De La Soul is not Dead

 De La Soul is not dead.  In fact, they have a new song featuring Pharoahe Monch, Talib Kweli, Styles P and Chuck D.  Enjoy.

Christmas Came Early for Mark

Sotheby's is hosting a hiphop auction.  This is possibly the least hiphop thing ever but there's so much cool stuff I won't hate.  For example, they have Slick Rick's eye patch:

They have Prince Paul's drum machine:

They have Fab 5 Freddy's MTV ring:

They even have Biggie's crown:

I can afford none of that.  There are a handful of things I could theoretically afford and that are dope to quite dope, like this Beastie Boys concert poster:

Or these flyers:

Or this De La Soul album cover study which is already out of reach:

Or this Tommy Boy neon sign which is also now out of reach:

Perhaps the coolest item for sale is this 125th street subway sign:

I encourage you to take a spin through the lots, there's plenty of fun stuff to see.

Music Documentary Project: Early June Update

I've taken my foot off the gas a bit lately, similar to how G:TB was a well-oiled, postcounting machine in the early days of pandemic quarantining and has recently let up. If you can go outside and live, do so.

I also watched some non-music-documentary television.  It can get a tad monotonous to go from music doc to music doc, even if you alternate genres, styles, and approaches as I have tried to do. And so, I pivoted to:

The Last Dance - (Yes, another documentary. So what, I like 'em!) I watched every moment of the MJ saga.  Compelling as all get-out. He is who we thought he was, but moreso. More amazing, more complete as a player. more of a jackass as a teammate or competitor. To me, the most gripping moments were (a) those that demonstrated that he, as any sane person would, hates the 100%-all-the-time fan-clamor and hides out in a hotel room or his house; and (b) the moment he was presented with the suggestion that in order to be the best player/champion he had had to sacrifice being a "good guy," and that thought brought tears, a hasty explanation, and his demanding a break in the recording. It's better when Superman's a human after all.

Letterkenny - I binge-watched several seasons of this preposterous Canadian show (available on on Hulu,annoyingly). Hilarious and addictive, if ultimately a bit redundant. The scene where the guys are playing catch and Squirrelly Dan uncomfortably introduces the subject of his lady friend and her interest in the "butts-stuff" had me laughing heartily. A hard yes.

Seaver - I stumbled upon a one-hour Tom Seaver documentary on the MLB network. I'm an obvious sucker for the content, but there was plenty new to me, especially the unfortunate epilogue of Alzheimer's and his retreat from public life last year. Tom Terrific was the best Met there was, despite the franchise booting it majorly several times over.

Anyway, I have also made time for more music absorption.  Back to the quest...

ReMastered: Devil at the Crossroads (2019) -- This was a tidy, little Netflix piece on the pioneer bluesman Robert Johnson and the generations of intrigue that have surrounded his eerily quick rise from kid with a guitar he couldn't much play to blues god. The story is well-presented and frankly sells itself -- selling one's soul to the Devil for talent.  And then there's his death at age 27. And the fact that (until last month) there were only two photographs ever taken of the man. When I lived across the way from Dave in the fraternity house, he bought a box set of Robert Johnson. I didn't know who the dude was. Turns out many a blues riff and/or style of playing -- which begat many a rock and roll riff and style of playing -- is attributed to one man. At 48 minutes, check it out.

Hip-Hop Evolution (Season 1) -- This is my shit. Z and I have served and rallied here before with old school and older school, but Season 1 of HHE is the jack from way back. Loved it. Planning to continue to dig in on the series and learn lots more along the way.

History of the Eagles (2013) -- Far, far away on the music spectrum from Kurtis Blow and DJ Run, you have Don Henley and Glenn Frey. I like the Eagles nearly as much as the next guy, and there's much to learn and enjoy here. It ultimately devolves into a soap opera, mostly between Frey and Don Felder. And here I thought Don Henley was the douche. But there are cool tidbits like footage of Henley and Frey as up-and-comers in the backing band for Linda Ronstadt, and anything Joe Walsh does is fairly fascinating. Enjoyed it.

The Beastie Boys Story (2020) -- I knew this would be great. I read several unflattering reviews (Pitchfork, AV Club) that called it "no fun." I still knew it would be great. I hadn't heard any of my friends raving about it. I still knew it'd be great.  And... it's great. I feel like I'm the perfect age to be a Beastie Boys fan. When LTI hit, I was a high-school juvenile delinquent Class Clown. As we've written here ad nauseum, when Paul's Boutique launched to crickets, were were jumping around the room heralding what must be a worldwide hit -- college is the perfect time to be exposed to experimentally dope new shit. CYH was a tiny bit more grown up, and we were nearly graduating (well, rob and Dave were). The "Sabotage" video broke and we were early 20's goofballs with jobs. By the time the three bad brothers were starting getting real respect (especially for albums gone by), we were older and commanding more respect than we had a right to. Still clowns, like the B-Boys, of course.  This doc has it all, despite shlocky reviewer's cranky demands for surprises and mayhem. MCA is missed majorly and given a highly fitting tribute.  It's great. Check it out.

The Van Halen Story: The Early Years (2003) -- This low-budget, straight to video obscurity piece was just entertaining enough. Spoiler alert: they paid for the rights to zero VH songs, so you won't hear any. Made me go straight to Spotify after and call up my faves. Also, they only rehash interviews with the band, nothing new -- but lots I hadn't seen. They do get lots of stories from roadies, security, and friends from coming up.  Which is at times better than the sanitized version of wild tales you get from aged rockers. (Eagles, for example.)  "Ed" and "Al" haaaaate "Roth." That's for damn sure. Almost as much as they hate "Dancing in the Street." This one entertained mildly for what it was.

We Jam Econo: The Story Of The Minutemen (2005) -- I loved this one. A long while back, a friend introduced me to The Minutemen. My first reaction was a recoil. Over decades, as I have dug in squarely on punk rock, I have come to love this kind of avant-garde punk. The Minutemen were not hardcore, they were honestly a step-and-a-half from Random Idiots, they were punk with a conscience, and they were beautiful. The documentary, exactly like the band, is pretty lo-fi. And it's solid. The lament of losing D. Boon so many years ago hits home, almost against all likelihood. This ain't no picnic, indeed.

loudQUIETloud: A Film About the Pixies (2006) -- I was late to the game on the Pixies. My first wife was a fan during their 1987-1991 existence, and I learned to love their stuff through her influence soon thereafter. Too late, of course.  But they then regrouped in 2004, and we saw them at Constitution Hall in DC. Hell yes. This is a weird doc -- it isn't a retrospective, it's a behind-the-scenes look at the 2004/5 tour I mentioned. They'd reunited after 13 years, and interactions are awkward and yet uncontroversial, and there are excellent clips of songs from these shows but otherwise just some backstage banter that does not enthrall. Plus Black Francis with his shirt off.

It was very interesting to watch the Pixies one after The Minutemen. D. Boon and Mike Watt met with they were 13, and they were best friends until the end. They'd fight some, but like brothers. Loved one another. The four people in the Pixies met via a classified ad. They weren't friends and still aren't. They don't hate each other, but they were a great band the same way a successful small business often operates -- it was a job. They regrouped for money, clearly. It's almost deflating to fans, but hell, it's always about the music more than anything, and the music was and is exceptional to many of us.


I'll keep watching and conveying the highlights.  18 down thus far.  Suggestions and feedback welcomed.

30 Years of Fear

Public Enemy released their masterpiece "Fear of a Black Planet" 30 years ago today. This makes me feel very old, and like posting some of the tracks that still hold up.

"Brothers Gonna Work it Out" and "Welcome to the Terrordome" still bang. Some of the hardest conscious hiphop ever.





I stupidly put this song on a Unit M party mix one time. The Burg wasn't ready for it.



I've said it before and I'll say it again: The Chemical Brothers, Prodigy and the rest of those late-90's electronic were just ripping off PE. They owe The Bomb Squad at least half of all the money they made.



I think "Fight the Power" is a little played out but it cannot be ignored when talking about "Fear of a Black Planet." The intro to this version is still relevant today, unfortunately.

More zman Bouilliabaisse

1. Ron Weasley is a gangster

The kid who played Ron Weasley in the Harry Potter movies now plays a gangster in the TV show “Snatch.” It’s extremely loosely based on the movie “Snatch”—many grimy Britons, a little boxing, and lots of crime. It’s ultimately a comedy though, so all the capers go pear-shaped and the main characters are constantly scrambling to avoid getting nicked by the polis or turned over by bigger sharks. It’s a fun 47 minute diversion from reality. Sony’s American subsidiary produces the show so no one’s accent is so thick that you need subtitles to decipher what they’re saying. You can stream it for free on Crackle.



2. Go Ahead in the Rain

I’m trying to read more this year so I read “Go Ahead in the Rain” by Hanif Abdurraqib. It’s a short and well-written read about A Tribe Called Quest, their music and their impact on the author’s life. Sometimes it’s an album review, sometimes it’s a history lesson. Other times it’s an autobiography, cultural commentary on the meaning of everything. Perhaps most uniquely, in a few places it’s letters written directly to individual band members. It won’t change your life but I recommend it if you like Tribe, hiphop, music, or good writing.



3. Another playlist for Connell

Abdurraqib drops tons of 1990’s music references in his book, so much so that I became motivated to dig through the crates and put together another playlist for Connell. I told Connell I would do this last summer but I didn’t because I’m simultaneously lazy and overworked. But here it is, better late than never. Rather than go “bangin old school” I went “smoothed-out old school.” Enjoy.

Let’s Ride
Honeydips in Gotham
Who Got Da Props
Jive Talk
Fortified Live
After Hours
Passing Me By
Memory Lane
Straighten It Out
Just the Two of Us
Funky Lemonade
Buddy
Form of Intellect
Ya Know How it Goes
Where I’m From
40 Acres and My Props
The Truth

Don Ameche is not one of these amici but they are impressive nonetheless, Alternatively Titled “I Shot the Sheriff but I did not Shoot the Deputy”

Jamal Knox was sentenced to two years in prison for performing a rap song that was his take on N.W.A.'s "Fuck tha Police." The Pennsylvania Supreme Court upheld the sentence. Apparently he mentioned two specific police officers by name in the song, and they previously arrested him on drug charges. They alleged that the song was a "terroristic threat" and thus not protected by the First Amendment. Mr. Knox appealed this matter to the Supreme Court of the United States.

I know this because Erik Neilson, a professor at the University of Richmond, and Michael Render, one half of Run the Jewels (aka Killer Mike) filed an amicus brief in support of Mr. Knox. It opens with:

Additional amici include musical artists Chancelor Bennett (“Chance the Rapper”), Robert Rihmeek Williams (“Meek Mill”), Mario Mims (“Yo Gotti”), Joseph Antonio Cartagena (“Fat Joe”), Donnie Lewis (“Mad Skillz”), Shéyaa Bin Abraham Joseph (“21 Savage”), Jasiri Oronde Smith (“Jasiri X”), David Styles (“Styles P”), Simon Tam (member of The Slants and petitioner in Matal v. Tam, 137 S. Ct. 1744 (2017)), and Luther R. Campbell (member of 2 Live Crew and petitioner in Campbell v. Acuff-Rose Music, Inc., 510 U.S. 569 (1994)), as well as music industry representatives Alan Light (former Editor-in-Chief, Vibe and Spin magazines), Dina LaPolt, Patrick Corcoran, Peter Lewit, and the entertainment company Roc Nation, LLC.

Further amici include scholars Michelle Alexander (Union Theological Seminary), Jody D. Armour (University of Southern California Gould School of Law), Paul Butler (Georgetown Law), Andrea L. Dennis (University of Georgia School of Law), Murray Forman (Northeastern University), Kyra Gaunt (University at Albany, SUNY), Lily E. Hirsch (California State University, Bakersfield), Robin D.G. Kelley (UCLA), Walter Kimbrough (Dillard University), Rev. Emmett G. Price, III, (Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary), and Eithne Quinn (The University of Manchester).

For the record, Quinn Emanuel represents Killer Mike, Chance the Rapper, Meek Mill, Yo Gotti, Fat Joe, 21 Savage, Styles P, Luke Skyywalker, and the guy from The Slants who made it into one of my trademark-related comments. That shit cray!



It only gets better. You can read it here, and you should. But if you're too lazy here's the point: old white people, particularly racist old white people, don't understand that hiphop music is a lot of bragging and boasting (addressed here previously, see point four), fictional story telling, spinning of good old-fashioned yarns. It isn't real. Oddly, old white people seem to understand this in other forms of music. As Ice-T said, "I ain't never killed no cop .... If you believe I'm a cop killer, you believe David Bowie is an astronaut."

The Quinn Emanuel folks gave a pretty pointed take:

Additionally, the song is replete with lyrics that defy a literal interpretation. For instance, the lyrics refer to heavy artillery, enough to “shake the motherfuckin’ streets,” and mention all of the “soldiers” in the Ghetto Superstar Committee. Id. at 3a-4a. Neither Knox nor Beasley has served in the military or ever possessed street-shaking heavy artillery. (And neither has served on a committee of superstars, ghetto or otherwise.) The lyrics repeatedly refer to the rappers’ “riches,” id. at 3a, yet Knox lived in public housing and Beasley was represented by a court-appointed attorney. The song threatens to turn the Highland Park area of Pittsburgh into Jurassic Park, but neither rapper was found to have recreated dinosaurs. Id. at 4a.

And what about the lyric “you taking money away from Beaz and all my shit away from me / well your shift over at three / and I’m gonna fuck up where you sleep”? Id. This was singled out by the Pennsylvania Supreme Court as evidence that the rappers had actually learned when the officers’ shifts began and ended. But nothing in the record indicates that either officer’s shift ended at 3:00.

A quick scan of the lyrics reveals a much more likely reason for the reference to “three.” It rhymes.

Yes. Yes it does.

The brief also presents some pretty remarkable psychological studies involving country and hiphop music. I won't ruin it for you, read the brief because it's really well laid out. I will say, however, that shooting a man in Reno just to watch him die, or positing that you can't hang a man for shooting a woman who was trying to steal his horse, is some pretty gangster country (Gangstabilly?) shit. Country music is full of murder ballads! But no one wants to lock up Lyle Lovett.

For what it's worth, I'm stunned that 30 years after N.W.A. released "Fuck tha Police" with the line "when I'm finished, it's gonna be a bloodbath of cops dyin' in L.A." someone else is in jail for singing a different song with the same title and similar anti-police lyrics. I guess the moral of the story is to stay out of Pennsylvania. I'll keep you posted on how this develops.

via GIPHY

I wonder what they're saying.

You've probably seen the video of Kate McKinnon rapping in Hungarian on The Tonight Show. I'm not gonna lie--I'm impressed. That said, I think Animal Cannibals deserve a lot more shine than they're getting as the creators this song, which is called Yozsefváros.



These guys are great! They sampled "UFO" by ESG and "Synthetic Substitution" by Melvin Bliss. Ghostface relied on that same sample five years later in what is probably my favorite GFK song.

And they seem like fun guys to hang out with. At 1:03 they're peeing in public. At 1:17 they're petting a horse. At 1:22 they have a weiner dog in a sweater. At 2:09 they look like extras from the Sabotage video. At 2:23 they have a sheep. At 2:24 they shake hands with Csecsei Bela, mayor of Budapest and owner of a fantastic Hungarian mustache.

I wish I spoke Hungarian so I could understand what the hell they're saying!

Stuff You Slept On, Alternatively Titled "layzman's filler" -- zman Edition

You should check out "Done by the Forces of Nature" by The Jungle Brothers. Perhaps the coolest thing I ever did as social chair was put "Feelin' Alright" on a party mix--a bunch of Thetasfrom southwestern Virginia wearing pearl earrings and cardigans spontaneously started dancing to it even though they didn't know the song at all. One of them even went "Alright!" when she heard the singer go "Woo-oo-oooooo-oo-oo" at the beginning of the song. That's how good it is.



1989 was a banner year for influential albums: "Three Feet High and Rising" came out in March 1989, followed by "Paul's Boutique" in July, then "Done by the Forces of Nature" in November. All three, in my humble opinion, influenced the way people sample. For example:



And this:



It makes you wanna freaky-deaky, right?



Although the album was produced by DJ Red Alert, an East Coast stalwart, you can hear the West Coast influence in songs like "'U' Make Me Sweat," which sounds like early Dr. Dre:



You can also hear how this song sounds like "Belly Dancin' Dina," albeit much angrier:



The album also features a number of conscious Afrocentric songs like "Acknowledge Your Own History."



If you're just going to download one song, and, like Connell, you like your hiphop bangin, I suggest this:



Despite having 16 outstanding tracks, no one ever talks about this album, let alone listens to it. You can change this. Get the album now and rock it at your next BBQ--no swearing, no racial epithets, some sexual innuendo but it's oblique enough that prudes won't get it. How can you have a bad time when this is going on in the background?

Judge Nathan Is Still Dope, Likes to Party and Bullshit

Judge Alison Nathan is staking a claim to the title of most hiphop jurist. Much like MC Shan she is down by law. The last time G:TB checked in with Judge Nathan was when she let the Beastie Boys off the hook on a copyright infringement claim. Once again (back is the incredible!) Judge Nathan decided a case involving a hiphop legend arising under 17 U.S.C. §§ 101 et seq.

Abiodun Oyewole wrote a song called "When the Revolution Comes" in 1968 and released it as a member of the group The Last Poets.



Around 2:10 the song goes "But until then you know and I know n****s will party and bullshit and party and bullshit and party and bullshit and party and bullshit and party ...." Fans of hiphop might recognize this from Biggie Smalls's song "Party and Bullshit."



Even if you don't recognize it, Mr. Oyewole did and he sued Biggie's estate. Mo money mo problems indeed! While he was at it he sued Rita Ora too because her song "How We Do (Party") also starts with the lines "party and bullshit."



Mr. Oyewole is aggrieved by both songs's use of the phrase "party and bullshit" from an IP perspective but also from a political perspective. According to his complaint, Biggie and Rita Ora used the phrase "party and bullshit" "in contravention" of Mr. Oyewole's original purpose, which was to "encourage[e] people to NOT waste time with 'party and bullshit."

Unfortunately for Mr. Oyewole, he hired what appears to be the worst lawyer admitted to the Southern District of New York. Seriously--she spelled her name wrong at least once in her online bio. If your lawyer can't spell her name correctly you can't expect her to lawyer correctly. Predictably, Biggie and Rita Ora (and the other big-time defendants including EMI and a Sony affiliate) won. In some cases, brutally.

For example, Kobalt Music and Downtown Music won under FRCP 12(b)(5), which is insufficient service of process. I've never seen this before. To prevent your case from being dismissed under Rule 12(b)(5), you just have to download the summons form and serve it with your complaint on the defendant. The form includes blanks for the name of the court, the names of the plaintiffs and defedants, the name and address of the plaintiff's attorney, and a place where you get the clerk of the court to sign it when you file the complaint. Somehow or other, Mr. Oyewale's attorney didn't fill out the blanks for some of the summonses. She also used some jackass process server who didn't serve the summonses on people authorized to receive service, like an officer or director of the company or their registered agent. It is stunning. Yet another reason why you shouldn't use a lawyer with a gmail address.

Judge Nathan dismissed the claims against the other defendants as fair use, turning the complaint against Mr. Oyewole because it alleged that Biggie and Rita Ora used the phrase "party and bullshit" "in contravention" of Mr. Oyewole's original purpose, which was to "encourage[e] people to NOT waste time with 'party and bullshit." Thus he admitted that their use was transformative and therefore constituted fair use. Again, really bad lawyering.

More remarkably, the 21 page opinion uses the word "bullshit" 60 times. That's almost three bullshits per page! It also uses the N word three times, exclusively while quoting lyrics, and with the final letters of the word replaced with asterisks. I think this shows good judgment--failure to do so would've been bullshit. Puns!

THE KING ADD ROCK

Too busy to spend the time reading and listening to GTB-recommended hip-hop posts and playlists like this and this?

Too ADD to allocate 39 minutes for Raising Hell, 48 minutes for The Low End Theory, or a whopping 79 minutes for To Pimp a Butterfly?

No worries!  Check this out.

Kurtis Blow is wondering who he pissed off.

Tell your mother tell your father send a telegram, Phife Dawg left us with one more bangin jam

As you may have read previously, Phife was working on a new album at the time of his death. I don't know if it will ever be released in its entirety, but the single "Nutshell" appeared on the internet yesterday. It features a beat by J Dilla, who died over 10 years ago. That my favorite hiphop song of 2016 features the work of two dead artists probably says something about the evolution (or lack of evolution) of my musical tastes. I think the brief interviews framing the song were recorded at a memorial event, while the "thank you" notes at the end were written by Phife. Here it is.

Sophomor(ic) Effort(s)

Grantland recently ran an article listing various editors' favorite second albums from hiphop acts. I don't have a problem with any of the selections, mainly because Steve Hyden had the good sense to include The Low End Theory--any such list without this album would be suspect. I do, however, think they missed a number of obvious choices, and so does Mark. So here are our thoughts on this completely unimportant matter.

zman

Public Enemy, It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back

A seminal album in hiphop. I've never heard anyone say it's overrated. If you like music and have broad musical tastes, you probably already own this CD.



Jungle Brothers, Done by the Forces of Nature

One of my all-time personal favorites. I've never heard anyone say it's overrated, mainly because most people have never listened to it. You should. It's fantastic. The Jungle Brothers were sort of a proto-De La Soul/Tribe group, founding members of the Native Tongues posse.



Boogie Down Productions, By All Means Necessary

BDP invented gangsta rap with their first album Criminal Minded. They then pivoted to the then-burgeoning "conscious rap" genre with By All Means Necessary. KRS-ONE's verses are almost 20 years old yet they're still culturally relevant. This is also Scott LaRock's last album; he was killed before it was completed.



Ghostface Killah, Supreme Clientele

GFK's second solo album, although he appeared on multiple albums with the entire Wu-Tang Clan and as a guest on other WTC members' solo albums. I can't say enough good things about Supreme Clientele, and I've said plenty about it here already.




Mark

Outkast, ATLiens

You could make the case that Outkast are the greatest group in hip hop history. In fact, I would make that case if this were a different post. After the success of their debut, "Southernplayalisticadillacmuzik", Outkast reemerged three years later a much different duo from when we saw them last. Somewhat older, much wiser and no long content to simply opine on the drugs, guns, women and violence they encountered in their Southwest Atlanta neighborhood. The sound of Oukast would continually evolve in the coming years but ATLiens was the our first clue as to where they were headed. The video from the first single, "Elevators" left no choice but to take notice of the beginning of this evolution.



Redman, Dare iz a Darkside

New Jersey's Reggie Noble followed up his gold debut album, "Whut? Thee Album" with this effort. Though once again largely produced by mentor Erick Sermon, this album was more driven by Redman's unique personality and gave listeners a deeper look into his strange, smoked out mind. Certain songs like "Cosmic Slop" and "Can't Wait" are highlights, but the whole album holds up well to this day and reminds listeners of what a lyrical force Redman was before he began making movies and hanging out with Method Man.



Whitney

Beastie Boys, Paul's Boutique

I got back to college headed into sophomore year (Coincidentally.) I moved into the fraternity house suite. I went upstairs to find Dave and Rob's room, already messy. One of the very first things out of Dave's mouth in that conversation was, "Hey, the Beastie Boys have a new album. I have the CD." I had loved LTI in high school, but like everybody else, I wondered what came next.

We put it on and listened to it, and again and again. The three bad brothers you know so well (this time Dave, Rob, and myself) got a bunch of Mickey's Big Mouths, cut ourselves opening them, and listened to Paul's Boutique on repeat. We read and learned the lyrics. We picked favorite tracks (mine: "Looking Down the Barrel of a Gun"). We heard Dave get philosophical about the omnipresence of dairy foods and wax on the record. These songs weren't quite like anything we had heard, and I had taken in a lot of rap from ages 13-18. Unlike many, many other albums, it never got old. Ever.

Dave's high school hoodlum buddies came down to Williamsburg, and we drank cheap swill and bugged out to Paul's Boutique. We introduced other fratres to it; some passed on it, others like Fitz caught the bug. It dominated our music soundscape for quite a while.  A few years later someone in the house had a copy of Spin magazine (crap). It had a list of top 10 Underrated Albums. Paul's Boutique was on it, as was Sandinista! -- I thought to myself, huh, those two were most of my listening sophomore year.  We never realized Paul's Boutique was underrated and a commercial disappointment because we lived in a total and utter vacuum in college.  To us, it was the greatest, and everybody knew it.  25 years later, everyone does.

Jay, Where's the Beat?

Sucker MC's who did not learn, if you don't this time, they shall return.

For all you old school and older school fans, last Sunday DJ Run and the Devastating Mic Controller got onstage for the first time in over a decade in London.  There it is.

Run wore an Adidas sweatsuit.  Natch.

DMC wore . . . a Grateful Dead Steal Your Face t-shirt.  Of course.

The show was a tribute to their fallen mate and big beat blaster, king of the crossfader Jam-Master Jay.  Jay's 2002 murder is still unsolved, and Rex Kramer's not coming through that door to remedy that any time soon.

Today would have been Jay's 50th birthday.  Get a little of the best DJ in the US of A.

So when asked who's the best, y'all should say: Run-D.M.C. and Jam Master Jay.

And like all fairy tales end, you'll see Jay again, my friend.

Is Your Name Michael Diamond?

No, mine's Clarence.

Dave ensured that the giving season of Gheorghemas didn't close on December 31.  In the same vein, here's a little post-holidays gift in the Zman style with some Clarence aged cheese to it.  Some time ago, Zman laid a "bangin' old-school hiphop playlist" on us, and I listened eagerly.  And though it was good stuff, the one recurring thought that puzzled and disappointed me was this: Old school?  This is way later than my old school shit.

But I shut up, needing not reinforce the painfully obvious fact that Rob and I = Statler and Waldorf.

In December, Zman commented a link to a historical list of hip-hop through the years.  Now it's time for me to make the mixtape, wrap it up, and send it to you guys old style USPS.

Here's my older school playlist, and it may not be bangin', but there's some serious scratchin' and cross-fadin' and bass-kickin'.  Let me take you back to Norfolk, Virginia, when a very white boy attending private school would tune into the "Top 10 at 10" every night on WOWI 103 to hear the latest rap offerings.  Yep, the beats lacked the complexity of what was produced just a handful of years later.  The samples, when there are any at all, are straightforward and pedestrian by latter-day standards.  Certain songs are ridiculously sparse . . . a man and a beat box (sometimes a buman one) in some cases.  I now know what it must be like for Beatlemaniacs or people my dad's age who cling loyally to The Kingsmen as real rock and roll.  It's old, almost silly, but it's what I dig.

And this is all from a guy for whom Paul's Boutique will probably forever remain the pinnacle.  No matter, here's what I listened to (among other things) during my formative years.  Cutting this off arbitrarily at my high school graduation date.

Kick off your shoes . . .

1. UTFO, "Roxanne, Roxanne"
The most-played for a very long time.  The Kangol Kid, EMD, and Doctor Ice battle for a cold-hearted girl's affections.  Accept no substitutes, meaning the bullshit rip-off comebacks like "Roxanne's Revenge" and "The Real Roxanne." Mix Master Ice's scratching keeps it fresh.  Not sure why UTFO (a) was a one-hitter or (b) struck such a chord with me with this number, but it's a classic.
Lyric to listen for: EMD's -ary rhyming fiesta.  Enjoyable.
1984

2. Grandmaster Flash and The Furious Five, "The Message"
The original fly dressers, lots of leather plus nerdy clothes that somehow looked street. I don't know any rapper of merit who doesn't credit these cats for shaping the sound in some way.  Low on braggadocio, high on tales of urban plight.  Down by law. Check out "New York New York" for a similar . . . uh, message.  Skip over "Scorpio"; the dudes merely learned how to talk like a robot through a keyboard, and 10 seconds in, you've heard it all.
Lyric to listen for: Now you're unemployed, all non-void / Walking 'round like you're Pretty Boy Floyd -- kind of reminds me of Say Anything.
1982

3. Whodini, "Friends"
For one album (Escape), Whodini was incredibly solid.  Before and after it, they were oddly worthless.  They didn't scratch up the record, and their songs were pretty old school sparse.
Lyric to listen for: Couldn't trust her with cheese let alone your keys.
1984 

4. Rock Master Scott and the Dynamic Three, "Request Line"
Love this one.  Such 1980's cheese, and one of the only hip-hop songs to feature a DJ -- meaning a radio disc jockey pretending to be on air.  Charlie Prince, MBG, and Slick Rick . . . nope, not that Slick Rick.  This was the original. And don't forget The Scott with something all scratched up for you.  And the phone ringing.  Love it.
Lyric to listen for: Late in the tune, The Dynamic Three all delivering a rap . . . at the same time, over each other so you can't decipher any lines.  Stupidly brilliant.
1985

5. Kurtis Blow, "A.J. Scratch"

I'm a Kurtis Blow fan.  He was funky fresh from way back; "The Breaks" predated most all of hip-hop.  To me, Run-D.M.C. took the beats from across 100th street into my room (a place theretofore full of Zenyatta Mondatta and Diver Down), but there were a few acts that set the stage for Reverend Run and DMC to do that.  Mister Kurtis Blow was one, even as he tips his cap to those dudes here.
Lyric to listen for: That's right, y'all, his name is A.J.  (You know why.)
1984

6. LL Cool J, "Rock the Bells"
The rocking rap exudes Rick Rubin and DefJam.  It's got some "Hold It Now, Hit It" and "Time to Get Ill" linkage and it presages My Adidas's backbeat, but it's vintage LL all the way.  I heard "I Need a Beat" on the radio first.  S'allright.  Then "I Can't Live Without My Radio."  Way better.  Then this.  Hell yes. Rock the bells.
Lyric to listen for: 'Cause it ain't the glory days with Bruce Springsteen / I'm not a virgin so I know I'll make Madonna scream / You hated Michael and Prince all the way, ever since / If their beats were made of meat, then they would have to be mince
1985

7. Run-D.M.C., "King of Rock"
This one's for the Teedge.  There is no list of this kind without heavy doses of Run, D, and Jay, so here's a start.  Played on the Irish Times jukebox most every happy hour of the early 2000's, and every time it makes me happy. Larry "Bud" Melman appears in the video.
Lyric to listen for: It's not a Trick or Treat and it's not a April Fool / It's all brand new, never ever old school . . . whoops.
1985


8. Fat Boys, "Can You Feel It"
The Fat Boys are funny.  Fat people are kind of funny to start with. (Class clown right here.)  Add some wild clothes and a guy who makes drum beat noises with his throat, and it's comical.  By the time the Fat Boys were making bad movies and music with Chubby Checker and (yep) The Beach Boys, they were a joke.  But this song was on their first album, when they were just fat guys rapping and making fun of their size.  There aren't jokes in this one.  It's my favorite of theirs.
Lyric to listen for: Anything the Human Beat Box says/does
1984

9. Divine Sounds, "What People Do For Money"
Another one-off act, another streetwise cautionary tale.  Very derivative.  Eh, I dig it.
Lyric to listen for: The oft-cut last verse, the one about three-card molly (sic) with the bleeped out F-word.
1984

10. Whodini, "Big Mouth"

This song came out the year prior to "You Talk Too Much," covering much the same ground.  Both are worth a spin.
Lyric to listen for: You could say what you want, just spell my name right / ‘Cause all I’m ever guilty of is rockin’ the house / But that’s not what the rumor was all about
1984 

11. Doug E. Fresh and The Get Fresh Crew, "The Show"
This is a weird one.  Good scratching, some beat boxing, the debut of (the more famous) Slick Rick.  Some Inspector Gadget keyboards.  Some strange noises and random percussion.  Crowd noise.  And not a ton of actual rhyme-turning.  But it's what we listened to in 1985.
Lyric to listen for: Anything Slick Rick drops.  His British-ish accent, much like his eyepatch, is real even though it seems fake.  His story is intriguing.  His rhymes are mildly dope.
1985

12. LL Cool J, "I'm Bad"
LL's debut was heralded and his follow-up was somewhat dissed, but I always dug this one.  It's perfect 80's stereotypical rap -- a dude with a mic boasting about all-world amazing he is with the ladies' love, beating up suckers, savoir-faire around town, and especially putting rhyme to beat.  "The baddest rapper in the history of rap itself." From a 19-year-old.  Eh, it was pretty damn good.
Lyric to listen for: Forget Oreos, eat Cool J cookies.  If this sounded bad-ass when I was in high school, it doesn't now, but LL managed to pull it off.
1987

13. Beastie Boys, "Rhymin and Stealin"
Licensed to Ill was beloved by many a goofy, beer-drinking high schooler.  I was one, too.  The album is an all-the-way-through listen that probably sounds tame now, but it was nearly counterculture in the lame school scene at the time.  Jim Belushi and (RIP) Alex Karras weren't the only white guys that could rap.  "Fight For Your Right" had the video and everyone loves it, but there's a reason this song led off the record.
Lyric to listen for: Ali Baba and the forty thieves.  By the second and third time uttered, it's dull.  By the eighth time, shouted at full tilt, you want to leave your feet.
1986

14. Newcleus, "Jam On It"

Clocking in at eight minutes, this was predictably one-hit, since it reeked of novelty: chipmunky pitch-shifted voices (no offense, Dave), Sugarhill-mimicking MCing, and wiki wiki wiki.  But it's a one-hit keeper.
Lyric to listen for: Go crazy / Go crazy / Don't let your body be lazy / I say don't stop your body rock / Til your eyesight starts to get hazy. For whatever reason, certain lyrics stick with you.  When people speak the phrase "go crazy" in everyday conversation, all too often I break into Chilly B. To almost zero recognition.
1985

15. Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five, "White Lines (Don't Do It)"
Another bongo and bass-laden GMF/Furious 5/Melle Mel/whoever gem.  You have to wonder how many idiots did cocaine in the 1980's while listening to this tune. 
Lyric to listen for: Baby.  Mentioned more times than in "Baby Love." Get higher, baby.
1983

16. Kurtis Blow, "Basketball"
Yep, this one is Kurtis Blow's cheesiest, goofiest, and most popular rap offering.  It's very 1984, and the only thing more dated than its style and mentioning Ralph Sampson is the video.  Wow.  I think I still have the 45.  (Kids, Google it.) I just listened to this song for the first time in many, many years.  Love it.
Lyric to listen for: All of them.  Dropping rhymes about Bernard King, the pick and roll, and saying "Face" to people.  Ah, yes, basketball. It's all there.
1984

17. Fat Boys, "Stick 'Em"
I definitely had this one on 45.  It's sick.  There seems to be just a single note of instrumentation in this song, albeit repeated and scratched up a bit.  Every other bit of it is Prince Markie Dee, Kool Rock-Ski, and tons and tons of the Human Beat Box.  Probably his finest hour.  This was the B-side to "Jailhouse Rap," another fine entree from the Boys.
Lyric to listen for: The first 30 seconds worth of HBB crushing it.  You guessed it, the Fat Boys are back.
1984

18. Run-D.M.C., "Rock Box"
Unbelievably good.  I always feel like whether a song "holds up" is in the ear of the beholder, but to me, this number is still rolled tight as shit.  The other guitar-playing Eddie (Martinez) wails away for five minutes of rap turned rock, Run is sharp as a nail, and Darryl Mac is a wizard of a word.
Lyric to listen for: Calvin Klein's no friend of mine / Don't want nobody's name on my behind / Lee on my legs, sneakers on my feet / D by my side and Jay with the beat.  Isn't Lee somebody's name?  This has puzzled me for nearly 30 years.
1984

19. Rob Base & DJ E-Z Rock, "It Takes Two"
By 1988, hip-hop was pretty poppy.  Run-DMC gets the crossover credit/blame because of "Walk This Way," but from straight rap to R&B/dance pop went The Fresh Prince, Tone Loc, Young MC, and many more. (And somewhere in there funk-meister Cameo's hip-hoppy "Word Up" had a whole lot of honkies paying attention to the R&B charts for the first time since disco, if not Motown.)  Short-lived act MC Rob Base & DJ E-Z Rock, however, hit the pop charts with some fairly old school sounding rap.
Lyric to listen for: I'm not internationally known / But I'm known to rock the microphone.
1988

20. Kool Moe Dee, "How Ya Like Me Now"

NOT VERY MUCH

I never really liked Moe Dee, I just included this to talk about the feud.  I think tiffs between musicians are awesome, mostly because they're really moronic.  Blur vs. Oasis, Metallica vs. Megadeth, Dandy Warhols vs. Brian Jonestown Massacre, Ryan Adams pretending to have one with the 97's, and, of course, Tupac vs. Biggie.  Kool Moe Dee versus LL Cool J.  It was pointless, but in an industry where people's bread and butter could be ragging on sucker MC's, you'd have to figure they'd point out who they meant now and again.  Kool Moe Dee always struck me as the Karl Malone of rappers.  Stiff, overly self-serious, and not a champion.
Lyric to listen for: Brothers are riding me / Like a pony / I'm no phony / I'm the only / real micaroni. Ugh.
1987

21. LL Cool J, "Going Back to Cali"
I guess this was why the "feud" was mostly on Kool Moe Dee's mind.  LL was too busy taking 'em to spots they never before hung.  Hey Moe . . . hmmm, I don't think so.
Lyric to listen for: I asked her to the barn, so we could hit the hay / I wanna do this, Brutus, but I don't wanna pay.
1987

22. Public Enemy, "Don't Believe the Hype"
Holy crap.  This was a horse of a different . . . uh . . I didn't say color.  PE came along and scared me out of my pleated khakis. Despite Flav's court jester rendition, Chuck D was spouting some serious street Gospel.  That was about the time this white boy realized that there was a bit of irony to my urban musical dabblings.  Soon after this, with N.W.A. taking it even further, I fairly well retreated to the cozy company of the three bad brothers you know so well.  But Public Enemy is still fantastic.
Lyric to listen for: Show these people what time it is, boyyyyy.  Flavor Flav at his least ridiculous, ridiculously.
1988

23. Run-D.M.C., "Raising Hell"
Make no mistake, these dudes were/are my favorite of the era, and I could have played "Hard Times," "Jam-Master Jay," "It's Like That," "Can You Rock It Like This," "Peter Piper," or "Son of Byford" without missing a beat.  (Not to mention "Christmas in Hollis.")  But this selection is an unappreciated rocker of a hip-hop ass-kicker by the Kings from Queens, and it's one of their best.
Lyric to listen for: So what's your name? DMC, the king is me / Your Highness or His Majesty / Now you can debate, c-c-c-concentrate / But you can't imitate / DMC The Great.  It's true.  Even DMC can't imitate himself these days, since his voice is shot . . . listen and it's no wonder why.
1986

24. Eric B. and Rakim, "I Know You Got Soul"
Okay, this one is totally bogus.  I never listened to them in the 80's.  I listened to and loved "Pump Up the Volume" by M|A|R|R|S, whose predominant lyric was lifted from "I Know You Got Soul."  So lame, but it was fun.  And years later, I got Paid in Full and really dig it now.  Ahead of its time for sure.  Wish I had been.
Lyric to listen for: So you sit by the radio, hand on the dial soon / As you hear it, pump up the volume. Of course.
1987

25. The Sugar Hill Gang, "Rapper's Delight"

Oh, well. It's still fun.
Lyric to listen for: Hotel, motel Holiday Inn / If your girl starts acting up, then you take her friend.
1979

Okay then.  There's your Older School jam, as remembered fondly by Clarence.  Have fun with it, homeboys and homegirls.

These Quakers kill it.

My college classmates frequently criticized hiphop by noting that "they don't play any instruments, all they do is sample." Whether music sounds good has nothing to do with how it is generated, at least to my untrained ears, but this limited the amount of music I could play while hanging out "Heavy Rhyme Experience Vol. 1" and a few Pharcyde songs.

I suspect that most G:TB readers have come around to appreciate hiphop's lyrical and sonic virtuosity. For those of you who still think that music is only good if it is the result of someone using an instrument, I present Quakers, a 35-person collective produced by three different people, two of whom are associated with Portishead. Their new song "Fitta Happier" features Guilty Simpson, Teedge's favorite MC.



Act like you know.

Mixtape Redux

I recently unveiled a bangin' old school hiphop mixtape as requested by Dave's friend Connell. Upon further review, I may have misunderstood the assignment. I think he asked for a playlist of old school bangin' hiphop, which is an entirely different curational undertaking.

Here's a playlist of songs about bangin'. Most are hiphop, all have an old school vibe. None are particularly safe for work.

Track 1
Track 2 (This one's for Mark.)
Track 3
Track 4 (Girls in NJ circa 1992 liked this song. Girls in VA circa 1993, not so much.)
Track 5 (I couldn't find this on yootoob, hopefully this doesn't screw things up.)
Track 6
Track 7 (This is more of a love song but it makes the cut as a prelude to Track 8.)
Track 8 (Completely NSFW. This hood.)
Track 9
Track 10
Track 11 (The official video so too bleeped out to be understandable.)
Track 12
Track 13 (Everyone at W&M mocked me for loving this album but c'mon, tell me this isn't dope as hell. Not even you staid rhythmless DMB-loving Virginians can resist this jam. I bet you're wiggling your hips right now. Like this:
)

This project was harder than I thought it would be, as bangin' is a very popular topic in hiphop music. I could have made a playlist based entirely on, for example, sex-related De La Soul songs. Instead I diversified things to expand your horizons.

You can throw any of these songs on during a drunken late-night event (assuming you still attend them) and really get the freaky deaky started. Email me for a link to Spotify.

ICYMI: The making of a great compilation tape, like breaking up, is hard to do

I miss cassettes. In particular I miss mixtapes. You don't know what's on there until you take a listen. And there's something nerdily pleasurable about giving someone an unlabeled mixtape to expand their musical horizons.

There are rules to this process.



It's nigh impossible to be surprised by music nowadays. My iPod not only tells me the name of the song, album, and artist, it tells me the number of minutes and seconds that have played and that remain and even shows the album artwork! If I put a CD in my computer I get most of the same information. My CD player only gives me track number and time outputs, although fancier ones can tell you about the artist and song. Hell, even my car tells me the name of the song and artist playing on FM stations.

When Dave's friend asked me to put together a "bangin' old-school hiphop playlist" during a recent chili-themed minisummit, I felt competing pangs of joy (someone recognizes the superiority of my musical taste!) and pain (there will be no suspense over which to drape my superior musical taste!). Sunshine and rain, if you will. Simply put, I could list some song titles here and call it a day. But it's entirely possible, nay, probable, that you will simply look at the list and poo-poo it, or not listen to any of it because you're familiar with the tracks. There likely is a way to combine a bunch of songs into one MP3 with no track breaks, but I don't know how to do that.

So I'm doing this:

Track 1 (I really consider this part of Track 2)
Track 2
Track 3
Track 4
Track 5 (best cellphone ever!)
Track 6
Track 7
Track 8 (this is all yootoob has?!)
Track 9
Track 10
Track 11
Track 12
Track 13

Everything except for track 8 is 19+ years old and all these songs are bangin', so I believe I accomplished the assignment (i.e., I created a bangin' old school hiphop playlist). If you email me I'll send you a Spotify link. Enjoy.