And I do love a good margarita, on the rocks, with salt. Los Tios here in my hometown makes a mean and very large version, and the pandemic loosened a lot of ABC laws, so we can get them to go. Which happens more frequently than I'd like to disclose.
Today, those two very disparate elements in my life's story combined in a way that I wish I could unknow.
Red Lobster, likely panicked in a climate where restaurant sales are way down and more and more people realize they can get better food at reasonable prices (note, my elitism may be showing), released this foul beast on the world recently:
Called the "Dew Garita" because Neon Barf was already taken, this concoction includes Mountain Dew, tequila, and "a few other special ingredients" (the tears of Dale DeGroff, desperation, and a whiff of lavender). It pairs well with Red Lobster Cheddar Bay Biscuits and jorts with sleeveless shirts. (Again, the elitism. Dammit.)
End already, 2020.
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My wife and kids love crab legs. It is a staple of our Hilton Head / FL trips - one nice seafood dinner. There are limited quality options, however, near where I live. But there is a Red Lobster. We have eaten at Red Lobster a couple times on my oldest’s birthday. He’s oblivious and loves it. I, on the other hand, am on edge the whole time. The booths are rarely clean, the service is usually spotty, there are always piles of dirty dishes on nearby tables, and we are frequently the only diners in the restaurant not wearing sweatpants.
That drink sounds horrendous. I share your overall elitism in regards to that restaurant.
Unrelated - I went to bed at the halfway point of the 2nd OT in the Isles-Lightning series. They scored less than three minutes later. Unfortunate timing.
Saw this item yesterday on the twitter machine and thought I was being trolled.
Who took Neon Barf? Can we get our patent experts on that?
TR, bring the crew down this way some summer and we'll go to my favorite bar/seafood restaurant in town on a Monday, when they have AYCE crab legs. We will give them a run for their money.
I haven't been able to stomach tequila since an encounter with a bottle of Cactus Jack in high school, but this is disgusting on a whole other level.
I knew rob when he was a Dew-drinking fiend. Over my nearly five decades I've been on brief kicks of Coca-Cola, Dr. Pepper, Mr. Pibb, Coke with a little Cherry Coke in it, A&W, Barq's, Fresca, Sunkist, Orangina, Crush, Hawaiian Punch, 7 Up, Sprite, tons of ginger ales, and, of course, Cragmont. (Especially Cragmont's "The Skipper.")
Never have I enjoyed Mountain Dew. I'd take Mello Yello over the Dew. Rob's crazy. (But not as insane as this Dew Garita.)
Rootsy, you didn't have any tequila in college? That's... odd.
Nope. Still can't do it, thought I'm tempted to try. I drank the beast, except for special occasions like wine & cheese, mug night, or accompanying zman to the leafe to enable his ridiculous streak of nights out in the 'burg.
Cactus Jack will get you high tonight
Take you to your special island
Cactus Jack will get you by tonight
A little push and you'll be smiling
Is that how the song goes?
Never heard that one. I was a senior in high school, and we got out at noon every Friday. Went to my buddy's house and had a 'matinee party'. The cactus jack went down easy to start, and I was suddenly extremely drunk. I have some hazy memories of the afternoon- chasing a basketball down a steep driveway and tripping into the street, passing out in a car, then rallying to stagger out to watch the second half of a an afternoon football game at another local school.
I also had to go home, as we had a guest coming for family dinner. My parents were apparently unaware, but my younger brother knew what was happening. I excused myself from the table, caught some rest, then got picked up to go to my school's homecoming game. My buddy who hosted the party (and got nearly as drunk as I did) had to drive someone around the track in his dad's TR6. It was much later in the night when I ordered the car I was riding in to pull over so I could purge myself of the wicked tequila. I drank some more of it the next night, but never again since. I was a fucking idiot, and hope my kids make better choices than that.
I have become quite fond of Espolon tequila in the last year. It's reasonably priced. I have a margarita mix that is keto-friendly. I can have 3-4 margaritas and I feel okay the next day. Much better than if I had 3-4 servings of brown liquor.
I know two unrelated people that cannot consume alcohol of any kind (no beer, no wine, no other liquor) except tequila. Everything else gives them a blinding headache and makes them feel terrible. Tequila works just fine. Strange.
Squeaky's other nickname is Dooger, and the Dew Garita sounds like a drink he should make. Not this Red Lobster debacle.
Didn't Pip work at Red Lobster?
You don't want to know what's in the Doogerita.
The Doogerita sounds like the concoction someone left in the loo of the Braxton Court house Zman and I lived in one summer. He was also kind enough to save it for when the utilities had been cut off, so we had to live with it until someone (probably Z) got the water connected.
I recall that Pip was working at a place called Club Z my freshman year. I don’t believe that Zman had any ownership.
That Braxton Court house was a dump and the story of the water main is ridiculous.
Marls is correct, I owned no part of Club Z. Pip used to tell us "Come to Club Z!" all the time and offered to give us tons of free drinks. Of course we had to drive there and we were too stupid to take a cab so we never went. We could've hung out alone and drank for free. Instead we went to College Delly and paid to drink alone.
We could have played Z at Club Z. Just what every gain struggling club needs- a gaggle of frat guys in a circle saying words that nobody outside the circle understands.
Club Z’s target demographic seemed to be the 30 to 40 year old divorcees of the greater Williamsburg area. I guess the Greek mafia saw that as a fertile market. It may have been a miscalculation on their part.
We've got a place called 'Fork in the Alley' in Roanoke, located in the old money part of town. Decent and pricey wood fired pizza, with a family vibe until 9pm or so. After then it turns into a similar type of meat market, where divorced rich guys in their 40s and 50s connect with single women in their 20s and 30s.
I've played a few gigs there (horrible place to play, but they paid well). One of those nights was the first show for our washboard player. He was approached at a break by an attractive redhead, who asked him if he preferred the Beatles or the Stones. He chose The Beatles. She told him that both answers were wrong, then furtively grabbed his crotch and whispered in his ear "Led Zeppelin".
Washboard players get all the chicks
Stuff like that never happens to me.
If that happened to a 30 y/o single Dave, and the woman whispered “Rusted Root,” would he have shoved her away?
If she had said "Steve Miller Band", Dave would've punched her in the face.
I’m looking forward to the adult version of Emmet Otter’s Jug Band XXX-Mas.
A scintillating new post has hit the streets
How to make the Dewgarita at home
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