I love Eddie Murphy's movies. Trading Places was the first Eddie Murphy movie I ever saw, and also my first rated R movie, and it left a deep impression on my young consciousness. I sought out all of his movies after that. Some were really good, others not so much.
My friends liked his movies too and one of them had Raw on VHS. We must've watched it a hundred times. It too left a deep impression.
One of Murphy's not-so-good movies is The Distinguished Gentleman (not to be confused with Perfect Gentleman) in which he plays a con man from Florida named Jeff Johnson who runs for Congress when his representative, also named Jeff Johnson, dies shortly before the election. Murphy wins solely due to name recognition and he goes on to grift while in office. Along the way he falls in love with a do-good attorney, and when some bad politicians discover and publicize his criminal past, exposes their corruption. He then, naturally, decides to run for president.
This seemed ridiculous in 1992 but in 2026 it holds up. We currently have a convicted felon in the White House and I'm confident that George W. Bush got some votes from people who thought they were voting for Reagan's Vice President.
In Alaska, incumbent Republican senator Dan S. Sullivan faces a primary challenge from Dan J. Sullivan, a former teacher. The incumbent decries this situation, natch, alleging that his doppelgänger is in cahoots with Democratic nominee Deb Haaland (no relation to Erling, she's running on a platform of "fish, family, and freedom") in an attempt to confuse voters and divert votes to the fugazi Sullivan. The Alaska Supreme Court said both Sullys can stay on the ballot though, and Alaska has some weird Russian-influenced election process where the top four vote-getters from the primary advance to the general, so it's possible the Dans will face off a second time. Democracy!
This confirms that we are indeed living in the dumbest possible timeline. And I'm going to change my name to Dexter St. Jacques in advance of the 2028 presidential election so that I can run against Donald Trump Jr. when he pursues his father's third term.
I'm a fan of language, especially slang, so I enjoy following the youngs' neologisms. Although one of my faves is "don't yuck my yum" I'm going to do so in this post.
Which is not a political post! You probably think I'm going to gleefully detail Bryon Noem's love of bimbofication but you're wrong. If that's how he gets down, so be it. I do, however, find it gobsmacking that of all the things associated with Kristi Noem over the past 14-or-so months, this is what brings her shame.
I take to my keyboard to instead yuck a different practice. I have long maintained, and I'm sure Danimal agrees, that water is the homeowner's greatest enemy. It can cause problems originating in the house or from any direction outside the house. You know you're middle aged when you see a foot of snow outside your house and perseverate about how it will all end up in your sump pump someday.
The homeowner's second greatest enemy is bugs. Roaches, silverfish, termites, cave crickets, centipedes. And ants. Every year I wage chemical warfare against odorous house ants, or Tapinoma sessile to the entomologically inclined, by applying ecologically disastrous amounts of Amdro Ant Block to the foundation of zhome to minimize their appearance in zkitchen. I cannot stand those little bastards.
I therefore yuck the practice of collecting ants. So widespread is this preposterous hobby that there exists a commercial endeavor called AntsRUs.com offering for sale ants and, mindbogglingly, termites, as well as equipment to house these pests. Some of these ants start at £159.99! A hundred and sixty quid to bring a bug into your house!?! Bollucks! Closer to home, some loon in Ohio also sells ants and blogs about them too. Ahnts: The Blog.
So profitable is this formic fetish that an illegal black market of ants exists to service these oddball collectors. Giant African harvester ant queens sell for $220, probably because they are "many people's dream species." Not my dream, maybe yours.
The next time your spouse complains about all the space taken up by your baseball cards, golf clubs, snow tires, CDs, or any other detritus you've accumulated over the years, tell them that you'll get rid of it all if you can start an ant collection.
rob's last post motivated me to post Nina Simone's version of House of the Rising Sun. The last 30-or-so seconds will remind you that she was a classically trained pianist who turned to jazz when she didn't get into Juilliard.
2. Inspiration from Professor G. Truck
Prof. Truck's recent post motivated me to tell you that many of the old Spider-Man cartoons from our childhood (the 1967 version) are available on Youtube. zdaughter is into Spider-Man and she likes to watch a video before bedtime and these short cartoons fit the bill perfectly. New ones go up and get taken down by whoever owns the copyright (Jack Urbont?)--until today they were all available in a playlist but now you have to scroll through them all. This one reminds me of a scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark.
3. Politicians crack me up
New Hampshire state Rep. James Spillane (no relation to Mickey) endorsed Donald Trump for president in 2024 but has suddenly switched to Ron DeSantis, stating “I can no longer continue endorsing former President Trump. I am officially withdrawing my endorsement, as his most recent attack on Kayleigh McEnany is beyond comprehension and explanation .... Against my deepest hopes that Trump had learned some measure of control, he has attacked those who have been his staunchest supporters with no regard for their loyalty."
Spillane further opined "The reason being that when I did endorse Trump I thought that he would be able to continue with a positive message, learn from his past mistakes and give us a way forward to continue the policies that he started before … But it’s become evident, especially with the latest attack on Kayleigh McEnany that there’s no loyalty in him.”
To be fair and balanced he added that "The people of NH, and the people of this nation, deserve messages of positivity and hope, not negative attacks and degradation as we have seen is the hallmark of the Biden administration."
Trump's "attack" on McEnany was his calling her a Milktoast (sic) RINO because she said Trump was 25 points ahead of DeSantis in the polls when he thought he was up 34 points.
So just to be clear, Spillane is fine with the coup and extorting Ukraine, but calling Kayleigh McEnany a Milktoast is a bridge too far for him. I guess we shouldn't be surprised given his history.
Also, Mike Pence joined Sons of Anarchy.
4. Texas cracks me up
Like the citizens in most red-leaning states, many Texans have been conditioned to believe that "The Government" is their enemy, coming to steal their "Freedom!" with malign "Regulations!".
Texans won't stand for that hooey. For example, Texas proudly deregulated their electricity utilities in 2002. Electrons need freedom too! That experiment didn't turn out exactly as expected, but Texans won't get fooled again by slick corporations and their externalities.
Or not. Elon Musk's Boring Company (boring because they dig tunnels, not because they're dull, get it?) broke ground in Bastrop County Texas and they're running roughshod. Or perhaps not, depending on your view of Freedom! and Regulations!.
A local organic farmer commented “Between Elon Musk coming in here and all the sand and gravel mines ... suddenly this bucolic, pastoral prime farmland is now more than a thousand acres of an industrial site. There’s no zoning, there are no rules. It’s the Wild West.”
The local county commissioner replied “This is Texas. This is called property rights. If you own the property and you stay within the state laws, you can pretty much do what you want.”
A local real estate agent perhaps summed up things best when he said “I love Elon, and we need more industry here. I just don’t want him to dump his poop in the river.”
If only The Government could protect the little guy's Freedom! from Musk's musky dung. Maybe with some Regulations!. Nah, that's awful stuff.
Colin Allred played in 32 games for the Tennessee Inbreds Titans from 2007 to 2010, recording 46 tackles, 0 sacks and 0 interceptions. Pro-football-reference.com gives him a career AV of 2.
His post-football career is more impressive. He got his JD at Berkeley then worked for Julian Castro at HUD. Now he represents Texas's 32nd district (Dallas and some suburbs) in the US House of Representatives. And he gives a great interview:
Now he's running to unseat Ted Cruz as the senator from Texas.
I’m running for U.S. Senate because Texans deserve a Senator whose team is Texas. Ted Cruz only cares about himself.
And he has a convincing pitch: Ted Cruz sucks. No one will arguewiththat.
Ted Cruz beat Beto O'Rourke by 215,000 votes despite the fact that Beto said he is in favor of taking guns from people which is the least Texan thing you can say. Seems to me that Allred only has to say "I played football at Baylor and in the NFL, and you can keep your guns" to pick up those necessary votes. What's more Texan than that?
I'll tell you what! During the January 6 riots, Allred texted his wife to tell her he loves her, then took off his jacket and tie and prepared to fight the mob with a stanchion. Ted Cruz retreated to a broom closet (and he wasn't pulling a Boris Becker, he was hiding). Eventually he came out of the closet and went to Cancun.
I've written about the wisdom of barbers before when, after getting a haircut in August 2020, I opined that covid-19 "will soon run its course, turning into nothing more than a relatively routine but life-threatening infection like measles. I predict this will happen around mid-October." I was maybe a year too early with that prediction but that's where I think we are.
I got a haircut on Friday at that same barbershop and when I walked in the older guy, Johnny Cap, was vigorously holding forth about the Fox News defamation suit. He read the texts and emails and was (and still is) livid that Fox reporters knowingly lied about election fraud. He was all-in on Trump until January 6, now he's all-out. After completing several tours of duty in the Middle East as a Marine mortarman, his son is now a National Guardsman and was deployed to the Capitol for something like two months after the riot. Suffice it to say that blood is thicker than spray-tan, and he's pissed that Trump and his supporters ginned up a bunch of nonsense that put his son in harm's way. Sort of like W and his supporters did--I sense a pattern here but that's something for a different post.
John is now of the view that you can't trust the news because it's all entertainment. He parenthetically carved out the local news from that conclusion, "but that's all car accidents and murders."
This is a long-winded way of saying that we've reached a tipping point. If Johnny Cap turned against Fox then a lot of other people have too. Fox is toast.
For the sake of completeness, you can review the Delaware (that's where Dominion sued Fox) civil pattern jury instructions here. I already did this so you don't have to. Here's what the jury will be told about defamation:
Defamation is a communication that tends to injure a person's "reputation" in the ordinary sense of that word; that is, some statement or action that diminishes the esteem, respect, goodwill, or confidence in which the person is held and tends to cause bad feelings or opinions about the person. Defamation necessarily involves the idea of disgrace. In this sense, a communication is defamatory if it tends to lower the person in the estimation of the community or if it deters third parties from associating or dealing with the person defamed.
But defamation occurs only when the defamatory information is communicated to someone other than the person to whom it refers. In the law, this is known as "publication."
Del. P.J.I. Civ. § 11.1. Dominion's reputation absolutely suffered based on Fox's coverage. I'm also willing to wager that a lot of municipalities don't want to do business with Dominion because (1) they believe that Dominion machines are rigged, or (2) they don't want to deal with constituents who believe that Dominion machines are rigged. Looks like defamation to me.
Here's how the jury will be instructed about "the truth" as a defense to defamation:
It is an absolute defense to a claim of defamation that the alleged defamatory statements were substantially true at the time the statements were made. Thus, even if you find that [defendant's name] made defamatory statements about [plaintiff's name] that proximately caused [him/her/it] injury, you cannot award damages if you find that the statements were substantially true.
The alleged defamatory statements don't have to be absolutely true for [defendant's name] to successfully assert this defense. Substantially true statements are not defamatory. To determine if a statement is substantially true, you must determine if the alleged defamation was no more damaging to [plaintiff's name]'s reputation than an absolutely true statement would have been. In other words, if the "gist" or "sting" of the allegedly defamatory statement produces the same effect in the mind of the recipient as the precise truth would have produced, then the statement is "substantially true" and you cannot award damages to [plaintiff's name] for the statement.
To prevail on this defense, [defendant's name] bears the burden of proving by a preponderance of the evidence that the alleged defamatory statements were true or substantially true.
Del. P.J.I. Civ. § 11.12. I think it's pretty clear that Dominion's voting machines did not flip votes to Biden; Hugo Chavez wasn't involved either. Chris Krebs told us that.
So what does Dominion have to prove to beat Fox? I think they qualify as a "public figure" so it's a relatively high bar:
[Plaintiff's name] has the burden of proving by a preponderance of the evidence facts necessary to establish each of the following elements of [his/her/its] claim:
(1)that [defendant's name] defamed [him/her/it];
(2)that [defendant's name] published the defamatory matter;
(3)that [defendant's name] intentionally or recklessly failed to determine the truth of the defamatory matter; and
(4)that the publication of the defamatory matter caused injury to [plaintiff's name].
Del. P.J.I. Civ. § 11.7. We established a defamatory statement above, that's element 1. And we have publication--Fox news said it over and over on TV, that's element 2.
For element 3, Fox knew these statements were untrue. For example, Sean Hannity said "that whole narrative that Sidney [Powell] was pushing. I did not believe it for one second." Dana Perino said this story was "total bs," "insane," and "nonsense;" much like most people, she also pondered "Where the hell did they even get this Venezuela tie to dominion? I mean wtf?" Even Rupert Murdock said "It’s been suggested our prime time three should independently or together say something like ‘the election is over and Joe Biden won,’” and that such a statement “would go a long way to stop the Trump myth that the election [was] stolen.”
As to injury, the fourth element, Dominion notes that "Where a defendant's statements are per se defamatory, the plaintiff need not prove damages to establish liability Instead, in per se defamation cases, 'injury is assumed.'" Celle v. Filipino Rep. Enterprises Inc., 209 F.3d 163, 179 (2d Cir. 2000). A statement is per se defamatory "if it (1) charges the plaintiff with a serious crime; [or] (2) tends to injure the plaintiff in her or his trade, business or profession." Kasavana v. Vela, 172 AD3d 1042, 1044 (2d Dept. 2019). I suspect Dominion can show that they lost contracts which would establish prong 2 (and damages). Election fraud is, of course, a serious crime. So we can check off element 4 as well.
Whether you go with a seat-of-the-pants/man-on-the-street hot take or a reasoned review of the legal standards, Fox is screwed. Fake news indeed.
Liked by: people who don’t have and can’t afford the aforementioned stuff
Disliked by: people who have the aforementioned stuff and don’t want to have to pay for other people to get it
Trump’s nickname if he gets the nomination: Bolshevik Bernie; Bernie Panders
How Trump will beat him: Trump will terrify many people with rants about socialism and communism and how Bernie will destroy the "big beautiful economy" Trump alleges to have built. Trump will run this video again and again and again:
Parenthetically, Bernie Sanders was 46 years old in 1988 yet he looked 78. We should all feel better about ourselves, or at least our appearances relative to middle-aged Bernie.
Trump will also yell words like "Sandinistas" and "Oretega" and "Castro" not only because Bernie backed them, but because it will tie him to Latin America and thus further enrage Trump's xenophobic base. Also, Putin will interfere on Trump’s behalf.
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The candidate: Pete Buttigieg
His campaign in a sentence: I am more intelligent and poised than your other options
Liked by: people who look at him and are reminded of the aloof but still likable valedictorian of their elite undergraduate university
Disliked by: people who did not go to an elite undergraduate university; people who went to an elite undergraduate university and did not find their aloof valedictorian to be likable
Trump’s nickname if he gets the nomination: Gayor Pete; some bad pun involving “Butt”
How Trump will beat him: This will be ugly. Trump unabashedly ran on racism and xenophobia in 2016. If Buttigieg gets the nomination Trump will expand his platform to include homophobia. Trump will say things like “Can you imagine this guy negotiating with Putin? Vlad would have his way with him! And you know what, Pete would like that!” Or “Kim Jong-Un would have Pete on his knees in seconds [waits a beat] and Pete is probably looking forward to it!” Buttigieg’s military service will carry no weight. GHW Bush, Bob Dole, John Kerry, and John McCain were all decorated combat veterans. All but Bush earned a Purple Heart. They also all lost presidential elections. No one cares about military service anymore. Also, Putin will interfere on Trump’s behalf.
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The candidate: Mike Bloomberg
His campaign in a sentence: I can beat Trump because I’m a New Yorker; also, I have $61 billion with which to bludgeon you into voting for me
Liked by: people who have been bludgeoned into submission by $61 billion worth of advertising; people from the New York area who work in the financial services industry; people who think it takes a thief to catch a thief
Disliked by: people who don’t want to see another egomaniacal New York billionaire with no real party affiliation buy the presidency; people who look at Bloomberg’s record of mistreating minorities and women and see a bizarro Trump
Trump’s nickname if he gets the nomination: Stop N Frisk Mike; Mikey NDA
How Trump will beat him: Trump will gaslight voters (again) into thinking that Bloomberg will be “a disaster” for minorities and women, while Trump will be their champion. Also, Putin will interfere on Trump’s behalf.
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The candidate: Joe Biden
His campaign in a sentence: I was Barack Obama’s VP!
Disliked by: people who look at Biden and see a very old man who may be in cognitive decline
Trump’s nickname if he gets the nomination: Dopey Joe, Slidin’ Biden
How Trump will beat him: Trump will gaslight voters (again) into thinking that Obama (and thus Biden) destroyed the economy while Trump unleashed it like the Kraken. Then he will sit back while Biden says and does stupid shit and shoots himself in the foot. Also, Putin will interfere on Trump’s behalf.
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The candidate: Amy Klobuchar
Her campaign in a sentence: I'm a nice midwesterner with a record of centrism and electability so you should like me, please please like me
Liked by: Does anyone really affirmatively like her?
Disliked by: Does anyone really affirmatively dislike her?
Trump’s nickname if she gets the nomination: Shaky Amy
How Trump will beat her: In an early debate zdaughter turned to me and asked about Klobuchar "Why is she so shaky?" It's a good question. Maybe she's nervous, maybe she has a neurological issue, maybe she uses too much hairspray. All I know is it's a weakness so apparent my 5-year-old saw it so Trump will pounce on it and exploit it for all it's worth. He will say a bunch of misogynistic stuff too. Also, Putin will interfere on Trump’s behalf.
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The candidate: Elizabeth Warren
Her campaign in a sentence: I have a pompous lecture for every issue
Trump’s nickname if she gets the nomination: Pocahontas, Lyin' Lizzie
How Trump will beat her: His answer to every debate question will be “She lied about her race to get ahead!” or he’ll just yell “Pocahontas!” over and over. Candidly I have no idea how Warren has skated on this issue for so long. I think it’s an egregious misrepresentation. Also, Putin will interfere on Trump’s behalf.
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You know who the best candidate was on paper?
The candidate: Cory Booker
What his campaign should have been in a sentence: I have an Ivy League degree and a Rhodes scholarship like Pete, mayoral experience like Pete and Mike and Bernie, senatorial experience like Joe and Bernie and Amy and Liz, a progressive record on guns and the environment, a pro-business record when it comes to the economy, a realistic healthcare plan, and I know how to relate to minority voters because I really am a minority; also, I played Pac-10 football, I'm dating Rosario Dawson, and Trump can't pull his "I'm more manly than you" bully bullshit with me because I'm bigger and stronger and much younger than him and I would absolutely fuck him up if he stepped to me.
Disliked by: I don't know anyone who affirmatively dislikes him
Trump’s nickname if he gets the nomination: Cory Crooker in an attempt to tie him to corruption in Newark
How Trump will beat him: He already did.
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Ultimately I really truly believe that Trump will lose in November no matter his opponent. Despite all my foregoing snark, I think that voters will be highly motivated in PA, WI, OH, and MI (which appear to be the only states that matter because they are the only ones that could go either way) and I have to imagine that they are picking up what the Democrats are putting down, namely lots of free stuff, income equality, a return to sanity and normalcy, etc. Trump ran on populism but it isn't clear to me that these four states are any better off than they were in 2016, and Bloomberg and Steyer will hopefully dip deeply into their fortunes to get the vote out. So keep your chins up!
As you likely know by now, President Trump (I shake my head every time I type that) picked Ronny Jackson to run the VA but Ronny had to bow out due to a penchant for drinking himself into a state of unconsciousness and giving out prescription drugs like candy--so much so that he was called the Candy Man around the White House. Some might say this sounds like something out of a frat house, while to others it's unprofessional and unethical. Either way, it sounds like Dr. Ronny fit right in with the crew in Trump's White House.
Who will DJ Trump tap next to head up the VA? I have a few predictions.
1. Ronnie Coleman
Ronnie Coleman sounds a lot like Ronnie Jackson so Trump might not even realize it's a different guy. Coleman was Mr. Olympia eight times in a row, so he's a real winner. Trump likes that. Coleman also broke Arnold Schwarzaneggar's record of seven consecutive Mr. Olympia titles. Trump probably likes that too--anyone who beats Schwarzaneggar in anything is okay in Trump's book. Coleman never served as an administrator in a hospital before, but I'm sure he served as an administrator of steroids in his keister. Coleman's best qualification, in my view, is that he served as the inspiration for an Action Bronson song.
2. Stoney Jackson
Stoney Jackson also sounds a lot like Ronny Jackson which makes him an easy choice for our fearless leader. Stoney Jackson is an actor you might remember from the Beat It video (I do not but I trust Wikipedia). Trump loved Michael Jackson so much that Jackson was the only person he and Ivana would let babysit their kids. I'm telling you, Trump's judgment is infallible. The more I learn about him the more I'm convinced that we are in wise hands. More importantly, as you can see from the photo at left, Stoney has one of the all-time-great Jheri curls. Trump admires a man who takes risks with his coiffure and owns the look no matter how insane it may be. Stoney has absolutely no government experience but he apparently works for some media company as a producer ... so he basically has the exact same background as Trump and the Trump presidency is turning out great! MAGA! Stoney MAGA! Stoney also played Jesse Mitchell on The White Shadow. I've never seen the show but I assume the title is a play on race, and no one loves to play on race like Trump. Stoney's best qualification is that he served as the inspiration for a Kool Keith song ("Stoney Jackson") and an entire Strong Arm Steady Album ("In Search Of Stoney Jackson"). Those are remarkably strong qualifications, certainly as strong as anyone else Trump nominated for anything so far.
3. Ben Carson
Shockingly, this might make sense, or it at least might pass for what is considered sensible since Election Day 2016. Trump knows who he is, which helps right off the bat. Carson spent the past 12 months running HUD, which might not be as big as the VA but it's still a major undertaking. So he has some legitimate administrative experience at the Secretary level. And he actually worked at one of the world's best hospitals--he was Director of Pediatric Neurosurgery at Johns Hopkins Hospital. Although he isn't actually a veteran, Dr. Carson repeatedly lied about getting into West Point. That's the kind of military service Donald Trump can get behind. Carson even has his own special handshake with Trump. This pick makes sense from all angles.
I don't follow sports much these days. I feel like I've seen the same story (or what is now called a "narrative") over and over. The huge rivalry, the huge underdog, the young lion reaching for some record, the old lion looking for one more title, the struggle for historical greatness, the pall of historical collapse. It just doesn't interest me much anymore. And the outcome of any event, no matter how "big," has no real impact on my life. Which is why I now watch politics as a form of sport.
So, on Saturday, instead of watching a bunch of young men half my age dunk basketballs in allegedly novel but actually derivative ways, I watched a bunch of middle-aged guys roughly 10% to 50% older than me debate political issues in actually novel but allegedly conservative (and thus allegedly derivative) ways. I concluded that politics and sports are essentially the same in that general truisms generally do not hold true.
For example, the NFL is allegedly an offensively driven game but teams with top defenses continue to play in and/or win the Super Bowl. Similarly, conventional wisdom says that small-market baseball teams can't do well, despite the fact that four of the last five World Series featured Kansas City or St. Louis (and mid-market Detroit was in the fifth). If we go back 10 years, small-market teams made the Series seven times (St. Louis thrice, KC twice, and Colorado and Tampa once each). So the things that sports pundits say often don't translate to on-field results. Simply put, things don't have to make sense in sports. That's why they play the games--to see who'll win.
Along the same lines, politics doesn't have to make sense. That's why they hold elections--to see who'll win.
For example, Mitt Romney was lambasted in the 2012 primaries (i.e., just four years ago) because he made a metric shitton of money at Bain Captial. Remember this photo?
Romney's success was viewed as a negative--he allegedly was such a ruthless businessman that he shouldn't be president. And remember when his wealth was crass?
By contrast, Trump voters choose him because he has a reputation for sharp business practices. A seemingly reasonable NH voter was shown on TV saying "You can't deny that Donald Trump is a successful businessman" as justification for his primary vote. Trump flaunts his four corporate bankruptcies as evidence of his business acumen, despite the fact that his creditors (i.e., people to whom he owed money such as vendors and employees) doubtlessly got screwed out of what he owed them. Remarkably, on Saturday Trump said he would close various loopholes of fraud and abuse in the welfare system. I guess it's ok for Trump to use a system to his advantage but others should not.
And according to my bankruptcy expert (zwoman), Trump abused the bankruptcy system by buying under-performing companies and immediately throwing them into chapter 11, thereby sticking his creditors and employees with the bulk of the companies' debts. Trump then got to reorganize the companies and have a fresh start.
Inconsistencies further abound with Trump. Two debates ago he said that Bill Clinton's infidelity was "fair game" against Hillary. Apparently she enabled Bill to take all those third-party beejays. Of course, Trump cheated on his first wife with Marla Maples, with whom he had a child out of wedlock but eventually married and then divorced, but not before mercilessly hitting on Princess Diana (with no luck). Trump, like Bill Clinton, is 69 years old. Trump's current wife is 45. Monica Lewinsky is 42. Make of that what you will.
Even weirder stuff happened on Saturday. While arguing about who has a more ruthless stance on deporting illegal Latin American immigrants, Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio, both sons of Latin American immigrants who at one time may or may not have had ruthless stances on deportation, devolved into a separate argument over their respective Spanish language skills. At one point Cruz actually started yelling at Rubio in Spanish. I don't know what he said, but I doubt that performance helped him much with voters who want to deport Spanish speakers (i.e., much of Cruz's base). I suspect we'll see that replayed in some slimy attack ad in the near future.
Also weird: the debate started with every candidate stating that President Obama should not nominate someone to the Supreme Court after Justice Scalia's death and thus advocating for some abridgment of the President's power despite the fact that (1) they are all running for President and (2) Article II, Section 2 of the United States Constitution says that the President "shall nominate, and by and with the advice and consent of the Senate, shall appoint ... judges of the Supreme Court ...." This was remarkably remarkable given that the candidates all praised Justice Scalia's originalism, textualism and conservatism. Jeb! even went so far as to say "Look, I'm an Article II guy but ..." thus acknowledging that this whole line of demagoguery runs counter to the text of the Constitution.
Yet also weird: previous presidential candidates like Howard Dean (the scream) and Joe Biden (multitudes) were deemed too unhinged and, well, unpresidential to be president. But on Saturday most of the candidates tried to put on the worst possible display of deportment they could manage. Even patrician Jeb! started getting gully. Kasich remained above the fray but he's still a goober.
Still weird: Trump committed apostasy by shredding a former President of his alleged party. I've never seen that before on either side. Sure, he was trying to use the transitive property to shit on Jeb! by shitting on W, but even mere transitive shits on party Presidents are verboten. This act of GOP treason allowed Jeb! to mount his high horse and ride it around the stage while highlighting his royal family in counterpoise to Trump's crassness. This further led to an alley-oop to Rubio, who managed to praise W without praising Jeb! while still shitting on Hillary, all in one sentence. It was great theater. Trump also called for W to be impeached despite the fact that W is no longer President and thus ineligible for impeachment. Later still, Jeb! admitted that W shouldn't have used eminent domain to build a stadium for the Texas Rangers. All in all a bad night for W.
Continued shitting weirdness: Trump also shat at Lindsey Graham, probably because Graham endorsed Jeb!. This makes less than zero sense in front of a South Carolina crowd, and they booed him. As usual he said that these booers were all Jeb!'s donors. Which makes sense, right? If you back Jeb! and someone attacks him, you boo the attacker. In Trump's (and Trump voters') bizarre view of the world, these Jeb! and Graham fans are "special interests" while Trump's crew is not. But why aren't they? Their interests appear to be separate and apart from other voters', so why aren't they "special"? I'll never get this.
Beyond weird: Obama was dismissed by the GOP in 2008 as too inexperienced to be President. He was "just a community organizer" with only three years of experience in the Senate and almost eight years in the Illinois State Senate, and that supposedly wasn't enough experience to be Commander-in-Chief. This GOP election cycle features two candidates who have never held elected office, 44-year old and 45-year-old Senators with five and three years of Senate experience respectively, a former two-term governor who hasn't held any office in nine years, and John Kasich. Three of the six do not hold an advanced degree. Only Rubio and Cruz have a J.D. Confusingly, the more novice candidates are touting their lack of political experience as an asset, and Republican voters are picking up what they're putting down. I have no explanation.
I convinced zwoman to watch the debate with me--it was an excuse to drink some of the awesome beer TR gave me and make snarky comments so she relented. She's one of the smartest people I know, an exceptional lawyer, a fun drunk, and a lover of booze and pointed wit. She hasn't followed the Republican race at all because no matter its outcome she'll vote for the Democrat. I had to explain who some of the candidates were and she still can't wrap her head around how Ben Carson got in the running, let alone got any votes, and this lead to a discussion about how the ability to separate conjoined twins can possibly translate to leading the free world.
After the debate ended she looked at me and said "That was a lot more fun that I thought it would be" which is also what she said after our first romantic interlude many years ago. She then added "I can't believe one of those buffoons is going to get a shot at being president!" I replied "Yes. The only people on that stage who weren't lying were Bush, Carson, and maybe Kasich. Carson is a dope and Kasich is a dork." To which she said "That's my impression too. I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I really hope Jeb[!] wins the nomination. Wait ... so we'll have another Clinton-Bush election?!? That's the best outcome?!? What just happened?!?!?"
Somewhere Mitt Romney is drinking a glass of warm milk and wondering where he screwed up. Election 2016 y'all!
I don't intend this to be a political commentary. If anyone can find a similarly goofy takedown of President Obama, I'm happy to post it as a response*. I just find Snoop entertaining, and find the notion of foreign journalists asking his opinion on U.S. politics even more so. Enjoy the Doggfather as he drops knowledge.
*Note that this is boilerplate language suggested by G:TB's legal staff and probably not an accurate statement.
Further proof that the end of the world is upon us: 59-year-old Illinois Senate Republican Leader ChristineRodagno name-checked Raekwon on the Senate floor, and then mistakenly attributed Method Man's chorus from C.R.E.A.M. as a source of inspiration to fix what ails Illinois' budgetary woes. ODB is spinning in his grave. And I feel really old as this is further proof that the Wu-Tang Clan is the musical equivalent of classic rock to today's 25-year-olds.
From time immemorial (give or take several thousand years), the Democratic Party has let its political opponents define it as soft. On terror, on defense, on immigration, on sleeping with interns, the donkeys have over and over again been branded as weak. And frankly, the last year hasn't brought much in the way of image rehabilitation, as the party with an overwhelming Congressional majority and the Presidency has managed to repeatedly let the other guys kick sand in its faces - even if the sand itself is made up of 98 parts fine-grain lunacy and 2 parts legitimate conservative principle.
That all started to change in September, when the author of this quote was released from Federal prison: "I will take with me a file, chisel and a knife. I'll try to get some major explosives to fight my way out. Then when I get out, I'll grab a sword like Maximus Meridius and as a gladiator, I'll stab people in the crotch."
Needless to say, we heartily approve. If our political system is going to be a circus, it may as well be a circus. Fraud, corruption, the world's most awesome hairpiece (described by one outlet as "a carpet remnant sewn from the fur of swamp rats, stapled to his head")? What's not to love? And truly, in an era where we've got Michele Bachmann, Jim Traficant's crazy might make Congress more sane.
I've directed Teejay to take the proceeds from our AdSense account and donate to Jim Traficant for Congress. It's the least we can do, for ourselves and for America.
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