Gheorghemas Day Seven (of a Possible Dozen)

On the seventh day of Gheorghemas, Big Gheorghe gave to me...



Seven Books For Reading (Seriously)

Six Beers Worth Drinking

A fiiiiifth Golden Ring..... (please?)

Four Years of Marcus;

Three Scummers Picking;

Two albums to look forward to; and

A fat guy in a jersey

Last year, I read twenty-two books (according to my Gheorghemas post). Not too shabby, if you look at how many books most Americans read each year. And many of these books were either long or difficult . . . or both: Infinite Jest, The Goldfinch, Far From the Tree, Columbine, etc. 

Congrats to me.

Though I titled last year's post Seven Books for Reading, it might have been better titled: Seven Books You Can Brag That You Read (To Other Elitist Bastards). I'm proud I powered through them, but I'm not sure they were practical recommendations.

This year, however, was different. This year I read a shitload of books-- many of them short and many of them easy (two superb traits that our fearless leader Rob possesses). Plus, I was really sick in the spring with the flu and bronchitis, and I went on a cross-country trip for much of the summer. So I had some serious reading opportunities. I am proud to say that I read forty-six books, and many of them are actually books for reading: crime fiction and travel and sports and financial stuff. Here are the seven most memorable-- and I've included the covers so you can judge them:

1) The Sixth Extinction: an Unnatural History by Elizabeth Kolbert

Megafauna and an impending biological apocalypse (if you're partial to humans). This is the only "serious" book on the list, but it's vivid, surprisingly readable, and contains information vital to human survival-- so you might want to skip it and move down to the crime-thrillers.

2) The Cold Cold Ground by Adrian Mckinty

It's 1981, and a hipster Catholic cop (who is partial to The Clash) treads some dangerous ground: he's a member of the Belfast RUC, the mainly Protestant police force . . . and being the token Catholic on the force is difficult enough, but he's also simultaneously dealing with the constant civil unrest and a bona fide serial killer. Read the trilogy.

3) Play Their Hearts Out: A Coach, His Star Recruit, and the Youth Basketball Machine by George Dohrmann

If you're a parent and/or a coach, you need to read this book. It's a wild ride, full of highs and lows, despicable characters and inspirational moments, and it will change the way you view youth sports. A Mark recommendation.

4) The Power of the Dog by Don Winslow

I read this in August, while I sat on the beach at Sea Isle City, surrounded by my friends and family. While they laughed and had good times, I was immersed in a world of DEA agents, drug cartels, and torture. LOTS of torture. Winslow reads like a blend of two of my favorite authors: James Ellroy and Elmore Leonard; after I read this one, I went on a Winslow binge: Savages, The Winter of Frankie Machine, The Dawn Patrol . . . they are all worth reading.

5) Ready Player One by Ernest Kline

This book was so entertaining that I felt guilty while reading it. I recommend it to anyone enjoys references to Joust, Zork, TRS-80, War Games, Pac Man, John Hughes, Dungeons and Dragons, and things of that ilk.

6) Another Great Day at Sea: Life Aboard the U.S.S. George H. W. Bush by Geoff Dyer

British critic Geoff Dyer is a professional grouch and a fantastic writer-- I'll read just about anything he writes (even an entire book about a nearly unwatchable science-fiction movie).  To write this relatively short book, he crammed his long and rangy body into an aircraft carrier for a few weeks; then, in spectacular Geoff Dyer fashion,  he just hung around, complained a bit, and observed how things went: his insight is alternately absurd and inspirational . . . and if you've never been in the military, then this book is not only entertaining, but it's also educational (warning: if you're on the flight deck, watch out for the cables!)

7) A three way tie: Flash Boys, David and Goliath, and Think Like a Freak

Michael Lewis, Malcolm Gladwell, and the Levitt/Dubner duo have been churning out some of the slickest, most entertaining, and totally excellent non-fiction ever written. Even though these these three books will probably be considered minor efforts in their collective oeuvre, they were still totally entertaining and totally worth reading. Flash Boys sheds light on the dark and weird world of high-frequency trading; David and Goliath turns multiple underdog stories upside-down; and Think Like a Freak explains what David Lee Roth and King Solomon have in common.

Below is my entire list of books from 2014. Right now I am reading The Gentleman's Hour by Don Winslow and A History of the American People by Paul Johnson. I will certainly finish the Winslow book; it's a crime thriller set in San Diego-- lots of surfing, drugs, and male camaraderie, but I doubt I will get through the Paul Johnson tome . . . but there's always next year.

The Unwinding: An Inner History of the New America, After the Music Stopped: The Financial Crisis, the Response, and the Work Ahead , What I Learned Losing a Million Dollars, The Cold Cold Ground, American Hippopotamus , Play Their Hearts Out: A Coach, His Star Recruit, and the Youth Basketball Machine, Futebol: The Brazilian Way of Life, Looking for Alaska, The Lizard King: The True Crimes and Passions of the World's Greatest Reptile Smugglers, The Improbability Principle, The Sixth Extinction: An Unnatural History, The Interestings, Dare Me, All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood, Brain on Fire: My Month of Madness, You Should Have Known, Dog Soldiers, Lost in My Own Backyard, Expiration Date, The Improbability Principle, Flash Boys, The Noble Hustle: Poker, Beef Jerky and Death, It's Complicated: the social lives of networked teens, Stuff Matters: Exploring the Marvelous Materials that Shape Our Man-Made World, Another Great Day at Sea: Life Aboard the USS George H.W. Bush, No Place to Hide: Edward Snowden, the NSA, and the U.S. Surveillance State , Travels with Charley, The Lost Continent, Ungifted: Intelligence Redefined, The Truth About Talent, Practice, Creativity, and the Many Paths to Greatness , Empire's Workshop: Latin America, the United States, and the Rise of the New Imperialism, Power of the Dog, The Second Machine Age: Work, Progress, and Prosperity in a Time of Brilliant Technologies, I Hear the Sirens in the Street, David and Goliath: Underdogs, Misfits, and the Art of Battling Giants, Uncharted: Big Data as a Lens on Human Culture, Think Like a Freak, Bad Land: An American Romance, Shelter, Ready Player One, The Fever , Over Easy, The Teacher Wars: A History of America's Most Embattled Profession, Savages, The Winter of Frankie Machine, Dawn Patrol, How We Got to Now: Six Innovations That Made the Modern World 

The Twelve Days of Gheorghemas: Day Seven

On the seventh day of Gheorghemas, Big Gheorghe gave to me:

Seven books for reading
6.9 Non Sequiturs
Six All-Star Nods
Five podcasts for listening
Four posts zman meant to write but never did
Three French Hens
Two in-state rivalries
And a dork with a split personal-ity

This is year three of my "seven books for reading" post, so now I've got some big data to evaluate. In 2013, I read approximately twenty-three books. In 2014, I read approximately forty-six books. This year I split the difference and read approximately thirty-three books. It's much easier for me to figure this out these days . . . thanks to T.J.'s gentle encouragement, I've finally learned to use the "labels" feature on Blogger.

It's always hard to choose the seven best, as all the books I finished were pretty damned good . . . that's why I finished them. I'm a finicky reader, and I start more books than I finish. Here are the seven most memorable.

1) Beyond Words: What Animals Think and Feel (Carl Safina)

The most significant and groundbreaking book on the list. Comprehensive, and a bit of a bear to get through (especially the first two sections, which focus on elephants and wolves) but I promise it will be worth it, and you'll never look at your dog in the same way again.

2) Savage Harvest: A Tale of Cannibals, Colonialism, and Michael Rockefeller's Tragic Quest for Primitive Art (Carl Hoffman)

The title says it all. Rich kids and cannibals mix like oil and water.

3) Dreamland: The True Tale of America's Opiate Epidemic (Sam Quinones)

Astounding journalism. America does a lot of drugs. Mexico produces a lot of drugs. God is in the details. The book inspired this song.

4) The Cartel (Don Winslow)

I can't get enough of Don Winslow, and I can't get enough of the Mexican drug trade. Part fact and part fiction, the sequel to The Power of the Dog, and a perfect companion to the previous book.

5) Big Little Lies (Liane Moriarty)

The Australian version of Mean Girls . . . except with mean moms.

6) Dancing With the Devil in the City of God: Rio de Janeiro on the Brink (Juliana Barbassa)

An honest and dynamic portrait of Rio . . . if you've seen City of God, you'll love this book.

7) City of Bones (Michael Connelly)

I'm choosing this particular Michael Connelly novel over all the other ones I have read only because it features the La Brea Tar Pits. I've read a number of his Harry Bosch crime procedurals and they're all fantastic (I'm in the middle of Trunk Music right now).

Before my list of all the books I finished, I'll give you something more interesting and less annoying: here are a few of the books I didn't finish . . .

1) Walter R. Borneman's 1812: The War That Forged a Nation

I really wanted to finish this book and become an expert on the War of 1812, but I couldn't read more than two paragraphs in a row before falling into a very deep sleep.

2) The Witches: Salem, 1692 (Stacy Schiff)

I was really excited to read this book, and I've never been so disappointed. After a beautifully written start, about how alienated and lonesome the Puritans were, strangers in a strange land, living in small dark smoky houses, describing events as if they were on a "low grade acid trip," this book devolves into fragmented declarative sentences of historical minutia, with no overarching structure or theme. I think Schiff's research possessed her soul and destroyed it.

3) Purity (Jonathan Franzen)

Another one I was excited about, but I'll never read Jonathan Franzen again. His characters are wooden, repetitive and despicable, and while he writes great sentences, I'm not sure he knows shit about human nature. I'd rather spend my time reading well-researched non-fiction.

4) Sy Montgomery's book The Soul of an Octopus: A Surprising Exploration into the Wonder of Consciousness

Well-written and fascinating, but just too much octopus.

Here's the list of the books I finished in 2015:

Savage Harvest: A Tale of Cannibals, Colonialism, and Michael Rockefeller's Tragic Quest for Primitive Art (Carl Hoffman)

Big Little Lies (Liane Moriarty)

The Best American Science and Nature Writing (2014 Edition)

The Happiest People in the World (Brock Clark)

Building a Better Teacher: How Teaching Works (and How to Teach It to Everyone) (Elizabeth Green)

The Fifth Witness (Michael Connelly)

City of Bones (Michael Connelly)

The Drop (Michael Connelly)

The Black Ice (Michael Connelly)

The Concrete Blonde (Michael Connelly)

The Last Coyote (Michael Connelly)

Skeleton Road (Val McDermid)

Why Does the World Exist? An Existential Detective Story (Jim Holt)

When to Rob a Bank and 131 More Warped Suggestions and Well-intentioned Rants (Levitt and Dubner)

The Husband's Secret (Liane Moriarty)

Dreamland: The True Tale of America's Opiate Epidemic (Sam Quinones)

How We Learn: The Surprising Truth About When, Where and Why It Happens (Benedict Carey)

The Next Species: The Future of Evolution in the Aftermath of Man (Michael Tennesen)

The Son (Jo Nesbo)

The Cartel (Don Winslow)

What Alice Forgot (Liane Moriarty)

Breakfast of Champions (Kurt Vonnegut)

Joyland (Stephen King)

Tell No One (Harlan Coben)

Dancing With the Devil in the City of God: Rio de Janeiro on the Brink (Juliana Barbassa)

Finders Keepers (Stephen King)

The Hand That Feeds You (Amy Hempel and Jill Ciment)

Before the Storm: Barry Goldwater and the Unmaking of the American Consensus (Rick Perlstein)

The Captive Condition (Kevin P. Keating)

Beyond Words: What Animals Think and Feel (Carl Safina)

The Dick Gibson Show (Stanley Elkin)

A Doll's House (Henrik Ibsen)

Overwhelmed: Work, Love and Play When No one Has the Time (Brigid Schulte)

Twelve Days of Gheorghemas: Day Seven

On the seventh day of Gheorghemas, Big Gheorghe gave to me:

Seven Book Categories for Reading
Six Cylinders for Shlara
Five Givings of Thanks
Four Badass Women
Three(+) Decades of Love’s Labor
Two Things You’re Needing
And a Fat Guy in a Sweet T

I'm sure you're all sick of all the end of the year lists . . . the movies you didn't have time to see, the political events you finally forgot about, the celebrities that croaked. And the books you didn't read. So I'm going to make this as simple as I can.

I'm quite proud that I read forty-three books in 2018. Or I was quite proud, until my friend and colleague Stacey presented me with her book list. That's when I decided lists are stupid (it might have been sour grapes). It's really hard to recommend a good book, let alone 43 of them. Reading is deeply personal . . . it's a commitment. While I would love it if all my friends read the exact same books as me, at the exact same time, it's just not feasible. You can sample music or a TV show and then tell your buddy you tried, but a book takes more effort.

And a book recommendation is fraught with peril. You could really disappoint someone. They could think far less of you (this could happen with music and TV as well but we tend to excuse trash in those domains . . . if you think Here Comes Honey Boo Boo is the shit, I'm not going to bother arguing with you. But I'm still bickering with folks in my department about how contrived and lacking in hockey-insight Fredrik Bachman's novel Beartown is).

However, a good book recommendation is a wonderful thing. I'm still passing along George Dohrmann's Play Their Hearts Out: A Coach, His Star Recruit, and the Youth Basketball Machine, a book that Mark recommended.

So instead of recommending seven books, which is six too many, I'm going to recommend seven book categories. In each category, I'll recommend one or two books. I think that's reasonable.

I'm going to start with one over-arching recommendation, however. The first book is the one book on my list that all the Gheorghies should read. It is a surefire hit for this crowd, and I'm asking you to trust me on it. Oklahoma Thunder Basketball, tornadoes, The Flaming Lips, city planning, and the 1889  Land Run, all wrapped up in hurtling juggernaut headed towards the inevitable BOOM. Give it a shot, and then thank me when you finish it in three days.

1) The One Book All Gheorghies Need to Read 

Boom Town: The Fantastical Saga of Oklahoma City, Its Chaotic Founding, Its Apocalyptic Weather, Its Purloined Basketball Team, and the Dream of Becoming a World Class Metropolis by Sam Anderson

2) OBFT XXVI Book Club Selection

Cliffy (who runs a moving business) also enjoyed this one, which details-- in his words-- "America's first move." I would really enjoy if some of the fishing trip guys read this one, so we could discuss it in the appropriate setting.

The Secret Token: Myth, Obsession and the Search for the Lost Colony of Roanoke by Andrew Lawler

3) A Classic That's Worth Reading

This novel is regarded as "The Great Gatsby of the West Coast." I think it's a lot more fun than Fitzgerald.

Ask the Dust by John Fante

4) Two Books for the Whole Family

We had a family book club this summer, and my kids chose these two books. I loved both of them, and both made me cry (one is about dogs and the other has several underdog sporting moments).

The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-time Indian by Sherman Alexie

A Dog's Purpose by W. Bruce Cameron

5) Two Books with BIG Ideas

These suckers are heavy, but I guarantee if you make it through either one (or both) you'll never look at the world the same way again. Both are comparable to Guns, Germs, and Steel.

The Evolution of Beauty: How Darwin's Forgotten Theory of Mate Choice Shapes the Animal World -- An Us by Richard O. Prum

The Wizard and the Prophet by Charles C. Mann

6) Two Books That Will Make You Laugh

Nothing is harder than humor, and these are two authors at the top of their game. If you've never read Sedaris, you can start with this one and then work your way through. The best part about Schumacher's epistolary novel is that there's a sequel, which is more traditional in format, but just as funny.

Dear Committee Members by Julie Schumacher

Calypso by David Sedaris

7) Something Thoughtful and Political

The Coddling of the American Mind: How Good Intentions and Bad Ideas Are Setting Up a Generation for Failure by Greg Lukianoff and Jonathan Haidt

Merry Gheorghemas! Happy Reading!

If you'd like to join me, this winter I'm going to wade through Vietnam: An Epic Tragedy 1945 - 1975 by Max Hastings It's 900 pages, and it's supposed to arrive before Christmas.

There's no better way to celebrate the holidays than by being thankful you weren't drafted into a chaotic misguided quagmire of atrocities and futility (with flashes of honor, resourcefulness and heroism . . . often for lost causes).

The Twelve Days of Gheorghemas: Day Ten

On the tenth day of Gheorghemas 

Big Gheorghe gave to me...

Top Ten Reasons to Read a Book

Nine More Questionable Predictions

Eight Amazing Quotes from Barbie (A Shlara Joint)
Seven Weeks of Sobriety*

Six Random Items

Five Golden Auctions

Four Teams for Bitching

Three Tiny Scrappers
Two books for your Gheorghemas wish list
And a doofus to lead this country

Last night, the Ghost of Gheorghemas Past manifested himself in an otherwise sexy dream involving several tall and leggy Eastern European tennis players. Upon sight of the Ghost, the ladies scattered and it was just me and a very tall specter. And he was angry. All seven foot seven of him. 

“Where are the seven books for reading?” 

The Ghost of Gheorghemas Past asked this question in a very spooky voice. Deep and full of robotic distortion. 

He sounded like this:

Though I was scared, I had a bunch of opinions I wanted to share-- and it turns out I'm more garrulous, vociferous, and long-winded than I am frightened of very tall phantasms.

So I sat him down on the end of my bed (he was too tall to talk to while standing up) and I told him what's what. First, I went on a long-winded tirade about the rampant materialism, environmental devastation, bumper-to-bumper traffic, and unreasonable expectations surrounding the holidays.  He seemed receptive to my complaints. 

I went on to explain that seven reading recommendations were just too many recommendations. Burdensome. Overwhelming. That's the problem with all these end-of-the-year lists: they're always too long . . . and don't get me started about "recency bias."

Hey internet! Here's some advice! Stop being so haphazard and desultory! Tell me the one movie I should watch, the one book I should read, and the one album I should listen to. 

You might also want to delineate the five thousand+ TikTok videos I should consume to truly understand the youth that I teach. 

And what percentage of these videos are "mukbang"?

The problem here-- and this is certainly a First World problem-- is that I read 46 books this year and I enjoyed quite a few of them. It's really hard to recommend just one or two. You can, of course, go down the rabbit hole and listen to my podcast, We Defy Augury, which contains all my tangential thoughts on what I've read this year-- but I'm not necessarily recommending that . . . I'm just shamelessly cross-promoting to annoy Marls.

So now, in complete contradiction to what I've just declared, I'm going to recommend a random amount of books because I can't really choose among my favorites. Just pick one of these and read it. You won't be disappointed.

If you're looking for a fast-paced novel in an exotic location, you can't go wrong with Birnam Wood by New Zealander Eleanor Catton. It's an eco-thriller that pits the hippies vs. the plutocrats. It's a trip. 

Here are two BIG novels you can really get lost in:

The Little Friend by Donna Tartt. Southern Gothic to the max. 

Wellness by Nathan Hill. Probably the best novel of the year, but only read it if you're willing to reflect on the institution of marriage.

As far as non-fiction . . .

If you're getting amped up for the upcoming political shitshow, it might be good to take a step back and read Under the Eye of Power: How Fear of Secret Societies Shapes American Democracy by Colin Dickey. 

Dickey's comprehensive narrative on how secret societies and conspiratorial thinking have intermittently reared their ugly heads and influenced our democratic process might not make you feel wonderful about the near future, but at least you'll realize that this era of misinformation and polarization is nothing new: politicians have always galvanized conspiracy theories and populist support for votes and power, and this too shall pass.

If you don't want to think about the upcoming political shitshow and instead you want to reflect on your musical taste and just why you listen to the stuff you listen to (and why everyone listens to complete crap) then I have two truly excellent recommendations for you:

This Is What It Sounds Like: What the Music You Love Says About You by Susan Rogers and Ogi Ogas. 

Let's Talk About Love: Why Other People Have Such Bad Taste by Carl Wilson

Anyway, that's probably too many recommendations-- but perhaps they will appease the Ghost of Gheorghemas Past and he'll stop barging into my sexy dreams.

If you're really balls-out-committed to doing some reading in 2024, you can join me and the 99% Invisible gang and read Robert Caro's masterpiece The Power Broker. It's a 1200-page biography of Robert Moses, the paradoxical populist visionary/ruthless autocrat/car-loving douche-bag who simultaneously improved and destroyed New York City and its environs. It's also Conan O'Brien's favorite book. I bought a hardcover copy as an early Xmas gift-- it's absurdly enormous. I'm already on page 200!

And now, on to the Top Ten List . . . Letterman style? Maybe . . . I vaguely remember these from when I was a kid.

Top Ten Reasons to Read a Book

10. You can’t get genital herpes from reading in bed (unless your wife is a whore).

9. It's better than the movie.

8. Reading is the best way to own the libs.

7. A book won’t sell your personal data.

6. Looking for a good night's sleep? Reading is almost as soporific as NyQuil.

5. When you read, you learn things . . . 

The looser the waistband, the deeper the quicksand or, so I have read.

4. Hey hipster! Reading is more fun than learning to knit.

3. When you finish The Power Broker, Robert Caro might send you a congratulatory t-shirt.

2. It's not like you're doing well with the ladies.

1. If you don't read Communion by Whitley Strieber, then how else are you going to learn the unadulterated truth about alien abductions?

Happy Holidays, Gheorghies.

The 12 Days of Gheorghemas: Day Seven

On the seventh day of Gheorghemas, Big Gheorghe gave to me . . .

Seven Books for Reading
Six cocktails
Five gooooals / things
Four legal mic drops
Three critters and an otter
Two names for naming
And a fat guy in a jer-sey

I'm not going to beat around the bush and attempt to humblebrag. I read a lot of books. Real books. LONG books. Can you even brag about something so nerdy?

I attribute this not simply to the fact that I like to read. A lot of people I know like to read, and many of them don't read a lot of books. I get shit done in the book department because I don't mind starting several books until I find one I really like, and once I really like a book, I don't mind committing to it. Though I've been called ADHD as much as anyone (who is not actually diagnosed with ADHD) the truth is that I don't really love surfing the web, or browsing magazines. I don't watch the news or scan through the channels on TV or go on Facebook or Twitter. I like albums over songs. This can be a disadvantage. At times, I can be be totally out of it, and not know basic current events or pop culture. But I love getting lost in a big idea or a convoluted plot, and I also have a deep appreciation for people who spend years of their lives researching and writing on one topic.

I went through Sentence of Dave, and I think this is a fairly accurate list of the books I finished this year. If I actually finished a book, that's a credit to it, because I'm willing to bail on a book I don't like fairly quickly. I am rather arbitrarily choosing seven of these books as "must reads," but don't take my choices too seriously -- they are all good reads (except the George R.R. Martin fiasco A Dance with Dragons . . . I hope that guy dies before he finishes his next exercise in prolixity).

Some Books I Finished in 2013:

Far From the Tree, Wild Ones, The Goldfinch, Antifragile, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, The (Honest) Truth About Dishonesty, Behind the Beautiful Forevers, Columbine, The Great Stagnation, The World Until Yesterday, A Perfect Mess, The Love Affairs of Nathaniel P., I Wear the Black Hat, Fist Stick Knife Gun, The Looming Tower, A Dance with Dragons, The Devil in the White City, Overdressed, House of Mirth, Psychiatric Tales, Collision Low Crossers and Infinite Jest.

Here are the seven that I urge you to read.

Collision Low Crossers: A year Inside the Turbulent World of NFL Football

by Nicholas Dawidoff

I just finished this one, and while I would probably have enjoyed it even more if it were about the Giants (I can imagine how compelling this book would be if you were a diehard Jets fan) but, rooting interests aside, I think this is going to be regarded as one of the greatest sports books ever written. Take that recommendation with a grain of salt, because I love saying something is the best thing ever (until the next best thing ever comes along). Anyway, this is my book of the year. 460 insightful, vivid, brilliantly written pages.

What does it offer? Nothing typical. No Cinderella story. No dramatic run to the Super Bowl (that would be the 2011 Giants). Just a great reporter, who "embedded" himself with he 2011 Jets and writes a comprehensively detailed account of all the stuff you don't see on Sunday: the camaraderie, character, and monomania of the coaching staff, the hours of watching film, tactics at the Combine, grading and evaluating players, the invented language of football, what goes on during the countless hours these men spend at "the office," the complexity of play-calling and strategy, the mind-numbing mundanity of the meetings, the anxiety of trying to play a violent sport at the highest level possible, how to be a leader of men, what happens when you don't win, what happens when your quarterback doesn't step up, loads of everyday minutia, and defense, defense, defense. An inside look written by a total outsider. Right up there with The Blind Side and Friday Night Lights.

Behind the Beautiful Forevers: Life, Death, and Hope in a Mumbai Undercity

by Catherine Boo

Everything you need to know about living in a Mumbai Undercity (and more!) An incredible work of journalism, and a great reality check that will make you appreciate your life (unless you live in a Mumbai Undercity . . . then it might just offer some practical tips on how to get by salvaging junk and navigating the byzantine Indian legal system).

The Goldfinch

by Donna Tartt

Just noticed that this is the only novel on the list. That says it all. Dickensian to the max. Picaresque.

Far From the Tree: Parents, Children, and the Search for Identity

by Andrew Solomon

If you are a parent (or have parents or know any parents or have ever been a child or know any children) then you must read this book. A magnum opus that took ten years to write. The least you can do is spend a couple weeks reading it.

Columbine

by Dave Cullen

If Newtown disturbed and confounded you, take a step back and read this comprehensive account. Another ten year effort.

Wild Ones: A Sometimes Dismaying, Weirdly Reassuring Story About Looking at People Looking at Animals in America

by Jon Mooallem

This is one of those books that I serendipitously stumbled upon, and immediately felt like it was written expressly for me. Butterflies, cranes, and polar bears. Occasional mega-fauna.

The Devil in the White City: Murder, Magic and Madness at the Fair That Changed America

by Erik Larsen

If you like architecture and serial murder (and who doesn't) then this is the book for you. Because I read a lot, I forget a lot. Though I read this a while ago, I still remember it vividly, and I imagine the images from this book will stick with me for the rest of my life.

The book I am most proud of finishing this year -- Infinite Jest -- didn't make the list because it's ridiculously long and probably only geared for elitist douche-bags. That being said, it is about sports, and it is kind of humorous, and Jerry finished it long before I did, so it is another one to keep in mind, if you like tennis and have (more than) some time to kill.

The Twelve Days of Gheorghemas Day Seven (Seven Books for Reading)

On the seventh day of Gheorghemas
Big Gheorghe gave to me:

Seven Books for Reading
Six Vinyl Discs
Five golden (Cream Yellow, really) cylinders for Squeaky
Four players playing
Three Nutty Squirrels
Two Chilean bangers (literally)
And a British lass slingin’ hot meat

Aloha Gheorghies. I hope some of you read my #1 book pick for 2019. It's by Sam Anderson and the title is a mouthful:

Boom Town: The Fantastical Saga of Oklahoma City, Its Chaotic Founding, Its Apocalyptic Weather, Its Purloined Basketball Team, and the Dream of Becoming a World Class Metropolis

If you didn't read it, you still can. That's the thing about books. And, unlike The Sixth Sense, I doubt anyone has spoiled it for you.

Unlike last year, when I recommended a book that was perfectly apropos for the G:TB-- a fast and easy read about basketball, alternative music, tornadoes, and a clusterfuck on the prairie-- this year I'm going to challenge you motherfuckers.

My number one pick is a trilogy. A sci-fi trilogy. One of the hardest things I ever read. Translated from Chinese. Epic in scope. Groundbreaking. Some people in my office started but no one made it past the first book (and I'm an English teacher). My buddy Alec, who read all of Neal Stephenson's Anathem, quit halfway through book two. But I persevered and it was worth it. I thought I was the only person in New Jersey to finish all three books. Then my friend Melanie told she had whipped through them as well. No problem. So I guess they're not THAT difficult (although Melanie's pretty smart . . . for a girl). So go for it, I promise it will be worth it.

1) The Three-Body Problem by Cixin Liu

2) The Dark Forest by Cixin Liu

3) Death's End by Cixin Liu

The next pick is a fast and furious read. It's one of those non-fiction stories that will stretch the imagination of all you East Coast agnostics. Tara Westover survives being homeschooled by a fanatically religious, preparing-for-the-apocalypse, fighting Big Medicine, scrapmetal-baron nut job of a dad; while she is mercilessly manipulated and bullied by her older brother, and mainly left to fend for herself by a brainwashed, homeopathic midwife mom. In underdog fashion-- broken and corrupted of memory and normality-- she escapes her family and the mountains of Idaho and finally thrives.

4) Educated by Tara Westbrook

If-- instead of fishing and golfing-- you'd rather your retirement consist of going out into the universe and killing stuff, then read:

5) Old Man's War by John Scalzi

If heroin and oxycontin don't scare you enough, then check out:

6) Fentanyl, Inc.: How Rogue Chemists Are Creating the Deadliest Wave of the Opioid Epidemic by Ben Westhoff

I could also recommend Westhoff's Original Gangstas: The Untold Story of Dr. Dre, Eazy-E, Ice Cube, Tupac Shakur, and the Birth of West Coast Rap for Zman and Mark, but the rest of you may find this book a little too comprehensive and detailed. It's a great story though, especially how the gangsta rappers actually started to live up to their lyrics, instead of the reverse. Cause and effect go in reverse, and things end tragically.

Also, Eazy-E had ten kids by eight different women. I need to get busy, if I'm going to leave a legacy like that.

And while I know Malcolm Gladwell has taken some flak lately, especially in intellectual circles, for being a "thought leader" and sometimes playing fast and loose with his research, I love him as a writer. He makes non-fiction compelling and clear and in his newest book, he really brings his themes full circle. Also, his examples are topical and vividly executed. If you haven't read a Gladwell since Blink, this is a good way to get back into him.

7) Talking to Strangers: What We Should Know About The People We Don’t Know by Malcolm Gladwell

Enough of this post. I'm going upstairs to read Say Nothing: A True Story of Murder and Memory in Northern Ireland. Supposed to be really good.

Put some of your 2020 book picks in the comments.

The Twelve Days of Gheorghemas: Day Seven

On the seventh day of Gheorghe-mas, Big Gheorghe gave to me:

Seven Books for Reading

Six Top Episodes of Ted Lasso

Five Beers and Tunes

Four Resolutions

Three Gheorghemas Gifts to Give Yourself

Two Stones of Weight Loss (Your Mileage May Vary)

and Running Gags with Quatro Kitties

I don't think I'm making any specific resolutions for 2022 . . . if there's one thing we've all learned in the past few years, it's that things are too unpredictable to decide on anything for your future self. Although I will resolve to remind Rob to read more and get off social media-- if there's one thing we all know, it's that social media is a disastrously absurdist shitshow that in no way represents any kind of reality. I stay off it completely and utterly-- I don't even post my sentence on Facebook because I won't go there (some bot might post my sentence on Twitter, not sure).

I also resolve to never get a Peloton . . . so I guess I am making some resolutions. Anti-resolutions? I'm glad Zman lost weight and Rob is in good shape but I like going to an actual gym. It inspires me when I see other people working out, I get bored easily and like to switch up what I'm doing, and I like ogling women. But I really should have invested in Peloton stock: everyone I know has ponied up for one of those contraptions.

Rob should definitely read Deacon King Kong and those Soccer IQ books. And he should definitely be less angry at the state of the world; if you stay off social media and stop hating unvaccinated people . . . and wow do a lot of my fellow teachers like to hate on unvaccinated people-- and instead, you look at people as the victims of misinformation, political wedge issues, polarization, and too much competing information, you'll realize there's not much to hate. And that the call might be coming from inside the house. Anyway, on to the books . . .

I'm proud to say I read 52 books this year-- so far-- the first time I've read over fifty since I've been keeping count. I might get to 53 but it's going to be tough going, I'm in an 800 page Neal Stephenson sic-fi tome. Staying off social media helps my reading (although I think I'm addicted to online chess . . . an addiction that replaced my addiction to low stakes Texas Hold'em . . . stupid internet.)

Here are my seven favorites I read thsi year:

1) The Final Girl Support Group by Grady Hendrix

Read everything by this guy. He's the post-modern Stephen King. Final Girl Support Group is the most recent, but I also highly recommend Horrorstör . . . a haunted house story set in an IKEA. He does a great job with Southern culture and page-turning macabre fun.

2) Shakespeare in a Divided America: What His Plays Tell Us About His Past and Future by James Shapiro

This book is such a brilliant idea: Shapiro analyzes eight American Shakespeare productions in eight different periods of American history. Each production reflects the politics and predilections of the times-- and they often evoke our darkest sins in a way that we can handle and discuss: incest, suicide, adultery, racism, sexism, class warfare, democracy, tyranny, etc. Far more fun than going on social media and debating current politics.

3. Hidden Valley Road by Robert Kolker

One of the best books on mental illness ever written.

4. Action Park: Fast Times, Wild Rides, and the Untold Story of America's Most Dangerous Amusement Park by Andy Mulvihill (with Jake Rosen)

THE best book on Action Park ever written. Careens between the zaniness of Gene Mulvihill's insane vision for the park, nostalgic memories of his son working at the park, the actual danger and mayhem that happened in the park, and the rides and their designers. 

5) The Anthropocene Reviewed: Essays on a Human-centered Planet by John Green

Excellent essays (and five-star reviews) on things as various as air-conditioning, Canadian geese, lawns, Rick Ankiel and Jerzy Dudek. 

6) The Last Policeman by Ben H. Winters

An asteroid is going to hit the earth and pretty much end civilization and people are reacting as expected, aside from Henry Castle-- a detective on the Concord, New Hampshire police force. As the world falls apart around him, he continues to chase clues and solve mysteries. I read all three books in the series and recommend them all, BUT if you're looking for something apocalyptic, then go watch Mad Max: Fury Road . . . if you want a slow burn and a really perspicacious look at how things might fall apart before the apocalypse, search no further. 

7). Nomadland: Surviving America in the Twenty-First Century by Jessica Bruder

Read this book then watch the movie.

The Twelve Days of Gheorghemas: Day Seven

 On the seventh day of Gheorghemas, Big Gheorghe gave to me

Seven Books For Reading

Six Footie Jerseys
Five musicians from San Antonio known as the Sir Douglas Quintet
A four-part Japanese life strategy (as told by our man in the OBX)
Three 80's Baseball Sports Looks
Too Many Entries
and a Cameo That Will Go Down in History

Lately, I've been trying to stay off screens in my free time, since I'm spending my days teaching virtual high school. By the end of the day, my eyes are tired, so I'm working on my core. Core exercises are TOUGH. Remember when working out was just benching and lat pulls, along with a few sit-ups and a couple of curls? Those days are long gone. Try this:

But I'm still reading plenty of books, either on paper of my Kindle Paperwhite (which has a nice albedo . . . it's not harsh like a screen). The pandemic has been good for reading. I've already read 51 books this year (including Tom Jones, which is a monstrous tome). 

Here are seven good ones.

NUMBER ONE . . . Deacon King Kong by James McBride.

READ THIS BOOK. I've never read anything quite like it. It's a fictionalized account of the Brooklyn housing project in McBride he grew up; the year is 1969 and it's all going down: urban decay and revitalization, baseball, drugs, race, language and tall tales . . . the book is so much fun, even when it gets dark-- and there's some romance and a mystery to keep the plot cooking. . . . t

The story begins with a bang-- in the first sentence Sportcoat-- the old drunk church deacon, walks up to a young heroin dealer (who he coached as a child) and shoots him in the ear . . . but really the book begins with the mystery of Sportcoat's friend Hot Sausage and the free cheese. A must read.

NUMBER TWO . . . Why We're Polarized by Ezra Klein

This is my non-fiction choice of the year. I learned so much. The takeaway: stop wasting your time following national politics (unless you enjoy it as a hobby . . . like rooting for a football team). If you want to enact change, get off social media and do something locally. If you think the current state of affairs is going to change, you're wrong. It's all identity politics-- the parties have figured it out, they've stacked the identities on top of one another, ballot splitting is rare, folks don't care about policy on the national level, and emotion reigns supreme. National politics is a team sport, dominated by psychological traits that aren't going to be mollified any time soon, so you're just going to get frustrated if you get involved. This might be the last book you read on this topic.

NUMBER THREE . . . The Secret History by Donna Tartt

This Bacchanalian murder mystery set in a college town is way too much fun. You won't put it down.

NUMBER FOUR . . . The Long Way to a Small Angry Planet by Becky Chambers

I read a lot of incredibly dense and difficult sci-fi this year. Kept my mind off the election and the pandemic. I won't bore you with it-- it's for the diehards. This book is breezy and fun sci-fi . . . but also epic. If you want to read another fun and breezy sci-fi book (that's reminiscent of Kurt Vonnegut) check out Set My Heart To Five by Simon Stephenson.

NUMBER FIVE . . . Devil in a Blue Dress by Walter Mosley

Great hard-boiled mystery, but the knight in a powder blue suit is a black dude. You might as well read the trilogy. A Red Death  and White Butterfly are the next two.

NUMBER SIX . . . The Daughter of Time by Josephine Tey

Another great mystery . . . but the detective never leaves his hospital bed. Enough said.

NUMBER SEVEN . . . The Inner Game of Tennis by W. Timothy Gallwey

One of the strangest sports books ever written. T.S. Eliot quotations and Zen consciousness tips will help you reach peak performance. I've been playing a shitload of tennis during the pandemic, and this book makes me realize that everything I need to hit the ball better is between my ears.

These are all excellent and fun reads. If you want some hardcore sci-fi recommendations, just ask. Add your 2020 favorites in the comments.

The Twelve Days of Gheorghemas: Day Seven

On the seventh day of Gheorghemas, Big Gheorghe gave to me . . . 

Seven books for reading (and one for burning)

Six splurges for Christmas

Five Good News Stories, courtesy of Shlara

Soon to be Four on the Floor

Three Habits Forming

Two beers with Marcus Aerelius, an OBX Dave Joint, and

Two(?) dudes bested by Kazansky

I tried to use the artificially "intelligent" large language chatbot ChatGTP to write this post but the bot would not cooperate with my nefarious plan. 

First, I asked ChatGTP for a glowing review of James S.A. Corey's sci-fi novel Leviathan Wakes in the style of Donald Trump. 

No dice. 

Then I asked for a review of Blacktop Wasteland in the tone of the King James Bible. 

ChatGTP chastised me. 

It is not appropriate to write a glowing review of a book simply because it is written in the style of a particular text. Reviews should be honest and reflect the reviewer's own opinions and experiences with the book. In addition, it is important to respect the integrity and tone of religious texts, such as the King James Bible, and not use them for the purpose of promoting a book or other product.

Boo!

So I will write these the old-fashioned way . . . on an iMac, stored in the cloud, to be published digitally on a blog, with the assistance of Grammarly. 

Just like Gutenberg.

I should also point out I busted my first ChatGTP plagiarist yesterday. What a mess. He's going to fail for the quarter because of that stupid thing.

Before I get to the good stuff, I'd like to nominate a novel for the worst book ever. My friend Cunningham recommended it to me because I coach tennis. It is written by a very popular author, Taylor Jenkins Reed. I'm sure she's great at writing about other subjects, but Carrie Soto is Back is the worst depiction of sports I've ever encountered. 

All the details are in my podcast, titled "Carrie Soto is Wack". My wife actually called me while she was driving to tell me how much she loved this episode . . . and she's not one to dole out compliments. Now she thinks I should only make podcasts about books that are awful-- sort of like MST 3000.

I could go on and on about how bad this book is-- and I do on my podcast-- but the strangest thing is that the reviews of it are all positive. And it won the Goodreads Best Books of 2022 Award . . . in the Historical Fiction category. Fucking nuts. The only thing historical about this book is that it took place in the past. 

Now here are the books worth reading . . .

1. Leviathan Wakes by James S. A. Corey

If you like sci-fi, read this book (and the others that comprise The Expanse) and watch the show on Amazon. Great stuff. Realistic sci-fi that occurs within the boundaries of our solar system . . . until the proto-molecule rears its ugly head.

2. The Nineties by Chuck Klosterman

This is required reading for this crew. Klosterman reminds us what it was like to live in a time when it was okay NOT to know something, NOT to have an opinion, and NOT to care. From Waco to Liz Phair, this is a nostalgic trip you shouldn't miss.

If you are some weird youngster perusing this blog . . . you still might want to read this book, so you understand the irony of that Nirvana shirt you're wearing.

3. Lord of Misrule by Jaimy Gordon

One of the best sporting books I have ever read. The setting is a down-and-out horse track in West Virginia in the early 1970s; the book captures the language, the characters, the consciousness, the intrigue, and the grit at the inverse of Churchhill Downs.

I did a podcast on this one: "All the (not so) Pretty Horses."

4. Blacktop Wasteland by S.A. Cosby

Crime, racial division, and fast cars in rural Virginia. 

5. Digital Minimalism: Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World by Cal Newport

I am currently conducting an experiment in digital minimalism. It's going well. This is one of those books that could change your life.

6. Ghettoside: A True Story of Murder in America by Jill Leovy

Jill Leovy uses one South Angeles murder to look at black-on-black violence in traditionally African-American enclaves like Watts and Compton. These places are generally under-policed and justice is rarely meted out. Leovy turns cause and effect on its head, proving that it's not because these places are inhabited by gang members that make them difficult to police . . . instead, it is because they have never been policed with much intensity and intent-- unlike white neighborhoods in the same city-- the denizens have learned to solve their problems outside the aegis of traditional authority.

The book might also change your mind about how gangs work (they are far looser and more disorganized than you might think) and how murders are handled when they are insular and comprised only of African-American men, and it will remind you that you often can't control where you are born and where you live.

7. The Extended Mind: The Power of Thinking Outside the Brain by Annie Murphy Paul

Since this post is all about the number seven, here are seven things I learned from this excellent book on learning and the brain . . .

1) We often use misguided metaphors to describe our brain-- it's not a muscle that grows stronger with exercise (Lumosity does not work) nor is it a computer that works the same in any environment . . . we are more like magpies, building from whatever is available in our environment.

2) We learn better when we are moving, not when we are still . . . as Thoreau said, "Methinks that the moment my legs begin to move, my thoughts begin to flow."

3) Whenever possible, it's good to offload information into the world-- smart people don't memorize everything, nor do they work "in their head," as Richard Feynman points out in the book-- the writing the math down IS the work . . . we should put as much information as we can into writing and charts and gestures and other people.

4) We need to make data into something real in order to understand it, into an artifact-- we need to make the abstract into something concrete.

5) It is good to alter our physical state before, during, and after learning-- this helps us remember and it helps us create.

6) We need to reembody complex ideas-- argue about them, teach them, and speak about them in real time. . . when a teacher lectures the class, emphatically gesturing, asking pertinent questions, and directing all dialogue, the person learning the most about the subject IS the teacher; the learners need to to do these things.

7) You remember things better when they are associated with props, places, and memory palaces.

Happy reading!