Tuesday, March 30, 2021

Around the Horn, and a Question About Dinner

Good afternoon, everybody. Here's some fresh gheorghasbord with A. Whitney Blogger.

Baseball season starts Thursday. And there was much rejoicing. Expect a “green fields of the mind” kind of baseball preview post coming up any minute now. We have top men working on it. Top. Men.

In the meantime, from the Nerd Herd: For the past couple of months, rob and Marls and I have participated in a Strat-o-matic baseball league managing players from the 1980's on middling clubs we assembled. Will Clark is really all I've got, though Cliff Johnson has hit 36 taters in 360 AB's (you do the math). My Tidewater Tides are 67-86 with three 3-game-series to be played over the next three nights. Marls' Queens Kings has the same miserable record, except that I have made 32 transactions since the season started and he hasn't touched his crap team. Kong has 33 dongs. And then there's rob, leading his garbage division at a 76-77 clip. Cecil Cooper's 44 dingers and Jimmy Key have led the way for him.  Will he make the playoffs? Will he do so with a winning record? Will Marls or I finish worst in the league (as we are now)? All this and more. Stay tuned!

Vinny Green Balls
The NFL Draft is a month away, but that doesn't prevent daily headlines about it. From the Who Gives a Shit? file cabinet, we announce Whitney's suggested pick for the Washington Football Team: Christian Darrisaw, LT from Virginia Tech. B'more guy who did some time at Fork Union Military Academy prior to becoming a Hokie. FUMA, known for Vinny Testaverde and Don Majkowski and Mike Quick and Plaxico and Anthony Castonzo and Morgan Moses and a whole mess o' Buckeyes like Eddie George. And Mel Turpin. And Jerry Richardson and Kevin Plank and The Big Lebowski. And Weenie Reynolds, our fraternity buddy. 

It's also known to me as the school in the Virginia Prep League we'd play every fall. My junior year we lost to them at home, 10-7, on a last-second FG. So sad, as it would have meant we registered two wins instead of one that special season. A year later we bused up to FUMA, focused on revenge. We trailed at the half, 53-0. It didn't get better from there. The kids working the chains (the best part of life at FUMA, I'd gauge) got into the game against us in the 4th quarter. So sad, as it would have meant we registered two wins instead of one that special season. 

Back to the original point... I hope the WFT takes him at #19. Speaking of that stupid acronym, team president Jason Wright says “Washington Football Team under consideration as permanent name, cites fan sentiment.” This isn't even in the Top 10 Idiotic Things Daniel Snyder's Team Ever Did, but it's up there. Morons.

Happy Birthday to Maimonides (whb 886), Jethro Tull (280), Francisco Goya (whb 275), Vincent Van Gogh (whb 168), Sean O'Casey (whb 141), Sonny Boy Williamson (whb 107), John Astin (91), Eric Clapton (76), Warren Beatty (84), Paul Reiser (65), Charlie Weis (65), MC Hammer (59), Tracy Chapman (57), Ian Ziering (57), Piers Morgan (56), Celine Dion (53), Secretariat (whb 51), Norah Jones (42), Sergio Ramos (35), Richard Sherman (33), Brooke Bush (21), and, I'm guessing, lots of other people. You're having cocktails and a fine feast of food at your house for an extended evening of conversation and post-meal activities of your choice (anything from Uno to leg wrestling); which four (4) of these people are you inviting to join you? If you like, you can pick the version of them from any age/era of their lives.

Norfolk brewery to host adult-only Easter egg hunt. Did anyone else's mind go to a dirtier place than the reality is? It's beer tickets in the eggs. And candy and toys, which aren't that adult. I expect there should at least be some cussing. Maybe some drunks. Probably not nudity. I guess they just hate kids. Fair enough.

All the news that's fit to print tells us that “the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention warned of 'impending doom' from a potential fourth surge of the pandemic.” Keep it wrapped until you're vaxxed. Godspeed, good people.

That said, whenever our annual summit resumes being in-person, we have the sign at the door, ready to roll. 



19 comments:

Mark said...

I played a game at Fork Union during a well deserved suspension/demotion to the JV team at Chowan. Yes we had a JV team. Mostly for developing guys who weren’t ready to play for the big squad but needed reps more than a year sitting out and redshirting. I got sent down twice my freshman year. Both times due to being an idiot/enthusiastic drinker. First time we got smashed by Hargrave. The second we barely lost to Fork Union. At least my suspensions resulted in me playing in cool/storied gyms.

And as for that vaccine, I have my first appointment this Friday afternoon. Giddyup.

rob said...

whitey bulger, you say?

zman said...

Hammer, Weis, Secretariat, Clapton. That's the list.

rob said...

my lead physical therapist is a big dude. played college hoops at longwood and iona, but you'd look at him and think he was a defensive end somewhere. 6'5" or so, probably 260 and yoked.

he wanted me to do lunges carrying weights, and he said, "here, take the light ones" while handing me 25-lb dumbbells. "jay," i said, "your definition of light and mine are two different things." and we laughed.

good times.

OBX dave said...

Hey Mark, as someone who played and studies hoops above a cursory level, I'm curious about your thoughts on the Zags. Apologies if you've opined about them in the past and I missed it.

rob said...

maimonides, charlie weis, sergio ramos, and mc hammer. mostly so the former could make jokes about weis not needing to eat all the fish that day.

rob said...

dave, gonzaga has some stuff to show you

rob said...

pour out a whole lotta crazy juice for g gordon liddy

zman said...

As if Antoine Winfield Jr. didn't make me feel old enough, this upcoming draft features Asante Samuel Jr. and Patrick Surtain II.

rootsminer said...

Of the birthday bunch, I'll take Norah, Sonny Boy (either I or II), Sherman and Celine Dion. The latter mostly to see how she'd fit in to such a crew.

mr kq said...

HS teammate played at FU with Dinner Bell Mel.

First shot yesterday so got that goin for me. Which is nice.

Mark said...

A little late, Dave as I was on a dinner date with my daughter but here’s my Gonzaga take. Best, most talented team Few has had and I don’t think it’s particularly close.

Suggs and Kispert are an NBA backcourt. I think Suggs will be a multiple time all star. Really talented kid who’s also exceptionally tough and a born leader. He’s not as big but he’s got a little Brandon Roy to him

Easy to see Kispert as just a shooter but he’s got some off the bounce game and will play for a decade plus in the NBA. I don’t love Timme but he’s a really good big man in the current state of CBB. Those are their big 3 but they’re incredibly deep beyond that. Shit, Andrew Nembhard was all SEC at Florida and you forget he’s out there sometimes.

Perhaps more important than all of that is they defend at really high level which is definitely not something you can say for many of their predecessors.

rob said...

per kenpom, and to mark's point, zags are 1st in adjusted offense and 4th in adj defense. they get an absurd amount of layups. usc allowed an average of 36 points in the paint per game this season. zags scored 58.

Unknown said...

After much deliberation, I'll wine and dine with Vinnie Van Gogh, Eric Clapton, Norah Jones, and, in a surprise pick, Paul Reiser. I can't be the only funny guy at the table.

OBX dave said...

Gracias, Mark, and gracias to you, as well, Capt. Robvious, re: your first point, not your second, which is appreciated.

Jamboni said...

It may become apparent with this comment that I don't closely follow the NBA, but how on Earth is JJ Reddick only 36? Makes me feel SUPER OLD.

Unknown said...

Rob still thinks he's sexy

Unknown said...

On this day in 2010, GTB had three (3) separate posts on one day. Postcount was huge back then.

rob said...

it's true. i think i'm very sexy. getting moreso with age.