Fashion is... Dumb: NBA Draft Edition

Howdy folks, you might remember me from such filler as "The Ghoogles" and the long-forgotten "Ceai Complet". Well, in honor of tonight's NBA Draft first round coverage (seriously, do we really need the second round on it's own separate night?), I have returned from the dead (DC weather) for a special edition of my personal fav filler, FiD. 

I am hoping for one of the more exciting drafts in memory, as the salary cap and all these variety of aprons (not machine washable) might have teams wheeling and dealing, like Boston over the last two days. And questions abound: will Ace Bailey hijack a 737? Will Washington then take him 6? What the hell are the Nets gonna do with FIVE first round picks? Does Kon Knueppel's middle name happen to start with a "K"? If he falls in the draft, who drops the first "Wrath of Kon" skeet? (hint, in my most sing-songy Timberlake voice, IT'S GONNA BE MAAAAY)

But seriously, *extreme Chandler Bing voice* could this man use any more parens?

Samaki Walker, you beautiful beautiful... bust:

Amazingly, this is not actually Drew Gooden, there are three robs standing on top of each other under that tarp of a suit:

LeBron in his French aristocrat phase:

Here's Gradey Dick dressed like Vanilla Ice was a Dick Tracy villain:

For no reason at all, here's Jan Vesely looking sad and depressed, as any Wizards draft pick should be:

And to close us out, our namesake and his draft night fit. See you all in the comments. VIVA LES WIZERABLES

The Very Definition of a Modern Filler Post

Meta, and yet not. Get in the comments, kids.

The only way to make this more on-brand would be to add muppets

Shitty Sunday Filler

The weather here in the National Capital region is, in a word, dismal. Rain, wind, high 40s/low 50s. And I'm getting on a plane at 6:15 tomorrow morning to fly to Minneapolis for three days, where the forecast highs don't get out of the 30s, and another snowstorm is predicted for Wednesday.

I spent the early afternoon on the sidelines, coaching soccer in a driving rainstorm, and so I'm thoroughly chilled.

But all is well, because I got to listen to a big chunk of Annie Clark's Coachella set on the way home after the match. And she fucking brought it.

So enjoy Masseduction here, and see if you can find the full set. She's amazing, and I now have a bucket list goal to see her live. Let me know if you wanna go with.

10% Off Bob Ross Merch!

Our tiny dictator demanded more filler and gmail providently provides. Behold, from my inbox, PBS.org alerted me to a 10% sale on Bob Ross merch! Use the code BR10.

The selection is breathtaking. They have two, count 'em two, happy little Bob Ross bobbleheads.

And you thought we'd never use the Bob Ross tag again.

Fashion is Dumb: I'M GUMBY('S HORSE), DAMMIT

The tiny dictator requested filler. I'm your huckleberry.

Via TR...

Pharrel and Pokey

Last Refuge of a Scoundrel*

* Scoundrel defined in this case as "one who's completely run out of ideas".

Caption This:

Hi, Gheorghies!!

Well, given the shitty shit that went down in Boston, I was glad to have G:TB for updates about Beantown friends' well-being.  In truth, in several cases Gheorghe was more current with that than Facebook.  Thank you guys.

What the world needs now is another folk singer.  And what Gheorghedom needs now is a distraction.  A pointless, possibly confusing, YouTube filler to take our minds off the tragedy and into the bedroom.  This Wednesday night I'd like each of you to make this clip happen with your respective lovers.  And use the proper attire -- remember, that's why the call them business socks.

Oh -- it's got some NSFW brief blurry full frontal.  Take note.

I like sunshine. I also like Ben Folds Five, especially the lyrics to this song.

I do not like Tuesdays.

They made a G.I. Joe 2. And the RZA is involved.

We'll start the week with a Valentine's Day gift idea for several G:TB staff members. RZA's set to play a sensei known as the Blind Master in G.I. Joe 2 this summer. The Wu Tang impresario got to design his own costume, which includes a wide-brimmed hat with blades coming out of it. Protect Ya Neck, indeed.

Refreshed

This is how I felt most of yesterday.

All better now, and ready for a day of hoops and rivalry games.

Interlude

I promised the Doofus Overlord that I'd finish a piece for posting today.  I failed.  But I did find this rare footage of Teejay and TR's old music video show for filler.


REM Driver 8 by Celtiemama

Fashion is...Filler

Take the space between us, and fill it up some way. Like with the jacket I bought Igor for Christmas.

Friday Nights at Tortugas

I have never been to the Outer Banks. And I have never been to the Outer Banks with the dregs that roam this blog. And I have never been to this famous "Tortugas" place, for which the professional alcoholics among the aforementioned dregs profess so much love.

But I bet/hope it looks and sounds something like this.

God bless you, Moldovian sax lovers.

Someone buy me this shirt. Now.

Courtesy of the Zman, my new favorite t-shirt ever:

Houston. Hello.

Spanning the globe to bring you...whatever it is we bring you:

Item: Greg Paulus is 1-2 as Syracuse's starting QB

It's fashionable in the snarkosphere to mock the former Duke point guard for his uberhonkiness and earnest floor-slapping rah rah mien. But who among you wouldn't trade a testicle, or at least a few toenails for a chance to play both Division I football and basketball? Paulus threw for 346 yards and 2 scores in leading the Orange over Northwestern last weekend, and while he won't ever be my favorite player, I can't help but admire his talent.

Item: Chipotle Burrito

The manifold causes of American's obesity are well documented. But for the love of God, Chipotle, how do you sleep at night? I just ordered a burrito that's almost literally the size of my head. If I ate the whole thing I'd gain at least 11 pounds, law of conservation of matter be damned. At long last, have you no decency?

Item: My New Favorite NFL Team

We're taking applications. The rules are: a) the team must not have made the playoffs in 2008 (to limit the bandwagoning options); b) the owner must not be an insufferable, fan-hating jerk (which unfortunately rules out the Saints, who look like a lot of fun); and, c) the team must not be the New England Patriots (see explanation for a) above).

Item: Women, Though Inattentive and Dangerous Behind the Wheel, Can Serve a Purpose in Society

Hi, honey! Happy almost Anniversary.

Item: Futile Superfan Update

Your William & Mary Tribe enters the weekend 3-0 and ranked #5 in Division IAA. Jimmye Laycock's boys open their conference schedule this week, hosting Delaware's Fighting Blue Hens under the lights in Williamsburg. W&M, who ripped the Hens, 27-3, in Newark last year, comes into the game with the country's 15th-ranked defense. That was not a typo. Should the Tribe prevail, their 4-0 start would the the school's best since 1994, aka Whitney's 7th year of college. With 4 CAA teams in the IAA Top 10 (none of them named Delaware), this is a crucial game for the Wrens.

Item: Russian Oligarch Wants to Buy the Nets, Move Them to Brooklyn

Because what we need is yet another easy angle for our sports media: Russia has mobsters with ties to sports gambling. So does New York. Presto, headline!

"Lethargy" is my middle name

Despite a spirited cyber-discussion of ideas amongst the G:TB wonks at our weekly meeting, there is little content to offer the tens of readers of this wit-starved niche of the information superhighway. There was talk of a baseball post, a YouTube clip and a mustache-themed post, but that talk has faded. Quickly.

If you all are looking for a scapegoat, I nominate Mark, the Assistant to the Regional Manager of G:TB. You can e-mail him here: webmaster@percyharvinfanclub.com.

Have a nice weekend, fockers.

G:TB's Recession Survival Guide (Part I)

For folks who, like me, have fallen prey to the recession and need ways to stay afloat, I present this tremendous web site.

(Editorial note: I also wanted an excuse to google "grillz" and "gold teeth.")

If that option doesn't appeal to you, allow me to present another option.

Carry on.

Thursday Filler

There. Are. No. Words.
(Other than he probably ended up at William & Mary.)

You May Think Your Job Sucks...

...but at least you're not this guy.