Cheerwine Colada, You're Next

There was a time in my life when my morning routine included a stop at 7-11 for a 64 oz. Mountain Dew Big Gulp. My teeth are definitely worse the wear for that.

And I do love a good margarita, on the rocks, with salt. Los Tios here in my hometown makes a mean and very large version, and the pandemic loosened a lot of ABC laws, so we can get them to go. Which happens more frequently than I'd like to disclose.

Today, those two very disparate elements in my life's story combined in a way that I wish I could unknow.

Red Lobster, likely panicked in a climate where restaurant sales are way down and more and more people realize they can get better food at reasonable prices (note, my elitism may be showing), released this foul beast on the world recently:

 Called the "Dew Garita" because Neon Barf was already taken, this concoction includes Mountain Dew, tequila, and "a few other special ingredients" (the tears of Dale DeGroff, desperation, and a whiff of lavender). It pairs well with Red Lobster Cheddar Bay Biscuits and jorts with sleeveless shirts. (Again, the elitism. Dammit.)

End already, 2020.

The Test 34: Elitist Stuff

This week on The Test, I quiz the ladies on some highbrow shit . . . and they perform admirably. If you listen closely, you'll notice that Stacey not only invents a jazz musician, but also cracks a number of hysterical jokes that Cunningham and I completely ignore.

I have some trouble "taking stuff from my head," but the Voice of God comes to the rescue. Cunningham corrects me on-- of all things-- a sporting quotation, and I come up with an extemporaneous bonus question and then refuse to let the ladies answer it because I want to answer it myself. It's astounding that they put up with me.

Take a shot, keep score, and see if you know as much "elitist stuff" as we do.

Jerry, this one is right in your wheelhouse.