I work are very successful. Both have a high graduation rate, high SAT scores, and a high percentage of students that attend four-year colleges. Neither is a "failing school." These kinds of schools are never mentioned in Governor Christie’s rhetoric. Both schools now succeed despite the fact that budgets were cut because of Governor Christie’s “tool-kit.” My honors English classes are packed with students this year. Children are not getting the attention they deserve. My town's school has been reduced to a skeleton crew of supervisors. Any extra money in either town's school budget would go to excellent use, but in the town I teach in, Hatikvah, a Hebrew Language Charter school, is further draining the budget. My home town's tiny school budget is in similar danger. Tikun Olam, another Hebrew language charter school, has been "fast tracked" for state approval. Trenton has instructed our town to reserve money in its school budget to fund the charter school.
Why are charter schools being opened in successful districts? The citizens of both my town and the town in which I teach pay high property taxes to support good school systems. Now this money is being siphoned into an experiment in free market education. These districts do not need charter schools. This does not benefit the majority of the students. The “fast-tracking” of these schools is a political maneuver against public school teachers and unions. Governor Christie has effectively pointed the finger at the educational system for the State's economic woes, and he is supposedly using charter schools as a tool to balance the budget. This makes no sense. The cause of the recession is not competitive teacher salaries, and the solution is not more State funded schools. New Jersey already gives people a wide variety of choices in schools. People often choose where they live based on the school system.
Governor Christie never mentions this when he attacks New Jersey schools and their budgets. He also never mentions that New Jersey has the highest high school graduation rate in the nation. New Jersey sends an extremely high percentage of students to four-year colleges. Could certain schools use reform? Certainly. But to condemn the entire system-- when it is one of the most successful school systems in the nation-- is egregious. Christie's solution to the public school "crisis" is the free market. He believes more choice will solve the problem. Charter schools will offer this choice. And charter schools will do it on the cheap. Charter schools, though funded by the public, do not have to meet as many standards as public schools. Apparently, the Governor bases his pro-charter school philosophy on one-sided, anecdotal documentaries like The Cartel, which he heartily endorses. The Cartel cherry picks a few stories of corruption in public schools and then makes a generalization, but making schools more like a business is perilous. A free market, while fine for non-essential items, is volatile and takes time to react to market needs. A free market in mortgage products resulted in our current recession. A free market in electricity resulted in both the economic chaos in California and the Enron scandal. Some things should not be subjected to the caprices of a free market, and our children’s education is one of them.
All I ask is that the Governor put down his remote and do more reading. I suggest that he reads Diane Ravitch's recent analysis of charter schools, The Death and Life of the Great American School System. Ravitch, a former Secretary of Education, is as bi-partisan as they come. George H.W. Bush and Bill Clinton appointed her, and she has been critical of both conservative and liberal views on education. Her book provides comprehensive data that charter schools generally do not produce better test scores-- more often than not, they produce worse scores-- and she details the logistical nightmare of making students and parents consumers of education, instead of citizens vested in their town’s school. Years ago, Ravitch believed charter schools would improve the educational system. Then she analyzed the data and looked at the consequences. She changed her philosophy. Is our Governor capable of such reflection?
The public school is one of the last places where the local community can participate in democracy: vote on the budget, influence the curriculum, collaborate with the school board. Places with the best educational systems-- from Massachusetts to Finland to Japan-- have a strong respect for public schools. They have community involvement in the curriculum; well paid, well educated, unionized teachers; and ample funding.
We do not need more schools in New Jersey. We need to become involved in the schools we have. We need impassioned participation in our educational system from parents, students, teachers, administrators and politicians. Teaching needs to be an attractive job for our best and brightest. We need to ask tough questions about what we want our children to know. And our public school budgets should not suffer because of our governor’s political agenda. Please do what you can to ensure that your town's public school is properly funded. All of our children deserve it.
I live and teach in Central New Jersey. Both my town school and the school at which I work are very successful. Both have a high graduation rate, high SAT scores, and a high percentage of students that attend four-year colleges. Neither is a "failing school." These kinds of schools are never mentioned in Governor Christie’s rhetoric. Both schools now succeed despite the fact that budgets were cut because of Governor Christie’s “tool-kit.” My honors English classes are packed with students this year. Children are not getting the attention they deserve. My town's school has been reduced to a skeleton crew of supervisors. Any extra money in either town's school budget would go to excellent use, but in the town I teach in, Hatikvah, a Hebrew Language Charter school, is further draining the budget. My home town's tiny school budget is in similar danger. Tikun Olam, another Hebrew language charter school, has been "fast tracked" for state approval. Trenton has instructed our town to reserve money in its school budget to fund the charter school.
Why are charter schools being opened in successful districts? The citizens of both my town and the town in which I teach pay high property taxes to support good school systems. Now this money is being siphoned into an experiment in free market education. These districts do not need charter schools. This does not benefit the majority of the students. The “fast-tracking” of these schools is a political maneuver against public school teachers and unions. Governor Christie has effectively pointed the finger at the educational system for the State's economic woes, and he is supposedly using charter schools as a tool to balance the budget. This makes no sense. The cause of the recession is not competitive teacher salaries, and the solution is not more State funded schools. New Jersey already gives people a wide variety of choices in schools. People often choose where they live based on the school system.
Governor Christie never mentions this when he attacks New Jersey schools and their budgets. He also never mentions that New Jersey has the highest high school graduation rate in the nation. New Jersey sends an extremely high percentage of students to four-year colleges. Could certain schools use reform? Certainly. But to condemn the entire system-- when it is one of the most successful school systems in the nation-- is egregious. Christie's solution to the public school "crisis" is the free market. He believes more choice will solve the problem. Charter schools will offer this choice. And charter schools will do it on the cheap. Charter schools, though funded by the public, do not have to meet as many standards as public schools. Apparently, the Governor bases his pro-charter school philosophy on one-sided, anecdotal documentaries like The Cartel, which he heartily endorses. The Cartel cherry picks a few stories of corruption in public schools and then makes a generalization, but making schools more like a business is perilous. A free market, while fine for non-essential items, is volatile and takes time to react to market needs. A free market in mortgage products resulted in our current recession. A free market in electricity resulted in both the economic chaos in California and the Enron scandal. Some things should not be subjected to the caprices of a free market, and our children’s education is one of them.
All I ask is that the Governor put down his remote and do more reading. I suggest that he reads Diane Ravitch's recent analysis of charter schools, The Death and Life of the Great American School System. Ravitch, a former Secretary of Education, is as bi-partisan as they come. George H.W. Bush and Bill Clinton appointed her, and she has been critical of both conservative and liberal views on education. Her book provides comprehensive data that charter schools generally do not produce better test scores-- more often than not, they produce worse scores-- and she details the logistical nightmare of making students and parents consumers of education, instead of citizens vested in their town’s school. Years ago, Ravitch believed charter schools would improve the educational system. Then she analyzed the data and looked at the consequences. She changed her philosophy. Is our Governor capable of such reflection?
The public school is one of the last places where the local community can participate in democracy: vote on the budget, influence the curriculum, collaborate with the school board. Places with the best educational systems-- from Massachusetts to Finland to Japan-- have a strong respect for public schools. They have community involvement in the curriculum; well paid, well educated, unionized teachers; and ample funding.
We do not need more schools in New Jersey. We need to become involved in the schools we have. We need impassioned participation in our educational system from parents, students, teachers, administrators and politicians. Teaching needs to be an attractive job for our best and brightest. We need to ask tough questions about what we want our children to know. And our public school budgets should not suffer because of our governor’s political agenda. Please do what you can to ensure that your town's public school is properly funded. All of our children deserve it.
Well That Was Fun
Strong efforting all around in the comments section last night, ladies and gents. In honor of the imminent Nor'easter, let's continue last night's theme of animated characters that vaguely (or explicitly) reference illegal drugs.
In totally unrleated news, FIFA's World All-Star Team was announced yesterday. 6 Barcelona players, 3 Inter Milan players and 2 Real Madrid players were listed. Not one person from an EPL club. This surprise me a lot, but I am not nearly versed enough in international footie to know better. I believe Didier Drogba got screwed on this one, as his injury-prone Fall, uneventful Cup and poor hair overshadowed a strong Spring. Here's the country breakdown of the players: Spain (6), Brazil (2), Portugal, Netherlands, Argentina. A little too much World Cup impact for my tastes.
In totally unrleated news, FIFA's World All-Star Team was announced yesterday. 6 Barcelona players, 3 Inter Milan players and 2 Real Madrid players were listed. Not one person from an EPL club. This surprise me a lot, but I am not nearly versed enough in international footie to know better. I believe Didier Drogba got screwed on this one, as his injury-prone Fall, uneventful Cup and poor hair overshadowed a strong Spring. Here's the country breakdown of the players: Spain (6), Brazil (2), Portugal, Netherlands, Argentina. A little too much World Cup impact for my tastes.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Oregon-Auburn. Points points points. I love points.
The final game of the College Football season is upon us and that makes me sad. Sad, but pretty excited too. The Oregon-Auburn matchup is intriguing on a number of levels, not the least of which is the possible offensive explosion on our hands in Glendale tonight.
We've all seen what these teams can do so I'm not going to waste your time talking. Not yet at least. I'm bringing back the G:TB Live Blog. Meet and me and my pal Cocaine Bear in the comments.
We've all seen what these teams can do so I'm not going to waste your time talking. Not yet at least. I'm bringing back the G:TB Live Blog. Meet and me and my pal Cocaine Bear in the comments.
Sunday, January 09, 2011
Saturday, January 08, 2011
I'm a terrible gambler, so danimal will be wagering for me
He's taking the 7-9 Seahawks, proud winners of the NFC West...and 10.5 point underdogs. At home. Against the defending Super Bowl Champions. But TJ, you say, why should danimal waste his actual money on your asinine bet, with zero rationale to back it up? Let me stop you right there, voices in my head...I do have a reason. It's not the whole 12th man, home-crowd nonsense. It's not the huge injuries to 2 of the 3 Saints RBs, and the third fighting daily through myriad KardaSTDs. It's Matt Hasselbeck. Yes, that decrepit donkey. Oh, no, I don't think he'll lead them to victory at all after dumbass Pete Carroll started him today. Nope, I assume he will get killed somewhere in quarter two...and then The Whitehurst will rise again. He was competent last week, is a million times more mobile than Statuebeck, and yes, Chaz really really really looks like Jesus, or at least Family Guy's Jesus:
All that being said, I'm not backing Seattle to win, just to cover the spread. Brees does breesy-type things, Saints win 28-20, but danimal wins dollah dollah bills, y'all. Doofus Overlord out.
All that being said, I'm not backing Seattle to win, just to cover the spread. Brees does breesy-type things, Saints win 28-20, but danimal wins dollah dollah bills, y'all. Doofus Overlord out.
Friday, January 07, 2011
Fashion is...Filler
Take the space between us, and fill it up some way. Like with the jacket I bought Igor for Christmas.
Thursday, January 06, 2011
Money
We all have some. We all want more. Here's what it looks like:
$1 Million, in $100 bills:
$1 Billion, in $100 bills:
$1 Trillion, in $100 bills (note how little the man with no face is on the lower left):
(h/t to Greg Mankiw's blog for the link)
$1 Million, in $100 bills:
$1 Billion, in $100 bills:
$1 Trillion, in $100 bills (note how little the man with no face is on the lower left):
(h/t to Greg Mankiw's blog for the link)
Burying the Hatchet Job
Tim Kurkjian can come back in off the ledge. We finally have some news about Roberto Alomar that doesn't involve him spending time at Hivvy's. He's been voted into the National Baseball Hall of Fame in his second year of eligibility. Congrats are in order. I guess.
As the wee Mr. Kurkjian proclaimed in his squeaky soprano after last year's snubbery, the numbers on Alomar as compared with his fellow second basemen through the years are unbelievably strong. Only he and Joe Morgan manned baseball's "diamond tip" with such four-tool prowess in the last 60 years of the game.
.300, 210 HRs, 1134 RBI, 474 SB, 10 Gold Gloves, 12 All-Star appearances, 2 World Series, 1 spitting incident. One of the best 2B's of all time for sure.
Blah.
Blah.
Blah.
While there is not, to my knowledge, a website called www.firerobbyalomar.com, there did used to be a little blog in a quiet corner of the 'sphere (inappropriately) called Misery Loves Company: Two Guys Watch Baseball. Over there, someone took great delight in briefly chronicling, then lamenting ad nauseum the eerie transformation that Alomar underwent when he arrived in Queens in 2002. Someone with some serious deep-rooted issues. Someone like me.
Everything good you will hear about Roberto Alomar happened in San Diego, Toronto, Baltimore, and Cleveland. Everything bad that can happen to a baseball player's skill set happened in New York. And it drove us fucking nuts. But before I fall into another rant, I'll stop. Because (a) I've done this too many times already, and (b) let's face it, he's kind of gotten a whole lot of bad press elsewhere lately.
Go type "roberto alomar" into the Google bar, but like The Rear Admiral, don't enter it. See what comes up in the suggested searches:
And so I come here today not to bury Roberto Alomar any deeper than I have, but to acknowledge that the ulcer-inducing level of
angst he singularly injected into the guts of Mets Township in a season and a half of stank may be evened out with the public rear-ending he's getting in the media. He may have already paid his debt to (our little socially inept slice of) society, and as such, I invite him to enjoy the accolades freely without further barrage from us Mets fans.
As an added bonus, when your name is looked up, Robby, may "infected" and "HIV" be supplanted by "inducted" and "HOF" in search engines everywhere from Fire Island to Key West to the Mission.
Not so fast, my friend. Before we go, let's run the highlight reel on Robby Alomar's time in the spotlight of MLC. I have culled out dozens of remarks in the interest of saving space, so this is just a smattering. Reprinted with permission.
“...lest they fester like Robby Alomar all season.”
“All-Star Voting: The only Mets on their respective positional leader charts are Piazza (hurt since May, still out) and Alomar (crappy since last May, still crappy).”
“In his last three years with Cleveland, Alomar put up an average season that looks like this: .323, 21 HR, 103 RBI, .405 OBP, .516 SLG. Awesome, Hall of Fame-type numbers, from a guy who was also one of the league's slickest fielders. In the two years he's "played" with the Mets, his numbers look like this (with '03 projected based on current stats): .264, 8 HR, 49 RBI, .333 OBP, .367 SLG. That's not bad, it's falling-off-a-cliff awful. Man, Mets fans must be happy to get this stiff gone.”
“It's still a kick in the groin, but at least it's not with a stiletto heel (raided from Robby Alomar's locker).”
“Forgetting the season-and-a-half-long enema that was Robbie Alomar…”
“December 11, 2001: Received Roberto Alomar, Danny Peoples, and Mike Bacsik from the Indians Matt Lawton, Alex Escobar, Jerrod Riggan, Earl Snyder and Billy Traber. Stink. Stank. Stunk.”
“Win it for Robby ‘Bait and Switch’ Alomar, who just retired Saturday after taking his career from ‘sure-fire Hall of Famer’ to ‘not so much,’ mostly while in New York. He would especially enjoy this -- not the winning of the World Series, but this teary, pouty discussion of it.”
“Of course, every time in the past two seasons that I've proclaimed that it was ‘Go Time’ for the Metropolitans, they've answered the call with all of the verve and vigor of a tea party with doll-babies in Robby Alomar's basement. Tea for two - and two for tea - I hit .332 - then .233 . . .”
“After the beauty of Games 1 and 2 of this series, watching last night's contest was like tweezing my eyebrows out hair by hair. (Robby Alomar used to do exactly that in the Mets' clubhouse, coincidentally.)”
“You've known since your first month in New York that the only 'run support' in that clubhouse involved Robby Alomar's pantyhose and not hitters driving in runners for you.”
“Aflac Trivia Question: Who was the last Pirate to lead the league in hits? I’m saying a pre-bloat Bonds. Of course, Robby Alomar used to be up there in hits, and he was a pirate of sorts.”
“Liken ourselves as we do to large-scale journalists (Rob, there's a bump-set there waiting for you), we get to enjoy some freedoms not known to mass media writers. We can bash people sans recourse: Roberto Alomar (‘horrid,’ ‘falling-off-a-cliff awful,’ ‘Bait and Switch,’ ‘the season-and-a-half-long enema,’ ‘fair Spanish lady,’ ‘the little boy down the street who plays with dolls’)”
“the Beelzebub of Flushing, Robby Alomar…”
“…we can only hope for an Alomarian plummet down the stairs, though the manhole, and into the sewer.”
“…Roberto Alomar’s singular disemboweling of not only the 2003-04 New York Mets (a.k.a. dues-paying time at MLC) but also the future general management of the Metropolitans organization as a whole”
“Being able -- obligated, even -- to come up with new and creative ways to explain Robby Alomar's putrid plummet into doldrumville kept me going.”
As the wee Mr. Kurkjian proclaimed in his squeaky soprano after last year's snubbery, the numbers on Alomar as compared with his fellow second basemen through the years are unbelievably strong. Only he and Joe Morgan manned baseball's "diamond tip" with such four-tool prowess in the last 60 years of the game.
.300, 210 HRs, 1134 RBI, 474 SB, 10 Gold Gloves, 12 All-Star appearances, 2 World Series, 1 spitting incident. One of the best 2B's of all time for sure.
Blah.
Blah.
Blah.
While there is not, to my knowledge, a website called www.firerobbyalomar.com, there did used to be a little blog in a quiet corner of the 'sphere (inappropriately) called Misery Loves Company: Two Guys Watch Baseball. Over there, someone took great delight in briefly chronicling, then lamenting ad nauseum the eerie transformation that Alomar underwent when he arrived in Queens in 2002. Someone with some serious deep-rooted issues. Someone like me.
Everything good you will hear about Roberto Alomar happened in San Diego, Toronto, Baltimore, and Cleveland. Everything bad that can happen to a baseball player's skill set happened in New York. And it drove us fucking nuts. But before I fall into another rant, I'll stop. Because (a) I've done this too many times already, and (b) let's face it, he's kind of gotten a whole lot of bad press elsewhere lately.
Go type "roberto alomar" into the Google bar, but like The Rear Admiral, don't enter it. See what comes up in the suggested searches:
- roberto alomar
- roberto alomar hiv
- roberto alomar aids
- roberto alomar gay
- roberto alomar stats
- rogers hornsby
- rogers hornsby stats
- rogers hornsby quotes
- rogers hornsby baseball card
- rogers hornsby biography
And so I come here today not to bury Roberto Alomar any deeper than I have, but to acknowledge that the ulcer-inducing level of
angst he singularly injected into the guts of Mets Township in a season and a half of stank may be evened out with the public rear-ending he's getting in the media. He may have already paid his debt to (our little socially inept slice of) society, and as such, I invite him to enjoy the accolades freely without further barrage from us Mets fans. As an added bonus, when your name is looked up, Robby, may "infected" and "HIV" be supplanted by "inducted" and "HOF" in search engines everywhere from Fire Island to Key West to the Mission.
Not so fast, my friend. Before we go, let's run the highlight reel on Robby Alomar's time in the spotlight of MLC. I have culled out dozens of remarks in the interest of saving space, so this is just a smattering. Reprinted with permission.
“...lest they fester like Robby Alomar all season.”
“All-Star Voting: The only Mets on their respective positional leader charts are Piazza (hurt since May, still out) and Alomar (crappy since last May, still crappy).”
“In his last three years with Cleveland, Alomar put up an average season that looks like this: .323, 21 HR, 103 RBI, .405 OBP, .516 SLG. Awesome, Hall of Fame-type numbers, from a guy who was also one of the league's slickest fielders. In the two years he's "played" with the Mets, his numbers look like this (with '03 projected based on current stats): .264, 8 HR, 49 RBI, .333 OBP, .367 SLG. That's not bad, it's falling-off-a-cliff awful. Man, Mets fans must be happy to get this stiff gone.”
“It's still a kick in the groin, but at least it's not with a stiletto heel (raided from Robby Alomar's locker).”
“Forgetting the season-and-a-half-long enema that was Robbie Alomar…”
“December 11, 2001: Received Roberto Alomar, Danny Peoples, and Mike Bacsik from the Indians Matt Lawton, Alex Escobar, Jerrod Riggan, Earl Snyder and Billy Traber. Stink. Stank. Stunk.”
“Win it for Robby ‘Bait and Switch’ Alomar, who just retired Saturday after taking his career from ‘sure-fire Hall of Famer’ to ‘not so much,’ mostly while in New York. He would especially enjoy this -- not the winning of the World Series, but this teary, pouty discussion of it.”
“Of course, every time in the past two seasons that I've proclaimed that it was ‘Go Time’ for the Metropolitans, they've answered the call with all of the verve and vigor of a tea party with doll-babies in Robby Alomar's basement. Tea for two - and two for tea - I hit .332 - then .233 . . .”
“After the beauty of Games 1 and 2 of this series, watching last night's contest was like tweezing my eyebrows out hair by hair. (Robby Alomar used to do exactly that in the Mets' clubhouse, coincidentally.)”
“You've known since your first month in New York that the only 'run support' in that clubhouse involved Robby Alomar's pantyhose and not hitters driving in runners for you.”
“Aflac Trivia Question: Who was the last Pirate to lead the league in hits? I’m saying a pre-bloat Bonds. Of course, Robby Alomar used to be up there in hits, and he was a pirate of sorts.”
“Liken ourselves as we do to large-scale journalists (Rob, there's a bump-set there waiting for you), we get to enjoy some freedoms not known to mass media writers. We can bash people sans recourse: Roberto Alomar (‘horrid,’ ‘falling-off-a-cliff awful,’ ‘Bait and Switch,’ ‘the season-and-a-half-long enema,’ ‘fair Spanish lady,’ ‘the little boy down the street who plays with dolls’)”
“the Beelzebub of Flushing, Robby Alomar…”
“…we can only hope for an Alomarian plummet down the stairs, though the manhole, and into the sewer.”
“…Roberto Alomar’s singular disemboweling of not only the 2003-04 New York Mets (a.k.a. dues-paying time at MLC) but also the future general management of the Metropolitans organization as a whole”
“Being able -- obligated, even -- to come up with new and creative ways to explain Robby Alomar's putrid plummet into doldrumville kept me going.”
Wednesday, January 05, 2011
Fashion is...Clyde Frazier
A slight change of pace in our "Fashion is..." series. You see a jacket like this on Clyde Frazier, you post it. No questions asked. (it's almost liked they skinned the cow from "Top Secret!" to make it)
Thanks to @bandwagonknick for doing the world a service and putting this on the internet.
Thanks to @bandwagonknick for doing the world a service and putting this on the internet.
Tuesday, January 04, 2011
Whitney asked, so G:TB delivers
The Buffalo Bills 1st round draft history, back to 1990:
The Washington redskins 1st round draft history, back to 1984, just because it's fun to see how much Gibbs hated draft picks:
Have at it folks...
The Washington redskins 1st round draft history, back to 1984, just because it's fun to see how much Gibbs hated draft picks:
Have at it folks...
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