Two books for your Gheorghemas wish list And a doofus to lead this country
I assume you're all working on your Gheorghemas wish lists. For Day 2 of Gheorghemas, I'm channeling my inner Dave and recommending two books for you to include. But I'm not Dave so my list will be fun and reflect the spirit of Gheorghemas.
First is Ghostface Killah's forthcoming biography titled "Rise of a Killah." According to the publisher, the book "is intense rather than comprehensive," which I guess translates to "it's short." It isn't available until May 14, 2024, but Gheorghemas often drags on for several months (and in fact Gheorghemas 2015 is still ongoing as the twelfth day hasn't published yet) so it will be a timely gift nonetheless. I, of course, will opt for the digital audio version, nah mean. Hopefully Jack Urbont and Andrew Coffman will enter appearances.
Second is "The Ananda Accords" by Zeke Springer. I've known Zeke for over 20 years and I'm stumping hard for his self-published first novel. It's a sci-fi thriller about a peace mission gone wrong. Go get it on Amazon.
I've said it before and now I'm saying it again: Ghostface Killah gives ridiculous interviews. Here's one where he tells the (NSFW) story about the time he got in a shootout with the Delfonics (they were in the van with him, he wasn't shooting at them).
About six years ago I wrote what I consider to be one of my best posts here--a long rambling description of my old Subaru as an introduction to a meditation on the 20th anniversary of "Enter the Wu-Tang (36 Chambers)." Simply put, you can never have too much Wu-Tang.
To that end, I encourage you to watch "Of Mics and Men," a four-part series about the Wu-Tang Clan that will start May 10 on Showtime. Here's the trailer.
I think it will be eye-opening. The Wu is just like us! Who can't relate to a story like this, for example.
“The RZA, the GZA, and Ghostface Killah walk into a spaceship full of vegan sliders” sounds like the start of a joke. And I guess it is. But it’s also the premise of a new four-part video series to promote White Castle’s new vegan “Impossible Sliders.” It's real and it’s fantastic.
“It’s kinda crazy on Earf right now, so we came to space to acquire some knowledge and gain some perspective.” That’s some true and deep shit.
Here are a few things I've seen or heard or thought about that I didn't have time to turn into a post or weren't really big enough to turn into a post.
1. Ghost & Meth & Comey?
Ghostface Killah and Method Man somehow or other met James Comey. I'll make like Zuckerberg and let you create the content in the comments. Just no homey/Comey jokes please.
zmother gets her Christmas shopping done around August, certainly no later than September. She hates Christmas shopping so she gets it done early. Holidays are always fun in zhome! I'm less of a Scrooge and don't get started until December, unless I see something that screams out to be gifted to someone in particular. Like these socks for Mark.
Or these for Whit. Or maybe these for TR. Or these for Squeaky. Or these for Teedge. Even rob.
We're very late to the party on this one, but if you haven't watched The Americans you should. It's all available on Amazon Prime and it's all good.
One of the interesting aspects of The Sopranos was the idea that a murderous gangster comes home from work and has to deal with all the same mundane and difficult stuff as everyone else--his son gets bad grades and acts a fool, his wife spends too much money, his mother breaks his balls, his sister is out of control, and so on. The Sopranos made this dynamic clear right from the start of episode 1 and carried it through to the end.
The Americans spins this theme. Every marriage has difficulties, or at least things happen in any marriage that make things difficult. For Philip and Elizabeth Jennings, they not only have to deal with their kids' undesirable behaviors, they sometimes have to figure out how to dispose of dead bodies or weaponized bacteria because they're Russian spies. The tension between them as partners-in-crime serving their Motherland and as husband and wife is set out from the start and makes the show engaging throughout.
For example, we don't do dentistry like this in zhome.
I don't understand what blockchains are but they're remarkably popular these days. So popular that Ghostface Killah is getting into the cryptocurrency game. I'm a pretty boring guy, especially when it comes to investing, so I'm skeptical.
It's called Cream Capital, which is a take-off on the song C.R.E.A.M. The "C" in the instant situation stands for "cryptocurrency." Get it?
This "white paper" explains the scam how it works. Except it doesn't. ATMS are involved somehow.
"What the hell does GfK know about cryptocurrency and why should I invest with him" you might ask. Here's what CEO Brett Westbrook has to say on that topic:
"Ghostface Killah is a long-time business partner of ours," he explains. "I personally connected with him during a Reddit AMA on /r/hiphopheads last year when he was seeking tech-inclined people to work with in future technology focused projects. Dennis is a very forward thinking person and has a keen interest in emerging technologies. It's hard to ignore blockchain tech today even when you're a busy, touring hip hop artist.
"He doesn't have any technical background with cryptocurrencies. However, remember that Wu-Tang is for the children. He is very focused on what the youth and millennials are interested in. He is a very solid businessman and has surrounded himself with bright individuals with a hunger for bring new, groundbreaking technologies to market."
Oh right, Wu-Tang is for the children!
And Pretty Tone is the Chief Branding Officer--no problem, take my money.
The last time I wrote about Jack Urbont's legal saga against Ghostface Killah and Sony Music it was to tell you that Mr. Urbont's appeal slogged on. Slog on it did ... and Mr. Urbont won! Well, he only won on one issue, but it's the big one. His federal copyright infringement claim still lives.
You could read the 32 page opinion here. Or you could read my shorter, breezier and wittier analysis here. As I said over a year ago:
I am, admittedly, a stupid guy, but the asserted facts in this case are too unclear for me to figure out exactly what happened. The preemption argument is stronger than the work for hire argument but even there, is it really clear what RZA copied from? So I don't think either side will win a motion for summary judgment--there's a genuine dispute.
The Court of Appeals also took the District Court judge to task on procedural issues (required joinder y'all!) and her substantive analysis of the case. They also threw shade at the District Court's legal research skills:
The district court characterized the presumption that the work was made for hire as “almost irrebutable” and held Urbont’s claims to a “clear and convincing” burden of proof. Urbont, 100 F. Supp. 3d at 353. It is the law of this Circuit, however, that the plaintiff need only establish the existence of a contrary agreement by a preponderance of the evidence. Playboy Enters., Inc., 53 F.3d at 554–55.
That might sound dry to laypeople's ears but it's a legitimate benchslap. And it completely upends my understanding of the little guy and his relationship to the big guy. Of course, Mr. Urbont could still lose after further discovery and trial. Bur for now he's going to bibbily bop some more. Because if your heart is in it right you'll bibbily bop all night.
The internet is awash with obituaries, top 10 lists, tweets, hashtags, photoshopped photos and hosts of other social-media-centric things following Phife's death. I don't feel the need to add to this flotsam in the ether because I celebrate Phife's/ATCQ's music all the time. And instead of saying all of my goodbyes I'm going to continue to continue to do so.
I think society in general doesn't appreciate the great people doing great stuff all around us until they're gone. Not necessarily dead, but once they've stopped doing great stuff. For example, Stefan Edberg was the last true serve-and-volley player in tennis. After he retired I realized I would never get to watch his style ever again. Sure, Sampras and Rafter and Becker had serve-and-volley in their repertoire, but they didn't come to the net on every point. It felt like they took paradise and put up a parking lot, you know? So I promised myself that I would try to appreciate people and things more from then on.
Like Ghostface Killah. I blog about all his crazy weed-infused activities all the time because he's a great lyricist who does greatly crazy stuff.
I also try and find the time to appreciate Snoop Dogg. He has a new video series called "Planet Snoop" in which he narrates nature videos. You can find it on his MerryJane.com website. The first video debuted yesterday and it turns out that Snoop is a fan of G:TB. I say this because he spends his time appreciating rob. Seriously, here's Snoop rooting hard for rob in a fight with what I hope is a non-venomous snake. The language is a little coarse so keep the volume down at work.
So I encourage you to be more like Snoop and me--take the time to appreciate the things around you that make you happy while they're still around you. If all you do is write rhymes eat drink shit and bone without taking the time to admire, for example, the ill C-cups, then with all these trials and tribulations, yo, you'll been affected. So inhale the people around you like a breath of fresh air. You'll be better for it.
Ghostface Killah's discography spans almost two decades and it's peppered with tracks about selling coke and crack, so it should come as no surprise that he's entering the legal marijuana game with some sort of vape-able oils. It's called Wu Goo, natch, and he made an infomercial/song to promote the stuff. It is, predictably, genius.
On the fourth day of Gheorghemas big Gheorghe gave to me:
Four posts zman meant to write but never did
Three French Hens
Two in-state rivalries
And a dork with a split personal-ity
I saw a number of interesting (at least to me) bits in the news and thought about writing posts but didn't because I'm lazy. So for Gheorghemas I'm giving you the top four.
1. Strip clubs get sued a lot and they like to use Jessa Hinton's image
A number of noodie bars have been sued over the past few weeks for advertising their establishments using images of relatively famous women without their permission. And these aren't hole-in-the-wall places either. Sin City, New York Dolls, Flashdancers, and several other clubs that advertise on cabs in NYC and that may or may not have served me a beer or three over the past 40-odd years.
In a nutshell, the plaintiffs in all of these cases assert that the strip clubs grabbed nearly naked and/or suggestive photos of them off of the internet and used them on the clubs' websites and other advertisements to make it appear that the plaintiffs worked at these clubs. But they don't, haven't, and won't. Or so they assert. All of the complaints express outrage for presenting sexually suggestive photos of the plaintiffs, which is funny because the complaints always describe the plaintiffs' high-falutin' modeling careers which all involve sexually suggestive (and often outright explicit) magazines. But of course, just because a woman chooses to pose in Playboy doesn't mean she also dances naked. And just because she dances go-go don't make her a ho no.
There's some overlap among the women involved: Joanna Krupa, Sara Underwood, Jessica Burciaga and several others pop up across multiple complaints. I guess this is to be expected. However, one woman appears on all of the complaints: Jessa Hinton. I never heard of her before this but I think I get why she's so popular.
For the record, this is the least suggestive, most clothed photo of Ms. Hinton that I could find using Google image search. It appears that she doesn't own any real clothing, opting instead to wear world-class underboob shirts, bikinis made of pizza and bodypaint ... and that's when she wants to wear something.
Perhaps the most interesting complaint was brought against the Miami Velvet Club, which, according to its NSFW website, is America's #1 swingers club. The complaint is 681 pages, needlessly long but remarkably thorough. If you want to learn a lot about glamour models and swingers clubs I'll send it to you.
2. Pepperidge Farm sued Trader Joe's for infringing their Milano cookie trademark
Pepperidge Farm takes their cookies seriously. So seriously that they sued Trader Joe's, asserting that the shape and packaging of TJ's Crispy Cookies constitute "infringement and dilution of the famous and unique MILANO® cookie configuration trademark (as defined below), which Pepperidge Farm or its predecessors in interest have used for decades in connection with cookie and snack products."
It gets more heated. P-Farms asserts that "[d]espite being well aware of the famous MILANO® cookie configuration trademark, and the enormous goodwill symbolized thereby and associated therewith, Defendant recently began selling, in the packaged retail space, a cookie product designed to trade on the MILANO® cookie’s goodwill and reputation."
Further, "Pepperidge Farm’s trademark rights associated with MILANO® brand cookies have gained particular fame because unlike generic snack foods or cookies, the MILANO® cookies are in and of themselves identifiable due to the MILANO® CONFIGURATION, and serve as an indicator of source .... For example, the MILANO® cookies are instantly recognizable and due to their popularity, have appeared in pop culture and TV shows like Frasier, Will and Grace, Seinfeld, and Two and-a Half Men."
Yep, that's a cookie certificate. Anyway, I think it's pretty clear that T-Joe's cookies aren't the same as P-Farm's cookies--everybody knows that T-Joe's sells fugazi stuff designed to look like other stuff, like Joe's Os, and no one is going to be confused to the point that they think they're buying Milanos. Here's a comparison so you can be the judge.
Just to be safe I'm making a run to Joe's to stock up on bootleg Milanos.
3. Jack Urbont and Sony continue to duke it out
Jack Urbont's case against Sony Music and Ghostface Killah slogs on. Briefing continues, rehashing all of the stuff I've rehashed herebefore. It isn't very interesting.
I expect Sony to prevail. Hopefully GFK doesn't go after Mr. Urbont like he goes after Action Bronson in this GFK vs. Bronsolino video game (which you can play here).
4. Daniel Snyder really is tone deaf
Daniel Snyder's case against a group of Native Americans regarding the R**skins trademark cancellation continues to slog on. I won't bore you with all of the legal minutiae asserted in his appeal brief, but there are a few illogical leaps worth mentioning.
Mr. Snyder presents a ton of registered trademarks "that the Team believes are racist, or misogynistic, vulgar, or otherwise offensive. By way of example only, the following marks are registered today: TAKE YO PANTIES OFF clothing; DANGEROUS NEGRO shirts; SLUTSSEEKER dating services; DAGO SWAGG clothing; DUMB BLONDE beer; TWATTY GIRL cartoons; BAKED BY A NEGRO bakery goods; BIG TITTY BLEND coffee; RETARDIPEDIA website; MIDGET-MAN condoms and inflatable sex dolls; and JIZZ underwear. These are not isolated instances. The government routinely registers pornographers’ marks: TEENSDOPORN.COM, MILFSDOPORN.COM, THUG PORN, GHETTO BOOTY, and BOUND GANGBANGS are but a few."
He also lists out these marks:
SHANK THE B!T@H board game; CRACKA AZZ SKATEBOARDS; ANAL FANTASY COLLECTION, KLITORIS, and OMAZING SEX TOYS sex toys; HOT OCTOPUSS anti-premature ejaculation creams; OL GEEZER wines; EDIBLE CROTCHLESS GUMMY PANTIES lingerie; WTF WORK? online forum; MILF WEED bags; GRINGO STYLE SALSA; MAKE YOUR OWN DILDO; GRINGO BBQ; CONTEMPORARY NEGRO, F’D UP, WHITE TRASH REBEL, I LOVE VAGINA, WHITE GIRL WITH A BOOTY, PARTY WITH SLUTS, CRIPPLED OLD BIKER BASTARDS, DICK BALLS, and REDNECK ARMY apparel; OH! MY NAPPY HAIR shampoos; REFORMED WHORES and WHORES FROM HELL musical bands; LAUGHING MY VAGINA OFF entertainment; NAPPY ROOTS records; BOOTY CALL sex aids; BOYS ARE STUPID, THROW ROCKS AT THEM wallets; and DUMB BLONDE hair products.
Based on these and other exemplary marks he deems offensive, Mr. Snyder concludes that he should be allowed to register the R**skins mark even if it is offensive.
This doesn't make sense for a few reasons. First, the test is whether the mark is offensive to the relevant group who would be offended, no to Mr. Snyder or "the Team." Just because "DUMB BLONDE" offends his delicate sensibilities (so much that he listed it twice in his brief) doesn't mean it offends people (or blondes) in general. Further, how is it possible that Mr. Snyder is offended by "DUMB BLONDES" but not "R**SKINS"?
Second, it's not clear that some of these marks are offensive at all. For example, "Gringo BBQ" probably doesn't offend many white people. Similarly, the word "Negro" isn't offensive in the context of "United Negro College Fund."
Third, and perhaps most importantly, just because the USPTO registered all of these marks doesn't mean anything. The PTO screws up all the time. US patents are invalidated every day by Federal courts and the PTO itself. It would not surprise me if there are thousands or tens of thousands of invalid unexpired patents out there. No one ever says "hey judge, my patent is valid because there are many other patents out there and they're valid too." Sure, patents are presumed valid, but that is never anyone's entire validity argument.
Finally, comparing yourself to "racist[s], or misogynist[s] ... [and] pornographers" doesn't exactly present your cause in a positive light. In fact, it makes your cause look racist. Which, in this case, it is.
On Monday, April 20, 2015, Judge Buchwald ruled on the cross-motions for summary judgment pending in Jack Urbont's case against Ghostface Killah and Sony Music. Sony won on both the work-for-hire grounds and the preemption grounds detailed in my last post about this case. Mr. Urbont can appeal this decision, but for now it appears that the source material for at least 13 G:TB posts has run its course. And Ghostdini (and Sony) is still the champ.
Pretty Tone probably still owes Mr. Urbont $3,758.58 as detailed previously, but good luck trying to collect. It will probably cost more than that to track down the Wallabee Champ and force him to disgorge the funds.
The moral of this story? The little guy always loses, and of course he does--if he could win, he'd be big. Except for Tyrion Lannister because he's a pimp.
The last time I posted about Jack Urbont I described his motion for summary judgment. Sony recently replied to that motion and made their own motion for summary judgment presenting two basic arguments. First, Sony asserts that Mr. Urbont does not own the copyright to the Iron Man Theme because it was a work for hire and thus Marvel Comics owns it. Second, Sony asserts that the Iron Man Theme is not a "sound recording" under the Copyright Act of 1976 and thus Mr. Urbont's state law claims are preempted. In either event, Mr. Urbont lacks standing to sue, according to Sony.
In support of all this, Sony submitted a "counter-statement of material facts" to combat some of Mr. Urbont's assertions, a bunch of exhibits, and a declaration from one of their in-house lawyers. It's the same lawyer who said he didn't know that Robert Diggs is the RZA. Interestingly, his declaration says that he has "personal knowledge of the fact[]" that "Robert Diggs ... is also professionally known as 'RZA,' ...." I guess he learned that during or after his deposition.
Anyway, Sony's first argument goes like this: there's a test for whether a copyrighted work is a "work for hire," and facts surrounding the creation of the Iron Man Theme satisfy that test, so Marvel owns the copyright not Mr. Urbont. The only reason Mr. Urbont made the song (and six others--four more superhero themes and two generic Marvel-related ditties, more on them later), according to Sony, is because Marvel asked him to. He had no idea who any of these characters were before Marvel contacted him and send him some comics to read as background, and he would not have done so absent Marvel's offer to pay him to write the songs. Marvel paid Mr. Urbont a fixed sum of $3000 to write and record the song and Mr. Ubont did not retain any royalty rights. So far so good ... but then it gets a little murky.
Sony argues that Mr. Urbont can't rebut their argument that the Iron Man Theme is a work for hire. In support they note that there is no written agreement between Mr. Urbont and Marvel stating that he owns the copyright. This is true with respect to the 1966-ish timeframe when the songs were created for Marvel. But later, in 1995, Mr. Urbont entered into a "Settlement Agreement, Release and License" with New World Group and Marvel (Marvel was owned by New World at the time, Rupert Murdock later bought the whole shebang) for various superhero songs, including the Iron Man Theme.
The license agreement refers to Mr. Urbont as "Owner" and New World as "Licensee" and requires New World to pay $90,000 for a license to the various superhero songs. The license only allows New World to use the songs in conjunction with the cartoons. According to the license agreement, "Owner reserves all other rights of every kind and nature to use and to license others to use" the superhero songs.
This strikes me as strange. If the songs are a work for hire, why would Marvel license them from Mr. Urbont? They would already own them. The agreement is also stylized as a "settlement" so perhaps Marvel found it cheaper to pay Mr. Urbont than to litigate when he came after them for using the songs in the cartoons. But if that were the case, why didn't they take a license to all rights to the songs (or just buy them outright)? I guess it was a business decision to only use the songs with the cartoons, but it seems odd that a sophisticated publishing company like Marvel would own the copyright to something, but then pay someone else for a limited license to that work (and acknowledge the licensee as "Owner") without trying for more. The brief is redacted so maybe this would be clear upon reading the whole thing.
Perhaps most interesting is this part of the license agreement:
If this license agreement supersedes all previous agreements between the parties, does this mean that it makes Mr. Urbont the owner even if these songs originally were works for hire?
Also strange, for several reasons, is Sony's argument that Marvel owns the copyright because in 1967 Marvel released a record containing two of the non-superhero-specific songs written by Mr. Urbont: "The Merry Marvel Marching Society" and "The Marvel Super-Heroes Have Arrived." The record was distributed to members of Marvel's fan club, the Merry Marvel Marching Society. That isn't strange I guess. But I found the record on eBay for $99.99 and that's some strange shit to spend a hundo on. Seriously, would you pay a hundred bucks to listen to this?
Or this?
Sony asserts that this record is proof that Marvel owns the superhero songs because these two songs are from the group of seven Marvel asked Mr. Urbont to write. The record says "COPYRIGHT 1967 MARVEL COMICS GROUP" and it has the C-in-a-circle symbol on it. This is a strange assertion--I could print copies of "For Esme--With Love and Squalor" and write "COPYRIGHT 2015 ZMAN" on the books but that doesn't mean I really own the copyright. And if Marvel owned the copyright then, again, why did they take the limited license in 1995? Also strange--the 1995 license agreement does not mention these two songs, it only mentions the five superhero intros. So if these songs are related to the other five, why aren't these two included in the license? Perhaps the unredacted brief makes this clear.
The license agreement also references certain "master recordings" of the superhero songs as Schedule A to that agreement.
Schedule A isn't included in the copy attached to Mr. Urbont's brief though, and Sony alleges that they asked for but never received proof from Mr. Urbont that he owns any actual recordings of the Iron Man Theme (as opposed to, for example, sheet music for the song). Why hasn't Mr. Urbont produced these master recordings? Do any exist? If not, then how could Ghostface and RZA have copied them? Which segues into Sony's next argument.
Sony alleges that there is no recording of the Iron Man Theme separate and apart from the cartoon, therefore, the song is part of an audiovisual work and is not a "sound recording" for purposes of the Copyright Act. Here's the cartoon with the song on youtube. I'd embed it here but that seems like bad karma in light of the foregoing. In any event, it appears that RZA copied the song from a recording of the cartoon. Mr. Urbont even testified that this is probably what happened--he said that he has the "master recordings" and that no one copied those because they're in his apartment so RZA must have copied the song from a home video of the cartoon.
Sony argues that copying the sound from an audiovisual work does not constitute copyright infringement of a "sound recording," so Mr. Urbont's state law claims are preempted by the federal 1976 Act. You might say this is why people hate lawyers, but I think Sony is right here.
After reading briefs from both sides I'm confused. I wouldn't be surprised if Mr. Urbont wrote multiple Iron Man Themes and retained ownership of one and sold the other to Marvel, or something weird like that. That might explain the various other oddball documents in the record--apparently conflicting copyright renewal forms, documents reciting ownership by Urbont Music, by Jack Urbont Associates, by Mr. Urbont individually. Or maybe the facts are just confusing, at least as presented in the briefs.
I am, admittedly, a stupid guy, but the asserted facts in this case are too unclear for me to figure out exactly what happened. The preemption argument is stronger than the work for hire argument but even there, is it really clear what RZA copied from? So I don't think either side will win a motion for summary judgment--there's a genuine dispute.
Ghostface Killah's latest album is called "Sour Soul" and it's a collaboration with some Canadian guys called BADBADNOTGOOD. You can't buy it yet but you can stream it. I suggest you go get your headphones and start listening. For the third album in a row Pretty Tone chose to work with a live band instead of rhyming over samples or computer-produced sounds. All three have a vintage soul vibe but these particular tracks have a 70's funk feel reminiscent of the movies I used to watch on Sunday afternoons on WWOR and WPIX when I was a kid.
That probably provides no context for you, but suffice it to say that there's something authentically vintage about this music. I don't think this will go down as one of GFK's all time classic albums, but it's definitely an interesting continuation of an already interesting departure from his previous style.
My favorites are Ray Gun, Nuggets of Wisdom, Mind Playing Tricks, Food and Gunshowers.
As you all remember, Jack Urbont obtained a default judgment against Ghostface Killah in his copyright case involving his "Iron Man Theme." On January 20, he moved for summary judgment against the remaining defendants Sony Music Etnertainment and Razor Sharp Records.
The brief itself isn't exactly a riveting read and now that GFK isn't involved the matter isn't quite as entertaining (at least for me). But I plan to see this thing through to a final judgment for the sake of completeness. Somewhat entertaining was this piece of a transcript from the deposition of one of Sony's in-house lawyers:
Seems unlikely to me that anyone in the music business doesn't know the RZA's real name, especially in light of the fact that the RZA has the production credit for "Intro" and "Iron's Theme - Conclusion," the songs from "Supreme Clientele" at issue in this case. And he's named in Urbont's Rule 26 initial disclosures. But who would pay attention to stuff like that?
Up next: the defendants' responsive brief! I suspect their legal maneuvering will not be mere child's play.
It's no secret that I'm an Action Bronson fan. He is the latest in a long line of brilliant emcees who don't take themselves too seriously. Biz Markie, Kool Keith, the Beastie Boys, Del the Funky Homosapien, MF Doom, and Ghostface Killah turn their rapier wit inwards and poke fun of themselves from time to time. Doom and Ghost have long been rumored to have a collaboration album in the works. They recently released a song "Ray Gun" which is not from said hypothetical album, but from the upcoming "Sour Soul" collaboration between GFK and something called BADBADNOTGOOD. It's funky as hell.
Ghostface and Doom's brand of unseriousness is my favorite. The spread a layer of grime over the farcical, the cover the antic in grit, and they do so in a stream of consciousness fashion that often blows my mind.
Action Bronson has been called a Ghostface knockoff because their voices are remarkably alike, and because Bronsoline uses similar preposterous wordplay. While Ghostdini's recent sonic experiments turned songs into chapters of a book (similar to how episodes of "prestige" TV are used to tell a fragment of the series' story), Action Bronson delves into the psychodelic. Here's the artwork for his new single, "Actin Crazy," from his upcoming album "Mr. Wonderful":
For the record, that's a 300+ pound Albanian redhead wearing 3D goggles, a brown track suit, and weightlifting gloves, shooting a laser gun in outer space while riding a shark that shoots laser beams out of its head and missiles from its gills, and is held aloft by clouds in its fins/armpits while being supported by a flotilla of missile-laden fish that appear to have nasty dispositions. And the song sounds as crazy as that picture looks.
This trippy lunacy is not limited to "Actin Crazy." Check out the video for "Easy Rider," another song from "Mr. Wonderful."
If you're not excited for this album then we probably shouldn't talk music. But if you want talk about this album you're going to have to wait until March 24.
On the second day of Gheorghemas, Big Gheorghe gave to me...
Two albums to look forward to; and
A fat guy in a jer-sey
I haven't done my fair share of posting here this year in general (thanks rob for carrying us around like Yoda in Luke Skywalker's backpack) and I haven't had much music commentary in particular. So I'm excited to report on two new albums that will be released soon.
1. "36 Seasons" by Ghostface Killah
Ghostface released "Twelve Reasons to Die" last year and he's following it up with another concept album called "36 Seasons" to be released on December 9. You can listen to the whole thing here. Each track is a separate chapter in a story about Tony Starks' return to Staten Island after 9 years (9 years X 4 seasons/year = 36 seasons) to find that everything's fucked up and he has to fix it. Some tracks are smooth, others are rough. It's all good.
For the second time in a row GFK has released an album that really is a unitary whole to be listened to front to back. Maybe Ghostdini can save the album as a medium?
2. "Tuxedo" by Tuxedo
Tuxedo is a funk collaboration between Mayer Hawthorne and Jake One, so naturally I'm all in. And you should be too with shit like this.
The album drops on March 5, 2015 so we have enough time to grow our hair out and work on our dance moves so that we can appear in one of the later videos.
In my last update on the Jack Urbont/Ghostface Killah saga, I whinged that we might never get to see footage or a transcript from Ghostface's deposition. Looks like we can change "might" to "will."
The judge handling the case wrote a letter to Ghostdini in May telling him that he had to appear for a deposition within 40 days. As you recall, he did not appear for his deposition so Urbont moved for sanctions and a default judgment. Judge Buchwald granted the motion last week. Not even Pretty Toney could beat the clock this time.
It was FRCP 37(b) in particular that laid the Wallabee Champ low. Simply put, if the court orders you to provide some particular discovery to the opposing party and you don't, the court can sanction you or even enter judgment against you. Thus, the God's decision to run instead of sit (for a deposition) ultimately did him in.
And Urbont has triumphed.
But only to the tune of $3,758.58, which are the costs Urbont incurred for the cancelled depositions. I assume Urbont will seek damages for copyright infringement because, after all, that was the whole point of this lawsuit in the first place. I doubt Ironman will need to be deposed for that part of the case so we'll just have to wistfully dream about the transcript that never happened.
When I first started writing about Jack Urbont's lawsuit against Sony Music and Ghostface Killah, I said:
The best part of this case is yet to come: discovery. I salivate at the thought of getting to review Ghostface Killah's emails over the past 11+ years. And can you imagine what his deposition will be like? I envision a transcript peppered with "C'mon son," "Nah mean," and "Word is bond God."
Unfortunately, the "best part" may never happen. Mr. Urbont recently filed a motion for sanctions against Pretty Tone for completely blowing off all of his discovery obligations, including several emails attached as exhibits. It's a bit of a hoot (although they thankfully refer to Ghostface as "Coles").
The firm representing Mr. Urbont sent an associate named Andrew Coffman to take Ghost's deposition. Mr. Coffman has an impressive resume and he looks like a nice enough guy.
He does not, however, look like the type of guy who regularly spends 7 hours locked in a conference room with this guy:
Note that we have photographic evidence that GFK still uses a Blackberry; maybe he and Mr. Coffman have that in common. Anyway, Mr. Coffman flew up to NYC from Nashville and he showed up for the deposition. So did counsel for Sony. As did the court reporter and presumably the videographer. The only person who failed to make it? Ghostdini! They even recorded the world's shortest transcript to document his absence.
So they rescheduled the deposition about two-and-a-half months later. It was moved again to accommodate The Kid, only about five days but the back-and-forth between Mr. Coffman and the Wallabee Champ's manager Mike Caruso is fantastic. Mr. Caruso proudly rocks an AOL email handle and gives no fucks at all about grammar and spelling. He clearly doesn't understand what a deposition is or how it works because at one point he asked Mr. Coffman "and as far as the deposition can you take it from Dennis late today?" No, Mr. Coffman can't do it late today because (a) he's in Nashville, (b) the deposition is noticed for NYC, (c) he has to line up a court reporter and videographer, (d) he has to line up a conference room to hold the event, (e) he has to get all his exhibits there, and (f) he's entitled to 7 hours on the record, which doesn't include breaks, so if you start "late" you'll be there until midnight. And more importantly ... Dennis? Really? C'mon son.
Anyway, they eventually agreed to hold the deposition on June 24. On the night of June 23, Mr. Coffman, Mr. Caruso, and Ironman himself had a conference call where Toney Starks explained that he was in LA and would not be able to make his deposition the next morning. He essentially asked for a do over.
Since then, the parties haven't been able to schedule the deposition. And GFK still hasn't produced a single document.
Mr. Urbont is accordingly ripshit. He wants a default judgment and he wants to be comped for all the money he outlaid for these depositions that never happened. And he might get it given that the judge already threatened to sanction Cocaine Biceps if he didn't comply with his discovery obligations.
The biggest loser in all of this? Obviously, Mr. Coffman. Even if he had no idea who Ghostface Killah was before this case, a few minutes spent working the googles would make it plainly apparent that this deposition was the opportunity of a young barrister's lifetime. A few well-placed questions with Ghostfacian answers could land him on the homepages of Law360, WorldstarHipHop, Grantland, hell maybe even Gheorghe: The Blog! Unfortunately, it looks like it will never happen.
This is the first in what will likely be a series of one post about a few random things in bite-sized format. I've been meaning to write these up as individual posts but haven't been able to because:
I wrote about my wrist injury previously and TR suggested I post some post-surgery photos. Here's the final layer of bandages covering my bloody gash. TR's reaction: "Ew, hairy arms."
And here's the gash itself without stitches. The puckering is especially choice. So I have a puckered gash.
Finally, here's the screw that went into my gash.
The Ghostface reference to my fucked up writing hand brings me to:
2. Ghostface doesn't pay his legal bills.
It's been a while since I updated you on Ghostface's copyright issues. It doesn't seem like much happened substantively, probably because Ghostdini doesn't pay his legal bills. His lawyer (he of the AOL email address) moved to withdraw from representing Pretty Tone because The Kid hasn't paid for any of the work done to date. The judge complied so the Wallabee Champ doesn't have representation at the moment, at least not that I know of. 10-4 good buddy Tone got his RFP's up!
Speaking of rap-related legal disputes ...
3. Judge Englemayer plays his trill card, dismisses Z-Trip from Beastie Boys v. Monster Energy.
Judge Englemayer must've read a bunch of old GTB comments because he quoted me ... quoting the Beastie Boys. And he did so while granting Z-Trip's motion for summary judgment in the complaint brought against him by Monster Energy. His Honor concluded that "[i]n musical terms, Z-Trip can now, therefore, rest at least 'as cool as a cucumber in a bowl of hot sauce,' because Monster's Third-Part Complaint against him has 'got the rhyme and reason but no cause.' Beastie Boys, So Watcha Want (Capitol Records 1992)."
On the subject of trill and law enforcement ...
4. True Detective ended like that?
All that metaphysical psychedelic mumbo-jumbo ended like that? For real dough?!? That's not at all what I expected.
But you know what I did expect ...
5. Tribe hoops breaks your heart again.
You shouldn't let it. Yes, I have a somewhat irrational disdain for all things W&M, but there's something cool about never making the NCAA tournament. First and foremost W&M is an academic school whose athletes are students first and foremost. No one in the history of sports has attended W&M in order to boost their likelihood of becoming a pro athlete. W&M's inability to win a conference championship highlights its academic focus. And as soon as they make the tournament once they're in the same company as Houston Baptist and Prairie View. If Charlie Brown ever kicked the football he'd just be a baldheaded kid who never changes his shirt. Marls jokes aside, no one wants to be that guy?
And while we're talking Tribe,
6. I finally saw the Tribe Called Quest documentary.
It's fantastic, a must-see if you love Tribe, Native Tongues, 90's NY hiphop,or if you ever suffered through the experience of living with me. If none of the foregoing apply to you, the first half of the movie will establish why I've been continuously pumping their music for over 20 years.
It's as if executives at VH1 said "What can we do to make zman watch one of our shows?" Ghostface Killah and his wife Kelsey Nykole will appear on the new season of Couple's Therapy starting January 2.
I guess Kelsey just read the lyrics to Wildflower. I can't wait to see Pretty Tone do his thing, although I hope the show doesn't turn GFK into a caricature of himself like Surreal Life/Flavor of Love did to Flavor Flav. Set your DVRs accordingly.
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