I have never been to Tyler, TX, which is about 90 minutes east of Dallas, but I am familiar with Greenberg Smoked Turkeys. A year ago, a work client surprised me at the office by sending a giant smoked turkey as a thank you gift for work I did with them that year. This was a thoughtful gift, but a suboptimal one for somebody who commutes to/from New York. Nevertheless, I lugged it from my office to the ferry to my car and to my home and fed it to the family. They did not love the turkey, which was SUPER SMOKY. I did though. And my dog did too. But he doesn't really count because he eats rabbit shit by choice. Here is a photo of the turkey from a year ago, before I started carving it.
With this experience, I had some context for the following headline that I ran into on Twitter last night. And yes, I immediately laughed when I read it. I'm terrible.
The big question - why use the word exploded? Why not perished or killed? They are animals, not popcorn kernels. It totally changed my perception of the event and made me think of exploding fem-bots from the Austin Powers movie.
And while we (or me, at the very least) are being heartless, let's just take this to the logical next level with a hat-tip to our annual Thanksgiving post: As God is my witness...
In closing, in a more somber tone, this really is a catastrophe for a small business. The company now has to refund orders ahead of its busy season. But the company has vowed to come back in 2021. If you like really really really smoky meat, you will like this turkey. It was a bit much, even for my open-minded palate, but perhaps I should plan to put in an order in 2021 after making light of this event.
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