The Eastern District of Virginia is a district within the federal court system with courthouses in Alexandria, Newport News, Norfolk, and Richmond. DJ Trump nominated Erik Siebert to be the US attorney for the Eastern District in May of 2025. Shortly thereafter, Siebert launched an investigation into New York Attorney General Letitia James--you may remember her from the fraud case against Trump that resulted in a $450 million verdict--but he was unable to find any wrongdoing. Naturally, Trump pressured Siebert to press charges against her anyway. Trump opined that "It looks to me like she is very guilty of something, but I really don't know." That's the leader of the free world, by the way.
Shortly thereafter, Trump decided to fire him but Siebert withdrew his nomination before he could be fired. When explaining why he wanted to fire Siebert, Trump said "When I saw that he got approved by those two men, I said, pull it, because he can't be any good. When I learned that they voted for him, I said, I don't really want him." So it had nothing to do with Letitia James.
"Those two men" are Senators Tim Kaine and Mark Warner. I know this because Trump later bleated on Truth Social "Today I withdrew the Nomination of Erik Siebert as U.S. Attorney for the Eastern District of Virginia, when I was informed that he received the UNUSUALLY STRONG support of the two absolutely terrible, sleazebag Democrat Senators, from the Great State of Virginia. Next time let him go in as a Democrat, not a Republican."
This makes sense to me. But this also means Trump has a lot of housecleaning to do because Kaine and Warner voted for a bunch of other people Trump nominated. Like Marco Rubio, Doug Burgum, Scott Bessent, John Ratcliffe, and Sean Duffy (really?). He better get to work replacing those untrustworthy RINOS! Unless, of course, he really wanted to fire Siebert because Siebert wouldn't press charges against James. But Trump couldn't really be thatcorrupt and petty, couldhe?
I haven't posted anything in a long time and I don't have anything particular cogent to say, although I've seen a few interesting pieces of political news recently.
First, the New York Times and other major media outlets reported that a parasitic worm ate a portion of RFK Jr.'s brain and then died there. Lest you assert "this is lamestream media bias against the antivaxx crowd!!" I direct you to the portion of the article that quotes deposition testimony given by RFK Jr. in which he said that doctors determined than an abnormality seen in his brain scan "was caused by a worm that got into my brain and ate a portion of it and then died." More succinctly, he testified under oath that he had a dead worm in his brain. He further testified "I have cognitive problems, clearly," and "I have short-term memory loss, and I have longer-term memory loss that affects me." In response to the article, RFK Jr. twat (xeeted?) "I offer to eat 5 more brain worms and still beat President Trump and President Biden in a debate." So he admits the whole worm thing. And he had mercury poisoning too, which also doesn't bode well for his overall health or his cognition.
Apparently you get worms in your brain by eating undercooked pork, which can carry tapeworms. Typically the tapeworm larvae wind up in your intestines but sometimes they get lost and wind up in your brain.
Once there, they eat your brain but I guess that isn't what they're supposed to nosh on so they die and your body naturally walls them off, forming cysts. Like this.
Just to be clear, you don't want that. All this tapeworm talk reminds me of Irvine Welsh's novel Filth which is partially narrated by the main character's tapeworm. I've been reading more of his stuff lately (once I get used to reading in a Scottish accent I keep going so I don't have to reacclimatize) and it's all good. My two favorite recent passages are "I was differently made: at his age I had testicles as vicious and hairy as the heads of two ferrets" (from Dead Men's Trousers) and "Terry gave thanks for all those years of excessive beer-drinking and takeaways. Without them he would have fallen to certain death. A lesser man, body honed on exercise and diet rather than sloth, indolence and abuse would be dead by now, he reflected. A lesser man." (from Glue).
Second, Donald Trump is running his reelection campaign like a goddamned gangster. And I don't mean "gangster" euphemistically, I mean it literally. He has family all over "this thing of ours." First he installed his daughter-in-law, Lara Trump, as co-chair of the RNC. This makes it easier for him to divert super PAC money to his pay legal bills. Second, he plans on making Uday and Qusay Donald Trump Jr. and Eric Trump "loyalty czars" in his next administration. This means he will only appoint and hire people who pledge complete fealty to DJ Trump. Third, he got 18-year-old Barron Trump named as an at-large delegate for Florida in the Republican national convention.
What do all of these people have in common? They're family, which means they will always be loyal. You can never lose your family.
Finally, Trump's Veepstakes competition is well underway. All sorts of seemingly important people are willing to debase themselves on national television for a shot at being on the ticket. Kristi Noem shot her way out of contention, but there's still plenty of chatter around JD Vance, Marco Rubio, Doug Burgum, and Tim Scott. Like I said in 2016, "he's running his campaign on some next-level reality TV competition three-steps-ahead shit." So it won't be any of those jackals.
Trump needs to win this thing to stay out of jail, and he needs to stay in office for the full four years so he can run again in 2028. There's only one way out of office once he's in (assuming the Big Macs don't get him in his sleep). He's clearly unimpeachable--he literally staged a coup and suffered no consequences in the Senate. All he has to worry about is section 4 of the 25th Amendment, which says in part:
Whenever the Vice President and a majority of either the principal officers of the executive departments or of such other body as Congress may by law provide, transmit to the President pro tempore of the Senate and the Speaker of the House of Representatives their written declaration that the President is unable to discharge the powers and duties of his office, the Vice President shall immediately assume the powers and duties of the office as Acting President.
The key here is that the 25th Amendment can only be triggered if the VP signs on. In order to boot the Prez, you need the Veep. There is absolutely positively no fucking way in hell that Donald Trump is going to give anyone the opportunity to shiv him in the back unless that person is a rock-solid reliable supplicant. And that has to be family. Maybe Tomax or Xamot Junior or Eric, but they're both morons and The Don knows it. I think that means Ivanka, Jared, or Kimberly Guilfoyle.
You're probably saying "No way! No one go for want this!" to which I reply "Oh really?" Think about all the shit DJ Trump pulled over the past 77 years. You think the people who are willing to tolerate that won't tolerate some nepotism on the bottom of the ticket?
According to a recent paper in the World Journal of Men's Health, "The average erect penis length has increased over the past three decades across the world. Given the significant implications, attention to potential causes should be investigated." And it increased significantly: "After adjusting for geographic region, subject age, and subject population; erect penile length increased 24% over the past 29 years." That's a lot of dick growth! To draw this conclusion, the authors searched "the literature" for "studies that evaluated penile size. Search terms included: 'Penile Length' OR ('Width' OR 'Circumference' OR 'Dimension') AND ('Erect' OR 'Flaccid' OR 'Stretched')." I suspect "the literature" was stuff I've covered here previously. Anyway, this is proof that career options abound for Genital Studies majors.
Also in the news: 50 Cent's dick. Fiddy sued a spa/plastic surgery center for posting a photo of him with the owner in a manner that suggested he received penis enlargement services. He also sued a gossip blog for perpetuating the rumor. He settled with the blog but the dick-measuring contest litigation with the spa continues.
Also in the news: Dick Van Dyke appeared on Masked Singer as a gnome.
Then he busted out Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious and even did a little jig at the end. Pretty impressive when you realize he's 97.
Also impressive: Dick's wife is 50. He picked her up at the 2007 Screen Actors Guild Awards (back when he was 81 and she was 35) by spitting serious game--he said "Hi, I'm Dick."
And no bag of dicks would be complete without a Trump in it. DJ Trump has a hot new joint out called "Justice for All" in which his hot fire verses are interspersed with singing by the J6 Prison Choir. I am completely not making this up, the former President of the United States of America made a song with a bunch of jailed insurrectionists. Apparently the inmates were recorded over the phone (in case you were wondering about the logistics of getting a recording studio into a prison). Positioned as a "charity song," managed by Kash Patel and Ed Henry, "[f]unds are slated to go to an LLC run by Henry, who will then disperse the profits. Recipients will be vetted to make sure proceeds do not benefit families of people who assaulted a police officer." A master class in dickishness, unbounded dickery if you will--it dicks around with democracy, decency, the rule of law, even Metallica gets dicked in this story. Here's the song. Just be warned that watching it will probably contribute a fraction of a cent to some dickhead insurrectionist or directly to DJ Trump (which I guess is the same thing).
On Thursday, July 21, 2022, the U.S. House of Representatives passed H.R.8373, which is titled "To protect a person's ability to access contraceptives and to engage in contraception, and to protect a health care provider's ability to provide contraceptives, contraception, and information related to contraception."
The text of the bill isn't available yet, but the Times reports that the bill will "ensure access to contraception nationwide, moving over almost unanimous Republican opposition to protect a right that is regarded as newly under threat after the Supreme Court’s overturning of Roe v. Wade." The Times also says that "The measure passed 228 to 195, with eight Republicans joining Democrats in support." Predictably, those eight are Liz Cheney, Nancy Mace, Fred Upton, Anthony Gonzalez, John Katko, Brian Fitzpatrick, Maria Salazar, and Adam Kinzinger.
So 195 of the 213 House Republicans don't think there should be a federal right to contraception, which means it should be "up to the states to decide." That's nuts.
I'm willing to bet we've all used contraception at least once in our lives because we either did not want to become pregnant or to impregnate someone else. Contraception prevents unwanted pregnancies which in turn prevents abortions. Why would anti-abortion Republicans oppose it? Perhaps they don't just oppose abortions. Perhaps they oppose recreational sex, or sex between unmarried people. Which I find ironic, given their leader's ... shall we say ... reliability with the ladies.
What other source of law would oppose recreational sex, or sex between unmarried people? Oh, how about Islamic law! Wikipedia says that under Islamic law there are "two categories of legal, sexual relationships: between husband and wife, and between a man and his concubine. All other sexual relationships are considered zināʾ (fornication), including adultery and homosexuality, according to Islamic law and exegesis of the Qur'an."
I remember a time when conservatives detested Islamic law. Hannity, Judge Jeanine, and Tucker must be apoplectic! How did all these RINOs infiltrate the House Republican caucus?! Fast forward to 4:45 so the pretty blonde lady can "help you understand how you feel" on this issue.
A few post ideas bubbled up in my meager brain but I never got around to writing them and/or I didn't know what to write so I'm doing another round of zman bouillabaise, which is like b-boy bouillabaisse but not as good.
1. Jacques Tits died.
Here's the introductory paragraph for Jacques Tits's Wikipedia entry: "Jacques Tits (French: [tits]) (12 August 1930 – 5 December 2021) was a Belgian-born French mathematician who worked on group theory and incidence geometry. He introduced Tits buildings, the Tits alternative, the Tits group, and the Tits metric."
What more needs to be said?
2. The Large Hadron Collider lives.
CERN shut down the LHC in 2018 but it's up and running again. I don't understand a goddam thing in that link and this is rob's corner anyway. Just keep an eye out for Armageddon.
3. The Supreme Court missed the forest for the trees in N.Y. State Rifle & Pistol.
In his opinion holding that "New York’s proper-cause requirement violates the Fourteenth Amendment by preventing law-abiding citizens with ordinary self-defense needs from exercising their Second Amendment right to keep and bear arms in public for self-defense," Justice Alito said:
Does the dissent think that laws like New York’s prevent or deter such atrocities? Will a person bent on carrying out a mass shooting be stopped if he knows that it is illegal to carry a handgun outside the home? And how does the dissent account for the fact that one of the mass shootings near the top of its list took place in Buffalo? The New York law at issue in this case obviously did not stop that perpetrator.
He's correct. There is probably no way to prevent criminally insane or evil people from committing mass shootings other than confiscating all guns. But there is some value in trying to limit the amount of shootings that occur, mass or individual. By that I mean, I don't want to live in a society where everyone around me could be armed at all times. I don't want to worry that if I bump into someone at a bar they will shoot me because they are drunk and angry that I spilled their beer; or that if I get into a car accident the other person will put a gun in my face in a fit of road rage; or that I will be shot accidentally because some random doesn't know how to carry a gun properly.
Making it harder for people to carry guns outside the house limits the likelihood that this will happen. The punishment for carrying without a permit is harsh in NY--just ask Plaxico Burress. He went to jail for 22 months after accidentally shooting himself in the leg in a nightclub while carrying a pistol without a permit. By contrast, Michael Vick went to jail for about 18 months for his dogfighting ring, while Donte Stallworth went to jail for 30 days killing a man while driving drunk.
We can argue about the proportionality of these punishments compared to the respective crimes, but we can all agree that we are glad we weren't standing next to Plaxico when he accidentally fired his gun that night, and his punishment hopefully deterred a lot of other people from carrying a gun. Yes, he was carrying illegally, while this decision is about the limitations a state may place on how to obtain a permit to carry legally. But I think his story counsels against carrying in general and in favor of serious limitations on who, what, where, why, when and how carrying should be allowed.
That's why New York's "proper cause" requirement for a concealed carry permit made sense and should have been upheld.
4. Any debate whether Trump acted up in the limo or threw a Big Mac misses the forest for the trees.
I don't care if Trump grabbed for the steering wheel or his security guard's neck. I don't care if he threw a plateful of McDonald's finest meats and cheeses and ketchup at the wall. He riled up an armed mob and told them to go to the Capitol to "fight like hell." They took him literally and he wanted them to. Five people died as a direct result, and at least two killed themselves afterwards. What more needs to be said?
5. WFMU continues to deliver.
I should do another zShazams post but if I do I won't be able to include "Modern Diseases" by Fifth Column because I can't find it on Spotify. It isn't on YouTube either so I can't even make a Notify contribution! You can listen to it on the WMFU playlist site. Here's a Fifth Column song that you can find on YouTube:
Apparently they were "a Canadian all-female post-punk band from Toronto, formed in the early 1980s." You too can find nifty stuff on WFMU.org and it's free to stream.
I do not have enough pejorative words in my vocabulary to properly express my feelings about the rioting/sedition/insurrection at the Capitol on January 6. But to be clear, people have a right to peacefully protest the results of an election. Crossing into violence and destruction is what really raises my ire, especially when aimed at interrupting or preventing those election results from taking effect.
I found some symbolic irony in the granular details of January 6. I'll try to be as Gheorghe as possible about them.
1. Gadsden flag
The Gadsden flag was designed by Christopher Gadsden during the American Revoluion. It's a yellow field with a coiled timber rattlesnake above the standard DON'T TREAD ON ME. You've seen it before, you know what it means, and you know the type of folks who like to fly it.
And I'm cool with it. I'm not a libertarian or small government conservative but I know people who are and they hold principled views. I suspect that some people like to fly it as a symbol to intimidate their fellow citizens. I think this distorts the message.
Roseanne Boyland was one of a plurality of people who brought a Gadsden flag with them to the Capitol. She died there, trampled by the crowd rushing into the building. I won't dwell on the obvious irony. The less obvious aspect is, however, worth unpacking.
Ms. Boyland went to a protest to exercise her First Amendment right to free speech with like- or at least similar-minded people. She was so passionate about her views that she brought a centuries-old banner to help express them. Many others at the gathering were at least as passionate, so much so that they stripped Ms. Boyland of her right to live. This stretches the exercise of individual liberty to its breaking point.
2. Zachary Taylor
The Capitol building contains lots of precious art including a bust of Zachary Taylor. Someone defaced it with a blood-like substance.
Taylor only held office for 16 months because he died from dysentery after eating too much raw fruit and milk. He was also the last president to own slaves. He is not highly regarded by historians. Taken together, he is not the most impressive man to lead the executive branch. But he was still president! What type of red-blooded American patriot (or Patriot in Trumpspeak) would use fake red blood to deface a potent American symbol like this? Especially while acting to save our country?
But hey, at least they didn't drop to one knee when the National Anthem came on. That's inexcusable.
3. Stop the steal
One of Trump's themes against the 2020 election is "Stop the Steal." His protesters paradoxically stole stuff from the Capitol, like a photo of the Dalai Lama. Trump supporter and Florida Man Adam Johnson stole a lectern from the Capitol. Apparently he tried to sell it on eBay. Here he is mugging for the camera while mugging the Capitol and then mugging for a mugshot:
Stop the steal indeed.
4. Back the Blue
The rioters fought hand-to-hand with Capitol Police including officer Brian Sicknick who died after being hit in the head with a fire extinguisher. According to the AP, "'We backed you guys in the summer,' one protester screamed at three officers backed against a door by dozens of men screaming for them to get out of their way. 'When the whole country hated you, we had your back!'"
The protester thus seemed to realize the irony in his actions. If I learned anything from this protest, it is that the MAGAverse has an inordinate fondness for flags.
If you google around you'll find many analyses of the various flags flying at the protest and it isn't all nice. I noticed a lot of Back the Blue flags while watching in real time. Those are the black-and-white American flags with one blue line in the middle underlining the field of stars. An example flies along the left side of the photo above (right above the Gadsen flag above the befuddling Canadian flag). You've probably seen them around, like on my old neighbor's Volvo SUV. I thought it was a well-intentioned symbol of support for the police but apparently it's also a symbol of white nationalism. I don't know if it can be considered a support for police of color.
This is a long-winded way of saying that a bunch of people carrying pro-police flags beat a (white) cop to death with a fire extinguisher. Back the Blue indeed.
5. Putting it all together
It's pretty clear that these MAGA rioter have no respect for each other, our nation's history, public property, or those sworn to protect us all. Despite lots of high-minded talk they have no unifying theory of anything beyond DJ Trump. That's it. One charismatic man can grab hold of this group of millions and make them do whatever he wants. Imagine if he told them to volunteer at the Boys and Girls Club, or donate to the local food bank, or to foster abused dogs, or to go to school to learn more job skills or some history or how to write poetry or anything to simply improve themselves. Imagine if we could find another charismatic man to grab this group by the short and curlies and get them to channel all of their energy into something positive? We all know where this is going. There's really only one person who could turn this around. Only one symbol who embodies what this country needs right now.
As you likely know by now, President Trump (I shake my head every time I type that) picked Ronny Jackson to run the VA but Ronny had to bow out due to a penchant for drinking himself into a state of unconsciousness and giving out prescription drugs like candy--so much so that he was called the Candy Man around the White House. Some might say this sounds like something out of a frat house, while to others it's unprofessional and unethical. Either way, it sounds like Dr. Ronny fit right in with the crew in Trump's White House.
Who will DJ Trump tap next to head up the VA? I have a few predictions.
1. Ronnie Coleman
Ronnie Coleman sounds a lot like Ronnie Jackson so Trump might not even realize it's a different guy. Coleman was Mr. Olympia eight times in a row, so he's a real winner. Trump likes that. Coleman also broke Arnold Schwarzaneggar's record of seven consecutive Mr. Olympia titles. Trump probably likes that too--anyone who beats Schwarzaneggar in anything is okay in Trump's book. Coleman never served as an administrator in a hospital before, but I'm sure he served as an administrator of steroids in his keister. Coleman's best qualification, in my view, is that he served as the inspiration for an Action Bronson song.
2. Stoney Jackson
Stoney Jackson also sounds a lot like Ronny Jackson which makes him an easy choice for our fearless leader. Stoney Jackson is an actor you might remember from the Beat It video (I do not but I trust Wikipedia). Trump loved Michael Jackson so much that Jackson was the only person he and Ivana would let babysit their kids. I'm telling you, Trump's judgment is infallible. The more I learn about him the more I'm convinced that we are in wise hands. More importantly, as you can see from the photo at left, Stoney has one of the all-time-great Jheri curls. Trump admires a man who takes risks with his coiffure and owns the look no matter how insane it may be. Stoney has absolutely no government experience but he apparently works for some media company as a producer ... so he basically has the exact same background as Trump and the Trump presidency is turning out great! MAGA! Stoney MAGA! Stoney also played Jesse Mitchell on The White Shadow. I've never seen the show but I assume the title is a play on race, and no one loves to play on race like Trump. Stoney's best qualification is that he served as the inspiration for a Kool Keith song ("Stoney Jackson") and an entire Strong Arm Steady Album ("In Search Of Stoney Jackson"). Those are remarkably strong qualifications, certainly as strong as anyone else Trump nominated for anything so far.
3. Ben Carson
Shockingly, this might make sense, or it at least might pass for what is considered sensible since Election Day 2016. Trump knows who he is, which helps right off the bat. Carson spent the past 12 months running HUD, which might not be as big as the VA but it's still a major undertaking. So he has some legitimate administrative experience at the Secretary level. And he actually worked at one of the world's best hospitals--he was Director of Pediatric Neurosurgery at Johns Hopkins Hospital. Although he isn't actually a veteran, Dr. Carson repeatedly lied about getting into West Point. That's the kind of military service Donald Trump can get behind. Carson even has his own special handshake with Trump. This pick makes sense from all angles.
John Cena is a big deal professional wrestler and a lesser deal actor. He's also a big time car guy. In fact he has a 2017 Ford GT in Liquid Blue with 20" forged aluminum graphite wheels (with black lug nuts), silver brake calipers, a "Dark Energy" interior theme, exposed exterior carbon fiber finished in Gloss Shadow Black, and a leather wrapped steering wheel.
These cars are really hard to get--Cena had to apply to buy his (which cost $460,000!) and he was selected out of thousands of applicants for the right to buy this exquisite machine because Ford deemed him to be an "influencer[] and ambassador[] of the vehicle and the Ford brand ...." I know this because Ford sued Cena in federal district court for selling his 2017 Ford GT.
Part of the application to buy the GT said "If you are selected as a Selected Applicant, there is no guarantee that you will be offered an opportunity to purchase a GT, because the terms of any purchase are subject to mutual agreement by the pertinent seller and the prospective buyer." So if Cena can't reach a deal with his local dealer, no GT.
After Cena was selected, he had to sign an "Affidavit of Eligibility and Release" which stated in part "each seller of a GT will have the right to condition the sale on the purchaser's agreement to restrictions on resale or transfer of the GT ...."
Then, when Cena reached agreement with Elder Ford in Tampa, he signed an order confirmation which stated in part "You understand that being selected for the opportunity to purchase this vehicle is non-transferable and agree not to sell the vehicle within the first 24 months of delivery."
Cena took delivery around September 23, 2017. He sold it some time on or before October 20, 2017. Even if you aren't great at math you can probably see that this time period is less than 24 months. In fact it's less than one month.
As a result, Ford sued for breach of contract, fraud, silent fraud, innocent misrepresentation, and unjust enrichment. And they might have a legitimate case for some of those claims, but I'm not sure how they will establish their damages. Have they really been harmed? Is the GT's image really better off with Cena owning the car than whomever he sold it to? Who would choose a pro wrestler as an ambassador anyway? Oh, right ...
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