Wednesday, March 25, 2020

What Car Should A Gheorghie Drive: Danimal Edition

Danimal is the only Gheorghie I haven’t met so determining the proper car for him wasn’t as easy as it was for some of you. But I know enough about him reputationally and through our virtual interactions to draw a reasonably sharp bead on what he should drive.

Danimal is a southern man. This means he likes froadin. He also lives in Florida, which means he needs to tow stuff like boats and ATVs and sometimes his buddy’s mobile estate, and he needs something with a convertible top to enjoy the weather. He also has a beautiful wife and three tow-headed kids so he needs seating for five. He golfs with presidents and kings, he travels the world, he hangs out with Snoop and Mike Brey. Simply put, Danimal is a fucking baller so price is not an issue.

Danimal should drive a mint green 1970 Ford Bronco ICON 4X4 roadster restomod with matching mint green wheels and steering wheel, a tan bikini top, tan and orange interior, a spare wheel on the back, a 5.0 liter Ford Coyote fuel injected V8, and an Aisin-Warner AX15 5-speed manual transmission.


Danimal also needs locking differentials with sport chassis and brakes. That's just how he gets down.


This particular ICON BR (that's what they call it) doesn't actually exist. I made it with their insanely variable configuration tool. If you're like me and have a lot of time on your hands you might find it fun. Check out their Land Cruiser configurator too.

ICON 4X4 offers four different Bronco restomods and the roadster is clearly the right one. It's also the cheapest, starting at only $190,000. Normally I wouldn't recommend anything this pricey as a WCSAGD but like I said Danimal balls hard and cost is no object for him.

The ICON BR is cool but practical, functional but stylish, classic but modern, and sure to generate tons of stories. Just like our man in JAX. So that's what Danimal should drive.

29 comments:

rob said...

my car is jealous of danimal's car

Danimal said...

A nice way to start the day Z - I dig it! And the color is spot on. Remember my house in NY, the one with the bar - it was the exact color and not a shade different. That was luck on your part Z, but as I always say, luck is the residue of hard work. (or was it luck?)

This shows I def need to hang with you guys in person sometime so I can shed the baller/spender rap. Am a little taken aback by the cost of this ride. If had been asked, I'd put it in the under $50k range which would be a bit more manageable. But I can dream can't I? I'll be lucky to be confined to a golf cart full time once this crisis is behind us.

Ya done well fella


rob said...

so what danimal is saying is that he's wishes he were a baller, wishes he were taller, wishes he had the number of a girl so he could call her?

zman said...

I'm just playin witcha Dtrain, I know you're a man of the people. There are a bunch of companies that do Bronco restomods like Velocity Restorations and Classic Ford Broncos. Velocity also does Scouts (looking at you rob) and ICON does Blazers. They are all insanely expensive because they are completely hand built and bespoke. These places will do whatever the heck you want. Finding people to do this work is probably hard and top fabricators demand more money than slackers. I agree that $200k is insane but someone buys these things because there are multiple companies selling them. That might change over the next few months ...

zman said...

This might suit rob's tastes, although the Elan is still the right car.

https://www.zerolabs.com/vehicles

rootsminer said...

Sweet ride for Danimal!

rob said...

those are dope, z

Dave said...

doing youtube kickboxing videos makes me realize i'm not in as good shape as i imagined.

Whitney said...

My car is jealous of all your cars. Except Dave’s.

Marls said...

Back to TR’s brisket comment from yesterday, I tend to agree with him mainly because at so many BBQ places the brisket is too lean.

Sweet ride for the DanMan.

rootsminer said...

I'll second Marls opinion on brisket. We've got a food truck here that serves the most delicious, fatty brisket I've ever had. My wife nearly gagged when she saw me eat the fatty part. She has no idea of how much porky goodness is in there.

Whitney said...

Porky Goodness. That there’s a name.

I’m a brisket fan, but I’d agree it’s frequently done in a mediocre fashion. Best I’ve had lately was in a nondescript Nashville joint. Not fancy but also not some smoke shack on the outskirts. Just some random place that crushed the brisket smoking process. As Jerry sang, goes to show, you don’t ever know.

I like burnt ends as well. Not burnt burnt, D-train. Just burnt.

TR said...

Good call on the burnt ends

Marls said...

Brisket should be like Swint.

Dave said...

i gagged when i read about your wife gagging when she watched you eat the fatty parts. yuck. i like the brunt ends better.

we actually have a decent bbq place in east brunswick, by where i used to work. i hope it survives.

https://www.jerseyshorebbq.com/east-brunswick-menus/

rootsminer said...

The fatty part is like a delicious pig butter cookie. I like burnt ends too.

T.J. said...

pig butter cookie....mmmmmmmmmm

Mr KQ said...

Mr KQPops (my dad), was not quite the level of baller as Danimal but did have this exact ride. Minus the bling. Same year and color, white hard top. Three on the tree if I recall. Would load it up with Wapo's on weekends and roll me down the street while I delivered papers off the back with tailgate down. Btdubs walking that route during the week SUCKED. Then we'd hit Dunkin Donuts in Vienna after. Great memories.

Actually he was a different kind of baller. Dropped out of Western High in DC at 17 and headed down to enlist in Navy (like many others in those days, forged age of bday). Was in the S Pacific a couple months later.

zman said...

The big American convertible is the second-worst casualty of the rise of SUVs, surpassed only by the demise of the affordable sports coupe. What did Don Draper, Vinny Gambini, Vincent Vega, Hunter S. Thompson, Clarence Worley, Morris Buttermaker, Sonny from A Bronx Tale, Doc Brown and Jack Cates drive? Big American convertibles. Your car is jealous of nothing, Whit.

TR said...

On that topic, my most bizarre job ever was as a driver for a rich drunk who had a beach house in Belmar, NJ. It was the summer after I graduated college. The guy owned a company that leased X-ray equipment to hospitals and lived in New Hope, PA. He had a DUI once, so he decided to have me as his designated driver on Sat/Sun nights. I would drop him and a bimbo off at dinner, take them to a shore club, and then take them all home. In the interim, I would hang in his car and read.

He had four cars. Two were Cadillac convertibles, one from ‘72 (white) and one from ‘75 (red). They were as big as a house, but oh my Lord was it fun to drive them at the beach in the summer. I would get sooo many comments. Must’ve looked weird b/c I was some mop-haired kid reading Kerouac while the owner was eating wine at a restaurant. His third car was a new, yellow Mustang convertible. It was a car meant for Belmar. Compliments on that one came from white trash guys. The fourth car was a Porsche. He only brought it down one time. I got super high the afternoon I was supposed to work and bailed. I had just learned to drive stick and knew my limits.

Whitney said...

I think my Chevy Impala might be a tad jealous of its cousins the Caddies that Don Draper, Morris Buttermaker (great call) and the others drove. Something about a Cadillac that’s smooth stylin.

I always wanted a Corvette when I was a kid. And a Porsche, though I didn’t know I’d be 6’5”. I’ll agree with Z, I’m a big American convertible kind of guy. But I don’t think it can be my first car and I don’t have the bucks for a second car right now. Someday, lads.

Whitney said...

Hmmmm

https://bringatrailer.com/listing/1963-cadillac-eldorado/

zman said...

Cadillacs are simultaneously pretentious and sleazy. You can trust a man in an impala.

Shlara said...

This is my favorite GTB recurring feature

Dave said...

belmar!

zman said...

Did anyone click on the mobile estate link? Scariest place I ever delivers a pizza. Rebel flags, targets with bulletholes nailed to posts, free-range pit bulls, you name it. A Nissan Sentra with NJ plates stuck out

Mark said...

My opinion on brisket is that when it’s cooked skillfully its splendid. But the window between under and over cooked for brisket is incredibly small. I won’t order it most places. And I’ve cooked it a bunch but still end screwing up the cook somewhat and then dumping some of the meat.

The most underrated cut of meat for bbq is the beef rib. Combines the beef and fattiness of brisket with an easier/quicker cook.

If you’re at a place you aren’t familiar with, then TR is right. Stick to ribs, pulled pork and sausage. That said, you probably shouldn’t be at that place to begin with.

Whitney said...

Just watched the 2011 film Contagion. ‘Cause, you know. Holeeeee shit. Lotsa lotsa parallels. I need some light fare to offset that. Something... Police Academyish.

Whitney said...

And in 2016, Danimal recommended Captain Stan’s ‘cue in Woodbine, GA. I had the Boston Butt sandwich and some collards. Loved it.