I'm a terrible gambler, so danimal will be wagering for me

He's taking the 7-9 Seahawks, proud winners of the NFC West...and 10.5 point underdogs. At home. Against the defending Super Bowl Champions. But TJ, you say, why should danimal waste his actual money on your asinine bet, with zero rationale to back it up? Let me stop you right there, voices in my head...I do have a reason. It's not the whole 12th man, home-crowd nonsense. It's not the huge injuries to 2 of the 3 Saints RBs, and the third fighting daily through myriad KardaSTDs. It's Matt Hasselbeck. Yes, that decrepit donkey. Oh, no, I don't think he'll lead them to victory at all after dumbass Pete Carroll started him today. Nope, I assume he will get killed somewhere in quarter two...and then The Whitehurst will rise again. He was competent last week, is a million times more mobile than Statuebeck, and yes, Chaz really really really looks like Jesus, or at least Family Guy's Jesus:

All that being said, I'm not backing Seattle to win, just to cover the spread. Brees does breesy-type things, Saints win 28-20, but danimal wins dollah dollah bills, y'all. Doofus Overlord out.