And Now for Something Completely the Same

More Sinéad, since your response was so deafening. 

This time with our fraternity brother Paci, aka Pogue Shane MacGowan. 

And hair. She looks lovely. And with a sweet love song completely devoid of angst, rage, venom, sadness, or political message. This isn't how she'll be remembered, but it's quite nice.

Emergency 2/22/22 Filler

zson observed that today is Tuesday 2/22/22 and concluded "That's a lot of 2s."  That made me think of this:

Postcount!  Emergency filler!  Gheorghemas Day 12 is imminent!

Kitten Filter For the Win

 I do not suggest doing this in a judicial proceeding.  Not even in Texas.

A Differential Gheorghemas Interlude

Did you ever wonder how your car's differential works?  Do you know what the differential is?  It's that round thing behind your truck nuts.

Luckily, in 1937 a guy named Jam Handy made a movie explaining it in an accessible way.  Parenthetically, Jam Handy sounds like a good guy to have around if you need to throw a particularly large or belligerent person in the bowl.

You can fast forward to 1:55 if you don't want to watch the introductory nonsense.  Postcount!

Nick of Time

A Gheorghie who shall remain nameless thought it would be a good idea to celebrate the rags to riches story of the world's chubbiest parrot turned champion in the comments section. Do we not all know G:TB Rule #1? 

For those that need a refresher, right there on the first page of the G:TB Style Guide, even before the correct spelling of dipshittery and the proper usage of extra h's, it says in boldfaced, all-caps type: POSTCOUNT!

And so we were fortunate to rescue this piece from the commentariat, and share with you now. Behold the Kākāpō, winner for the second time of New Zealand's Bird of the Year award:

I know what you're thinking. I, too, had no idea New Zealand had such a prestigious award, and I'm stunned that the kiwi hasn't retired the title.

The Kākāpō is a gloriously funky-looking beast, a waddling, round, knife-beaked thing. They're also very endangered, with only 209 alive today. The Bird of the Year program is intended to bring awareness to endangered birds, and help raise funds for breeding programs. There's good news to share on that front. Experts expect 75 Kākāpō chicks to survive this year, and for a species that can live as long as 90 years, that's a great generation.

So enjoy our round-bellied friend, and reflect for a moment on Rule #1. Have a day, Gheorghies.

META FILLER: PART 2

After posting his killer Bonnie Tyler pie chart yesterday, Teejay got curious about a GTB staple, the amorphous Filler tag.

I know when we first used the "Filler" tag, as I was not too lazy to look it up. It was in this post:

For your amusement, here is every different filler label ever put on a GTB post. All 145 of 'em. Enjoy.

• 69 Filler
• 80's Movie Filler
• Abe Vigoda Filler
• actually recurring filler
• Afternoon Filler
• Alan Parsons Filler
• All Filler No Killer
• all filler not made equal
• and you think filler is lazy
• armaggedeon filler
• bear filler
• beer snob filler
• best filler ever
• birthday filler
• Bo Knows Filler
• Brit filler
• careless filler
• Championship Sunday filler
• chat filler
• Classic Rock Shootout filler
• Clown Filler
• Confused Filler
• Cougar Filler
• COVID filler
• danimal filler
• dog filler
• Earthquake filler
• earworm filler
• Easter filler
• eight days in a row filler
• election filler part one
• election filler part two
• epic filler
• Evil Muppet Filler
• falconry filler
• Fanilow Filler
• fast food filler
• Fat Tuesday Filler
• fenomenal filler
• Ferrari Filler
• festive friday filler
• Filler
• filler filler
• filler for rob
• filler for the zman
• filler knows no language boundaries
• filler time
• Filler Up
• filler week
• fillerest filler ever
• fillery filler
• fillllllller
• film filler
• Finale Filler
• five carat filler
• floyd filler
• football filler
• footy filler
• Fred Gwynne Filler
• French Clown Filler
• French filler
• Friday Filler
• Friday Foreign Filler
• frog filler
• Frosty Filler
• Gheorghe Filler
• Gheorghemas Filler
• GIFiller
• gold medal filler
• google image filler
• greasy filler
• Greg filler
• hobo filler
• Holiday Filler
• holiday lunch filler
• honeymoon filler
• hoops hangover filler
• Hovitos filler
• humpty filler
• Igor and Teej Filler
• iller filler
• intangible filler
• Ironman Filler
• Is this filler? Meta-filler
• JaMarcusian effort at posting filler
• kq filler
• layzman's filler
• laziest filler ever
• literary filler
• mark filler
• Marls Filler
• McRib filler
• Monday Filler
• more filler
• Mupeepets filler
• Muppet Filler
• muppets filler
• music filler
• musical filler
• NCAA Tournament Filler
• new filler
• New Jersey Filler
• new year new filler
• OBFT filler
• odd filler
• OJ Filler
• olympic filler
• overqualified filler
• pain filler
• popcorn filler
• pug filler
• Really quick filler
• Spiller Filler
• squirrel filler
• Stormy Sunday Filler
• stupid filler
• stupid rambling filler
• summer filler
• Sunday Filler
• Sunday NFL Open Thread Filler
• superhero filler
• Teej filler
• teej is very busy filler
• there is filler and then there's this
• This post even insults the Filler tag
• Thursday Night Football Filler
• TR Filler
• trailer filler
• Tuesday Filler
• Unbelievably lazy filler
• unicorn filler
• Unit M Filler
• voted worst filler ever
• Wait this filler is ALL killer
• wet filler
• Whitney's next stop; Wednesday filler
• Work Jerry filler
• WTFiller
• xmas eve filler
• xmas filler
• zfiller
• zombie filler

It's Report Card Time Again... Again

What with the mixed up, muddled up, shook up world in which we're living, and the abbreviated / tossed-on-its-ear school year, it's Report Card Time again!

How'd we do so far in 2020?

Not bad. Not bad at all. For reference, in 2019, we posted on 53% of every day of the year. This year, thus far, it's 66%. Two out of every three days, you get new G:TB content. We can live with that.

Here's the report card from this time a year ago.

Of other statistical note, in 2019 Rob was responsible for 57% of all Gheorghe posts. This year, he's at 34% -- technically even less now. As of this posting, he's at exactly 1/3. Gotta keep the founder from burning out, people.

Now is the time, quarantine and all, for these numbers to continue surging. There will be a tailing off once everyone can go back to work, spend all day outdoors in the park, and drink in public places once more.  Keep it rolling. 

We are currently on pace for our best year of Postcount since 2015. Those were, by many standards, better days. Hey. Ho. Let's go.

Shazam!

Two of my friends, a husband and wife team that zwoman and I refer to as The Elegances, were early iPhone adopters. I didn’t understand the hoopla at first. Jenny Elegance showed me the great camera and how good photos looked on the big screen. It was cool but I wasn’t blown away. Then she showed me the map feature with GPS directions. I was really impressed—-I have no sense of direction and this is the type of thing I could really use. Then Danny Elegance came over the top with Shazam. My mind was blown. I said something like “Yo, this thing just sniffs the beats out the air and gives you the song?!? I want that beat sniffer!” FOGTB JP quickly replied “The beat sniffer, that’s my dog!” This is funny because his dog Hank liked to sniff the crotch of our friend Julie Beats. I guess you had to be there.

All this is to say that Shazam is great and it was the motivating force behind my first iPhone purchase. Over a decade later, Dave apparently just learned about Shazam and started blogging about it. Better late than never.

I still love Shazam. Here are some of my recent finds:

“It Was Wrong to Love You” by The Jay Vons (of course they’re on Daptone, here's the song live)



“Talk That Talk” by The Du Droppers (nothing like the Rihanna song)



“There’s No One Like You” by Redd Kross



“Tom Drunk” by U-Roy (the “Fortified Live” sample!)



“Castin’ My Spell” by Johnny Otis



“I’m a King Bee” by Slim Harpo (the original!)



“Night walkers” by Kiki Hitomi (I can't come up with a coherent parenthetical for this one)



“All the Way from Memphis” by Mott the Hoople (sounds like the influenced White Reaper)



Dave and I probably aren't the only Shazammers around here. What did you find lately?

Pink Squirrels

A biology professor at Northland College in Texas was shining a UV flashlight in his backyard because ... I don't know why, I guess that's just what bio profs do. Anyway, as he was shining the UV light a hot-pink flying squirrel flew by him. No typos in that sentence. See for yourself.

Turns out no one ever noticed this before, except maybe rob but he kept it to himself. The loon with the UV light then started shining on museum specimens and found more glowing squirrels.

His results were published in The Journal of Mammalogy, in which he concluded:

Fluorescence in varying intensities of pink was observed in females and males of all extant species (G. oregonensis, G. sabrinus, and G. volans) across all sampled geographic areas in North and Central America and a temporal range of 130 years. We observed fluorescence in museum specimens (n = 109) and wild individuals (n = 5) on both dorsal and ventral surfaces. Museum specimens of three co-occurring, diurnal sciurid species (Sciurus carolinensis, S. niger, and Tamiasciurus hudsonicus) were also examined but did not fluoresce. The ecological significance of this trait in the nocturnal–crepuscular flying squirrels warrants further investigation.

I eagerly await rob's scholarship on this matter.

Happy Friday. Listen to This

I'm digging the new Vampire Weekend single. I found out three was a new single, went to Apple Music and owned the tune (digitally) about 11 seconds later. Neat. This comes as I am debating going to see them at MSG in September. My New Year's resolutions included sleeping more, drinking less and seeing more live music. Some of these goals will work to the detriment of others, but I won't regret seeing more live music than I did in 2018. I already have my eye on Spoon, Phish, Vampire Weekend, Gary Clark Jr. and Wallows shows. Would be a good start.

This tune has hints of Len, Phish and the Dead (at least my novice musical palette thinks so). It is a bit more ethereal than the older stuff from the band. But all that makes it very much a Vampire Weekend tune. I dig these guys. Hope you do too.

Who's Waldo

We all know at this point that April 20, or 4/20, is linked inextricably to the pursuit of herbal-aided relaxation. By 'all', I might include my 16 year-old daughter, who came downstairs this morning and asked me if I knew what today was. It's fairly culturally universal here in the U.S. of A. I won't comment on whether we're all getting stoned because we know the world is going to shit. I'll leave that analysis to Sentence of Dave, the proprietor of which is apparently in a bit of a blue phase.

The origin of the 420 link to weed is a bit less well understood. Some claim it's related to a police code for marijuana infractions, for example. It's not.

Let's let the fathers of 420 tell the story:



As for me, I plan to celebrate.

Legally, of course. By purchasing a couple of sixers of Lagunitas' Waldos Special Ale and get my couch on. You, obviously, should celebrate in your own way.

WWzD/Automotive Alphabet Aerobics: A is for Alfa

I haven't done a WWzD post in a while, and I have an idea for a recurring gimmick/series that no one except rob will enjoy, and rob will only enjoy it because it increases our post count. Armed with the internet, the alphabet, and my impeccable taste in automobiles, I will march through marques and mark the models I moon over in three price brackets.

My automotive list of things to do includes owning an Italian car at least once. Almost all are completely out of my financial reach. Luckily, Alfa Romeo made some really cool cars that are now really affordable. I love the boat-tail Duetto, but those will set you back at least $30k. For less than half that price you can get a much newer Spider, like this tidy example in Armonk, NY for $12,500:

21,000 miles with the hard top included? Yes please! Chisel them down to around $10k and smile with the top down all spring summer and fall.

Maybe you don't like two seat rear-wheel-drive convertibles (because you're a fool). Or maybe you just don't want to spend that much. You're in luck--Alfa made a front-wheel-drive sedan called the 164 and I love it. I dated a girl whose father had a 164. I got farther with the girl than the car. Would you trust me with this?

That car is the Quadrifoglio version, which is Italian for "fast and fragile." Those can be a little more expensive than the lesser 164s, but no matter what you do get one with the V6 cuz dat Busso!:

For under $5000 you can get that beautiful car in green over biscuit with (a slightly detuned version of) that engine. I am always on the lookout for one of these within driving distance of zhome and came within a few hundred bucks of winning one on bringatrailer.com relatively recently.

Maybe you're a baller and money is no object. What then?

Alfa's been around for over 100 years and they've made a bunch of cool cars. Import laws now allow for the insanely weird Lego-on-steroids SZ to be brought into the US. This one is $105,000.

I really dig the SZ but would only get one if I had fuck you money and it was one of ten cars in my collection. It just screams "1990" too much to be my Sunday driver.

The Montreal is so "1970's Italian supercar" that it hurts. And many were made in orange, which is awesome, and the gauge cluster is crazy.

But this still isn't quite right. Like I said, I'm biased towards rear-wheel-drive two-seat convertibles, and I have a soft spot for real vintage stuff so the Giulietta Spider is just about perfect.

This one is a 1959, one owner (!?!?!?), numbers matching, original bill of sale ... GAH! And who doesn't want to sit behind this steering wheel for hours at a time?

For $135,000 you could build a significant addition on your house or you could drive around in this thing while your old lady rides shotgun pretending to be Sophia Loren. It's a tough choice for some but I'll take my busted kitchen and the Giulietta every time. zwoman, for the record, does not agree. Luckily I have neither an extra $135k nor the garage space for this perfect specimen of Milanese style and engineering.

As a side note, Ray Allen drives an 8C. I know this because FOG:TB JP once got his doors blown off by Ray Allen in his 8C in Waltham. You could do a lot worse.

Baseball Roots (Not a Miniseries Mash-up)

My woeful team was put down like Old Yeller a long while back. I enjoy baseball. For whom should I root, root, root now? Certainly not just the home team each game, right?

I'm in luck. With the Wild Cards done and the Fall Classic in view, it’s time for Gheorghe to tell us supporters of non-playoff teams (and Twins and Rockies) which clubs to pull for. Here’s a table that will show the criteria:

CRITERIA EXPLAINED (SORT OF)
The City Itself: Is it fun? Charming? Boring? Disgusting?
The Fans: I think this gamut runs from those at Busch to those at the Vet (RIH)
Mascot/Logo: Beloved? Asinine? Confusing? Offensive?
Stadium: Cathedral or glorified softball park…
History/Rootability: where the cosmos seeps into sports, where the good guys sometimes prevail, and where decades of wrongs get righted
Underdoggedness: Fate has a fickle finger; favorites don’t always fare favorably
Star Quality: Stars shine in October
Food from the City/Region: Perhaps the most subjective category of all
Bands from the City/Region: Never mind, this is
X-Factor: That little edge could be telling you something


So, whom do we like in 2017?

Boston Red Sox
City: Great town. Wish they could drive. 3
Fans: Increasingly hahd to tawlerate. 1
Mascot/Logo: Uniform timeless. Wally not. 0.5
Stadium: A classic. 1
History/Rootability: Used to be a 5. Now… bleh. 1
Underdoggedness: Slight. 2
Stars: Not relative to the Cowboy Up days. 0
Food: Lobster rolls and Harpoon. 1
Bands: The Cars. Aerosmith once upon a time. Pixies. 1
X-Factor: Belichick. 0
Total: 10.5

Houston Astros
City: Wasn’t much before the floods. 0.5
Fans: Nondescript at best. Texans. 1
Mascot/Logo: Still clinging to NASA? Ok. 1
Stadium: Are you kidding? 0
History/Rootability: Well, given recent events in the region, it’s better. Never won a Series. That helps. 5
Underdoggedness: Many folks have picked them. 1
Stars: I like Altuve. 1
Food: Brisket, maybe? 1
Bands: Beyonce and ZZ Top? 0
X-Factor: Harvey. 1
Total: 10.5

New York Yankees
City: Of course. 3
Fans: Like mosquitoes, they’re everywhere and annoying. GTB Yanks fans only reason for a point. 1
Mascot/Logo: Vintage. Ubiquitous but vintage. 1
Stadium: I preferred the one erected in the 70’s. 0
History/Rootability: Too good for too long. Can’t get behind them. 1
Underdoggedness: Don’t believe the hype. A gift to earn a 1. 1.
Stars: My name is Judge. 1
Food: Like everything in NYC, it’s good on its own but overhyped. 1
Bands: Ramones. Run-DMC. Dave loves Billy Joel. 1
X-Factor: Not feeling it. 0
Total: 10

Cleveland Indians
City: No Bueno. I’m sorry. 0
Fans: Dedicated through all the crap. Even Randy Quaid. 3
Mascot/Logo: Chief Wahoo. Nope. 0
Stadium: One of the original new classics alongside Camden. 1
History/Rootability: Stands to reason. 5
Underdoggedness: Only because they blow this every time. 1
Stars: You met them last fall. 1
Food: Just drink. 0
Bands: Nine Inch Nails and Joe Walsh. 1/2 point for the HoF. 0.5
X-Factor: It’s time. 1
Total: 12.5

Washington Nationals
City: Good town. 2
Fans: Homers drag this one down. 2
Mascot/Logo: Love the presidents. 1
Stadium: Not bad at all. 1
History/Rootability: Les Expos! The curse of the strike of ’81. Jarry Park! 4
Underdoggedness: Marginal. 1
Stars: Like white on Bryce. 1
Food: I lived in DC for 12 years and can’t tell you what DC food is. 0
Bands: Fugazi. emmet swimming?? 0
X-Factor: Un peu. 0.5
Total: 12.5

Chicago Cubs
City: Good but cold. 2.5
Fans: Trending Beantownish? 1
Mascot/Logo: Timeless. 1
Stadium: Same. 1
History/Rootability: Last year a 5. This year… eh. 1.5
Underdoggedness: Solid. 2.5
Stars: You met them last fall. 1
Food: Brats and Old Style. Yes. 1
Bands: Peter Cetera. Smashing Pumpkins. But EWF. Muddy Waters. Wilco. 1
X-Factor: Not this year. 0
Total: 12.5


Los Angeles Dodgers
City: Fun but not my bag. 1
Fans: LA people. Meh. 1
Mascot/Logo: Only missing the BROOKLYN embroidery. 1
Stadium: Chavez Ravine! Good enough. 1
History/Rootability: Debatable. Been since ’88, spent too much $, Boehly. 2
Underdoggedness: Was a -3 earlier in the season. 0
Stars: Yeah, yeah. 1
Food: Dodger Dogs and avocado. 1
Bands: RHCP, GN’R, Doors, etc. Strong. 1
X-Factor: No love here.0
Total: 9

Arizona Diamondbacks
City: Not my climate. 1
Fans: No idea. 1.5
Mascot/Logo: I hate snakes. 0
Stadium: Pool. 0
History/Rootability: They won in 2001 in an all-timer. Other history? 3
Underdoggedness: Significant. 3
Stars: Maybe this postseason will make them brighter. 0
Food: Tex-Mex. Okay. 1
Bands: Stevie Nicks and Meat Puppets. 0
X-Factor: The ghost of Luis Gonzalez (RIA) 1
Total: 10.5


Tribe vs. Nats!  Not bloody likely but there you have it.


**if you use this for betting purposes, you are dumber than Dumb Donald.  Or even Dumb Donald.

I made a good tweet

My tweet is a high-quality tweet and I applaud its transparency.

Please,
Everyone.
Enjoy
Potus
Each
Evening.
The
Actual
Proof
Exists.

— Gheorghe T. Blog (@gheorghetheblog) July 12, 2017

Call The Police for postcount

In the comments a post or two ago I recommended a song, but no one probably saw it because I commented just as a new post was going up. So, in the spirit of postcount, I am turning my comment into a post.

LCD Soundsystem's new single, "Call The Police," is perfect dadrock. In it you can hear strains of The Killers, U2, The National, and of course James Murphy. You should add it to your summertime BBQ party jam play list to elevate your already premiere status as the musical cognoscente of your piece of the suburbs.



I also encourage you to comment more today--I have the day off and it's raining like crazy so I can't play tennis or fish so I need some other source of entertainment.

via GIPHY

Candidly, you guys aren't doing much in the commenting department lately. Step it up.

A Blog Divided Against Itself Cannot Stand

Abraham Lincoln rode through the streets of our nation's capital yesterday.  The man who once gave us such notable wisdom as:

• Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power. 
• Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. 
• And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. 
• Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other. 
• You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time. 
• Whatever you are, be a good one. 
• Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing.
• Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves.

...was heard to utter yesterday, simply:

"Burgers at the Cowboy Cafe with Marls and rob were conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that not all burgers are created equal. We here highly resolve that this summit shall not have been attended in vain — that this blog, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom—and that blogging of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth."

Video above shows Abe cruising through town.

Home Alone Six: Greasetruck Style

A fortuitous sequence of events left me home alone this afternoon. One child is at a bowling/Chinese food/sleepover birthday party, the other went wandering around town with some friends, and my wife is out with the ladies on a shopping/drinking spree. So I put some scotch in my coffee, played some guitar on the back porch, and then-- once I finished my scotch/coffee-- I poured myself the last of my Switchback beer into a chilled pint glass, and I decided to try recording some audio with my laptop.

I did this mainly to inspire Whitney, who has been dragging his feet on setting up some recording equipment for years now. I think he might be intimidated by the insane amount of digital audio equipment available. While I love my desktop recording DAW, my two input analog/digital converter, and my excellent condenser microphone, the moral of the story is that you don't need any of that to record audio these days. We live in the future, and the most minimal equipment will do the job (and do it well). I recorded this song with a forty dollar Blue Snowball microphone and a very old laptop with GarageBand. I did it in my kitchen (because I was home alone!) It took thirty minutes to record it, convert it to an mp3, and get it up on SoundCloud.

It is weird for me to record a song in one take, and to sing and play guitar at the same time. Someday, you might hear this with drums and synths and all kinds of weirdness, but it honestly sounds fine without all that. Serendipitously, the annoying black poodle that my dog hates walked by during this recording, so you can hear Sirius barking throughout the song.

This is a really sad song. Sorry. There will be more songs to come, and maybe even an entire dog album. Perhaps there will also be a Random Idiots reunion.

 

               Stupid Dog

I have a dog, he does not beg.
But when he pees, he sprays his leg.

He sleeps in the room where my boy used to be.
Stupid dog, he's good company.

I have a boy, overseas.
He lost both his legs, at the knees.

He's coming home, I don't know when.
Stupid dog, make him feel good again.

He's coming home, surely to stay.
Stupid dog, help him forget that day.

I had a wife, faithful and true.
She passed on when the cancer grew.

She looked so good in her high-heeled shoes.
Stupid dog listen to my blues.