My eldest turned 13 last week. We let him have a similar party to his younger brother - a backyard movie showing on a jumbo screen. When the woman showed up to set up, I was taken aback. This was not a young adult who could lug stuff. This was a ~70 year old woman who, while rugged and sporting a knee brace, was clearly a senior. I helped her wheel stuff to our backyard. She told she would be good from there because an assistant was coming.
The woman's name was Tina (fake name). She told me this would be a piece of cake event for her b/c she had been DJing for 37 years. She also told me she was a DJ at our town's "ECLC" school, which is for kids with special needs. So, of course, my mind went right to Matt Dillon in Something About Mary. Am I going to get canceled for that?
As you may be guessing, Tina and I did not get along well. She set up okay and we were cordial at first. I offered beverages to her and her assistant and let them have input on where to set up the screen and the projector. But then things went downhill. They finished setting up as I finished cooking burgers and dogs on the grill. The screen setup we had for this movie was bigger and better than the prior one. The screen was 12' x 9' and there were two large speakers.
Kids sat in their lawn chairs to eat after playing in our front yard and street for an hour. Tina then starts cranking - and I mean CRANKING - some sort of Taylor Swift ballad on the two speakers. It was loud as fuck. It did not go over well with the group of 10-12 12 y/o boys. And it did not go over well with me. I immediately told her to turn it down a lot, amazed she would think that was an appropriate backyard volume at 730 PM, and that a group of boys would want a pop ballad. One kid than asked for hip-hop, and she changed the music.
After the dinner, the kids went to play again and my wife and I started cleaning up. The hip hop was pretty loud. At one point, I heard some sketchy lyrics. My conversation with Tina went like this:
Me: "Those are some aggressive lyrics!"
Tina (dumbfounded): "I'm playing a clean hip hop mix."
Me: "Well, somebody's singing about loving vaginas, and the whole neighborhood can hear it."
Tina: <no response and more dumbfounded looks at me>
(Author's note: pretty sure this was the oldest woman I've ever said the word "vagina" to.)
Fast forward 20 minutes. We gather the kids in the back again to do the cake. All of a sudden, I hear some sort of polka music very loud in the background. I look at Tina and order her to cut the music. I've had it with Tina. I am now ordering her around like she's one of my kids. Her assistant, who was pleasant, young and pretty cute, recognized my ire and stayed out of the way. Tina tells me she plays this music at all her birthdays. I tell her this is not the ECLC and we will sing ourselves.
In the couple moments where I festered on my dislike of Tina, I had full fictional conversation with her in my head. In the conversation, I asked her about when she started. This is how the conversation went in my head:
Me: So you started in 1983?
Tina: Yes.
Me: Did you play a lot of Greg Kihn?
Tina: What?
Me: Greg Kihn. The artist. You like him?
Tina (dumbfounded): Um, I'm not sure. It was a long time.
Me: He's fantastic. You should have played him a lot back in the 80's. You should play him a lot now.
Tina: <no response and more dumbfounded looks at me>
It's a conversation I might have initiated if somebody else was there. It would've been mean-spirited for sure, but funny for me and somebody else to listen to.
In the end, I tipped Tina and her assistant pretty well. I'm not that kind of mercenary, and I no longer fester in anger like I used to. She's an older woman doing manual labor to make ends meet. But she was all kinds of annoying. And I couldn't even pour a few drinks to help tolerate her b/c I had to drive to pick up my other kid at a function across town.
In the end, Rush Hour was a big hit. It is a PG-13 movie from 1998. Even Tina liked it. The movie did not age well, with some N-words and dated stereotypes, and had a few moments where I had to hold back laughter, like the scene below. But the party was a success.
Posts
16 comments:
When you say this is a conversation you might have initiated if somebody else was there, I imagine myself as that somebody. "This is not the ECLC" is the essence of TR distilled, like a fine potato vodka, to five words.
I wish this were a movie. TR as the promoter of decency and decorum vs. a 70 year old lady DJ at a teen b-day party? I'm here for it.
There are several folks in the G:TBshpere that deserve their own movies/tv shows.
Potential of Messi to Man City and then onto NYCFC in three years. MSL gets the best over the hill players who will score a bazillion goals in the league. Sort speaks to the level of play in MSL.
I have seen both Thierry Henry and Wayne Rooney in person at MLS games. They both strutted around the middle of the pitch like they had recently eaten a large meal. They both had amazing vision and played some brilliant long balls to teammates. Henry visibly complained to his teammates all game long whenever they couldn’t execute what he wanted. Rooney seemed a bit nicer.
I enjoy the MLS in person, but it’s tough to watch on the telly.
Evan Lloyd was a big Greg Kihn fan.
I like his album names -- they're fun. "The Breakup Song" is a new wave classic.
bunch of america-hating soccer purists up in here. the mls has been around 25 years as opposed to more than a century for most leagues it gets compared against. when it started, it wasn't any better than us college soccer, and was maybe the equivalent of fourth-division english footy. now, there are mls teams that could compete for promotion from the english championship and most teams would at least hold their own at that level. it's a top-20 league in the world, and that's nothing to sneeze at. it doesn't compare to la liga or the premier league or the bundesliga, and if that's the standard you measure it against, then yeah it might be hard to watch. but it's quality stuff that's getting better every year.
i am loath to proclaim that we're in a moment (been reading sentence of dave to improve my vocabulary. and my admiration for dave's simultaneous brilliance and dumbassery.). i've seen too much not change, and more importantly heard too many people of color - the ones that are actually burdened - shake their heads and say that nothing's going to change. but damn if it doesn't feel like a segment of the sports/entertainment complex is realizing just how powerful they actually are in terms of setting the agenda and calling focused attention to the unrelenting pain of systemic inequality.
dan snyder is every bit the shitbird you thought he was. and larry michael might be worse.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/sports/2020/08/26/redskins-cheerleaders-video-daniel-snyder-washington/?arc404=true
I wish there were more teeth to that story. Something that could force the hand of the NFL to force him out. Snyder is absolute trash and an on-the-record prick, but there’s not evidence of criminal or other behavior that can rally his removal. Maybe I’m wrong. I really hope so.
word
Lake Charles, Loos-ee-ana is gonna get smacked tonight by a big hurricane. May they suffer the minimum amount of damage.
What oft-played song from ‘69 was this town mentioned in?
This Louisiana news is shaping up to be all kinds of awful. Trump must be pissed it’s gonna rain on his parade. Sorry for the bad pun.
I hope little Bessie is hanging in ok up on cripple creek. Trevor Noah's WaPo ad today is pretty epic.
Nicely done, Rootsy.
My #1 shit work employee gave notice today, but still wants to come in and do said shit work on her days off her job with the DMV. It helps me conserve cash, but I doubt that I can get all of the undesirable tasks to align with her schedule.
Happy Birthday to Greg. May you comment here more frequently now that you've turned whatever age it is you turned today.
Post a Comment