Gheorghasbord

Truly a wide range of cultural flotsam that's tickled my fancy and/or given me cause for consideration over the past week or so. From sports to music to current political events, as always, we span the globe to keep you entertained.

I mentioned the kerfuffle the Sullivan brothers of the MLS Philadelphia Union got into against Inter Miami a few days ago. I told you to find the video. I know you, so I'm sure you didn't. So here it is. You'll see Quinn Sullivan (the older of the brothers at 22) get disrespected by Miami defender Ian Fray (Fray put his nuts on Sullivan's head) and respond with a textbook bodyslam. Cavan Sullivan (potentially the best 16 year-old male player the U.S. has ever developed) rushes to his brother's aid and squares up with Miami's much-taller Yannick Bright. Holds his own, too.

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There's actually a G:TB connection here, tenuous though it may be. Quinn Sullivan has dated a girl who grew up in my neighborhood for several years. My wife and I are good friends with her mom. She played at Radford and did a year as a graduate transfer at the University of New Hampshire. Where she met and became friends with...Yannick Bright. Small world, y'all.

Also, remember the name Cavan Sullivan. He's contributing significantly to Philly's attack this season, with six goals and nine assists in 25 matches across all competitions. Despite the fact that he's 5'7" and 150 pounds, he's tough and strong and unafraid to mix it up with older and stronger men. He's been under contract with Manchester City since he was 14, and will almost certainly head to Europe when he's old enough for the appropriate visa. Says here he'll be a USMNT mainstay for the next 15 years.

Speaking of balls, which we were, at least obliquely, check out this scene from a recent Kacey Musgraves concert:

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And veering wildly from the ridiculous to the profound, I commend to your attention New York Times columnist Jamelle Bouie. The Virginia Beach-born, UVA-educated (nobody's perfect) is one of the clearest thinkers and writers about the current American moment. He writes a great deal about the politics of race and culture, but he's good on a wide range of topics. This video essay offers typically-thoughtful advice to the Democratic Party should it find itself in the majority in Congress after November's midterm elections. I sure hope the party leadership is listening.

Gheorghasbord: The Slimmining

Been an active three weeks or so for your boy, and I'm working on the comprehensive travelogue. I'm not saying it's on a Gheorghemas Day 12 schedule, but I'm not not saying that. I jumped on the scale this morning after a strict three-day regimen of PBR, Red Stripe, and gobs of tuna and was nonplussed, to say the very least. Gonna be doubling down on fiber and vegetables the next few days ahead of my annual physical on Wednesday.

All that's to say that the brain is a day or two away from firing on even one cylinder, so you'll get what you get.

I promise I'll stop hyping Michael Brennan at some point, but I find it very cool to see kids that are friends with mine doing big stuff in the world. Here's the moment after his win at the Wyndham Championship where his mom told him he's headed to Augusta. 

Easiest way to earn a trip to Augusta National? Win. pic.twitter.com/WON4Q2TIYh

— PGA TOUR (@PGATOUR) August 9, 2026

Here's a picture I took last year from the dune protecting the venerable Martha Wood Cottage from the ravages of the Atlantic Ocean. Possibly the best photo I've ever taken. Looks better the larger you make it. Feel free to use it for your own ends.

That's all I got, y'all. Gimme a few days.

Gheorghasbord: All Filler, No Killer

Clearing the decks to get our week off to a good start. We've got dogs, and dudes, and all manner of flotsam. I'm Maine-bound on Friday to take Rootsy's place as the G:TB ambassador to its rivers and lakes, so don't expect to hear anything from me for a few days. Keep the place running, won't you.

News you can use from The Guardian, "According to the Vets Now, dogs’ brains have more cannabinoid receptors than humans’, so marijuana tends to affect a dog more than it would a human." This is relevant to Tokyo, a 25 kg (55 lb) lab who accidentally ingested marijuana left on the trail at UK's Ben Nevis mountain. The poor pup lost consciousness after he legs began to give out as she and her owner made the ascent. 

Thankfully, the Lochaber Mountain Rescue Team was quick on the job, helping get Tokyo off the mountain and to the hospital, where she made a full recovery. 

We've all been there, good girl

Tributes continue to pour in for Sam Neill, who passed suddenly yesterday. In marked contrast to the way U.S. Senator Lindsey Graham has been remembered, the 78 year-old Neill seems to have been universally loved for both his art and the generosity of his spirit. He also seems to have been a man of whimsy, as this pandemic-era video shows:

Very few players will exit the World Cup having burnished their credentials on and off the pitch more than Norway's Erling Haaland. The Striking Viking (just made that up, but others can feel free to use it free of charge - man of the people) scored seven goals in Norway's five matches, helping lead his nation to its best-ever result. 

Watchers of the game already knew about his talent and preternatural scoring acumen. Haaland's genuine personality and willingness to express it are what took him from Premier League star to global icon. As of today, Haaland has more Instagram followers than Manchester United. Like Sam Neill, Haaland appears both interested in the world and unafraid to be himself. So while I will continue to despise his club, I find it very hard now to not root for the man.

Gheorghasbord: Things I'm Late To

I like to think I'm generally fairly clued-in to the pop culture zeitgeist, at least for the parts of it I care the most about. Namely, sports and certain types of music. I have no idea who most actors or pop musicians under the age of, say, 40 are. I know way too much about politics - that shit is slowly breaking my brain. Perhaps not so slowly, if you listen to my wife.

Today I'm sharing a trio of things that I've become aware of recently, though others got there well before me. One of them's a dramatic series, and the other two should've been in my wheelhouse.

For my money (not much to speak of), Cillian Murphy is the best actor going. He was terrific in Oppenheimer, which is the first time I really became aware of him. Turns out the Academy Award-winner has done some other stuff. So now I'm three episodes into Peaky Blinders, and friends, Murphy's portrayal of up-and-coming Irish gangster Tommy Shelby is spectacular, all simmering rage and cold calculation. Turns out it ran for nine damn years and they made a feature film. Who knew? Guess I've got some catching up to do.

About six months ago, the algorithms started pushing a somewhat oddly-affected musician into my feeds. Stephen Wilson, Jr. is a 46 year-old musician who blends country and rock in ways that hit the chords I like. The Indiana native sounds like nobody else, though. His playing is sublime, and his voice is haunting, emotional, rasping and raw. He's been making music since he left his job in research and development in Mars' food science department in 2016. Can't believe it took me this long to hear about him. Wilson is playing The Dome in Virginia Beach in late July, if you know anyone in the area.

This cover of 'Stand By Me' from a year ago or so is the first thing I heard him perform:

And here's his single, 'Gary':

Turning to sports, check out this statistical excellence: 20 pitching wins and 20 homers in consecutive college seasons, the first time that's ever happened; career record of 91-17, with a 1.29 ERA and 937 strikeouts in 687 innings; career batting line of .514/.842/1.356; led Nebraska to its first College World Series since 2013, homered in their final game while also taking a no-hitter into the sixth inning of an eventual loss to Texas.

Oh, and that last game? She did that while she was pregnant.

I give you Jordy Frahm, friends. The Nebraska native started her career at Oklahoma, where she was a standout pitcher for the powerhouse Sooners. She came home to help lift the moribund Nebraska program (the NIL money she got certainly did not hurt, if we're being fully transparent) and got to hit and pitch - that's where her 20/20 feat took place over the past two seasons.

And after the Huskers lost to Texas and were eliminated from the Women's College World Series, Frahm and her husband Trey announced that their family was about to grow.

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I'd like to see Shohei Ohtani top that.

Gheorghasbord, Young and Dumb

We live in crazy-ass times. Let's explore the most recent examples of absolute batshit insanity our increasingly unbalanced species has been up to, young dipshit male edition.

Let's start with a real headline from a Vice.com article posted on May 5: "Inside Ballmaxxing, the Niche Practice of Inflating Your Balls to Cantaloupe Size".

Where to start, my friends. 

If you're not familiar with the 'maxxing' phenomenon, first let me congratulate you on escaping that knowledge. You may wish to stop reading now.

It started with looksmaxxing, and we'll let Wikipedia explain that to us, at least from an academic perspective:

Looksmaxxing is an online self-improvement practice focused on the process of maximizing one's physical attractiveness. The term is a neologism which was coined on incel message boards in the 2010s. Previously, the phrase had limited usage on obscure internet forums, but was popularized on TikTok by primarily male content creators in the early 2020s. The term has commonly been associated with the black pill ideology, which espouses that female sexual selection is primarily based on external physical qualities such as height and attractiveness, while qualities such as kindness and personality are ignored or even cause rejection. Looksmaxxing is very broad in the methods used to improve appearance; they can range from benign practices such as skincare routines and gym use, to more extreme interventions, such as invasive cosmetic surgery and usage of anabolic steroids.

Another notorious looksmaxxing practice is literally hitting oneself in the jaw with a hammer in an attempt to create chiseled cheekbones. When I was a young(er) man, we did some dumb peacock shit to try (and mostly fail) to get women to notice us, but I feel like we've failed this generation.

Which leads us to ballmaxxing, wherein one injects saline solution into one's testicles in an effort to increase their size, for...reasons. In a scientific survey I conducted in my home last night, 100% of women questioned said, "Why the fuck would you do that? Does any woman care about what your balls look like?"

Lifetime ballmaxxer Marcus is not deterred by the science. As noted in the Vice.com piece, he "got his scrotum stuck in a toilet once after a two-liter session. The skin tore. He’s still healing. His next move is adding 30 cubic centimeters of Surgilube to the left side and 20 to the right. “That should be ‘perfect,’” he says."

Less than perfect, the story of another young, dumb, lost man. Dalton Eatherly is a 28 year-old Tennessee native. He makes viral-hopeful videos under the name Chud the Builder. Clever, perhaps not so much. The white Eatherly's schtick is nearly as clever as his nom de dipshit. He seeks out confrontations with black people, using racial slurs and other offensive language to provoke them into video-worthy "content".

On Thursday, the finding out met the fucking around. Eatherly was booked on charges of attempted murder, employing a firearm during a dangerous felony, aggravated assault and reckless endangerment with a deadly weapon after he shot a man outside the Montgomery County, TN courthouse. He got into a fight that led to him shooting multiple rounds, hitting his opponent while also shooting himself in the leg. 

May the Lord have mercy on our collective souls.

Gheorghasbord

We're all over the place today. Spanning the brain, if you will. Which is a lot better than trepanning the brain.

Mac McClung is Crash Davis. The Gate City, VA native (and that is absolutely the middle of nowhere) scored 59 points against the Birmingham Squadron late last month to become the G League's all-time leading scorer. McClung is a viral video legend, his high school hoops exploits making him larger than life. After a collegiate career with Georgetown and Texas Tech, the 27 year-old hasn't yet found a foothold in the NBA. Ain't from a lack of trying. He's now scored 5,335 points in the G League, and was just named the 2025-26 league MVP.

He's on a two-way contract with the Bulls, and he's seen time in eight NBA games this season, so perhaps there's hope yet.

We've celebrated crazy foodstuffs, and we do love some stupid fashion, so it's only natural that we're suckers for the intersection of the two. Our good friends at KFC, those envelope-pushing loons, offer us this bit of sartorial splendor:

I know what you're thinking. "rob, is that a...pickle jacket"? Friends, that is a pickle jacket. Allow the good people at Foodbeast to explain:

KFC’s Pickle Puffer sounds like something the internet would joke about once and move on from. Instead, KFC UK turned it into a real thing.

The KFC Pickle Puffer jacket takes the idea at face value. It’s a wearable puffer packed with sliced pickles and pickle brine, finished with a built-in straw so you can sip straight from it. It’s absurd, fully committed, and somehow right on time.

The drop ties directly into KFC UK’s limited-time Pickle Mania menu, which pushes the same energy across the board. The lineup includes a Pickle Burger, Pickle Loaded Fries, Frickles, and a Pickle Pepsi Max that’s already dividing people before the first sip.

I nominate Marls to buy one and wear it to the next Gold Cup steeplechase races.

And finally, we come to celebrate an obsession turned profession. Jack Coyne loves music, he likes people, and he's great at laughing. Coyne is the host of the man-on-the-street music TikTok/IG sensation Track Star. The conceit is simple: Coyne interviews a contestant, gives them a pair of Beats, and offers $5 if the interviewee can name the track he chooses. From there, it's a series of double-or-nothing tunes.

At least that's how Track Star got started. Now, Coyne and his team play the game with luminaries from the music and film worlds, and the videos are routinely terrific. Coyne clearly loves music, and he curates tunes that go deep into his guests' worlds. He himself is a goofy, likable everyman - the formula works.

If you haven't seen Track Star before, here's Coyne with music junkie Cillian Murphy from a few weeks ago:

I fully believe Les Coole would excel in this venue. Let's make it happen.

Special Gheorghasbord: World Cup Edition

We're 86 days away from the start of the 2026 World Cup, when Mexico hosts South Africa in Mexico City. Until that time, the organizers will no doubt be holding their collective breath, hoping no more ill-fitting Florsheims will drop. 

Meanwhile, the first (and I'm betting only) recipient of the FIFA Peace Prize is stumbling oafishly through one ill-conceived international crisis of choice after another. His pointless war with Iran may cost the tournament a participant, as the Iranians have made noises questioning whether they'll participate in the event. Says here they won't be the last country to consider withdrawal, and that more than one nation will have a difficult time securing visas for their athletes.

At the same time, America's global follies seem to be off-putting to fans of other nations, who aren't yet booking travel to the U.S. in predicted numbers. This is a shocking turn of events. Harry Carr, Pivot Hotels & Resorts’ senior vice president of commercial optimization, told Forbes, “We are much less bullish about World Cup than we were three months ago," adding that "FIFA sent back some of the company’s room-block holds without a single reservation having been made for the tournament."

Let's be clear about something. I loathe FIFA and its still-corrupt fuck you, pay me approach to the global game. I hate that our President and his toadies will likely try to wrap themselves around the flag while the World Cup take place here (and in Mexico and Canada). I won't be paying the extortionate prices for tickets to a live match. 

But I'll be watching all of it, goddammit. I'm a weak and predictable man.

And while I watch, I'll be enjoying the USMNT's kits. One of them, anyway.

The Athletic released an interesting piece yesterday about the design process for this year's kits. Seems the players were less than thrilled by 2022's fairly basic look and wanted a say. The athletes wanted something iconic, and they wanted something they could wear with jeans to the club. Seriously.

Fair to say Nike delivered on both counts. 

The home kit is uniquely American, with the stripes of the flag waving and offering a sense of motion. I assume (hope) they'll pair it with blue shorts and white or blue socks. It's distinctive, evocative, and even fun. 

On the other hand, the away kit is much more reserved. It's a deep, near-black Navy blue with metallic stars that'll be visible up close but hard to make out at a distance. The badge and the Nike logo are designed to blend into the shirt, as well. Hoping for white shorts and matching socks for this one, which I find just okay. It'd look good with a pair of light-wash jeans, though, and it seems to be the favorite of many of the players.

86 days. Let's hope we get there.

Gheorghasbord: Bright Spots

The times, my friends, are a bit gray and gloomy. Bleak, even. It's easy to wallow in the mire. Fortunately for you, we've got a wee bit of the tonic to help see forward to a brighter time.

Janjay Lowe was born in Monrovia, the capital of Liberia (and one of two world capitals to be named for a U.S. President, at least until Trump renames Caracas). When he was seven, he was adopted by an American family and grew up in Chattanooga, TN. In 2017, he started recording music under the name Mon Rovîa, and his sound has evolved since then to encompass a wide range of influences, including rap, R&B, trap, and more recently, folk.

I first came across him via some algorithmic magic that pushed him into my Instagram feed, and I quite dug his sound. Like the Avett Brothers and Mumford and Sons before him, I was really pleased this week to hear a band I first heard in general obscurity get a little bigger, as The Current out of Minneapolis played his music over their airwaves. Bet we hear more - this dude is dope.

Speaking of obscurity, if I gave you ten guesses, could you tell me what Bødo/Glimt is? If you know me, I suppose you might, but I bet most folks couldn't. But there's a pretty good chance Bødo will earn its way into the UEFA Champions League (UCL) quarterfinals next week.

So its a soccer club. From Norway. That over the past two months has defeated Manchester City, Atletico Madrid, Inter Milan (twice), and Sporting Club of Portugal. The most recent of those victories, 3-0 over Sporting in the first leg of their UCL Round of 16 match on Wednesday, leaves Bødo on the precipice. Win, draw, or lose by two or fewer in the return match in Lisbon next week and the Norwegians become the first team from their country to this far since Rosenborg in 1997.

The how is as interesting as the what. Most small clubs that face larger, more talented foes tend to bunker in, hope to steal one on the break or get a match to penalties. Bødo certainly understand their limitations, and they start with disciplined defense, but when they get the ball, they explode into the attack, blasting forward with as many as eight men. They scored three goals in wins over Sporting, City, and Inter (and then two in their second win). Dudes want to play. 

Here's some fan-centric video from the 8,700 or so that helped Bødo get past Sporting. It's the good shit.

Finally, a bit of personal news. Not entirely ready to call it a bright spot, but I suppose it's a light in a tunnel. My mother, and her mother before her, is very into genealogy. As a result, we can document our family's history in the United States from before the beginning. We're Mayflower folk, y'all.

Some of us were a bit squishy on that whole revolutionary fervor thing back in the day. My kin are New Englanders from way back, and some of them backed the mother country. Before and during the Revolutionary War, a handful of my crown-positive people packed their wagons and decamped to Nova Scotia, where they stayed for three generations or so.

On a parallel timeline, Canada was growing all up. Our paths crossed, legally, in December, when our neighbors to the north had a reckoning. For years, Canadian citizenship was limited to native-born folk and those one generation after. In December, though, all heck broke loose. The Canadian Supreme Court ruled that the previous rules were unconstitutional, and opened the door to new paths to citizenship for anyone that can prove direct Canadian lineage.

Friends, I can prove direct Canadian lineage, thanks to my Mom and hers. I don't necessarily want to avail myself of my newfound affinity for things maple leaf, but it's nice to know I have options. Been a big Gordon Lightfoot and Tragically Hip fan from way back, in case anyone's questioning my bona fides.

Here's a song about all the Gords - if Random Idiots were Canucks, they coulda written this one:

Gheorghasbord: Good for the Gander

This post started as a comparative analysis of Geese and Goose. The bands, not the birds. It was inspired, really. And then like so many of my inspirations, it sorta petered out and took a nap. But now it returns, like the salmon to Capistrano, part of a widely-ranging selection of things that my brain found interesting this week.

The New York Times calls Goose a "jam band with indie-rock undertones". See what you think:

The same NYT writer asks us to "think of Geese as an indie-rock band with jammy elements". Sure, man. Here they are recently on Saturday Night Live. I think I like them better than their fellow-feathered act.

Turning to things sporting, Thursday marks both the eve of the 2026 Olympics and the opening match of the 2026 Six Nations. Holders France host 2023 and 2024 champs Ireland at the Stade de France in a gigantic match, both in terms of the quality of the teams and the impact on the outcome of the event. The French are the consensus favorite to repeat as champions (8/11 on Betfair), while the recently-banged-up Irish (6-1) are third-favorite behind England (5/2). Scotland comes in at 12-1, while Wales (55-1) and Italy (125-1) will once again drag at the back.

Thursday's opener will air live on Peacock from 3:10 ET. The NBC streaming option will carry all of the tournament action.

And finally, sticking with athletic competition, check out this spill veteran skiing star Lindsey Vonn took a few days ago in Crans-Montana, Switzerland:

Vonn, who returned to competition in 2025 after several years away in retirement, has been the best women's downhill racer on the world circuit by some measure. Since the beginning of December, she's finished no worse than third, and won twice in five races. 

She suffered a complete rupture of the ACL in her left knee during the crash at Crans-Montana, ending her dream of a return to the Olympic podium...wait...I'm being told that...she's still going to race in Milan-Cortina? With a brace on her COMPLETELY RUPTURED ACL?!?

Well I'll be goddamned.

Gheorghasbord: Yang (aka The Pick Me Up)

Been a minute since I gave you the yin, a sobering view of the current state of affairs. I promised you the other side of the coin, a joy-filled palate cleanser, so here it is. 

The FIFA men's  World Cup has expanded to 48 teams for next year's event in the U.S., Mexico, and Canada. Don't overthink it: as the great Georgio Chinaglia was wont to say, it's the money, you moron.

I think it'll be bad for the event, at least in the early stages. More mediocre teams against the world's top sides means more lopsided results. It's a bit reminiscent of the women's version in 2019, when the U.S. memorably pasted an overmatched Thailand by a 13-0 tally. I don't know if Germany will drop a baker's dozen on New Caledonia, but I also don't think I'd care to watch that match.

The silver lining to FIFA's greed-grab (or, more simply said, FIFA) is that we get more celebrations as teams unaccustomed to the World Cup stage qualify for the event for the first time, or the first time in decades. 

And so I give you celebration this fine morning:

Cape Verde qualified out of Africa, the first time the Blue Sharks have ever made the big bracket.

Cape Verde after they qualified for the 2026 World Cup
byu/Shroft insoccer

Ireland trailed Hungary heading into stoppage time, then scored twice to keep their hopes alive. Go to the 4:00 mark to see Troy Parrott's third goal of the game, the one that means the Irish qualify for the UEFA knockout round.

Cape Verde set a record as the smallest nation to ever qualify for the World Cup. And then Curacao beat it. The island nation has a population of 155,000, or roughly one third of that of my county. I'm putting a squad together for 2030.

Full time scenes at Jamaica vs Curaçao
byu/Critical_Mountain851 insoccer

Incredible scenes in Curaçao after their historic world cup qualification
byu/Shroft insoccer

Scotland and Denmark were knotted at two late in their match, with the Scots needing a win to clinch qualification. See the video at 18:51 for Kieran Tierney's go-ahead goal and 21:50 for Kenny McLain's clincher from midfield.

And finally, no nation had to overcome more than Haiti, who haven't played in a World Cup since 1974 and weren't permitted to host any qualifying matches due to unrest at home. They went ahead and qualified anyway.

Joyous scenes as Haiti, who have not played at home in four years due to civil unrest, qualify for their first World Cup since 1974
byu/turmericist insoccer

Gheorghasbord: Yin

Got a selection of odds and ends for you over the next few days. Gonna do a bit of yin-yanging, if you will. Even if you won't. Not stopping me. 

Today, we'll start with the bleak, the dark, the cowardly buffoonery that's helping to enable it.

Sarah Kendzior is a journalist, author, and researcher. She's studied and written extensively on the rise of Donald Trump and his coterie of ghouls - and the cultural conditions that enabled it. She writes a newsletter on Substack, and posted a beautifully stark piece yesterday, which included the following thought: 

A government shutdown was always the goal. The premature ending, the stripping for parts, the theft without pretense of duty. The open abandonment of the public good. The apathy at abandonment and the avarice in apathy. The slaying of seasons, the torture of time, the collapse of chronology: when promises turn to premises and premises to pixelated dust. There is honor in real dust: this is not that.

When you are ruled by a technocratic death cult, the concept of leverage changes. A general strike does not pose the same threat to the powerful when their goal is to destroy the national economy. A protest does not have the same impact when officials are devoid of shame. A spectacle does not hold the same power when AI lies are generated with a whisper to a soul-stripping robot. A vote is an illusion when elections lack integrity. Calling your representative is a grim farce when your representative serves transnational oligarchy — and sells it American sovereignty.

We'll follow up that softly-whispered damnation with a more forceful condemnation from Ta-Nehisi Coates. Speaking at an event in Minneapolis, Coates offered this measured and typically cutting critique of the institutions and individuals whose cowardice has defined this era:

@mikosataylorcoaching Just saw Ta-Nehisi Coates live in Minnesota and y’all… his words were a balm to my soul. No fluff. No filter. Just truth. 🖤 “You don’t have to fix it all—you just have to be human where you stand.” That part. 🎤 Thank you @StKates + The O’Shaughnessy for this space. 📚 Support Black authors. Listen when they speak. Share their work. #TaNehisiCoates #msp @St. Catherine University #SupportBlackAuthors #BookTok #BlackWritersMatte ♬ original sound - Mikosa Taylor | Business Coach

I might've chosen any one a dozen other fucking things to close with, but here's one that gives us tragedy and comedy in equal measure. Last week at a protest in Oakland, an ICE agent appears to have shot a tear gas canister into the face of local minister Jorge Batista, the aftermath of which you can see below (there's video, but it's not a fun watch).

A different angle of the confrontation reminds us that ICE and its agents aren't some unbeatable monolith. Rather, they're largely undertrained, scared, and overmatched. See, as an example, what certainly appears to be the urine stain on the shooter's pants, right where it would be if one were to piss oneself in fear.

We're gonna beat these losers. Because there are more of us than there are them, and because the cause of righteousness will bring more and more people to it as time goes on. In the meantime, keep calling out their cowardice, disgraceful un-Americanism, avarice, and general goddamn weirdness.

Gheorghasbord: Spanning the Globe

In which I chronicle various oddities in an increasingly futile effort to block out the immensely insane fuckery loosed upon the land.

Did you know that Phil Hartman was an accomplished album cover designer? Neither did I. Freelance arts writer Conor Herbert recently wrote a detailed piece examining Hartman's pre-fame, indeed pre-comedy work as a graphic designer. Hartman designed more than 40 covers, including this one from Poco.

In news of an entirely different sort, connected to Hartman only via Canada, here's a headline you might enjoy:

Man arrested for driving toy Barbie Jeep on northern B.C. street

It was 9:00 am in Prince George, British Columbia on Friday, September 8, and the Royal Canadian Mounted Police were in no mood for shenanigans. When they got word of a grown-ass man driving down the road in a pink Barbie Jeep, they swung into action.

“While it might seem to some to be an inefficient use of police time to pull over a driver in a toy car, the risk the driver was creating to other motorists on the road who were forced to go around him, coupled with the risk to himself as other drivers are not in the habit of looking for toy cars on the busy road, was enough to warrant police attention.”

Dudley Do-Right, on the case.

And finally, a brief and entirely inadequate appreciation of the end of an era. Last week, Ray Hudson announced his retirement from broadcasting, ending more than 50 years in soccer as a player, coach, and one of the all-time greats in the booth. We celebrated him at least once, which isn't nearly enough for one of the singular voices in the sport.

If you've got a few minutes, give this compilation of Hudson's calls a listen. It'll perk you right up. Magisterial!

Gheorghasbord: More Good Stuff

We live in times that are often not...good. But we got to spend the weekend here enjoying a lot of good, courtesy of Donna, and that felt...good. So in that spirit, we're gonna let the good times roll. 

No big deal, y'all. We just sorta solved AIDS. In June, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approved a drug called lenacapavir as a vaccine to be taken by people at risk of HIV twice-yearly. During clinical trials, the drug was 100% effective in protecting cisgender women. The effectiveness drops to 96% for men who have sex with other men, considerably higher than previously-tested treatments. This would seem to be pretty fucking important.

Not only did Ichiro Suzuki get inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame, he did it in style, with a funny and touching speech. 

To wit:

@yahoosports Ichiro Suzuki had jokes in his Hall of Fame speech 🤣 (via @MLB) #ichiro #ichirosuzuki #mlb #baseballhalloffame #miamimarlins ♬ original sound - Yahoo Sports

Here's the whole thing:

Trinity Rodman has battled a back injury for months. She last played for the Washington Spirit on April 12, coming off the field that day in pain. She spent the time between then and now rehabbing, often in places she went with her boyfriend, tennis star Ben Shelton. And yesterday, she finally got back on the field.

Rodman subbed into a 1-1 game against the Portland Thorns in the 76th minute. Early in stoppage time, she took a flick-on from Croix Bethune, and did this (check out Bethune's preaction):

It simply had to be Trinity Rodman 🥹 pic.twitter.com/gYkd1TgcvG

— National Women’s Soccer League (@NWSL) August 3, 2025

She ran to the side of the goal and buried her hands in her face, breaking down in happy tears. That's the good shit.

Gheorghasbord: Keepin' It Movin'

Iran and Israel might not know what the fuck they're doing, but we here at G:TB HQ sure do. One day at a time, sweet Jesus. One day at a time.

Big day in the Big Apple, as NYC Democrats head to the polls to select their candidate in this autumn's mayoral race. Bigfoot Andrew Cuomo, who we last saw resigning from the his position as Governor of New York in disgrace, leads in most pollsters' counts on the eve of the primary. But upstart state legislator Zohran Mamdani has closed to within a hair's breadth of the machine pol. 

Mamdani's campaign has been fresh, and inclusive, and people-driven - all the things the Democratic Party claims to want. Cuomo's has been a drab rehash of the same old same old, fronted by a dude who's credibly accused of sexual harassment by 13 women and of falsifying COVID death counts in nursing homes during his time in Albany. Team Cuomo has trotted out Bill Clinton, James Carville, and Harvey Weinstein as endorsers (possibly not one of those), while Mamdani has managed to secure the cross-endorsements of two of his chief rivals in the race (important in NYC's ranked choice voting process) and notably, Kid Mero.

Longer post to follow on this point, but if the institutional party manages to drag Cuomo over the line, the result will validate the significant majority of younger voters who don't think the Dems have anything to offer them. I'm hoping Mamdani (not because I care much about NYC politics, but because I think a Mamdani win would signal possibility more broadly) and fully expecting to be disappointed and (more) disillusioned.

In the meantime, as the NBA season ends and MLB enters the grind portion of the schedule, there's a shitload of footy on offer (possibly too much, if you value player health). Here in the U.S. alone, the newest iteration of the Club World Cup and the CONCACAF Gold Cup are taking place at the same time. 

The former features 32 clubs from around the globe, from the bluest of European bloods like Real Madrid, Bayern Munich, and Juventus, to proud South American outfits like River Plate, Boca Juniors, Palmeiras, and Botafogo, to entertaining African sides like Mamelodi Sundowns and Wydad AC, to Asian teams like Urawa Red Diamonds and Ulsan, to MLS' own Inter Miami, LAFC, and Seattle Sounders, and all the way to minnows like Auckland FC (outscored 16-0 through two matches).

Quality has been mixed, as has fan reaction in the U.S. (for me, it's a case of oversaturation), but there have been some notable exceptions. Saudi Arabia's Al Hilal drew Real Madrid. The Brazilian clubs have been phenomenal. And the aforementioned Urawa Red Diamonds fans made a huge impression with their 90 minutes of full-throated support in their club's 2-1 loss to Inter Milan. 

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The Club World Cup is a transparent money grab in the best (worst) tradition of FIFA. But with some fun sides like Inter Miami and Flamengo moving on to the knockouts, it's a least an entertaining story.

Stay cool out there, my friends. It's a scorcher.

Gheorghasbord: The Good, the Great, and the Ugly

I'm generally amped up on adrenaline on nights when I coach games. As a player, one gets to exert enough to counteract the elevated energy. Not so for coaches, and invariably, I get home and am all hopped up. So I drink a couple of beers and go to bed too late. Which means you get cobwebby-brained blogposts that wander all over creation.

The good takes us to Cannes to celebrate a dude who's fast becoming my favorite actor. I think Pedro Pascal first entered my conscious when he played Javier Peña the first season of Narcos. Others will have seen him as Oberyn Martell in Game of Thrones, but I still haven't seen it. He's a pretty terrific artist, no doubt, but I've come to praise him for his outspoken support for trans people (his sister Lux is a trans woman) and this week, for basic human kindness in the context of immigration.

Speaking of basic human kindness, some very great news from a corner of the entertainment multiverse close to our hearts. Earlier this year, Max announced that it would no longer air new episodes of Sesame Street, putting Bert, Ernie, Elmo, Big Bird, Snuffalupagus and their pals in some jeopardy. This week, Netflix stepped into the breach, releasing a message informing us that our puppet friends would have a streaming home on its platform. This year marks the Street's 56th. Glad to see there's a place in the world for this:

And finally, all the way from great to bad meaning bad not bad meaning good. The Colorado Rockies lost to Phillies last night, 9-3. The defeat takes the Rockies' record to 8-39, by some measure the worst mark in history at this point in a season. Colorado's run differential is -150, which is more than twice that of any other team in MLB, save the woeful Baltimore Orioles. The Rockies have a 5.85 ERA and 1.61 WHIP, both easily the bottom of the league. On offense, their OPS is 28th of 30 teams, and they've scored the second-least runs on the majors. Their .170 winning percentage played out over an entire season would yield 28 wins, by far the least in history. And god bless the good people of Denver, but the Rockies are still drawing nearly 26,000 fans per game. I guess good weed and a ballgame are still a great combo.

Gheorghasbord: All the Filler That's Fit to Print

Howdy, Gheorghies. Trust you had a cromulent weekend. 'Twas a lovely weather pattern here in the National Capital Region and the wife and I checked out a new brewery/winery in the western part of our county. Overserving oneself on a Sunday seems fun at the time, less so in the cold light of day. Nevertheless, we move forward.

Some might say we range far and wide today in our pursuit of interesting content. Others would argue that we're all over the fucking place. The truth, as often, is somewhere in the middle. Closer to all over the fucking place, but still.

Careful observers of this space know that I took two lawnmowers to the landfill over the weekend. I haven't had a working mower for over a year. I've been outsourcing the trimming of my lawn to a neighbor kid who's inherited a mowing business from his older brother when the latter went to college. The younger kid is a good egg, but he's working a job, doing offseason training for football, and wrapping up his junior year. As a consequence, the lawn, she was a mess. 

So I went out and bought myself an electric mower yesterday, an EGO Power+ 600 series, complete with a 56w battery, a 21" deck, and a sporty look. Got her up and running this morning before I started the workday. She's a beauty.

Might have to reward myself by hitting the most unexpected source of great craft beer in the area. Hat tip to Mr. KQ for turning me on to The Filling Co., a hybrid gas station/convenience store/fast service restaurant with three locations in the DMV. In addition to having really excellent food (my kid goes there for top notch deep-fried Oreos), TFC has an incredible selection of terrific beers that I've never seen anywhere else in the area. I've purchased stuff from The Veil, Benchtop, Lawson's, The Other Half, and several really collaborations that are unavailable elsewhere. Keep your eyes peeled for one coming to your area.

And finally, a reunion tour that's got me a bit historically feeling. Rilo Kiley, fronted by the great Jenny Lewis, just announced their first tour since 2007, though they officially broke up in 2014. They're getting back together and hitting the road starting later this month. On August 30 they'll play the Summer Stage in Asbury Park, NJ, and they'll be at The Anthem in Washington, DC on September 10. Don't mind if I do.

Gheorghasbord

Been thinking a lot about what it'll take for us to climb out from the morass we slide deeper into with each passing day. It seem painfully obvious that so-called political elites are essentially useless, either because they stand to gain from others' pain or they lack the imagination to see how bad things might get. No, if we're getting out of this shit, it's gonna be normies hand in hand with privileged folks who take stands, sacrifice, and build movements in ways large and small. 

And, like it's often been, women are gonna sigh, roll up their sleeves, and start digging. So today we celebrate a couple of badass ladies who've made public points recently.

The first is former Skadden Arps associate Brenna Frey, who very publicly resigned from the prestigious firm after the partnership agreed to a settlement with the President* to avoid the consequences of a highly dubious Executive Order targeting it. Following in the footsteps of her colleague Rachel Cohen, Frey posted her resignation and reasons on LinkedIn, saying, 

Today the executive partner of my former firm sent us all an "update" that attempted to convince some of the best minds in the legal profession that he did us a solid by capitulating to the Trump administration's demands for fealty and protection money.  Fellow Skadden attorneys: If you agree with Jeremy London's position that the firm should not engage in "illegal DEI discrimination," should devote prestigious Skadden Fellows to the Trump administration's pet projects, and should help "politically disenfranchised groups who have not historically received legal representation from major national law firms," (taking into account the robust pro bono work that major national law firms already do), then by all means continue working there. But if that email struck you as a craven attempt to sacrifice the rule of law for self-preservation, I hope you do some soul-searching over the weekend and join me in sending a message that this is unacceptable (in whatever way you can). As one of my more eloquent former colleagues put it: "Do not pretend that what is happening is normal or excusable. It isn't."

There is only one acceptable response from attorneys to the Trump administration's demands: The rule of law matters. 

The rule of law matters. As an attorney, if my employer cannot stand up for the rule of law, then I cannot ethically continue to work for them.

A more prominent woman took a different sort of stand recently, quietly standing up to discrimination through the simple, decent act of making breakfast.

UCONN women's hoops redshirt freshman Jana El Alfy is a practicing Muslim, and observed Ramadan for the past month (it ended this weekend). During Ramadan, the devout cannot consume food or drink of any kind between dawn and sunset, making it particularly challenging for elite athletes. 

El Alfy's roommate is superstar senior Paige Bueckers. Each day during Ramadan, Bueckers woke up before dawn to make breakfast for her teammate. She told People Magazine, "So just anytime you can support somebody, especially when they're going through something. It's a lot better when you’re going through something with somebody."

Ain't that a novel concept. 

Finding somebodies to go through stuff with sounds like a recipe for positive outcomes. Let's get after it.