I have never been to Tyler, TX, which is about 90 minutes east of Dallas, but I am familiar with Greenberg Smoked Turkeys. A year ago, a work client surprised me at the office by sending a giant smoked turkey as a thank you gift for work I did with them that year. This was a thoughtful gift, but a suboptimal one for somebody who commutes to/from New York. Nevertheless, I lugged it from my office to the ferry to my car and to my home and fed it to the family. They did not love the turkey, which was SUPER SMOKY. I did though. And my dog did too. But he doesn't really count because he eats rabbit shit by choice. Here is a photo of the turkey from a year ago, before I started carving it.
With this experience, I had some context for the following headline that I ran into on Twitter last night. And yes, I immediately laughed when I read it. I'm terrible.
The big question - why use the word exploded? Why not perished or killed? They are animals, not popcorn kernels. It totally changed my perception of the event and made me think of exploding fem-bots from the Austin Powers movie.
And while we (or me, at the very least) are being heartless, let's just take this to the logical next level with a hat-tip to our annual Thanksgiving post: As God is my witness...
In closing, in a more somber tone, this really is a catastrophe for a small business. The company now has to refund orders ahead of its busy season. But the company has vowed to come back in 2021. If you like really really really smoky meat, you will like this turkey. It was a bit much, even for my open-minded palate, but perhaps I should plan to put in an order in 2021 after making light of this event.
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28 comments:
i am less, equally, or more terrible for wondering if the fire was just a really efficient way to smoke 87,000 turkeys at once?
I am planning to smoke a turkey this year. For the two bloggers who live near me, I have room for more birds. Let me know if you want to throw yours on.
Anthony Edwards is slated to get picked #1 overall. You loved him as Goose, Gilbert the nerd, and Dr. Greene, but did you remember that he and Eric Stoltz were Spicoli's buddies in Fast Times?
Don't forget The Sure Thing, the movie that introduced me to shotgunning beer.
Apparently, NY Giants HC Joe Judge got into a fistfight w/ his OL coach, and then fired him immediately. That's some Jets-level bullshit. #culture.
My most memorable fistfight happened on the golf course, which my kids find hilarious.
Robinson Cano just lost $24 million in one trip to the john.
I’ve smoked turkey twice on Thanksgiving. A good brine and maybe even a little injection goes a long way.
Speaking of long ways, it’s a long was from when the NBA Draft was supposed to take place but I’m no less excited. I love, love, love the NBA Draft even when it’s a subpar one (though I think you can make the case there’s quality depth in the draft just no sure thing stars).
Related: As I’ve mentioned here before, Obi Toppin spent his early to mid teen years down here. I know his Dad well and plays with and against him on multiple teams. Here’s a post from The Players Tribune that talks about Obi’s journey as well as his inspiration from his father, Obadiah.
Link would help:
https://www.theplayerstribune.com/posts/the-next-generation-obi-toppin
Judge did not fight Marc Colombo. Colombo is 6'8" and 320 lbs. Joe Judge is not.
rootsy, you have to tell the story now.
Did Colombo beat Judge with his flip-flop?
Obi’s dad is an NYC street ball legend. The locals here are hoping to get him at #8.
You can kill a man with a flip-flop. But not a Teva.
first draft hot take: i think james wiseman is gonna be a monster in the league.
Some serious Marvin Williams vibes with Patrick Williams. Anytime you can take a guy who couldn’t start on his college team in the top 5, well, you have to do it.
Balls and Okoros both hosting super-spreader parties. Nice.
Chino Hills stand up!
Toppin will be there for the Knicks. Killian Hayes’ jump shot form is atrocious.
Lack of a crowd and an arena is killing the vibe of the draft. Feels disjointed.
Obi!!
His little brother will be playing at Kentucky on his year. Good genes.
*this year*
my wife and our friends have made a habit of going to a local brewery for trivia on wednesday nights. i've never been able to make it because the soccer team i coach practiced on wednesdays. season's over, so i went tonight. we won by one point, because i knew danny willett won the 2016 masters. they're welcome.
tyrese haliburton's suit is an all-timer. possibly my favorite ever.
Cole Anthony got his blazer from Drexel, the pimp in True Romance.
Cole is a pimp.
I’ve enjoyed this draft.
The (Malachi) Flynn family picture is the highlight of the night.
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