Death and Cats

Long-time no post, a little pre-election day filler before shit gets real tomorrow. As I often write when I do get around to it – sorry for being a sloth. No excuses. Considering I haven’t been fired, my editors must be okay with my performance and thus, they too must share in the blame.

Been a hell of a few months with the loss of my dad who was 84 and a mom who has good days and bad since. They were married 60 years. 

Between say mid-July and mid-October I was in VA roughly every other week for 5-7 days at a clip rotating with one or multiple sisters as a part of dad's family nurse core. The first couple of jaunts I chose driving as my means of travel, coming to enjoy the “Dan-time”. Lots of podcasts, phone calls, catching up with folks. Planes carried me me in as well. When I flew in, I’d land and head straight to Anita’s (Herndon) for breakfast before what would become a dreadful drive out to Winchester. That may sound sort of shitty, but it is the god's honest truth. Please don't misinterpret - I wouldn't have had it any other way. Upon leaving after my first stint, the feelings were that of reward, appreciation, big familial love, mental exhaustion, and of course sadness. Each time a sister or I would leave after a "shift", we felt certain that was the last time. But being the stubborn and tough son of a bitch that he was, he afforded us the chance to take care of him a few more times. 

No fewer than half a dozen evenings I’d sit on my parents (my dad’s really) sunporch/mancave to have a drink(s), watch tv, catch up on emails or…start a post. I could never get through it. A couple of sentences in and the waterworks would start . Shut computer.  

And this isn’t that either. It’s something altogether different. It was spawned by Halloween commentary within the 10/30 post. It got me thinking about my kids, and more so my middle child Grace – I call her Gracey. She’s a force of nature for a 9-year old. Strong, independent, gritty AF. Totally different than the princess we predicted she’d be. She’s a good lookin kid who was big into Elsa, dolls, and donning dresses. She is not that anymore. I will simultaneously pity and respect the first boy that asks her on a date. If I’m being honest, that day may not come until she’s a woman and the boy is a man b/c god knows the lad that makes this choice will be required to have a truckload of self esteem and balls that require the same truck to haul them around in.

It wasn’t long ago when we lost our second of two cats, Sammy. I inherited Sammy when I imported my then gal, now wife, to Pinehurst from Chicago back in ’04. Needless to say, Sam Cat was Fam Cat, and Fam Cat was Gracey’s cat. My tough and typically non emotive girl took Sam’s death very hard, sleeping with his boxed up ashes for a week or so after his death, while crying herself to a happier place.

Honestly, my wife and I were looking forward to Sam living his 9^th and final life. That too probably sounds a little callous especially considering the closeness between he and Grace, but we both felt the same way. It was his time. He was miserable, no appetite, throwing up all the time, waking us up at all hours of the night. And was also looking forward to being cat free for the first time in our lives together. I’m just not really a cat person. Sorry.

And prior to Sammy heading up to cat heaven, I let it be known that we were going to remain cat free indefinitely, period the end. One weekend about two weeks after cremation, I'm drinking my morning coffee and hear my printer. Gracey meanwhile is traipsing back and forth between her bedroom and ours where our printer is, while trying to keep a low profile. It took me a bit before it registered but when it does I finally ask, “Why and what are you printing?” knowing that as a 9-year old she’s not doing homework on a Saturday at 8 in the morning. “Nothing dad”. So I let it go. Two days later when I get home from work, a 3 pager was left for me on our counter, font size roughly 80, and retyped as is below.

Cover Page: WHY I SHOULD GET A KITTEN    

                    BYE: GRACE (she included her last name)

Page 1:        One of the reasons why I should have a kitten is because it can help me with my problems with Sam , it will comfort me like Sam did at night. and even though nothing can replace Sam I wouldn't be as sad.

Page 2:        Another reason I should get a kitten is because it will prepare me for more responsibility, And most importantly it will take most of my sadness away.I also LOVE to smell cat food and remember

Page 3:        remember what Sam felt like , and ever sins we hade to put Sam down it has made me want a kitten even more.PLEASE LET ME HAVE A KITTEN!!!psi love you* (and the "psi love you*" in normal font size, about a 12) 

At very bottom of Page 3: THINK ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do we own a cat now you ask? Nope! To Grace’s credit, she put it in reverse and figured out she simply wanted to foster kittens, which we have been doing for the past couple of months. We are on our 5^th, but the second stint included three little ones. She takes care of them – feeds, cleans the poop boxes, whatever. And she’s completely fine when a stint ends – she goes with Val to the adoption joint to say goodbye with nary a tear because she knows one will be in the pipeline soon enough. Here's our current little one...

As mentioned, it was the Halloween comments that set this post in motion because it got me thinking about Grace, and laughing, because for at least the 5^th year in a row, she is dressing up as...a cat. I think about her fifteen years from now and having loads of cat trees, toys, and felines in her apartment. I guess there are worse things to worry about. On the flip side, in thinking about my dad and the care he received from his five kids during his last days on earth, I don’t have to worry about which if any of my kids will step up when and if I’m in a similar need – I believe each will but undoubtedly Gracey will be the QB.