I recall that several in the audience are advocates of bidets (bidevotees?) and Japanese robo-toilets with sprayers and dryers and automatic lids and heated seats and such. That the next generation of toilets and waste practices hasn’t caught on here is due largely to the Victorian-era remnant of “ick factor” related to excreta and an unwillingness to even broach the subject. A combination of stigma about human waste and uncleanliness, along with cost of toilets, septic systems and basic sanitation make it a tough sell in many poor and developing countries, as well.
Thursday, May 06, 2021
Seeking Loo-topia
I recall that several in the audience are advocates of bidets (bidevotees?) and Japanese robo-toilets with sprayers and dryers and automatic lids and heated seats and such. That the next generation of toilets and waste practices hasn’t caught on here is due largely to the Victorian-era remnant of “ick factor” related to excreta and an unwillingness to even broach the subject. A combination of stigma about human waste and uncleanliness, along with cost of toilets, septic systems and basic sanitation make it a tough sell in many poor and developing countries, as well.
Wednesday, May 05, 2021
Rob Lasso: Episode Two
“Seems like a Smurf with an attitude would be a lot of fun to watch.” -- Ted Lasso
One of the reasons I coach kids is because it gives me an opportunity to teach life lessons through a game I love. I can help them compete and develop - hopefully in equal measure. So far this season, we're heavy on the latter.After dropping our first game to a strong opponent, we faced a team that's on our level on Friday night. The kids expected to win, or at least thought they had a good chance to grab their first victory.
Before the game, I sat down on the bench with Ab, one of our senior captains. She hadn't played very much in our opening loss. I asked her how she was feeling, and she said, "Discouraged. I didn't play last game."
This was true. Also true was the fact that she didn't pout about it. In fact, she sat on the bench in the midst of a bunch of younger girls and led by example, encouraging the kids on the field, and pointing out nuances in the game to less-experienced kids. I told her that wasn't lost on me, and said that leadership shows up in lots of ways - not just on the field. It sounded good to me, anyway, and I meant it. Hope it means something to an 18 year-old with just a few weeks of high school left.
The game against a county rival didn't get off to a great start. In fact, it was delayed because the referee wouldn't let Ellie (our keeper) play until she put on socks that showed over her long goalkeeper pants. Marv Levy's famous "you're an over-officious jerk" jab came to mind. Once the game got going, the referee issued a yellow card to our coach because one of our players forgot to remove her earrings. Them's the rules, for sure, but maybe this one could've been let go with a warning. The ref's adherence to the minutiae will contrast with his interpretation of a much bigger law of the game later in our story. Foreshadowing!
Speaking of Ellie, as we were, she had a spectacular game. Probably shouldn't have needed to, but her defenders gave up a handful of reasonably easy chances that she parried. She's about 5'3" in cleats, which doesn't make for textbook keeper dimensions, but she's quick and a strong shot stopper. Midway through the second half of a scoreless tie, she stretched way beyond what I thought possible to tip a long drive off the crossbar and keep the game deadlocked.We're a reasonably skilled team, but we're not very physical, and that ultimately cost us. One of our freshmen got bodied off a ball in our defensive half, and the opponent play a quick through ball that sprung their striker. Ellie rushed off her line, but the striker calmly slotted home to put us down 1-0.
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| Under-officious jerk |
Our opponent got a late goal to make the final score 2-0. While we aren't that physical, as I noted above, Jennie did make a mark. She's the Smurf of note from the Ted Lasso quote that prefaces this post. She can't be any taller than 5'0", but she's fast and she's got good ball skills. In this game, she received a yellow card for persistent fouling, crashing into multiple larger opponents with abandon - though I'd quibble with half of the calls that went against her. Natasha's also physical, and a little bit crazy. That'll come back to bite us. Jennie's a killer. Natasha's a mess.
As our head coach told the kids after the game, we've shown a lot more in practice than we have in games. "Can we do it with the lights on?", he asked. That remains to be seen.
We got another opportunity to answer that question just three days later. On Monday, we took on a crosstown opponent with a serious soccer pedigree. They've won three state championships since 2015, and have to be considered a contender this year. During our pregame talk, I supplemented the head coach's tactical advice with an exhortation to "make them feel you", a nod to our need to be more physical. I told them that Friday Night Jennie should be their spirit animal. Which they enjoyed.
And at halftime, the opponent knew they were in a game. The score stood at 0-0, and while we were on the wrong end of the possession and shot on goal stats, we hadn't given up many good chances. By the end of the half, they resorted to longballs and low-percentage shots from distance.
Their coach was frustrated, too, sniping at Dutch about some trifle. Dutch, who's a cool customer and generally fearless, chirped back at him, saying, "Are you really picking a fight with an 18 year-old girl? Grow up." Big Dutch fan right here.We kept them at bay for the first ten minutes of the second half before the dam broke. They scored on a header off of a long cross, then Natasha had a rush of blood to the head and clattered into an attacker in the box, which led to a penalty and another goal. Ellie rushed a clearance from a back pass and drilled it directly into a charging attacker - it deflected right into the goal. And poor marking doomed us to another open header at the back post. It was 4-0 in a span of not more than ten minutes, and we still had 20 more to play.
Funny thing happened next, though. We subbed out Ellie for Ollie, who made her varsity debut in the net, and began liberally getting the rest of the roster onto the field. Ollie quickly made two very strong saves, to her teammates' enthusiastic cheers. Our opponents made a few substitutions, but kept their entire back line intact (all four of whom play at an elite club level). Steph, one of our freshman strikers, drifted to the right side of the field and hit a shass (shot/pass) that floated over the keeper's head for a goal. After we gave up a breakaway to make it 5-1, a freshman midfielder named Sid latched on to a loose ball from about 20 yards out and lashed it upper 90 for the game's final goal. Sid had a rough start to the game, and she's really hard on herself, so that goal may turn out to matter more than a garden variety garbage-timer. Our bench erupted like we'd won the state title.
That moment told me everything I care to know about these kids. Winners as people, despite winding up on the wrong end of a 5-2 score.
We got all 26 healthy kids on the roster into the game, and we proved that we can play with a very strong opponent. We may not win a ton this year, but it looks like we'll have fun.
Tuesday, May 04, 2021
Mother's Day zGift Ideas
TR recently lamented that he has to come up with a lot of gifts for Tiara over a relatively short time span every year. He's especially busy this year so he probably doesn't have time to come up with ideas and it wouldn't surprise me if you're similarly situated. Luckily for you I'm really good at gift ideas--just ask your mother. Here are a few you should consider that worked out well for me.
Yes, this seems stupid. Who needs a $100 heated coffee mug that you control from your phone? It turns out lots of women do. zwoman drinks her coffee really slowly so she ends up microwaving it twice throughout the course of the morning. Her friends are envious of her Ember mug, which makes her enjoy it even more. I did well with this one.
Your phone is filthy. You use it in the bathroom, you let your kids use it, you fiddle with it while you're walking the dog or mowing the lawn or fixing your car or running or whatever else you do with dirty hands. You should clean it from time to time. PhoneSoap is a case that shines UV light on both sides of the phone and you can charge it in there too. UV light is commonly used to purify water because it destroys DNA--even the Australians use it! Again, this sounds silly but it was well-received.
Sneakers
Ladies is pimps too and you should help style them accordingly. Like this if they're sporty and hip, or like this if they're preppy and crisp, or like this if they're French.
Yeah I said it. And I've been saying it for a while. Everyone needs a Toto Washlet. You know who wasn't seriously affected by the toilet paper shortage? zfamily, because we're one-wipe-done after the Toto takes care of business. I haven't researched Washlets in a while but my friend's wife asked me to help her pick one out for his birthday and I steered her towards the C200. She installed it herself as a surprise so you should be able to install one too. Key features are remote control (as opposed to controls mounted on the side of the seat), oscillating nozzle (oscillating is yooodge), heated water, and heated seat. Once a woman uses a heated toilet seat she can't go back. zwoman's homegirls always rave about our warm seat and never pass up a chance to sit on it. Floss the butt crack, make you shiny, spiffy in a jiff indeed.
Everyone should have a mechanical watch. The Timex Marlin comes in various sizes and functionalities, and this 34 mm three-hander is great for a woman's wrist. Swap out the leather strap for a metal bracelet to make it sportier or a nylon NATO to make it more adventurous. The funky Arabic numerals let you do a lot style-wise, and who doesn't want 34 mm of Marlin in their lives?
Monday, May 03, 2021
It's the Holiday Season Again!
What holiday is today, you might hear yourself asking... yourself. Gheorghe is here for you!
I mean, we just ran right past May Day without a mention. What's May Day, you ask?
It is an ancient festival marking the first day of summer, and a current traditional spring holiday in many European cultures. Dances, singing, and cake are usually part of the festivities.
Moose out front shoulda told ya. Hope you had some dances, singing, and cake on Saturday. If not, perhaps some gambling on equine sprinting.
We don't want you to miss any more holidays! So here you go:
Today, May 3, 2021 is:
- National Two Different Colored Shoes Day
- "a day to recognize and celebrate the uniqueness and diversity of humanity"
- Great Lakes Awareness Day
- "celebrates the Great Lakes and highlights the issues they face, and how the lakes can be preserved"
- National Meeting Planners Appreciation Day
- "recognizes the contribution of meeting and convention planners to tourism in their communities"
- National Specially-Abled Pets Day
- National Public Radio Day
- World Press Freedom Day
- Wordsmith Day
- Garden Meditation Day
- "On this day, people go to their garden and leave their troubles outside of it."
- Melanoma Monday
- "raises awareness for melanoma and other skin cancers and encourages early detection of melanoma through self-exams"
- Sun Day
- "Sun Day was created to promote solar power. Sun Day also serves to remind us that the Sun is vital for the life on Earth. Without its light and heat, our planet would be ice-cold and lifeless."
- Paranormal Day
- "for those fascinated with the unknown and mysterious things of the world"
- The link above tells you ways to celebrate it... other than binging on Mulder and Scully.
- National Lumpy Rug Day
- "Remember when that old lumpy rug in your living room used to be smooth and comfy to walk on? Do you find yourself tripping on it now? Well, today you are in luck because National Lumpy Rug Day is a day to toss out that rug and get a new one. There can be a broader view of the day as well. It can be a day for spring cleaning in general. Not only could you replace your lumpy rug, but you could mop the floors, vacuum carpets, clean sinks and countertops, and get everything else in your house ready to go for warmer weather."
Sunday, May 02, 2021
Wish I Knew What You Were Looking For
Thursday, April 29, 2021
Weed, License Plates and LSD: This Week in Drug News
Wednesday, April 28, 2021
Rob Lasso: Episode One
By popular demand (and common sense), we're changing the names of the characters for better readability. For reference, R is now Dutch (her real name is that of a former President's last name), E is Ellie, B is Breezy, A is Ash, K is Kenny, J is Jennie, and O is Ollie.)
“Little girls are mysterious. And silly and powerful. I gave up trying to figure them out years ago.” - Ted Lasso
When we left our squad in the prologue, we'd reached a tentative peace after a bit of intrasquad drama. And goodness gracious if these kids have been anything but supportive of one another. On their own, they:
- organized big/little sister pairings
- designed, collected money for, and had printed custom tie-dyed team t-shirts (Mac, another of our senior captains, spearheaded that effort)
- sorted out a clusterfuck of uniform distribution; trying to outfit 27 kids with uniforms enough for 22 is a test of coaching mettle and patience
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| Jorge Campos, also a short, quirky keeper |
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| Lindsey Horan, also a tall, smooth attacking midfielder |
And then, all of sudden, Kenny got to a ball, and found Kenz, a slight freshman winger, who beat her defender with a nifty feint and delivered a sweet return pass that Kenny ripped...just wide of the keeper. We kept the pressure on, pinning the opposition back for a good five minutes, and our nerves abated.
Midway through the first half, Ellie made a spectacular save on a drive from 10 yards out, tipping the ball over the net. On the ensuing corner, our defenders left two opponents unmarked, and one of them toe-poked a ball into the net. 1-0, bad guys.
Just a few short minutes later, Breezy got turned around our opponents' striker - an exceptional player - who lashed a ball into the top of the goal to put us down 2-0 at the break.
We switched from a 4-4-2 to a 4-5-1 after halftime because our midfield was allowing too much space to our opponent, and we controlled the ball for much of the first portion of the last frame. Kenny stripped the ball in midfield, took one touch, and sprung Kenz, who took a sublime first touch and struck a low hard shot to the far post. The keeper got a hand to it, but deflected it directly into the path of Jennie, a diminutive and speedy winger. Jennie slotted it home, and we were within a goal.
Not three minutes later, the referee spotted a foul that I'm still looking for, and awarded a free kick about 30 yards out on the right wing. The kick found its way to the back post and none of our defenders attacked it, giving the other team an easy goal to make it 3-1. Five minutes later, their stud striker turned another defender and rifled a ball to the top corner of the net, and it was 4-1.
That's probably a fair result, all things considered. We emptied the bench in the final five minutes, and got all but 1 active player into the game. Our friend's niece got her first high school playing time, and acquitted herself well, sticking in on a tackle and making a nice pass.
I remain impressed with how much the kids support one another. Ab, our third senior captain, didn't start and didn't play very much, but she sat with a bunch of underclassmen and talked to them on the bench throughout the game. Several kids were pissed about losing, but none of them took it out on each other. We'll get another shot at this opponent next week. We've got some work to do, but I think it'll be a fun journey.
Monday, April 26, 2021
Sugar We're Going Down Swinging
Supporters of the so-called "Other 14" in English soccer watched with a combination of bemusement and horror last week as the "Big Six" joined with three Italian and three Spanish clubs to launch the European Super League. Turned out the ESL owners were flying with waxen wings, and the sun was shining brightly. Karma, as we know, is a bitch.
Rumors now abound regarding the possible penalties the six English clubs (Liverpool, Manchesters City and United, Arsenal, Tottenham Hotspur, and Chelsea) might face as they return to the fold, tails between their legs. Some reasonably credible folks have suggested they face as much as a 30-point penalty in the standings. In reality, they wield too much power for the English Football Association (FA) to do much more than slap their greedy wrists. I'm guessing a transfer ban of some sort.
But if I'm wrong, and the FA's righteous fury becomes the worst case for the six traitors, well that's at least an interesting thought experiment. At the moment Man City is coasting to a third league title in four years, ten points clear of Manchester United with five matches to play. Here's what the current table looks like:
Imagine for a moment the seismic reshuffling that would result from a 30-point deduction. The top four would be:
- Leicester (59 points)
- West Ham (55)
- Everton (52)
- Manchester City (47)
Unless something changes, Fulham will be relegated for the third time since I've been a supporter of the club. I'm starting to think those greedy dudes who wanted a guaranteed place in the ESL competition might've been on to something.
Come On You Whites! Let's make a miracle. Or let's listen to Bruce Springsteen sing our 2020/21 anthem.
Saturday, April 24, 2021
I Saw a Rainbow
Thursday, April 22, 2021
Rob Lasso: The Prologue
As most of the G:TB family knows, I was hired recently as the head coach of my local high school's junior varsity girls' soccer team. Our man in the OBX hit me up around that time and suggested that I chronicle the season for posterity. To which I thought, postcount! Also, that's a fun idea.
I've coached girls travel soccer for five years now, always as an assistant. I have a lot to learn about the tactical side of the game, but I think I'm pretty good at the cultural elements, and I like building relationships with the kids and watching them grow as players and people. So when I got the head coaching gig, I spent a good amount of time thinking about how I wanted the team to play, planning practices with the expectation that the team would have a mix of experienced players and kids with some athleticism but limited time in the game.As far as my philosophy goes, I want kids to have fun first and foremost, especially at the JV level. It's not worth putting in the effort five days a week if it isn't fun. And I subscribe to Chris Jones' philosophy, which the writer set forth in a Tweet, "I joke about being a great coach, but of this, I am certain: 90 percent of kids respond to praise. Maybe 10 percent want a fire lit. But the vast majority of kids rise to your encouragement. Correct bad play gently, validate good play wildly. Then watch them be stars."
Tryouts started a week ago Monday. And I realized pretty quickly that my plans weren't worth the paper they were written on. Of the 27 kids that came out, 25 were highly skilled, tactically astute, and far more physical than I expected. The other two...have work to do.
On the plus side, my plans are irrelevant, because 27 kids aren't enough to field Varsity and JV teams, so the head coach of the Varsity team quickly decided that all 27 would make the team, and that he'd like my help as a Varsity assistant. As he told the girls that after the last day of tryouts, he was honest about what that meant for playing time. We want all the kids to be part of the program, to get some much-needed socialization during a really strange time for student, and to grow as a group.
We didn't get off to the best start. Several of the best players on the team are freshmen, and they weren't terribly deferential to their elders during tryouts. As the coach announced the plan to keep all 27 athletes, a senior - we'll call her R, and she's a smart, tough defender with a leader's mien - stepped forward and firmly said, "you may be a great player, but you don't get respect because you can play. You get respect because you give respect. So when we ask you to get a ball, or help out with cones, you do it, because we did it, and because we've earned it."We broke that night unsure of how many kids would come back for the first day of practice.
Twenty-seven girls came back the next day. And with the stress of tryouts gone, the team began bonding almost immediately. The awkwardness of the night before was gone, and 27 kids got after it.
You'll learn more about the kids on the team over the coming weeks, though I won't be using any real names because I'm a public school employee and I don't need someone Ghoogling the name of the school and stumbling on my stories about their kids in a blog about dipshittery, weed, and William & Mary basketball. R was named one of the captains, as voted by the team. The niece of an FOG:TB is one of our freshmen, and I've known her mother since she was a teenager. I've coached B, a junior defender, since she was 12, so I've got a friendly face to vouch for me with the other kids. And since I'm an assistant coach, I get to learn with no pressure, and I get to focus on building relationships and coaching individual kids rather than thinking about the entirety of the program.
In Episode Three of Season One of Ted Lasso, the title character says, "For me, success is not about the wins and losses. It’s about helping these young fellas be the best versions of themselves on and off the field." To which I say, amen. Just don't tell the girls I called 'em fellas.
Our first game is next Tuesday. Tune in here next Wednesday for the next episode, and in the meantime, do enjoy the trailer for the second season of Ted Lasso.
Tuesday, April 20, 2021
Listen Up to What's Down with GTB
Gheorghe: The Musical Forum is a great place to experience the latest and greatest in new music, deep cut diamonds in the rough from yesteryear, and music to which we have personal ties.
To wit...
The new:
Rev. Peyton's Big Damn Band... with washboard for Rootsy and a Tally Ho tour date coming up for Rob and Marls...
Dusting off older tunes:
Personal ties:
Monday, April 19, 2021
Gheorghasbord: From Wieners to Cocks
Hope your respective weekends were good. Just a few tidbits to keep the good gheorghies tuning in and the postcount up.
Tubesteaks have dominated the discussion here for a while. Frankfurters, I mean. Question(s)for you...
- Do the meats in the video below count as hot dogs?
- Any interest among the gheorghies?
- Is there some shortage of wiener buns?
On a related note, 6 years ago this article muddied the waters on an ongoing debate of whether a hot dog is a sandwich: National Hot Dog and Sausage Council Announces Official Policy On ‘Hot Dog as Sandwich’ Controversy. The long and short of it was that they claim that hot dogs are in their own category and therefore not lumped into the sandwich category. But check out the USDA Regulatory Definitions of a Sandwich in that link. Thoughts?
30 years ago a few of our guys went through a parallel debate of whether a BLT is a sandwich, with the non-obvious argument throwing its eggs into the "bacon is a topping not a primary meat" basket. This one wasn't and isn't much of a debate, but I certainly enjoyed the ridiculous banter that it offered a while back.
* * * * * * *
It was once written, "Washington: First in war, first in peace, and last in the American League." New York is the epicenter of everywhere anywhere (just as a New Yorker; they'll tell ya). First in business, first in fashion, last in the American League. Meanwhile, rob's Red Sox are in first place, even as he sandbagged our annual case o' beer bet and has the Sox +10 wins versus the modestly Amazin' Mets. Conventional wisdom says those spots will be reversed by Memorial Day, but one never knows...
* * * * * * *
QB Alex Smith retired today. Much will be said about him, and hyperbole will abound, as is de rigueur, but what he did to come back from a gruesome injury and subsequent infections cannot be overstated. He faced amputation and played a couple years later in meaningful NFL contests. His acquisition set the WFT back a costly bit, as it turned out, but the team's fans are Alex Smith fans all the way.
* * * * * * *
Speaking of football, I have twice as much incentive to get to an SEC game this summer. My younger daughter came to the end of her miserable run during the college admission process. It's been a rough road for her and for her peers because of a few factors:
- Would-be rising sophomores from last year who took a gap year and are coming back. According to at least one admission office, one-quarter of their freshman slots were taken by this population, so this year's crop of kids were starting off short-handed.
- The SAT wasn't a requirement this year. My daughter did well (highest in the extended family), so this would have helped her. Instead, it saturated the candidate pool.
- With the effect the pandemic has had on the economy, large state schools (the relative bargains) have been flooded with applications. My girl applied nearly exclusively to large state schools.
- Among other things working against her, some recent grads from her high school were embroiled in a cheating scandal at UVa; that and a progressive push from colleges for DEI and a new era of wokeness did not help the students at this decidedly unwoke preparatory school. Sounds like there's a shake-up a-brewing at Norfolk Academy, though enough of the Board of Trustees all have MAGA stickers on their Bentleys and Range Rovers that it's not a given. I do know that when a high school is more expensive than a number of the colleges for which it offers tutelage and trajectory into, its numero uno metric is college acceptance, and when that ebbs mightily, look the fuck out.
- At least in these parts, it's just been a crappy year to try to get into colleges... and to be a senior. All the fun stuff and privileges have been cancelled, virtual learning sucked, in-person learning was definitely not the same, and now the process of moving forward has been disappointing at best. A friend who's a UPenn alum sits on interview panels for local applicants. He said that they usually have an acceptance rate of 9% to 14% of the kids they see. This year they interviewed 98 applicants. 1 got in.
Sunday, April 18, 2021
A New G:TB Fave
At 10:00 am EST this morning, Barnsley play Coventry in Matchweek 42 of the English League Championship, the second division of the island's professional soccer pyramid. The Tykes have spent but a single season in the Premier League, going up and down in 1997 and 1998.
Now, though, they're in position to make the four-team playoff for the final Premier League promotion slot. And one of the major reasons comes from Edmond, OK.
Momentary interlude for cultural purposes: Barnsley is a town of 90,000 in South Yorkshire, bang in the middle of England. It's eight miles east of Penistone, if one is juvenile. So, really, all of the male Gheorghies. It's a textile town, historically, but it thrives today because of bakeries and the service economy, as I'm told.
But we're here for the Edmond part.
Barnsley's on the precipice of promotion for many reasons, but there's no question that American striker Daryl Dike has made a huge difference. Since he joined Barnsley on loan from Orlando City in the MLS, he's scored eight goals in 14 games. Dike's headed goals in, he's finished sublime buildups, and he's scored goals like this banger against Birmingham (start at the 1:35 mark):
Dike's story is a uniquely American one. His parents emigrated to Oklahoma from Nigeria in that time-tested pursuit of the American Dream. His older brother Bright played in the MLS and for the Nigerian national team. His sister Courtney also played internationally for the Super Eagles. Dike played two years at UVA (not holding it against him) before turning pro. He got his first two caps for the USMNT this year.
And in addition to his athletic prowess, he's an impressive kid, as this interview with Roger Bennett shows:
I going on record here. Daryl Dike is gonna be a household name, at least amongst those who follow American soccer. He's the next Jozy Altidore, and not just because he's a big, strong, striker of African heritage. This generation of American soccer players is building to something promising, and Dike will take his place alongside Christian Pulisic, Gio Reyna, Sergino Dest, Tyler Adams, Zach Steffen, Weston McKennie, Josh Sargent and a bunch of other talents. The times, they are good.
Friday, April 16, 2021
The Decision
Hi guys and gals. I've been AWOL for a while. Life has come at me hard. I will try to keep this post to a reasonable length. It is a surprisingly fitting follow-up to The Teej's post yesterday on the arbitrary ranking of states (which makes me look smart in this post).
Where to begin? We'll start with the pandemic. As some of you know, I left my last Wall Street job at the start of the pandemic (for non-pandemic reasons). I spent much of the last fourteen months being unenthusiastically underemployed as a fractional CFO for growth companies. I also spent a lot of that time looking for a new gig. I was done with a soulless existence on Wall Street. Better said, Wall Street was done with me. After escaping NJ with the family in May 2020 and riding out some of the pandemic in Hilton Head (three weeks) and the Outer Banks (one week), my wife and I realized we never wanted to go back to NJ.
But we did return to NJ. That's where our all our stuff was! I began to focus on jobs out of the NYC area. In the middle of the pandemic, I decided to pursue a career pivot to another line of work in another city. Even my Polish grandmother would have shaken her head at the futility of that initiative. My list of acceptable cities was eclectic, but not random: Atlanta, Charlotte, Tampa, Austin or Denver. We wanted a better quality of life and/or lower cost of living. Warm weather was a nice kicker, but not a requirement. We began to gravitate to Charlotte. Lots of corporate gigs, lots of financial services gigs, two hours to Asheville, three hours to the beach, lots of pro sports options, cheap-as-hell housing, mild weather and a great state college system. We planned to head there in late March and start inculcating our kids into the prestige of UNC Chapel Hill.
But something else came together in March. I got back in touch with an old friend from my MBA days in February (Never underestimate the power of a good professional network, my friends). I accepted a job offer via that friend in March. I started that job in April. I put my house on the market two weeks ago. I accepted an offer one week ago. I got out of attorney review yesterday. No turning back.
I'm moving to the Denver in July. Come visit. It's tough to leave an area where my wife and I have so many friends, and Zman and Juan Carlos are each a world class mensch. But the opportunity to experience something new, while selling my house at an inflated price, is too good to pass up. As I told my wife, whose heart is set on retiring in Hilton Head, this will be the next chapter, but not the last chapter, in our lives, and we will be empty nesters in less than eight years. Go Nuggets.
Thursday, April 15, 2021
Folks, you know what to do*
This list, it is...incorrect. I know the Jersey guys will agree, and why the fuck is the meth lab of democracy ranked 7th? Bump Oregon and Vermont, and drop Texas waaaaaay down. Mississippi, you seem good right there, no no put your hand down, we're not listening.
And Hawaii we see you... nice.
Methodology: 1,211 US adults were asked to choose the better of two states from a list of the 50 US states and Washington, D.C. in a series of head to head match-ups.
*bitch about this in the comments
Wednesday, April 14, 2021
Back to School II: The Quadruple Lindy
I've got a few weeks left in my modern version of the old classic, Back to School. (Yep, I'm Rodney, and by the way, that seemingly innocuous film is totally polarizing among people I know. Teej and I love it, many folks detest it. And don't know the first thing about Kurt Vonnegut.)
Anyway, I'm slated to graduate next month. Just 25 years after my buddy rob did so with the same degree from the same school.
Last week, we had yet another group assignment. This is the first class I've taken in my 3+ years of this program that interspersed students from the full-time MBA program with our program -- a program that I simply call "night school." And calling it night school, of course, can only make me think of one show, one episode, and one glorious scene that will remain close to my conscious for all my days:
But anyway, our group project was based on one of the many Harvard Coursepack cases that we've studied throughout the program. This one is about a guy named Dave Carroll. The basic story is here, encapsulated as such:
"United Breaks Guitars" documents the incredible viral power of social media, analyzing the reach and impact of a clever customer complaint music video produced by Canadian musician Dave Carroll when his attempts to recoup the value of his guitar (broken in transit) are stonewalled for over a year by United Airlines. Posted on YouTube on July 6, 2009, the video was tweeted by Carroll's friends, posted on social news sites, shared with Facebook friends, and picked up by bloggers. From there it was a quick hop to the mainstream media; by the end of July, the video had been viewed 4.6 million times, with external references expanding that audience by many more millions.
The video in question for United Breaks Guitars:
We, Team 7 of the Customer Experience Management class, were assigned this case and took on the role of United after this thing went kablooey, tasked with a 45-minute virtual presentation to the class last Thursday. My four teammates from the full-time program, each of whom was born during the Clinton administration, set about creating a slide deck and talking points. I, meanwhile, with their blessing as the old guy, took on a tangential task of what I figured was the no-brainer inclusion for any presentation on this subject: our own music video.
And then I got some sort of bronchial infection about the same time my second COVID vaccine shot was being sunk into my upper arm. And lost my voice entirely. And was down for the count. Bad times, and my part of this project was certainly in jeopardy.
I was able to rally, write some related lyrics, set some chords to it, and spend some time on my third floor (Les Coole Studios) hastily laying down the track. Gravelly (at best) voice and all. And then winging my way through iMovie, creating some visual accompaniment. We presented it to the class to modest fanfare. Here it is, just for kicks.
Tuesday, April 13, 2021
The Mad Wiener Grab of 2021
Nearly 3 million people have been lost to the COVID-19 pandemic.
Global economies have been disrupted, many industries have been hammered, and the state of the world is, even as we crawl out of this morass with vaccinations, fraught with uneasiness and anxiety.
But we will be fine.
Except . . . wait, what??
"Hogs have been in short supply since the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic more than a year ago. Now analysts are predicting higher prices and a short supply of pork for foods like hot dogs and bacon as restaurants re-open and summer barbecues resume as vaccinations in the US pick up pace."
Apparently America's "pent-up demand for meat" will have trouble being met due to "lower production last year and higher disease losses." In case you didn't know, "the number of market hogs, piglets, and future piglets, dropped 1.8%, 1.4% and 2.5%, respectively." Damn the future piglets, I always say.
What does it mean?
- higher prices on these meats
- fewer discounts
- more people stocking up
- people bargain hunting
- barbecuing being impacted
- people being sad
- people starting to be vegetarian
- no, not really
Also, I got my vaccination shots at/courtesy of Smithfield Foods. Coincidence?
Monday, April 12, 2021
A Quick Hot Take on COVID Vaccine Passports
Some people don't like the idea of COVID vaccine passports because it somehow infringes on liberty or human rights or something like that. This includes Ron DeSantis, the governor of Florida and an alumnus of Yale and Harvard Law School and a former JAG Corps officer at Guantanamo Bay (which is to say a smart guy who knows a thing or two about liberty and human rights).
I think this position is wildly overblown.
If you want to attend public schools you have to show proof of vaccination. Yes, you can obtain a waiver in many states for religious or philosophical reasons, but either way your local school district knows whether your kids have or haven't been vaccinated for various things.
Many other countries require visitors to get vaccinated for Yellow Fever before they can enter. So, for example, if you want to visit Angola or Benin you have to show proof of vaccination. To make this easier, WHO even has an international certificate of vaccination or prophylaxis, or ICVP, to carry with you to these places. A vaccine passport, if you will. So when you go to these places their governments know you've been vaccinated for various things.
If you want to leave the US and go to another country, you need ... a passport! I have one and you probably do too. Getting it required a bunch of paperwork, a photo, a fee, and an inordinately long wait but now I can leave the country and get back in. As a result, the government knows a bunch of things about me and so do the governments of the foreign places I visit. That's just the cost of travel.
Sharing information about yourself with your government is the cost of citizenship. We share health information all the time (see my school example above; see also anyone over 65 who uses Medicare). This circumstance shouldn't be any different.
At the end of the day which is worse: a bunch of bureaucrats knowing that you got the COVID shot, or dealing with more masking/distancing/shutdown precautions? So lighten up Ron.
Saturday, April 10, 2021
Gheorghasbord: What the Kids are Doing
Odds and ends, as usual, inspired by a couple of things I heard from my kids this week.
We have a family friend who attends the College of William & Mary. She's a freshman this year, and she loves it in the Burg. She's a perfect fit: earnest, smart, dorky in a good way. Just a neat kid. My 17 year-old came to me a few days ago and asked, "What did you call the Sunken Garden when you were in college?"
Puzzled, I responded, "The Sunken Garden. Why?"
"Because Tiernan called it Sunky G's on Insta."
"Get the fuck out of here. Sunky G's?"
"Yep. Sunky G's."
And as it turns out, kids at W&M have been calling it that since at least 2015, according to a Google search. I weep for the youth. It's no Tinee Penis, that's for certain.
That same 17 year-old texted our family thread this morning at around 8:00. In and of itself, that's an amazing fact, as she is never awake before 8:30 when she's rousted into surly half-consciousness by whichever parent has girded their loins to face her. The text itself was a doozy:
"taylor swift killed prince phillip"
and we were off.
Sunky G's, man. Shaking my damn head.
Thursday, April 08, 2021
This Week in Wrenball: The Counterfactual
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| Nerrrrrrds |
Wednesday, April 07, 2021
Stick Around Laugh a While
Monday, April 05, 2021
Music Monday
This one's a little different. Got a text from my college-aged kidlet last night with a Spotify link to this song, with the description, "this song goes crazy". With some trepidation, I clicked the link. It's hard to describe. And a fun band name to boot. Dig on it.
Friday, April 02, 2021
Back in Purple
"Yip, yip yip yip" is amusing when it comes from the Martians of the Muppetverse. It's less fun when it describes a professional baseball pitcher who - inexplicably and suddenly - can't throw strikes.
(Did I just sneak a Muppets reference into a post where it had no business showing up? Yes. Yes, I did. It's the little things that make this place genius, friends.)
As I sit in my living room watching the Red Sox host the Orioles in the season's first game at Fenway Park, I'm as far removed from my rabid baseball fandom as I've been in years. But the game (and that place) still bring a smile. And the first week of the season still heralds spring and summer, which my toes - frozen from walking my dog in 25 degree temperatures this morning - desperately need.One of the best stories from yesterday's MLB Opening Day happened in Denver, where the Colorado Rockies took on the defending champion Los Angeles Dodgers. Colorado beat the Clayton Kershaw and the Dodgers, 8-5. That's interesting, but the cool part of the story was the way the game ended. Daniel Bard struck out two and pitched a scoreless ninth inning to record the save for the Rockies.
Bard quietly pitched pretty well in 23 games with the Rockies during last year's bizarro season, posting a 3.65 ERA and striking out more than a batter per inning. Quietly for me, I guess (see above), since he did win the 2020 MLB Comeback Player of the Year award. Before that, you have to go back to 2013 to find evidence of Daniel Bard's baseball career. And therein lies the story.
The Red Sox drafted Bard out of UNC in 2006 after a stellar college career. He reached the majors in 2009, and played a key role as a setup man as the Sox won the World Series. Bard struck out 63 in 49.1 innings that season. He was even more effective in 2010 and 2011, appearing in more than 70 games each season with a sub-1.00 WHIP. Bard looked for all the world like the heir apparent to the mantle of next great closer.
Until he stopped being able to throw strikes. He lost his control, and the Sox spiraled themselves in 2012. Bard walked more men than he struck out that year. He pitched twice in Boston in 2013, and was out of the game - seemingly for good.
Anna Katherine Clemmons wrote a terrific feature on Bard's comeback yesterday for Charlotte Magazine. It tells the story of the time Bard spent away from the game. Or at least off the mound. While he battled mental challenges, he used his experience to mentor players in the Arizona Diamondbacks system. When the players he was coaching saw him throw, they wondered why he was coaching and not on the mound.Finally, he decided to give it another shot. At the time, his wife Adair was nervous, “I knew it was a serious thought, which made me excited and terrified at the same time.”
The Rockies signed him, and Bard showed that the electric stuff of his youth was still there. And he showed that he could control it. I'll give Clemmons the final word, "However this season unfolds, Bard has his family, his comeback, and his shift in perspective. One key to control, it turns out, is letting go of it. It’s a game, he tells himself nowadays. Just go throw the ball. If you enjoy it, keep doing it. If not, do something else. “For a long time, I put a lot of pressure on myself that I had to live up to this expectation,” he says. “But life in general—baseball especially—only has as much meaning as you assign to it.”
(Okay, not exactly the last word. As I posted this, I noticed that we already had a 'daniel bard' label. I found that odd. So I searched it, and found this post from 2014. In it, I lament Bard's painful fall from grace, and hope that he finds a way back to the bigs. And so he did. Right on, Daniel Bard.)
Also, I did want an excuse to post this:
Thursday, April 01, 2021
April Fool's Gold
It's been a cow's age since an April Fool's joke really hit home for me. Might have been as long ago as 1982, when Jimmy Damron showed up for pregame warmups for the Alabama state championship soccer game with a walking boot on his foot. Jimmy was one of our best players, and we were fucked without him. He took the boot off to much amusement. We lost in a shootout. Good one, though, Jimmy.
So we won't be trying to pull any of that nonsense on a crowd as discerning at this one. Instead, we'll celebrate some stuff about fools.
Like the Stone Roses song Fool's Gold. Classic late 80s/early 90s British Madchester alterna-dance. I won this CD from the campus radio station at W&M. It's not exactly a banger, but it's got a funky vibe and you can nod your head to it.
Well, there's the premier episode of Yacht Rock, entitled "What a Fool Believes," if anyone still... still hasn't watched it.




























